I only own my own OCs and all the things they mess up, destroy, or conflicts between ideals, mine or yours. I hope you like my story, and please review!

~Zack's POV~

Holy. Shit. Some miscalculation, some missed variable. We weren't in Middle Earth, I hadn't almost been eaten, and I hadn't just seen Summer fight like Sarah Palmer from Halo. I shook my head and curled into the fatal position. This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening! I tried to scream, but nothing came out. I tried to breath, but it wasn't working. I finally took a deep breath, and managed to say, "Paper bag." Alex bent down next to me and gently said, "Sorry, I don't have one. Just breathe. Don't worry. We'll get out of here." Summer cut in, "Um, not to be the dead fish, but a ton of rocks just cut off our way home." I insisted, "We'll find a way! Maybe... maybe we can get some answers in Hobbiton. We can stay at the Green Dragon."

I sat up and eyes closed, said, "But they'd notice five, modernly dressed teenagers." "Actually..." Leira's voice broke my terror. "We don't have our clothes on anymore." That sounded so wrong, I opened my eyes and asked, "What?" And she wasn't wearing her clothes. She looked like she'd gone on a medieval shopping spree. A sky blue single-sleeved top and a sky blue, skin-tight shorts that stopped just above her knees, and black flat shoes. Her long hair was in elaborate curls, pulled to the back of her head. A sword hung on her belt in a silver sheath, and a hunting knife strapped to the inside of her sea blue cloak. Alex and Summer were dressed crazily too, but Gabe's outfit drew attention.

Gold long-sleeved shirt with golden chains, a gold man skirt with a leather belt, and brown leather boots. Two mauls (long-handled war hammers) hung on his belt, and his sunglasses were gone, and a sun gold cloak hung on his shoulders. But I looked worse. I was completely in red, dressed the same as Gabe, except a chain-mace was on my belt. How I was sitting on something attached to my neck was inconceivable, but I had bigger problems than choking. I shakily stood, and I spoke with a voice just as shaky. "So... we go to Hobbiton?" Leira nodded, and I felt a bit reassured; she wasn't panicking at least. I realized I wasn't breathing again, and quickly sucked in a huge breath, let it out, and repeated the process.

A sudden boom from behind, and I whipped around, seeing dust cascade from the broken doorway. Gabe said, "Guys, I don't want to meet that thing again! Let's ditch!" Before waiting for an answer, he ran off, and Alex raced after him, yelling and cursing at him. Summer ran after across the plain, but I froze again. 'No. No more beasts. Just stop it all. I can't take it. Must be a logical explanation. A variable, a clue, something I overlooked. Maybe I'm dead.' Leira was tugging on my arm, but whatever she was saying was lost in my terror. I couldn't do it. I couldn't move. The thought of those open jaws just over my head, ready to snap me in half like a toothpick. Another wave of dust fell.

In a minute, it would be back, trying to make me its lunch. Leira's words suddenly broke through my fear. "Please! Move it, nerd, or you're going to end up as lunch! Come on, Zack, you've got to move!" I felt my muscles ease, and I ran as quickly as I could, which was as fast a fat goat, as Summer'd say. We ran, Leira easily outpacing me, and with a huge crash, I heard the stones give way, and the roar of an angry animal. In my terror, I doubled my speed, and didn't stop until we'd arrived in Hobbiton, at the Green Dragon Inn. I stuttered, "I... I don't see the others. They... w-w-would've met us back h-here."

Leira slapped me and said, "Get a grip. They're probably just lost in the Shire. It's not like it's a dangerous place." I muttered, "Yeah, that thing that almost ate me wasn't dangerous at all." She glared at me, but I realized; she was just as worried as I was. Then again, she'd always been protective of Summer since they'd lost their parents. After how they died... I shuddered. I couldn't blame Leira for being worried. We heard the door slam, and I whipped around to see if it was them. But it was only a hobbit. I'd always been fairly short, but this guy was tiny. Ruffled brown hair and feet big enough to fit Sasquatch, he was the most inproportionate homo sapien, or human like, creature I'd ever seen.

I asked Leira, "Is that Bilbo?" "No, you dolt. Bilbo never leaves... his house..." She cuts off, and suddenly runs up to the hobbit. "Where is Bilbo Baggins?" He, startled, said, "In Bag End, as he always is." "How old is he?" When the hobbit didn't answer, she grabbed him by the shoulders and shock him. "How old is he, you idiotic midget?" The bartender called, "Oy! No rough-housin'!" I power-walked over to him and said, "Sorry about her. She's..." I lowered my voice so Leira wouldn't hear, "a bit slight in the brain. She won't hurt him, though. Just asks random questions about random people she hears about. Well... would we be able to rent a room with this?"

I reached for the pocket of my jeans for some loose change; then remembered the switch in wardrobe. I stuttered, "Uh, we could help out in the bar. I can clean, Leira can... probably cook." The bartender sighed and said, "Fine. But call your mentally challenged friend off. An you'd best not make trouble for me." I assured him, "Of course we won't." "What did you call me, you pus-filled maggot?" Great. Just got us jobs, and she'd already picked a fight with a customer. I turned to see Leira tackle a now very sorry hobbit, and I turned back to the bartender and said, "Um, forget I said anything. Leira!"

~Time Skip~

"You're lucky I could scrape us a room after you attacked Hamfast. He's what, fifteen?" We were in the Ivy Bush, and after a few hours of cleaning glasses, sweeping, and wiping, we were finally done for the night. The room wasn't much; two small beds, an bathroom, and a small trunk at the foot of each bed. Leira hotly replied, "He provoked me! Did you expect me to let him get away with that?" "He said you weren't like most he saw! How is that an insult?" She glared at me and growled, "Sounds like your insulting me now." I hung my head a groaned; sometimes I missed my time alone in Porta. Wait. Porta.

"Porta!" Leira looked at me like I was contagious disease. "Um, did some of those broken tankards cut your brain. Porta is on the other side of a dog creature, a ton of rocks, and, assuming Summer was right, no real way back under the waterfall." I shook my head and said, "That's not what I meant. Porta is 'gateway to.' It's never made sense vefore, but now, we've passed through a gateway to Middle Earth!" Leira looked at me the same way and said, "Yep, definately broke something." I hissed, "Don't you get it? The waterfall is the gateway. Porta means 'gateway to.' You think those aren't connected?" She seemed slightly swayed, but only replied, "We can talk in the morning. Then, we'll figure something out."