So I will acknowledge that I am the worst and a liar. I have not been updating every week. It has been like 3 months. I apologize.

I will not bore everyone with a long explanation of my absence. But I will say that I have a pretty stress free week at work coming up and then a 2 week holiday break! I already have the next chapter outlined so it should be up shortly.

But, I felt so guilty every time I saw a follow or a favorite on this story that I am posting this chapter without my beta looking at it so I apologize for any grammar/spelling mistakes.

Also this chapter I hope is not confusing. It takes place starting the same night Johnny is beat up by Tim (so where the other one left off), but as the night goes on the POV changes. I hope that makes sense.

Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders.

Dallas was almost at the top of the stairs at Buck's. Almost to the bed, he reminded himself, as he tiredly dragged his feet up the last creaking steps.

Dally opened his bedroom door and was just about to hop into the bed fully dressed when he noticed someone already sleeping there. It was Darry. Dallas would normally have been irritated, given how tired he was, but not tonight. Despite everything else that happened that night, he just couldn't get mad right then.

Darry had one leg stretched out straight and the other had a bend at the knee. He had both his hands under the pillow and was fast asleep on his stomach. He looked like a child. Dally laughed inwardly. The oldest Curtis was a big guy and always seemed a lot older than he really was. But sleeping, his body language gave his real age away. Maybe he even looked younger. Dally cocked his head to the side a bit and wondered if Darry would look like that all the time if things had been different. Maybe if things hadn't turned out how they did he would have been away at college right now. He would have been a sophomore? A junior? Dallas wasn't sure. He didn't know anything about college really. Maybe Darry's only worries would have been touchdowns and girls. Hell, maybe with or without college, had the Curtis family been at least a middle class family, Darry could still have been this relaxed all the time. But Darry wasn't in college and the Curtis family wasn't middle class or even close to it. As Darry started to stir, and his eyes started to open, the bags that were instantly visible and not deterred by the recent nap, made that apparent.

"Dal?" questioned a sleepy Darry.

"Who else? It's my room," replied Dally gruffly, putting his thumbs through his belt loops and shifting his weight to one side.

"Sorry man" mumbled Darry, as he started to get off the bed.

Dally shook his head, "Ya ain't gotta move. I wasn't gonna throw ya out."

Darry sat back down and rubbed his tired looking eyes red.

"You know what happened with Tim?"

Dally sat down in a chair and pulled out a cigarette from a pack in his back pocket. He lit it up slowly before answering. "Nah, not really. We was downtown. I left him alone for just a second with Wayne and some creep. Then I come back and Tim is pounding on Johnny, man. He said he had been messin' with his money!"

"Money?" asked Darry in surprise.

"I don't know, man. That's what he said." Dally took a quick drag.

Darry shook his head wearily. "I just worry about those two, they are good in a rumble but they ain't that big and they just…just seem to attract trouble."

"Aw Dar, you ain't worried bout the rest of the gang?" Dally mocked darkly, knowing "those two" meant Johnny and Ponyboy.

Darry gave weak but genuine laugh. "I worry about all of ya'll. Hell, I worry bout me too, but I think the rest of us can handle ourselves. Pony don't know how to use his head at all and Johnny…I just hate to see Johnny get hurt more."

Dally took a long drag from his cigarette. "I'm gonna straighten Tim out."

"Dal-"

"I went back to look for him tonight. Couldn't find him. I cornered one of his boys though, he said they all gonna be at the drag race on Saturday. But if I see him before that, he's gonna get it."

"Dal please don't do anythin' to get yourself back in the cooler," sighed Darry heavily.

"Hey. Nobody's goin' in the cooler. But Johnny ain't messin' wit' Tim's money, I know that. And I ain't gonna let that grease slide."

Darry laughed weakly, "Yeah, must've been a misunderstanding or somethin'."

"To hell with any misunderstandin'; he ain't pounded on Johnny like that. " Dallas slammed his fist on his armrest, looking off into the room with a furious expression.

Darry stood up to leave; a small smirk crawled onto his face. "I know Dally, I know,'" said Darry in almost a whisper, giving Dallas a quick hand on the shoulder before exiting the room.

"No falling asleep at the wheel," called Dally without looking.

It was almost uncomfortably hot. Emma opened her eyes. She was lying by a hotel pool…but this couldn't be Tulsa, she thought. The scenery around the hotel was a desert. I must be in Nevada, but why? Emma questioned. She looked down. She was wearing a bathing suit and a body she hadn't had since age 13 or 14. Next to her was another surprise. Isabella was sprawled out wearing a bathing suit and oversized sunglasses, looking no older than the day they first met. She was surprised to find herself here of all places, but she couldn't force herself to panic. It was too beautiful here. It was calm and serene. The lighting was to die for. Everything was awash in a golden late afternoon glow. The pool looked so inviting.

She edged up to the diving board. Isabella stayed behind. She felt anxious at first. What if the water is freezing? She tiptoed around a moment then went for it. The water was so perfectly refreshing that she actually laughed aloud. She swam over to the shallower end and lied on her back. The sun beamed down on her front and the edges of the cool water tickled her sides and her ears. She was looking directly into the sun.

"I know it's a dream now", she said aloud to herself. In real life you can't look right into the sun without getting hurt, but it sure was beautiful.

A sound broke Emma from her fixation on the sun. She looked up at the diving board again and there was Johnny. But it wasn't the sixteen-year-old Johnny she knew. This Johnny must have been nine or ten. She never knew him at that age though. He looked just like himself only smaller and with ungreased hair. He looked too scared to jump. His large black eyes shone with fear and hesitation.

"Come on!" called Emma, "the water is perfect!" She looked out on the water again. It was crystal clear blue and the waves her body made sparkled in the sunlight.

"Don't make me come up there and push you!" she joked. Johnny cracked a smile. He looked a little surer of himself. His chest puffed out and he stretched his skinny, brown arms out as he step up onto the board.

"Come on!" she encouraged one last time. He smiled really big at her. Emma wasn't sure she had ever seen that smile before. He started to jump and at the last moment Emma feared he might hurt himself, "don't belly flop!" she warned.

She didn't see what happened, but all of a sudden, there was a splash. She was blinded by the water momentarily. But this water wasn't like the water before; this water was freezing. She looked up again, but there was no Johnny. Emma spun all around in the pool, but he was nowhere to be found. She looked up at Isabella who was now sitting up looking at a magazine. She called for help but Isabella didn't respond, or even seem to hear her. She wasn't moving. She looked paler than before. She looked frozen. All of a sudden, the pool water around her turned icy. She started shivering. It felt cold everywhere, even inside her body. She started shaking harder and harder…

Emma Leah woke up in the middle of the night with a start. She sat straight up in bed and was breathing heavily. As her eyes adjusted to the dark, she scanned her room, mildly surprised to be back in her Tulsa apartment. She told herself "it was only a dream," and as exhaustion overcame her, she went back to sleep.

Johnny couldn't sleep. He kept waking up; his mind kept racing. When Ponyboy mentioned the weekend he had been gone, he remembered why Jeff had been so familiar. Johnny had just moved in with Emma and he hadn't been able to get back to his house for any things. He needed a lot of stuff. Emma had offered to buy some and he had let her get him a few things, but he would need more than that and wanted to be able to contribute to at least the grocery bill. He needed a lot of money fast. He had left school that Friday. He didn't ask Pony to come because Pony wasn't stupid like him. Pony needed and wanted to be at school. He didn't want Emma to see him cutting so he went downtown near the river. That is where he ran into Tim.

"Where's Dallas?" Tim called to Johnny, making his way over.

"I ain't seen 'em. I was at school."

"You still in school?" Tim asked, slapping a hand on his back.

Johnny smirked a little and putting his fists into his pockets replied, "Sometimes."

Tim laughed. But his laughs were more like barks. "I guess sometimes is better than no times."

The wind picked up and Johnny turned the collar of his jean jacket up.

"I heard about your mom," Tim said a little lower.

Johnny looked out at the river.

"Yeah," he turned back to Tim who was now offering him a cigarette. Johnny lit up quickly as the wind howled more and he started to shiver.

"Your dad still around?"

"Yeah, but I don't stay with him. I'm stayin' with my cousin closer to downtown."

"Downtown? Guess we are like neighbors now."

"Yeah I guess so," Johnny laughed half-heartedly.

Tim took a long drag of his cigarette, "So who is this cousin?"

"She just moved back here, I don't think you would know her…"

"She?" Tim's eyes lit up, "She cute?"

"Hey."

Tim gave a bark laugh again and put his hands up, "Alright, Alright. I'm just messin'. But seriously man, you alright? You need anythin'?"

Johnny looked down at his shoes and pushed some rocks around with his toe. Tim eyed him for a moment until realization dawned on him.

"You know, I got some stuff goin' on this weekend. I was lookin' for Dallas to help me out, but if you wanted to help out instead..."

Johnny became attentive at once, "What kinda stuff?" he questioned.

Tim took a step back, flicking his cigarette bud on the ground. "Just some stuff, got some merchandise, gotta move some things around. Not too hard, just need man-power. You could make some fast money," Tim said, catching Johnny's eye again.

Johnny didn't even need to respond. Tim could see the desperation and agreement written all over his face.

Just like that, Tim had Johnny working for him the whole weekend. He even had him sleeping at an apartment he stayed at sometimes downtown. But Johnny had no complaints about sleeping on the floor or about handling stolen merchandise. He was getting paid. But while he could see the logic in his choices, he was not about to talk to anyone in the gang about it and was just praying that Dallas wouldn't show up.

Emma's head was killing her. She felt hungover, but she didn't remember drinking anything. Her arms were folded on a table and her head was resting on top of them. Something tickled her arm and she looked up. It was a fly. She looked around. She was in a kitchen that looked vaguely like the one at her parents house but dingier. The cabinets were missing some knobs and some of the doors hung down. The once white sink was yellowing and the knobs were rusted over. There were half empty booze bottles everywhere. There were some on the table too that she hadn't noticed before.

She got up and almost fell over from unsteadiness. Her ears rang. She felt terrible. She moved into the next room, apparently a living room. This one looked vaguely like her apartment's living room, but very cluttered and with a large mirror on the wall. She walked over to it and was instantly horrified. She looked as terrible as she felt. Her hair was in rollers with pieces sticking out everywhere. She was in an old nightgown and tattered pink bathrobe. She had unfortunate bags under her eyes and unforgiving wrinkles. Her teeth were even yellow. She started coughing. Her head pounded the harder she coughed. She felt as though she was going to be really sick.

Emma woke up slick with sweat this time. She lunged at the light switch on the other side of the room and ran to her mirror just to make sure it was really a dream. Emma sighed with deep relief when she saw no wrinkles and no pink bathrobe. She glanced at her alarm clock, 6:59 a.m., it read.

Not feeling up to for another dream, Emma decided to make hot chocolate. As she ran the faucet, water splashed up on her. She remembered her first dream, the one where Johnny disappeared. No, that was a dream, she told herself. We are not in Vegas, she told herself for emphasis. She looked over at the hallway. He isn't belly flopping in his room! She wouldn't listen to her mind though. She marched over to his door, opened it only a crack and peered in with a single eyeball. It was completely dark and she could see almost nothing except that it looked suspiciously flat on the bed.

She got a glass of water so that in case he woke up, she would have an excuse to be in his room hovering over him. She was just trying to make sure he stayed hydrated! Tiptoeing in, she felt around on the bed. There was nothing. She dropped the water and ran to the bathroom. He wasn't there either, nor was he outside. Johnny was gone.

Johnny's house didn't look different. It was still ugly, he thought to himself as he stood in front of it. The pink and purple rays of the early morning sun illuminated the wear and tear the place. It wasn't like this once upon a time though. When he was really, really small, he remembered it being nicer. Maybe it was because he didn't know about the other side of town back then.

When he was really young, things weren't as bad as they had been these past few years. His father didn't beat him so bad and his mother didn't flat out ignore him. If they had, he probably wouldn't have lived into his teen years.

It was okay until it wasn't. He remembered the day almost exactly. His parents had been arguing a lot. His dad had been having problems at work...

It was a hot summer in 1958. Johnny had been outside playing that morning with a kid from the neighborhood. They had played hide and seek and Johnny had won because he hid in a tree. Johnny was really good at hiding. But then it got too hot so he went back home in the mid afternoon. His mom made him cereal for lunch. Johnny loved to eat breakfast at times that weren't breakfast time. He didn't really like school and getting to eat breakfast for lunch meant that it was the weekend or summer, where he didn't have to go to school at all. He was sitting at the kitchen table eating cereal with his feet dangling. His mom was fanning herself leisurely by window, listening to the radio. She really liked to listen to the radio, he remembered. His house used to be lively with the constant tunes of the radio. It was how he knew his mother was home. If he ever came home from school to a quiet house, it meant she wasn't there.

He had been just finishing up his cereal and was turning towards the window to ask his mother for more. She furrowed her eyebrows all of a sudden and crossed her arms. She didn't look at him though, her eyes looked as though they were going burn holes in the window glass. Johnny stopped kicking his legs along with the music. "Mommy, what's wrong?" He was worried she was getting into a mood; his parents got into moods sometimes.

Johnny's father answered for him. He walked into the house all of a sudden sheepishly. He was holding his hat in front of him and fiddling with the rim of it. He looked timidly up at his wife. She narrowed her eyes, "What are you doing here?"

Johnny's father looked back down at his hat. "Well, I live here…"

Johnny's mother did not appreciate the shy attempt at humor.

Johnny had heard his parents fight plenty of times; they weren't the model parents or model couple by any stretch of the imagination. But the fighting had intensified in the months leading up to that summer afternoon. And the fight they had in that kitchen would mimic the fights they had until his mother's death. It was loud and cruel in a way that it had never been before. Johnny's father had lost his job and his mother was livid. Johnny had never seen his parents fight like this. His mother screeched and made these horrible facial expressions dripping with disgust. His father's eyes were cold and loveless. He started to grow reckless. His mother antagonized him about how they were going to put food on the table and his father knocked Johnny's bowl of milk onto the floor. He pulled Johnny's mother by the hair and tried to force her face into the milk puddle on the floor, yelling at her to clean it up. She screamed so loud Johnny was sure everyone on the street heard it. He ran and hid in his closet. He had never been so scared to even be in his own house. He was even more scared of what his dad would do to him if he found him in the closet while still in that violent state. But no one came looking for him.

That was the day their house broke and became so ugly and vile.

After the fight Johnny's dad went out for booze, he didn't come back until really late and slept on the couch. That was what he did for the next 7 years. He never found steady work and drank constantly. When he wasn't passed out drunk, he was beating the living daylights out of Johnny and his mom. Johnny had been hit as a young kid sure, but it was nothing like times after he lost his job.

A lot of things were lost that day and nothing good was gained. That cereal was the last meal his mother ever made for him. And one day he came home to silence. Outside on the front porch he stood, expecting no one to be home because his mother's radio wasn't playing. But she was home. She was sitting at the kitchen table looking down at some papers. The radio was gone; his dad had sold it. He waited expectantly for his mother to acknowledge that he was home. But she didn't. She never did after that. She was never the mother to greet him with hugs on the front porch when he got home or to cuddle up to him and ask how school had been and did he play with any friends. But Johnny stopped caring if the radio was there or not, his mother's presence and absence became the same.

A ray of sun hit Johnny's eyes and he was snapped out of his memories. He got up close the house and peered in a window. There was his father, Jim Cade, sprawled out on the living room sofa, passed out as usual. With no job and nowhere to be that morning, he would probably be dead to the world until noon. Johnny knew he had to do something about his dad, he just didn't know what yet. He turned away from the house and looked out on street. The sky was pink and orange and purple and blue. And around the sun it seemed actually golden. Johnny's eyes took a peak at the sun directly but it was too bright.

Alright, I swear the next chapter is coming very soon! But you have no reason to believe me at this point. This chapter was a lot of reflection/dreams/flashbacks. The next chapter will be more action.