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One week later

Clary almost always faded out the words that came from Jace's and Simon's mouths whenever they talked about weapons ,turning it into background noise , the way one would grow accustomed to remaining unfazed by traffic noises , or impacient yelling on the streets of New York . Sure, she enjoyed the hunt, loved the adrenaline coursing through her veins, the feeling of empowerement , as if she could take over the whole world with the three of them at her side , but she didn't enjoy talking all the time about it. When she was at home , in their chambers, she wanted to feel as normal as possible, do mundane things , such as talking to Isabelle about magazines , the latest fashion, bedspreads , or even about books , but not the ones involving their world. It might seem shallow to others, but it had always been hers and Isabelle's coping system , how they managed to stay sane in the whirlwind that was their life. She just struggled to make the best of what she had. But, today of all days, nothing appeared to raise her interest or catch her attention.

Moreover , Isabelle 's favourite topic had become babies. She would rave about clothes , bassinets, changing tables, books about pregnancy , breast pumps and all sorts of objects that made Clary want to scream at the top of her lungs and run for her life. She begrudgingly felt a tinge of disappointment when she noticed just how excited Isabelle became day by day with the idea of being a mother. She had thought that they would rebel together against the whole idea, but she found herself utterly alone. Sometimes she wondered if there was something wrong with her. Women were supposed to want to be mothers, it was one of their purposes on Earth . However, Clary had never seen that as a purpose, more as an option. Her goal on Earth was to slay demons , not to breastfeed, change diapers and sing songs to a baby.

Even more frustrating was the fact that she didn't know how Jace felt about the whole situation. About being a father, about her not being the same, in more ways than one. They talked for hours every day , but she could sense both their attempts to keep their topics light, innocuous , none of them daring to dive into the disturbing ones.

Clary realised that she had become more withdrawn since Hodge's announcement , but she had no power whatsoever over how she felt , she couldn't chase the uneasiness away, no matter how hard she tried. She didn't even know why she was in Isabelle's room with the others when all she craved was solitude, time away with her thoughts. Although she knew worrying like that would slowly tear her apart, until she wouldnt be able to find her true self anymore among the shattered pieces.

She was sitting on an armchair next to the window, with her legs tucked under her , wrapped in a warm , downy wool blanket , which seemed to bring her no comfort at all .Her slim fingers tightly engulfed a cup of tea from which she had yet to take a sip. Her eyes were unblinkingly gazing outside , her expression so blank , it sometimes seemed she wasn't even breathing. The dark shadows under her eyes gave away the fact that she wasn't getting much sleep.

It was a lovely day , and while nature had always delighted her , she couldn't bring herself to care. The sky was light blue , spotted with fluffy white clouds that slowly drifted across it , freely , without any worries. Blinding rays of sun shot through the rustling tree leaves casting shadows all over the yard. The warmth of the sun caressed the surface of the window, brightening Clary's face , but not dulling the ache inside her at all. She didn't want this. She sometimes considered running away , but quickly chided herself for it. She couldn't leave Jace , nor Isabelle.

Jace would sometimes flash a worried glance in Clary's direction , but quickly return his attention to Simon. He knew that if she wanted to talk to him about what was bothering her , she would . However, it wouldn't be hard to guess what was on her mind from the way she always seemed to flinch and wince whenever she saw a child , or even heard the word baby.

Clary didn't even notice that Isabelle had left her side to go to the bathroom , until she saw her come into the room squeaking and shrieking . Simon and Jace rose to their feet , startled by her outburst . Clary turned her body towards her , but didn't leave her chair,staring at Isabelle with wide, confused eyes.

"I'm pregnant !" Isabelle said, hugging Simon tightly , who looked as if he were ready to retch , his mouth agape and his eyes wide.

"Congratulations!" Jace said, smiling at them and actually feeling genuinely happy for Isabelle , until he saw Clary's horrified expression. She was holding her cup so tightly , he feared she would break it and hurt her hands. He strode towards her and placed his hands over hers . He felt her relax under his touch. Her scared doughy-eyes met his. She felt like drowning in those golden pools.

"Are you okay ?" Jace murmured, kissing her hands , while placing her cup on a small coffee table next to him . He hunkered in front of her, looking up to meet her eyes . Clary nodded quickly , clearly struggling not to show her emotions. "Of course, of course, why wouldn't I be ?" she replied in her crystalline voice, that always seemed like music to Jace's ears. She forced a smile , got up from the chair and Jace rose to his feet as well.

"You seemed upset." he said, placing a hand on the small of her back as if to show her that he was there for her if she needed him.

"Nonsense. I was just surprised.I'm perfecly fine." she shrugged and went to hug Isabelle, desperately hoping she wouldn't notice that she wasn't entirely happy. She felt delighted to see her so excited , but the whole situation still felt wrong to her. Isabelle wrapped her arms tightly around Clary's frail body.

"We need to go shopping ! " she beamed , still engulfing her in her warm , familiar arms."Have you lost weight ?" Isabelle asked groping Clary's sides, and frowning slightly.

Of course she would notice anything different in me, even in the whirlpool of emotions she was experiencing, Clary thought."Oh, I don't think so ." Clary tried to laugh. She noticed Jace studying her intently with a pucker between his brows.

"You'll be starting to gain weight soon anyway" Isabelle chuckled."We're going to be soo faattt" she chimed.

"No we're not" Clary replied, a look of horror striking her face."Besides, I'm not pregnant"

"No, but you will be ." Isabelle teased."And you're probably right, we're not going to be fat , because we're going to be on the move all the time, with our schedule" she laughed , and Clary's face relaxed.

"What do you mean with your schedule ?" Simon intervened , placing a hand on her waist."From now on you're only allowed to stay in bed. No training , no hunting , no cleaning , no effort at all."

"What ?! What am I going to do all day ?" Isabelle asked.

"Relax." Simon answered.

Isabelle gave him a puzzled look."Ok..I guess you're right."

"Of course I am ." he smiled smugly. "I always am."

"Hey, don't push it , mister " Isabelle pointed a finger at him . Jace laughed when he saw Simon's neck bob.

"Yes, dear." Simon replied.

"Oh, and , Simon" Clary intervened, before leaving with Jace , in order to let the two lovers to have their time alone.

"Yes?"

"Isabelle never cleans." she chuckled and closed the door , leaving behind a confused Simon and a blushing Isabelle, looking shyly at him through her long lashes .

Sorry it took me so long, you guys ! My schedule is just to hectic ! It's the worst ! Please review ! I love it when you do !