Yami Ryo: Thanks to everyone that reviewed! The basis of this chap is Romano's complete inability to clean and that most people I know are germ-a-phobic to a certain degree.

Warning: yaoi, romantic crap, human names, and Romano! Cause he needs a warning by himself...

Pairing: Romerica! Cause Romerica = Romance! Romano(South Italy)/America(Alfred F. Jones)

Disclaimer: Yami Ryo does not own Hetalia. If she did she would have a sack of Reese's peanut butter cups.

Chapter Two: What a Dump!

Alfred stood in Romano's doorway gaping in utter horror. Now, don't get him wrong he is not OCD and he does leave little messes behind himself every once in a while but what he was looking at had to be a biohazard! It was unsanitary! There was garbage, dirty clothes, books, papers, really just anything just laying everywhere. He could hear little critters skittering around in it! It smelled horrible!

"Oh god there's some on the ceiling!" Alfred whimpered tearing up as he gazed in dismay at the gelatinous black mass of something dripping from the ceiling. Romano got tired of waiting for him to move and pushed his way in knocking Alfred into a pile of dirty laundry.

"Will you just get in you asswipe?" Romano demanded. Alfred let out a shriek of undignified horror and jumped around trying to wipe filth and germs from himself. Romano's eyebrow twitched in annoyance. "What the hell is your problem hamburger bastard?" Alfred looked as though he would burst into tears.

"How can you live like this?" He practically sobbed completely horrified. Romano looked around as though he did not even see the biohazard worthy of a hazmat team coming in to just bomb the place.

"What do you mean?" Romano asked genuinely oblivious, Alfred really did start crying then catching Romano completely off-guard and making him panic. "What are you doing? Don't cry you stupid bastard!"

"You could die in this! It's horrible! How have you lived this long like this?" Alfred shouted pulling at his hair and just trying not to hyperventilate. "That's it you seriously need someone to save you from yourself! Do you at least have some cleaning supplies?" Romano felt a little indignation worm it's way into the slight panic.

"There's a mop and broom in the kitchen, some soap too." Romano interjected trying at least to be a little helpful, Alfred stared in horror.

"You don't have any disinfectant?" He asked weakly.

"Nothings infected!" Romano protested indignantly, Alfred felt as though he might pass out.

"Where is the nearest market I can get cleaning supplies?" Alfred pleaded his voice wavering. It was at that moment the black thing that was stuck to the ceiling dropped with a wet splat a few feet away from them spattering gunk onto Alfred's shoes and the bottoms of his jeans, Alfred turned to it in disgusted horror. The thing jiggled and let out a wet moan, Alfred proceeded to let out a girlish scream and flee the house.

"What the hell is his problem?" Romano scoffed turning to the black mass. "Santiago get the hell outta my house. If Alfred's gonna be like this you shouldn't be here." Romano told it, the thing grumbled and crawled away much like a slug leaving behind a gray sticky trail over everything. "Better go find the dumb shit." Romano grumbled to himself going out to find wherever Alfred had run off too.

By the time they got back Alfred was armed with the strongest cleaning products they sold in all South Italy and anything he was sure he would need to clean, amongst which was a flamethrower. The flamethrower made Romano a bit nervous.

"Romano could you leave the house for a few hours while I sort this out?" Alfred requested a dark look on his face, Romano really did not want to leave the crazy American alone with his house but he doubted he could beat the American in a fight so he just scoffed.

"Don't burn my house down." Romano ordered leaving. Alfred pulled a pair of heavy duty latex gloves, galoshes, a dust mask, an apron, and a handkerchief from one of the shopping bags. He put on his armor, drew his weapons, and faced his enemy.

"This is war, and I won't lose." Alfred declared as he walked into battle.

Romano looked up at the long dark sky and wondered if Alfred had calmed down yet. He scoffed doubtfully to himself but made his way home anyway. When he walked in he froze and believed for a fleeting moment that he was in the wrong house. Closing the door slowly with his foot he took everything in...he had no idea he had a white carpet...or that the walls were actually a calming blue and not dark gray and brown as he had once believed. He also now knew that not only did he have a couch but it was beige and there were two side tables with rather nice lamps. Going around the house he could not find a single bit of filth anywhere and discovered he actually had a rather cozy and stylish house.

The more he toured his own house he also realized that he had yet to see Alfred anywhere. Searching every room he discovered nice things he had completely forgotten over time but had not found Alfred. The house seemed to have an odd flowery smell he could not identify. He almost passed by the bathroom completely but a soft breathing made him pause. He looked inside to see a beautiful rather large spotless bathroom with a tub that could easily fit four massive men, in that tub lay Alfred curled around a bottle of bleach fast asleep.

Alfred had his hair covered by a blue handkerchief, a white dust mask had fallen off his face, thick yellow latex gloves covered his hands, black galoshes on is feet, and he wore a heavy duty apron. He looked a mix between adorable and ridiculous that caused Romano to roll his eyes. He crouched leaning over the side of he tub and shook Alfred's shoulder.

"Wake up you hamburger bastard you can't sleep in there." Romano said firmly. Alfred moaned and lifted his upper body to his elbows looking at Romano with sleepy eyes his glasses, Texas slipping to the tip of his nose. Romano's eyes widened a little and his face heated at the adorable sight.

"Romano?" Alfred asked groggily, Romano looked away quickly and stood up.

"Wake up bastard you have a room here so don't sleep in there." Romano ordered trying to cover his embarrassment.

"Oh. Thanks Romano. I'm gonna shower first though, I feel disgusting..." Alfred complained getting up. Romano shrugged and left the bathroom so Alfred could have some privacy. Romano went back to his own room and opened his dresser, inside were all the clothes that were lying around neatly folded and smelling clean. He raised an eyebrow at this and wondered vaguely how Alfred managed to do all his laundry in one day. He had already eaten out and was actually pretty tired so he closed the drawer and striped off his clothes just leaving them on the floor and crawling between his newly clean and fresh smelling sheets. Romano buried his face into his nice smelling pillow and though vaguely that he should probably thank Alfred for all his hard work.

TBC...

Yami Ryo: I'm American myself and if I ever saw a mess like this I would cry and try to burn the place down as a service to the world. Although I would hope anyone from any country would.