A/N: Hi Guys! Sorry I've gone a bit absent recently, had stuff going on, more the emotional drain stuff than the physical time drain stuff that also has a tendency to get in the way of free expressions of creativity. You all know how it is sometimes… Anyway, you're going to want to shoot me but I've actually (again!) had this chapter like 90% done since not long after I posted the last, but again the correct headspace for properly implementing the final touches just eluded me. I did have to take a step back a do a rethink on my writing method for this story after some of the comments I received, but in the end I have decided not to alter my plan. A lot of you seem to like how I am writing this fic, despite the difficult subject matter, and I am very grateful and humbled for all the positive encouragement I have received through reviews. I have received some comments that things are moving too slowly, but at the same time I have received positive feedback on the suspense aspect that I am quite deliberately trying to build. All I can say is that I'm really not sure how to properly do one without the other. This fic is a departure for me and it came about because I really wanted to try something very different and see if I could delve more deeply into the suspenseful aspect of the characters feeling and emotions in a very emotionally fraught situation. So all I can say is I know my method for this fic has been different but I just ask and appreciate those who are hanging in there for the ride with me. I am just learning and experiencing as I go like everyone else. :-)

LSLSLS

"What!?" Ok, that was it. He thought he had done pretty well but there was no way he could stay seated through this now. He was up and moving, pacing back and forth along a short invisible line as he spoke his next question. Her words had been clear enough, but he was still finding it difficult to completely process them.

"Rachel, please tell me I didn't just hear you right."

"I think you already know you did." She followed him with her eyes as he continued to pace agitatedly.

He kept going for several long moments, trying to get the need to move, to act, out of his system. Eventually he stopped and made his way back over to his seat. He sat, deliberately and with no small amount of effort, trying to portray a façade of, if not calm, then at least control.

He was semi successful at it, his jerky movements had at least ceased, that helped a lot to give off the impression that he was not nearly as internally aggravated as she knew he truly was.

"How?" Was his next, still anguish intoned, question.

"I just explained how…"

"Rachel..." Her name was said in an obvious warning tone. The meaning was clear. He was not remotely in the mood to deal with false obtuseness, especially in this serious matter. Looking at her it was clear she got the message loud and clear. Her shoulders slumped, a look of resignation crossed her features and she began to speak.

"If you mean how did she get pregnant? I have been both questioning that and cursing myself about that for the last two days."

"That was when she found out?" He was unfortunately getting the distinct impression that he was going to have to settle in for the long haul yet again, this confusing situation they now found themselves in did not seem like it had a simple answer. And as he thought that he was reminded of her warning that he was not going to get all the answers, because these two women didn't have them either. He hoped this was not going to be one of those times.

"Yes. She came to me, worried that it could be a possibility. I told her it wasn't! That she couldn't be! Just like I told her at the time. She was on birth control, just like the rest of the woman on this ship are…while it last's that is… But right back at the beginning we clearly identified that it wasn't even the right time anyway…there should have been no risk for her! I told her there wasn't! It was my fault that more foolproof precautions weren't implemented."

"So you advised her against them? Why? We do have those precautions on this ship for just such unfortunate situations as these…" He'd thankfully never had to authorize the use of them on his ship before, nothing like this had ever happened before…of course now he was forced to add, that he knew about.

"No…yes...I mean no, not really. I didn't recommend against it. I didn't, but I told her the truth as I thought it to be. That the risk was virtually nil, but that I would get it for her if she wanted it… However, I unfortunately did have to warn her…given her distress at the prospect… that I had no way of getting what she needed without alerting Dr. Rios…and thus you…to what was going on. And well, you saw what she was like at that prospect a month down the line. I think you can pretty accurately imagine how well she reacted to that prospect back then and what decision she made because of it."

"So this is my fault?" Her fear of him knowing had prevented her from getting the help she needed.

"Tom, this is Amy Granderson and the inhuman swine that helped her to do this to her's fault. You knew nothing. You cannot be at fault in this. I, on the other hand did know, and clearly could have handled things a lot better."

She was angry at herself for her part in this, that was clear. Tom didn't want her to take the blame for this either. This was a highly fraught situation form the start. One that they were always doomed to never handle perfectly, because such a thing wasn't possible.

"It sounds like you gave her the facts and her options as you saw them a the time, Rachel. She made her own decisions…you just respected them." He didn't have to add that the he really wished she hadn't, he didn't need too.

Once again silence reigned for a time. Both lost in painful contemplation of the worse kind…the 'what if's'. Tom was the first to break the silence, his contemplations making him so angry the dam to his silence burst abruptly.

"Goddammit! I just can't get over the fact that it was her Mother! Her own Mother who was the one in charge! Do you think she knew about this? That she had any direct hand in it? Surely this would have been going to far even for her…

"Unfortunately it does not seem so. That was one thing that Alisha was pretty clear on in her somewhat abbreviated retelling of events to me. The…man…in question spoke to her…it was probably more like gloating… But he told her that Mrs. Granderson herself selected him for her. Apparently from the way he spoke it was supposedly some kind of honor…"

This was all too much for Tom. "But why on earth? How is something like that even possible for a mother…"

Rachel contemplated the anguished man before her. She understood his shock and disbelieve. She would have had trouble reconciling events herself…if she hadn't lived them…was still living them. Rachel disagreed with none of Tom's sentiments. But the extra time to absorb the facts as they stood had infused her to a kind of numbness to them. A defense mechanism she supposed…

"I honestly don't know for certain, Tom. Probably all we are ever going to be able to do is speculate as to her true motives. Personally, I think she was playing physiological games with both of us, and that the events of that night were her first move. One of her obvious goals with me would have been to get me under her control to force me to make the vaccine." Not that it would have ever worked, she added silently…but still stubbornly.

"Her motives in regard to Alisha are a lot less clear…I obviously can't imagine she was trying to foster a closer mother daughter relationship. My best guess…with recent developments…is that she had already written Alisha off…but was still happy to use her for achieve her own ends."

Tom was looking at her weird now, obviously confused but curious as to what the hell those ends could have possible been. One trauma at a time. Rachel pressed ahead before he could utter the query that was clearly on his lips.

"There is something else…I very much hate to say it, but I think that Alisha's orientation, something that…Surprise surprise…her mother rather heavily disapproved of, quite likely contributed to what happened…and especially the way it happened."

She could tell by his face that he either wasn't quite following her…or maybe he just hoped he wasn't following her. She proceeded to explain.

"It's called corrective rape…terrible term that it is. It is when someone is deliberately assaulted by a person of a gender contrary to his or her orientation...for the reason of that contrary orientation. I unfortunately saw, and heard about, a lot of it when I worked in Africa."

"Goddamn it!...And her own mother had that done to her? Deliberately?!" Words just couldn't convey his true outrage. He was very much fighting that urge to pace again.

"Like I said, I have not proof, nor any way of ever truly knowing for certain. But based on the horrific facts we do know, it seems a likely possibility. And that is exactly what I think Alisha has most been most struggling with these last weeks. She's a solider, and a good one. I think if something like this had unfortunately happened in more predictable in the line of duty circumstances, I don't think she would have been hit nearly as hard. Deeply affected, yes; rendered completely emotionally incapacitated, no. It was her mother's part in all this that has caused this severe reaction. For her very personal betrayal and assault…and for everything else the woman was responsible for…I mean let's face it, finding out your own flesh and blood is this generation's Hitler is probably plenty to push a person over the edge all by itself…and to say that that revelation was even further compounded would be an understatement. It's just been too much for Alisha to process…. And I think that could be held true for anyone one of us if we were in her uniquely tragic situation."

Tom considered what said, it was unfortunately all too true. Of course it wasn't like he had been making judgments about the young lieutenant's handling of this…even before he knew how bad the situation really was for her personally. But now he realized it might be a very long time before they got the bright young woman they all knew before all this back…if they ever did at all.

But still left on the table between them were the 'how's' and the 'what the hell now's'.

"Rachel, do you not have any thoughts on how she could have been left in this situation…against such odds? Were you wrong about anything you told her? About the odds? With the benefit of hindsight did you make a mistake that explains this…" He had to ask the question. Based on his own experience with her as a doctor, he thought it was pretty damn unlikely that this was the result of her mistake. She was the one that got things right…when everyone else was getting them wrong. He didn't need to offer examples for his case, they were notable and numerous.

"Again, yes and no, obviously the chances of her getting pregnant were not nil…evidently. But I didn't have the information to know that at the time, no one did…well no one on this ship anyway."

"What do you mean?"

Rachel took a deep steadying breath. Gathering ever shred of her nerve that still stayed with her after this fraught conversation. Where was his silent offer of physical support when she needed it? She knew where. He was having enough trouble just calming himself, let alone her.

But this was it. With what she had to tell him now, there was a bloody high chance of his analytical mind making a correct connection and asking an uncomfortably insightful question of her…and she was dreading it.

"As I said, I have been racking my brain for the last two days, about how this could have happened, about how I could have got it so wrong. And well…now…after further development and consideration, I am fairly sure the answer must be that mystery injection that Alisha received. We didn't know what it was at the time. But it would have had to have a purpose. That is for sure. There was nothing that Amy Granderson did without a specific end goal in mind…and I now think that her specific end goal was for Alisha to get pregnant. I think that was the main goal all along. I believe the contents of that syringe was a highly effective fertility drug. I have never before seen or heard of anything like it, nothing that is so very effective and so very fast acting…but it is the only explanation that I think makes sense at this stage."

She could see he was considering her words…too well. Possibly making deductions she wasn't ready for him to make yet…perhaps ever. She continued hurriedly before he could interrupt. She wanted to explain what she could before Tom had the chance to force their conversation to take a different, and more personal, direction.

"It does make some sense when you think about it. It wasn't like they could have whipped up what ever that drug was out of nothing, especially given the global circumstances. But that lab they commandeered, it was a medical research lab, this stuff could have been just sitting there for them to find. A lot of people don't realize that not even a fraction of the drugs that are developed annually ever actually reach the market. They have to go through a massive amount of rigorous quality and safety checks, it takes a long time and many still don't make the cut. I can only imagine that this drug was probably one of them. If that's the case I can certainly see why the scientist kept it around, kept trying to perfect it, it's obviously very effective at its main purpose…I can only hope that whatever reason it was probably rejected was not, either too bad or too common a side effect…for Alicia's sake."

"And yours." His rough voice interrupted in a hard and meaningful tone.

"Sorry?" She tried confusion to answer him, more out of panic then any actually decision to be so pointlessly obtuse.

"For your sake too. You told you were given than drug too. Both of you were."

He annunciated each word clearly, particular inflection on those that referenced her. The meaning behind the action was clear also, it was her he wanted to know about. His face was hard and yet she could see the cracks in its façade that threatened to expose the true feelings he held underneath. They seemed to be being held back by the thinnest of masks. She felt sure anger was one of them, anger at her too. It scared her a little, she knew he would never hurt her, but he could think less of her…and that was something that scared her more than anything.

"Umm…" She knew what he was saying; she just couldn't find the words to respond.

"Rachel, you're not being completely honest with me again…" He spoke in a warning tone comprised of solid steel.

"I am..." She spoke defensively and in a rush. He interrupted her.

"You're not openly lying to my face, Rachel. That's not the same as being completely honest…which is what you promised me." He had modified his tone a little, but his unwillingness to accept anything but brutal honesty from her was still painfully clear.

Silence. Guilt. Resignation…

"Yes, yes, I know." She spoke softly, eyes downcast.

Tom looked at her then, really looked at her. Yes, there was more… Yes, it involved her… And if it also involved her being injected with the fertility drug...

No, it couldn't be. She had absolutely sworn to him that nothing like that had happened to her. Even if she had been given the drug…it wouldn't have had that affect without…other ingredients.

Of course if Rachel superstition about the drug was correct, the very fact she had been given it in the first place, indicated pretty strongly that Granderson did plan too… But she couldn't have, she didn't have time. Rachel had sworn it, and she wouldn't lie to his face like that… Omit, yes. Lie, no. At least he hoped… Though he was struggling to think of other explanations for her current state.

Ok, Tom thought, the time was now. If left to her own devices she could stall this forever…weather she intended too or not. Tom sat forward again in his chair, and once again reached forward to take her hands, he held them carefully and reverently in each of his and with a mustered façade of calm, that he absolutely did not actually feel, he spoke.

"Rachel, what is it? There is clearly something more. It is clearly big, and it clearly involves you, specifically, you. Tell me what it is, just say it…please."

The man could read her so well. Of course it would have been impossible for his sharp mind to miss the clues…she would bet the truth had already occurred to him…he just didn't want to face it. And without all the facts…something even she was missing, something she hoped he actually believed…. he could have easily discounted his theories as ones that could not possibly be true. But they unfortunately were… She took a deep breath in, let it out slowly, met his eyes solemnly…and told him the stark truth.

"I'm pregnant too…"

TBC

A/N: No, I'm not actually trying to kill anyone (you know who you are ;-P ) The next chapter is almost done, will endeavor to post within the next couple of days.