Chapter 2
Lady looks like a dude
Several minutes later, Marth and Roy witnessed the brown-haired man get dragged off the field by paramedics. Roy looked down, hoping his opponent wouldn't be so tough. Marth's name was called, and the gate opened. He walked out to meet his opponent, Brian.
Brian had a brutally scarred face, a jet black crew cut, and an absurdly muscular body. He wore spiked leather gauntlets, and a chain hung from the hilt of his great sword. He wasn't smiling.
Marth walked toward him casually, swinging his falchion.
"Good morning, my dear dog!" Marth exclaimed, meeting him in the center of the field.
Brian simply frowned and grunted.
The referee(who happened to also be Ed) walked up. "Alright, gentlemen, go ahead and shake."
The two opponents shook hands. Brian's baseball mit size hand dwarfed Marth's.
"I'd like a nice bloody battle, understood? No severing of body parts, but maiming is allowed." The referee backed away, blew his whistle, and booked it toward the gate.
Brian drew his great sword. The two crossed their swords, swung them back, and…Marth waited. Brian heaved his great sword horizontally with a grunt, and Marth back flipped straight up, the sword passing under him. He then brought his hilt down on Brian's head as he was bringing his sword back(it weighed a ton). Brian's eyesight went hazy, and he stumbled back. Recovering, he ran at Marth once again. Prepared for another back flip, he swung upward. It was a big mistake, as Marth never used the same move twice. Instead, Marth ducked, rolled to the side, and thrust at Brian's shin. There was a howl of pain as he removed his Falchion from it. Marth patted Brian on his shaven head as he blacked out from the blood loss, and the paramedics hauled him off.
"Works every time," Marth muttered to himself, grinning and waving at the crowd. He spotted Emily, and blew her a kiss. She waved back. Ganondorf was nowhere in sight though.
What's that cheese bag doing? Marth wondered. He walked back to the gate. He stopped and patted Roy on the shoulder. "I listened to mom. I ATE my veggies." Marth strutted toward the lounge.
Roy smiled and shook his head. "But I ate my beef," he said to himself.
The gate opened, and he walked out to face his robotic looking opponent. He kept a fake confident look.
The humanoid robot appeared to have a cannon of some sort attached to its arm. The robot pressed a few buttons on the cannon, and it retracted. A laser blade replaced it.
Hm, Roy thought. Cuts and cauterizes.
They faced each other in the center of the field, and the referee walked up.
"Sir, would you remove your helmet?" the referee asked.
The robotic one lifted its helmet, revealing a beautiful face and long blond hair.
"I'm sorry…I thought you were a man…" the referee muttered.
She shrugged, then put her helmet back on as though she was used to it.
"Anyway…I want a fairly bloody battle. Cuts, gashes, slices and maiming are allowed. No severing of the limbs or excessive softness. Now go ahead and shake."
Roy put his hand out, but the woman simply stared at it coldly and then backed away.
The referee stepped back, blew his whistle, and ran toward the gate.
The woman got into what looked like a poor melee stance and lowered her laser sword. Roy unsheathed his long sword, and held it almost like a baseball bat, but tipped forward slightly. Their swords clashed, the laser sparking against steel. Roy slashed horizontally, and the adversary actually slapped it away, being covered head to toe in orange armor. She struck with her own sword, brushing it against Roy's shoulder plate. He felt the plate heat up slightly. Realizing it was virtually impossible to pierce her armor, he sheathed his sword and began thinking up other ways to hurt her. They circled each other, and the woman once again clumsily slashed at him, as though she had never used a sword. He easily dodged..
"That armor isn't very fair, you know. How am I supposed to have a chance?" Roy asked, dodging another strike.
"That's the idea," the woman said coldly.
Roy continued to search for a possible weakness. Maybe…he thought. He dove for her ankles, his titanium shoulder pad clanging against them. She fell forward, and he jumped back onto her from the rear to try and take her helmet off. She rolled over and punched him in the face, hard. He held his jaw for a moment, his lip bleeding. He then, with his immense strength, held her arms down. He was on top of her for an awkward moment. Roy reached around her neck with one arm, grabbing her other arm and holding it with his left hand, too. He could feel her sword getting dangerously close to his head. Quickly, with the other hand, he managed to pry her helmet off. She spat in his face, which was very un-ladylike. He was fazed, but managed to throw her helmet far enough away that there was barely a hope of recovering it. She leapt back up, and thrust at him with her sword. She hit, only because he was distracted wiping the spit off of his face, but hit him nonetheless. The laser burned through his shoulder, and he yelled in agony. Fortunately, it cauterized his blood as it went through, so there was no loss. It still hurt, though. She struck again, but Roy caught her arm with his left hand.
"I'm not right handed," Roy said, pulling her toward him and meeting her face with his knee. He hit again, and once more, then pushed her on her heels with a boot to the chest. She was out cold.
Roy was indeed a person you didn't want to let attack you, because when he did hit, it wasn't pretty.
The woman was bleeding out the nose and mouth, and her jaw looked a bit disfigured. It was kind of sad, though. Roy hoped it wouldn't be a permanent loss of her beauty. He smiled, nonetheless, then realized his arm still hurt, and clutched it. The crowd was cheering loudly, and Roy looked for anyone he might know. Marth waved, his arm around Emily. He gave a thumbs up and whistled loudly. Roy smiled again, even wider, and headed back to the gate.