Just a short drabble I spontaneously wrote out of nowhere because the muse hit me.
On an unrelated note, I can't help but look at Cydaea and Azmodan and get a strong sense of "Hot Skitty on Wailord Action"...for the love of everything that is good and holy in this world, please don't try to explain to me how that union takes place...
Andariel was beginning to think that this might have been a huge mistake. It could not have been more apparent since banishing the Prime Evils that the competent members of the Evils certainly weren't the ones that she was sided with. Nothing productive had been done since Azmodan declared himself their leader, and how he'd managed to do so she couldn't fathom. Maybe they were all too scared he'd sit on them to challenge him or something.
Sometimes Belial would manage to outsmart him and take over as overlord, which inevitably gave way to Azmodan overthrowing him the second he decided to throw his weight around and use brute force to take his place back. Right now Belial was in hiding, nursing a rather large bite wound since Azmodan apparently decided to use the typical glutton's solution to problems by trying to eat them. Whoever was in charge at the time didn't matter since Andariel and Duriel were still stuck in subservience no matter who was in rule anyway. Belial had tricked them into siding with him and Azmodan against the Prime Evils by promising they'd all rule together, though in hindsight they both should have seen that lie coming from a mile away.
Duriel seemed to share her thoughts if the look on his face was anything to go by. He stood next to her with a strong look of displeasure. Azmodan was supposed to be planning and rallying his forces right now. Instead they found him fast asleep, face-first in a plate of food. Every once in a while he'd wake for just a few seconds and start chewing something before nodding off again. Andariel almost wished he would choke, just so something interesting would happen for a change.
This was an almost daily occurrence for them at this point. When Azmodan wasn't eating, he was sleeping. When he wasn't sleeping, he was going off on a tangent about how amazing and smart he was. When he wasn't going off on a tangent, he was screwing everything that moved and probably a few things that didn't. There was a fairly obvious reason the majority of his army was female. Andariel had thought that being a fellow Lesser Evil and therefore something resembling a sibling to Azmodan would mean she'd get a free pass from his lust, but to her disgust he tried to come onto her a few times as well, and he really didn't like being told no.
"I am loathe to say this, but I think we screwed up. I want the Prime Evils back," Duriel said with a sigh. Azmodan leaned to one side, gravity finally claiming his massive weight and dragging him down to the floor, the plate that he was faceplanted in crashing down with him. One of his legs twitched, but he otherwise didn't move and continued snoring loudly. "We never had to put up with this with Diablo..." he growled.
"Azmodan and Belial think they can rule forever, but it's only a matter of time before the Primes reclaim their place," Andariel stated thoughtfully. "I think it's in our best interest if we reclaim ours as well before they do so."
"You mean switch sides? You think they'd have us back after what we did to them?"
"I hope so...we're certainly getting nowhere with that lazy sack of fat and ego playing Ruler of Hell," she replied distastefully. "And if he comes onto me one more time..."
"You can always let me know and I'll bite off something he'll certainly miss," Duriel snickered.
"As amusing as that sounds brother, I don't think I want to even stay long enough to give him the chance." She spun around and began to walk away, running her hand from Duriel's head down his neck as she walked by as though petting a cat. "He probably won't even notice we're gone for several days. Now might be a good time to leave and rejoin the Primes, if you wish to join me.
Duriel spared one last look at Azmodan. A rather large puddle of drool was collecting under his head on the floor. He cringed with disgust and turned in place, following her as well. "Of course I'll join you. There is no Pain without Anguish."
"That's what I like to hear, brother," Andariel smirked.
I imagine Azmodan's probably insanely lazy. He's the embodiment of the seven deadly sins and that includes sloth. His boss battle probably would have ended very quickly if the Nephalem just walked up some stairs.