2184 CE :: Serpent Nebula - Citadel :: Presidium - Systems Alliance Office
The woman behind the counter could not be more than twenty. She tapped idly into the console in front of her, occasionally mumbling into the minute microphone attached to her half-visor. Sometimes she would get up and shuffle some papers on her desk around. Other times, she would just sit and sip her from her mug, her eyes casually reading the screen.
Lauren knew all this because she had been sitting in the same room, patiently waiting for her turn. Ever since the incident on Akuze, Lauren had been a recluse. She had withdrawn into her shell and volunteered for missions in the fringes of Terminal space, one that was not controlled by the Systems Alliance. Many have said that the blonde doctor risked her life because she did not feel like she deserved her second chance. Not after what happened with her previous commander. She had ship-hopped, not of her own will but mainly because the respective commanders were loath to have a soldier like her aboard.
She was a force to be reckoned with on the battlefields, fighting with reckless abandon, jumping in front of fire to rescue her squadmates, refusing to obey direct commands. Her skills had only gotten sharper since Akuze, the incident earning her a reputation of her fearlessness. They had commended her for her ability to survive, and Tamsin's bravery and leadership, both medals she begrudgingly accepted.
Now she sat in the room with two other soldiers, waiting on her new posting. She applied to be on board the Normandy SR-2, the most famous ship in the Systems Alliance fleet. Or infamous, depending on the situation. She and her crew were credited with saving the High Council and the flagship dreadnought of the Citadel Fleet. Which had caused the demise of the original Normandy, the SR-1, and prompted the building of the Normandy SR-2. But they were also known for skirting the rules when the need arose, when saving a life meant disobeying orders.
Lauren knew the Normandy's commander was a Spectre, a Council appointed agent given almost free reign and reported to no one but the Council. She also knew that the ship herself was a technological marvel, with a Tantalus Drive Core that put the older models to shame and a stealth system that made it an excellent scouting ship. Other than that, she had no clue about the rest of the crew. Not that she cared anyway, she was there to serve.
"Staff Lieutenant Lewis?"
Lauren was snapped back from her thoughts. She looked up to find that she had gained entry to the room beyond. Nodding her thanks, she picked up her beret and smoothed her dress blues as she walked to the door. Three soft knocks later, she entered the office. It was simply furnished, just several shelves, a desk, and a man sitting behind an active console. The red, angry flesh of old scars looked just at home with the scowl he wore, not one of annoyance but of years spent hardened by battle. The whitening beard that outlined his pursed lips only accented his age but his eyes shone with intelligence and an energy that she had only seen in younger men.
"Sir," Lauren saluted.
"Have a seat, Lieutenant," Admiral Hackett nodded.
Lauren sat stiffly, her hands placed neatly over her beret in front of her. She studied the man closely, remembering the words he had sent her after the incident on Akuze. His piercing blue eyes seemed to do the same, trying to gauge a reaction. She did not know how long they had stared at each other, but she was content just staring at the man who had presented her with her medals.
"I understand that you want another transfer," he broke the silence. "to the Normandy?"
"Yes, sir."
"Is your time on the Budapest unfulfilling?"
"No, sir."
She hated this part. They always waited for her to elaborate. It was not as if her time on the SSV Budapest was a waste of time, but she was butting heads with the commander on a daily basis. The weak-willed woman was not fit to be commander and simply did not understand that every life was sacred. That alone had sparked more than one argument, not to mention the difference in their methods.
"It was more than fulfilling, sir," she gave in. "But I'm expanding my horizons. Greener pastures."
She could swear the admiral looked amused at her explanation.
"I see," was his non-committal response.
The silence enveloped them again. As she stared at him, she could not help but think of… Tamsin. They were his A-team, his go-to whenever problems arose. And she knew he was not a heartless bastard but she did not see any efforts made to recover her dead girlfriend's body. Her face twitched in anger as she fought to reign in control.
"Is there something wrong, Lieutenant?"
Shit, he caught it.
"No, sir. Just wondering if you've approved my application to join the Normandy."
"Your application has been approved. Your records are excellent Lieutenant, just watch that attitude. I don't want to have to review another transfer. Now is there anything else?"
Lauren's eyes widened, slightly surprised that she was so easy to read. No, she decided that she was not going to ask now. Some part of her still held out that Tamsin had simply disappeared, and that joining the Normandy could give her a higher chance. That is, she thought with a shuddering breath, if Tamsin's still alive.
But right now, there was no point, so Lauren stood to leave. She gave a salute and Admiral Hackett stood to return it.
"No, sir. Thank you, sir."
"Before you leave, Lo," she flinched at the intimate nickname. "We tried to find her, but there was really nothing on Akuze except you. I'm sorry, we all are."
Lauren closed her eyes and swallowed thickly, she could feel the tears threatening to escape. She wanted to turn and yell at the man for not trying hard enough, for sending backup too late, for sending them there at all. No amount of compensation or therapy would have brought Tamsin back, and this man, whom she had once loved and respected, thought that a simple apology could take that all away? Ridiculous.
Taking in a deep breath, she nodded and walked out the door. She did not have to put up with this, especially not today.
2184 CE :: Serpent Nebula - Citadel :: Presidium Commons
The tall, dark marble wall erected outside the embassies usually went unnoticed by Lauren, numb to its presence. Maybe it was talking with the admiral, maybe it was today, but she did not anticipate the staggering emotions as she walked past it.
The Systems Alliance seal proudly emblazoned in the middle, hundreds of thinner bars in the same lighter shade of silver flanked both sides. Smooth gold letters carved upon slate grey stone on each of them. Each was a name. Each was someone's child. Each was a warrior. Each was a soldier.
Lauren bowed her head, sending a silent prayer for their sacrifice. Her eyes darted to a particular one, one that her eyes have always trained upon whenever she came by to pay her respects.
Lieutenant-Commander Tamsin Sigrún
No explanation was needed for her sacrifice. None of them needed one. From the front pocket of her dress blues, she fished out the pendant she had bought almost a decade ago. Her fingers traced the delicate pattern as she recalled the brilliant grin, the cautious vulnerability , the witty snark.
"Tamsin," she breathed out, tears sliding down her cheek.
I miss you, Lauren cried silently, repeating the same words every year. I miss you so much. I'm so sorry.
2184 CE :: Serpent Nebula - Citadel :: Darkstar Bar
The burn of the Ryncol soothed Lauren, heating up her cold, empty heart. She chuckled internally at her flair for the dramatic. Picking up another shot, she threw it back, enjoying the slow burn and the bitter aftertaste.
She was determined to get as drunk as possible tonight, though her cybernetic reconstruction was making it increasingly difficult. The toxin from the Thresher Maw had done more damage internally, despite the minute amount that entered her bloodstream. Human blood was exceptionally weak to the older, more ghastly types of underfae, especially the big bad ones that could swallow a humanoid whole. The surgery had replaced most of her insides with cybernetic-enhanced hardware. In layman's terms, she was only 21.24% human.
And today of all days, she had to get the news of the transfer. She could not even be happy even if she wanted to. The days and months after Tamsin's death had been hard on her, even though it was less difficult now. But the anniversary of her death was a particularly tough day to get through. It was the day she failed as a doctor and a girlfriend, and to only be reminded of it yearly was pure torture.
She threw back another shot of the obscenely green liquid, letting the burn eat at her as punishment. But she knew no punishment was enough when she was the only one that survived the horror that was Akuze.
"Hey beautiful, can I get you a drink?"
Lauren turned to stare at an obviously drunk man who had invaded her personal space. She looked around her to make sure he was speaking to her, before turning to face him with a frown.
"Sorry."
"I asked if you wanted a drink," he grinned, wriggling his eyebrows.
"Yeah, and I said 'sorry', because no, I don't want a drink."
"Come on, baby! Don't be like that!" the man moved even closer. "I can show you a good time."
She glared at the man, completely incredulous. She would have forgiven his advances since he was drunk, but today she really was not in the mood. In an instant, she thought of fifteen ways to incapacitate him but a report from Citadel Security, better known as C-Sec, would be another ugly taint on her otherwise already-spotty records.
"I think the lady already said no, so why don't you scoot a little further away."
"Fuck you, bitch, I saw her first."
Swivelling the bar stool around, Lauren caught sight of a beautiful brunette. Her hair fell past her shoulders, framing the delicate features on her face. But Lauren knew in an instant that she was a marine as well, aside from the obvious N7 logo on her black leather jacket. She was not tall but her stature did not affect the intimidating stance she held with her head held high, her lips curved in disgust. Hardened, dark brown eyes narrowed at the intoxicated man, daring him to issue a challenge.
"Back off, buddy."
The man decided he was pushed around enough for a night and lunged at the brunette. She side-stepped him easily, letting him fall drunkenly to the ground. But he was a soldier too, perhaps from C-Sec. He jumped back up at the newcomer as she turned to speak to Lauren but the blonde saw him. Her fist extended and retracted so quickly that the brunette hardly had time to be surprised before she heard a dull thud behind her.
"Nice jab," the brunette chuckled, a little surprised.
"He was coming at you," Lauren shrugged. "And the angle was perfect for a knockout. It wasn't hard to calculate how far my arm needed to extend to avoid your face."
The brunette shot her a look that said she was impressed and confused at the same time.
"Thanks," Lauren held out her hand.
"Glad I was able to save a beautiful woman," the brunette's grip was firm as she chuckled.
"Glad I could say the same."
Lauren blanched. What had made her say that?
The brunette continued to laugh softly, "Thank you though, that douchebag would've landed a hit and that would've hurt."
The thumping of the bass encompassed them as they both took turns to stare at each other. Lauren could not decide whether the alcohol was finally kicking in, or that this was a natural impulse for her body to crave, since she was in the stages of grief. At any other time, the chivalry would have been adorable and Lauren would have asked for the woman's details. But tonight, no. Not tonight.
Thankfully, she did not have to.
"I'm Bo," she smiled, her dimples caused an erratic increase in Lauren's heart rate. "Would it be crass of me to ask to buy you a drink? You know, for saving my head from a bad bruise?"
"Only if you let me buy you one too," Lauren relented, waving the bartender over. "Ryncol okay? Nothing else really works for me."
"Strong stuff, but sure," Bo took the seat next to her. "And also, Tommy," she turned to the bartender and pointed behind her, "send an escort for Private Asshole here would you? He's killing the vibe."
The bartender returned with their drinks, a soda with a dash of the acid green liquor. They sipped their drinks, laughing about the cluelessness of men. While it was not his fault he assumed Lauren was straight, the way he imposed himself on her seemed to have made Bo's innate need for justice roar for action.
"If I knew you had such a strong right hook, I wouldn't have bothered," Bo teased.
Lauren blushed, grinning wildly, "Well, if I knew there was going to be someone like you coming to my rescue…"
The brunette's laugh made Lauren shiver in delight. It had been a while since anyone made her feel like that, so oddly free and fun. The endorphin release from flirting and the dopamine rush was almost comparable to actual intoxication. Conversation flowed between the two women, easy and fluid, from one topic to the next. Lauren was thoroughly enjoying herself.
The realization hit her and she sobered up fast. The attraction was instant and overwhelming. Not to mention how funny and intelligent Bo was. No, not tonight. She had already given herself prior warning and was slightly peeved that her usual self-discipline did nothing to stop her actions.
"Hey, is something wrong?" Bo's hand closed the distance and laid gently on her arm.
"Hmm? Sorry, what?" Lauren feigned ignorance.
"Your face, you kinda scrunched it up like you smelled something bad. Did I say something?" Her thumb began to rub soothing circles against Lauren's forearm.
No, Lauren wanted to say. No, because Bo had been the perfect companion on her darkest night of the year. No, because it was Lauren's fault. No, because she slipped up and needed a distraction.
And what a beautiful distraction this woman was.
There. She finally admitted it to herself. The burden of her guilt has weighed heavily on her for the past five years, despite knowing, somewhere in her mind, that she was not the cause of the horrors that happened on Akuze. She knew - understood - scientifically that she had to be long past the stages of her grief. Yet she felt like she was still in the denial phase, her actions were proof. Any mission that had to do with the Dark, she volunteered, hoping to catch a glance of blonde hair she spent hours nuzzling in, the shade of blonde belonging to the woman she still believed existed. And in every mission, she completes them as recklessly as possible, completely disregarding her life. She knew this. So what was this?
Punishment, Lauren knew in an instant. Punishment for a terrible accident she did nothing to stop. Punishment for the most beautiful times of her life lost forever. Punishment for being alive.
Bo squeezed her forearm and Lauren snapped back to the present, eyebrows raised in question. The blonde could only lift her glass and in one swift motion, she drained its contents. Honey brown eyes met dark chocolate ones with a flicker of interest and a sudden intensity.
"Let's go somewhere more private," Lauren husked as she lead the brunette away from the noisy bar.