Chapter 5

For the next three days Johanna and I put some distance between ourselves. We still sleep in the same bed, but we don't kiss as much and the amount of depressing and hopelessly romantic songs we play has increased significantly. Johanna has been constantly lost in her own thoughts, so I sit next to her or lay on her lap and pretend I'm not expecting her to kiss me or show any kind of affection towards me. Thankfully she hasn't given up the shower ritual; she's much better at that now, there's still a little bit of fear or hesitation, but she can even get in the shower without me pulling her in!

I seem to be stupid enough to actually get jealous of her with a dead person. Ugh. What's wrong with me? Maybe Gale knows, he felt jealous and knew he would never have a chance with me as long as Peeta was vulnerable and in danger. And it seems like I'm feeling the same thing towards Johanna and her oh-so-eternally-perfect-Elsa (and it's not like I can bring Elsa back and be like "see Jo, she's alright"). Where did I get that from? Johanna barely even talked about her with me after she told me her story. I caught here talking about Elsa with Finnick the day after, but that is completely normal, isn't it? It's like if Annie had been murdered by the Capitol and Finnick tries to get over her. Several years later he gets a lover (a real one, not one he was sold to) who has a high potential of having Annie's same destiny, so he freaks out about it. Then, when he finally opens up about Annie with his new lover, he fully remembers how much he loved her and how he never really stopped loving her. Thus he needs some time to recover and let all those feelings out without hurting his new lover; he would need to talk to a confidential friend: Johanna Mason. Why are my thoughts so tangled, even to myself? That is probably what is happening to Johanna. But why can I tolerate the hypothetical reality of Finnick going through this better than tolerating Johanna, who's actually going through this right now?!

Brrr. I'm starting to agree with Haymitch that I am "a strangely dislikable person." Apparently I was too distracted with hating on a dead angelical person and myself to notice the source of my worries walking right in the room and pacing towards me as if I was her prey. Johanna pushes me against the wall, brutally waking me from my stream of thought or whatever it was I was having. We kiss hungrily, almost reaching the point of aggressiveness. She lets go for me to catch my breath and bites my neck hard right after sniffing it.

"Oh heavens, you drive me crazy Kat." she says with a thick voice. Hmmm. I grin at myself. Apparently, as Haymitch also said, I do have my virtues, and driving Johanna Mason crazy is the best one I can think of right now, that is, if I'm able to think at all with her biting and kissing me so hungrily.

"I thought you were already crazy, Jo." I say trying to provoke her.

"I thought that too. Ugh. I missed you." She whispers softly next to my ear while sliding her hands under my shirt and caressing my stomach. She looks into my eyes seriously, "you understand I need that time right? She was too special and I had no opportunity to say goodbye." I understand. I actually do now.

"Yes Jo, I understand. I was just afraid to lose you for a moment, but then I remembered how bad I was when I was about to lose Peeta and that fear is gone now." Johanna smiles at me gladly and kisses me softly.

"Good, that makes me happy" she says, she kisses me softly and squeezes my abs. My body burns with desire. I want Johanna so much. I miss her too. I want to taste her, I want her to make me senseless, I want to hear her moaning my name. And it feels like it's about to happen. "I really missed you." And then she walks away, sits on her bed and starts picking a song she wants to hear. WHAT?! No no no no no! Come back. I thought- She can't turn me on and then leave like that.

Johanna lays on the bed stretching, completely unaware that I am struggling to keep my body under control. Her shirt goes up with her arms, revealing her lean body. I start drooling as my guts and groin boil with desire. I cement myself against the wall trying to keep control and Johanna groans longingly as she stretches her back. And I launch towards her and quickly pin her on the bed.

"WHA-mmmpf" I shut her exclamation kissing her desperately as if I was a starving girl and had a banquet offered to me. And I was indeed starving, and Johanna indeed was a banquet for me. I run my hands up and down, caressing her stomach under her shirt desperately and grab her breasts maybe too hard. My mind is blurred, my body is lacking self-control, my senses are focusing in my one and only need. I am starving. "Whoa! Whoa! Easy, girl on fire! Easy!" Johanna says, finally breaking away from the shock of been literally attacked as pushes me away and holds me in my place. I groan frustrated and try to get a grip of her shirt.

"Calm down girl, calm down. I'm not running away from you, ok?" I nod and start to calm down. "I just need a bit of time. Things might get really bad in the blink of an eye, but they don't get better from the second I talked to you to the moment I sat on my bed, ok brainless? I miss you and I want you, but you gotta give me my space and time."

I nod and lean towards her. When she notices I'm calm and not trying to attack her again she hugs me. I bury my face on her chest and start crying.

"Oh, babe. Shhh babe, shh" Johanna holds me tighter and rocks me lightly as she caresses my back.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I mumble against her skin. "I was afraid. I thought I'd lost you." to a dead person. But now she's here with me and I couldn't be better. I take in her scent and start kissing the gap between her breasts and bite her. After A LOT of foreplaying I finally get what I wanted.

My body burns with every touch. My mind goes beyond the world as Johanna sways my body with hers. My heart explodes with her everything overwhelming me. I've probably never been so needy and desperate and sensitive to get so worked up so rapidly. At the end, I was screaming her name, almost reaping the bed sheets and arching my back, pushing myself against her so hard that Coin will probably give me some kind of punishment or warning for disturbing reflection time.

"Looks like someone was in great need of… me" Johanna says when she finishes kissing her way back up to lay besides me. "Never had you come so hard." I blush at the comment and kiss her, smiling.

"Well, I did say I missed you a lot." I trail off as I slide my hand under her shirt. For some reason Johanna was still dressed.

"Umm, no, you didn't." She says moving my hand away from under her shirt.

"What? Yes I did." I say indignant that she was pulling me away and denying the fact that I missed her AT THE SAME TIME, IN THE SAME FUCKING SENTENCE.

"No, Katniss, you didn't. You said you were afraid of losing me. You never said you missed me." And it dawns in me. I never said I missed her. I said it to myself, but never out loud. Ugh. And it frustrates me. I lean in and kiss her and attempt to get under her shirt again, but again she stops me. "No, Kat. I told you. I need my space and time." she says pulling me down.

"But you—"

"No Katniss. I know. I'm good. I don't need it now. I'm satisfied with you screaming my name way too loud and I need no more than time, ok? I miss you and you got me worked up already." she says, finishing with a wink. "Just need some sleep. Haven't had a good sleep for some days."

And again we sleep. I try to object and stay awake as some kind of protest or rebellious act, but Johanna did a pretty darn good job at showing how much she missed me and I was too exhausted to keep myself awake. Before I even noticed it, I slipped away to my dream land with Johanna caressing my hair and whispering soft, sweet words to me.

A/N: Hey guys! This is my shortest chapter, but I plan the next one to be longer. Thank you for reading and reviewing, it's very important to me. I love you guys for it.

Please, keep on reviewing.