A/N: Hey, everyone! *waves madly*
Thanks to all those who reviewed! Did anyone know that this story has more reviews than ME High now? Chapterwise, I mean ;) And Welcome to Middle-earth High is my precious! *looks horrified*
Again, please review if you value my sanity, thanks!
(I've stopped replying to all my reviews :((( I keep on getting confused about whom I replied to and whom I didn't, so...yeah...)
Disclaimer: I do not own The Lord of the Rings.
Éowyn
Rohan
40127 Middle-earth
Arda
Dear Éowyn,
Will you marry me?
Love,
~Grima
P.S.: I expect you to stop calling me "Wormtongue" or "Midget" once we're married.
~Grima
P.S.2: I hope you're not planning on inviting your moron of a brother to our wedding. That would so ruin the reception.
~Grima
Grima Wormtongue
Rohan
40127 Middle-earth
Arda
"Dear" Grima,
Shove off.
Oh, and by the way, I told Éomer about your letter. He's coming to get you. He should arrive at your chambers in...oh...ten minutes. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Best regards,
~Éowyn
Gandalf
Wherever You Are
99998 Middle-earth
Arda
Dear Dalfy,
What are you doing these days? I haven't seen or heard from you a long time, Gandalf dear, and I'm missing my favorite wizard :((( Boohoohoo!
I've been thinking about this for a while, and how about we have a nice little wizard's gathering this week, just the two of us in my tower at Isengard? Maybe we can have a quiet smoke together, and maybe we can discuss the recent whereabouts of the One Ring! Oh, and maybe I can overpower you with my awesome magical powers and imprison you in my monster-infested, dank hallways! Aren't you just so excited? Huh? Huh?
Don't bring Radagast with you; he can be such a nasty prat sometimes. I want this to be a PRIVATE party. MWAHAHAHAH — oh, sorry, did I really just write that? Whoops! Ignore my Maniac Wizard's Laughter™ for a minute, will you, Gandalf dear? Hmm?
So come around to Orthanc at about four o' clock, maybe two or three days from now. I'll have the tea and the cakes and the leaves ready at all times, so don't worry about being late or anything! Just make sure you come...alone!
Anyway, you know we're
Best friends FOREVER!
~Saruman
Elrond
Rivendell
02448 Middle-earth
Arda
Elrond,
I just escaped from Orthanc. I've included Saruman's "invitation" in this letter, so check it out all you like. But honestly, I had no idea he would've double-timed me like that! That lying, deceitful, atrocious — oh, never mind.
I'm headed to Imladris. Alert Erestor that I'll be landing in an hour or so, and make sure you prepare that Eagle Launching Pad I gave you the last time I visited. You know what happens if you don't prepare; I'm sure Glorfindel and Elrohir still have the scars from my crazy eagle friend to prove it.
Gotta go!
~G.
P.S.: Sorry about the state the envelope's in. I was just about to send this off when the stupid eagle did a loop-the-loop over the trees, so I...er...threw up on this thing a little bit. Don't worry, half-digested cupcakes are plenty hygienic to the normal Elf. I think.
Yours, etc., etc.,
~Gandalf
Gandalf
Wherever You Are
99998 Middle-earth
Arda
Mithrandir,
How many times have I warned you about accepting treats from a strange man, especially a strange man with an evil smile and a dangerous staff? Do I really need to put you on time-out again? Or should I send for Erestor to bring in the Stick? You know you deserve a big punishment, young Maia!
Make sure you head straight home without loafing in the streets! And don't buy or eat anything at the roadway stores, you'll spoil your appetite for dinner. And for the hundredth time, wipe your feet on the mat before entering the house, and please try not to track mud into the house!
~Elrond
Elladan and Elrohir
The Road
99999 Middle-earth
Arda
Guys,
Bad news. I think your father's going paranoid.
~Gandalf
Gandalf
Wherever You Are
99998 Middle-earth
Arda
Mithrandir,
Don't be too worried. It's just his age creeping up on him, and remember, he's going through the Empty Nest Syndrome right now. Ada feels all lonely without us two around, and on top of that Arwen's trying to elope with Estel, his only other son. Tough, huh?
Could you please try and keep him happy until we come home? We'll pay you up front and everything. If you need it, the bubble wrap is in the second cabinet in the left in Erestor's study, and you'll find the straitjacket in there too if you're really desperate.
Good luck to you,
~Elladan and Elrohir
Elladan and Elrohir
The Road
99999 Middle-earth
Arda
Guys,
Oh.
~G.
Reviews and feedback are always appreciated, thank you!
~Enchanted Authoress