Chapter 3- Do you know what it's like when you're not who you want to be? Do you know what it's like to be your own worst enemy?
"Hey where are you going?" I turned to see them all staring at me it was really awkward having them all stare at me.
"Um...Well kind of need to go home." Then I saw Trent get up, and run towards me like a bull charging for the kill. I wasn't really sure where my feet were taking me as long as it was away from him.
I ran for dear life, and then jumped into Salin's arms. He smiled at me which of course made me blush, then I heard Trent growled I ducked my head down tell I was basically buried my head in his neck. I felt him shiver then grow warm like he was blushing. At the moment I did not care what he was doing, as long as he was saving me
"It's ok now he can't hurt you."He cooed at me I felt another blush coming on. I climbed down.
"You know we've been in the rain for about 35 minutes." I looked to Sam. "I need to go." I ran like the wind not turning back.
Sideswipe Pov:
When Alexis had stopped screaming she looked at me. Her eyes were a beautiful hazelnut color. Her perfect lips that I just wanted to kiss, why was I so afraid. No heres a better question why is my spark doing flips for her.
I was terrified when she fell back to the ground. Then Mikky had told me I had to give her mouth to mouth. I had felt like I offlined then came back, my spark literally stopped. Then she shot up, not liking the idea of mouth to mouth.
I was disappointed I oddly really wanted to kiss her, these urges better go away. It was odd how I was nervous to meet her, then i met her know I want to kiss her. I just meet her, and there's this strange pull. I had acted as a teenager in that human learning facility.
Everytime I saw her I had became hot and bothered. It was like my body was begging for an overload. I shook my head out of thought not really paying attention to what the others were saying. Then I noticed Alexis wasn't there.
I called her so she could come back. Primus she makes me so hot. Then that Trent guy that hurt my femme tried to attack her again. Key word he tried. She had ran into my arms I smiled at the thought she came to me for protection.
Then that so called mech growled at her I had officially had enough of him. I pulled my hand free then knocked the guy upside his thick helm. Prowl will kill me for this, but oh well. I cooed to Alexis that she was ok. I did like the way she buried her head in my neck. Sam had said we had been in the rain for about 35 earth minutes.
Then Alexis said she had to go, she seemed scared of something. Then she ran down the street, and away from us. "I got to go guys." I tolded Bee and them. Then I deactivated my holoform, and drove after her. I didn't want her walking home after hitting her head.
I pulled up beside her. "Hey there what you doing?" Smooth move she's going home I felt really stupid for that one I thought to myself. She looked at me then raised a brow she giggled. I smiled that's a good sign.
"I mean I know what you are doing I mean can I take you?" Her eyes widened in horror. I slapped myself in the face then groaned that sounded so wrong.
She started laughing at me. I shook my head stupid awkwardness, "Can I start over?" She giggled again then nodded. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves, why am I so nerves a better question why am I doing this. "Can I drive you home it's raining, and you did hit your head pretty hard."
That time was much better. "I don't know Salin, I don't really know you, and I was taught not to get rides from strangers." I couldn't tell if she was playing around or not, "Call me SIdes or Sideswipe and how about I just follow you home..No wait that sounded wrong like before. I mean just to make sure you get home safe."
"You can give me a ride when I get to know you better." I sighed, but nodded. Then I speed down the street as I drove the best idea ever came to me. All I had to do was get a bunch of sticky notes, and find her house.
Normal POV
I had finally made it home the whole time thinking of Salin. I don't know why, it was strange I don't think about I looked in the driveway my fathers car was there that meant he was home.
I mentally cringe thinking about what he might do to me. I was about to unlock the door when it swung open with my father standing in the doorway.
"And where were you at?" He snarled at me.
"I...I was.. um at school." I ran past him wanting just to get to my room where it was safe. When I opened the door I stood there my mouth wide open not caring my father was coming after me,
"How dare you- What is this." I looked at my room, my eyes sparked with delight, there were different shapes, and color sticky notes covering everything in my room.
"I don't know," He growled then slapped me across my face,
"You little liar". I was so amazed at my room. The sting from the slap didn't restore right. He slammed my door shut.
I picked up a few sticky notes the first one said 'I work on a military base'. I cocked my head.
The next one said, "I splashed a girl with water while I was on patrol' "Sideswipe," I whispered.
The next one said, 'She wanted to get to know me before I drove her home.' I shook my head.
The last one in my hand said 'I met a girl in the rain, when I saw her I knew.' I laid on my bed reading that one over and over in my head. What did he mean by 'I knew'.
"I knew what?"
3 months later
I was used to doing things with Sides now, he loved the attention I gave him. My father doesn't know about him, he doesn't know about my father that is a good thing, it's starting to get really hard hiding my marks and scars from my beatings.
I sat in my room minding my own business, when my father stormed in my room, I jumped off my bed so fast. "Who's the boy!?" I looked at my father hesitantly.. "I….I..I...I don't know what you're ta..ta...talking about," my father snarled at me.
I yelped as he grabbed my neck, and throw me at the wall. I tried to stand, but it was too late. I never realized he had a knife I whimpered, "Please,"
He glared at me, "You little slut," he muttered under his breath I could smell the alcohol coating his breath. He grabbed the knife, and cut me up and down my body. An hour later he nodded and left, I sat on the floor in my own blood dying slowly. "Not going to give up," I said as I tried to stand.
I went to the bathroom and wrapped and cleaned all my wounds and made sure if Sides came he wouldn't know. I sat in my bed trying not to cry I don't cry, Sideswipe has been the only one that has made me cry.
I listened to boulevard of broken dreams, by Green Day until I fell asleep. My alarm clock rang loud and my ear I jumped at the noise, another day more pain. I pulled myself out of bed, body aching from the stitches I had to give myself. I had my clothes already picked out for the day when there was a knock on my window.
I jumped thinking that it was my father, I slowly walked over to the window. I opened it and out popped Sideswipe. I yelped in surprise and fell on my butt. I shot him a mean glare, he laughed and grabbed my arm. I yelped as pain laced up my arm, I pulled away from Sideswipe he looked at me confused.
I stood up and looked at the floor, I heard his footsteps and I figured he was going to leave. I was not expecting him to stay and comfort me. He lifted my chin so I was looking him in the eyes I blinked.
He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead on mine, my cheeks heating up,"What's wrong?" he mumbled.
I sighed and pulled away from Sideswipe, he opened his eyes looking really confused.
"It's nothing," I said as I laid down on my bed. He looked a little hurt, I turned away from him.
"I'm going to be late," I sighed as the clock read 7:31.
"Do you know enough about me?"
I looked at funny,"Um I know a lot why?"
"Can I give you a ride, our friendship has lasted for 3 months,"
Yeah I know it's been 3 months and I don't let him drive me anywhere, but this time I nodded.
He smiled, he jumped out the window, "Really the window?" I glared at him he smirked happily. "I'll lift you down," he insisted.
I shook my head, "It's not high Sides about a few feet," he only shrugged, bastard, always getting his way. As we were walking to the car pain came through my body, why did this happen to me.
I slowly slid into the corvette stingray, Sides was smirking that couldn't be good. He put his foot on the pedal and took off, my eyes widen in fear the seatbelt seemed to get really tight.
I looked at Sides in fear he laughed and speed up, 55, 60, 65, 70, 75, 80, 85, 90, the speed steadily rising. "Slow down or will get pulled over,"
he only gave me a sideways glance, "Sounds like more fun."
Few minutes we were at the school, and I felt like I just rode the fastest roller coaster ever, and…..it was fun. The thought of me being happy and having fun, made me sad I grabbed my headphones out of my pocket I still had a good 35 minutes tell school started no thanks to Sides. I scrolled through the songs, too 'Never Surrender' by Skillet appeared and popped my headphones in.
Do you know what it's like when
You're scared to see yourself?
Do you know what it's like when
You wish you were someone else
Who didn't need your help to get by?
Do you know what it's like
To wanna surrender?
I just wanted to give up, is the pain really worth it, I mean why am I even fighting when there's nothing to fight for. I closed my eyes as the first verse went on…Well until Sides took my headphones out and hooked it up to his car.
I don't wanna feel like this tomorrow
I don't wanna live like this today
Make me feel better
I wanna feel better
Stay with me here now
And never surrender
That's what I wanted to feel better, not in pain, but who did I have to make me feel wanted, needed….loved. I looked out the window as rain clouds filled the sky.
Do you know what it's like when
You're not who you wanna be?
Do you know what it's like to
Be your own worst enemy
Who sees the things in me I can't hide?
Do you know what it's like
to wanna surrender?
I don't wanna feel like this tomorrow
I don't wanna live like this today
Make me feel better
I wanna feel better
Stay with me here now
And never surrender
I didn't even realise I was singing, until my voice echoed back at me. Tears slid down my cheeks when all the bad memories I locked away flooded back into my head.
Make me feel better,
You make me feel better,
You make me feel better,
Put me back together.
You know when I think about feeling better, I think about Sideswipe and how much he makes me feel better. Like Sideswipe knew what I was thinking he placed me in his lap comforting me. I blushed and cried at the sametime.
I don't wanna feel like this tomorrow
I don't wanna live like this today
Make me feel better
I wanna feel better
Stay with me here now
And never surrender
"You won't feel like this tomorrow because I'll be with you, I'll make you feel better," he mumbled. It only made me cry more.
I don't wanna feel like this tomorrow
I don't wanna live like this today
Make me feel better
I wanna feel better
Stay with me here now
And never surrender
Make me feel better,
You make me feel better,
You make me feel better,
Put me back together.
I tried to wipe away my tears, but they keep coming. Sideswipe rubbed my back, he didn't have to say anything his presences was enough, and he knew it.
I don't wanna feel like this tomorrow
I don't wanna live like this today
Make me feel better
I wanna feel better
Stay with me here now
And never surrender
Put me back together,
Never surrender,
Make me feel better.
You make me feel better,
Stay with me here now,
And never surrender.
Sides held my arm and squeezed it gently I pulled away, I felt him cock his head. He gently pulled my arm back and pulled up my sleeve, I looked at my arm instead of Sides. I felt his eyes staring at me, I just couldn't bring myself to look back at him.
"ALexis look at me," he said, I could hear the seriousness in his voice. I slowly looked up, but I couldn't look him in the eyes so I shut mine. I heard him sigh.
"Open your eyes please," I shook my head, "Pretty please," he sounded sad. I opened my tightly squeezed eyes.
"What happened?" I sniffed he wiped my tears away. I couldn't tell him, not now, not yet.
"I….i..it's nothing." I stuttered. I did not want to lie to him. I looked at his face he was frowning deeply.
"That," he pointed at my arm harshly, "Is not nothing," he grumbled. I acted to ignore him, he pushed up my other sleeve and shook his head, "If you don't want to tell me that's ok, but tell me now you're not doing this to yourself are you?" I shook my head he sounded so heartbroken. He pulled me close to him so close I swear I could feel his heart beating. He nibbled on my ear, then mumbled, "Good."
My face flushed a bright red, why does he do this to me he only chuckled and I pushed him away. He opened the door and I got out. I told him bye and headed to the school.
Sam looked at me, then burst out laughing, I slapped him upside the head.
School had ended early that day something about the government doing something, and everyone had to stay in. Most people went home as fast as they could, but not me I took my slow measly time.
I heard this super loud gunfire. Come from a nearby forest clearing. Being the idiot I am I went to go investigate it. Of all the things I was expecting gigantic robots were not one of them.
Something about that silver robot was all too familiar. Then it all clicked into place when it transformed into a car. The electric blue eyes that odd red symbol transforming down into the Corvette that Sides drive.
I looked up, and shook my head in denial. "Sides." I said it quietly, but loud enough that he heard it. I had said it right after he killed red eyes. He looked towards me regret was written on his face. "I thought we friends," I muttered weakly.
"Lex I-" I shook my head,
"No don't even bother."
I said pain, and betrayal coating my voice a single fell. I ran from him, as I ran I sang repeatedly in my head.
'I walk this lonely road the only one that I have ever known don't know where it goes, but it's only me and I walk alone.'
This chapter is completely different from the first one, tell me what you think, and what I should fix.
R&R
DarkShadow out