I hesitated before answering. Why did his eyes, for a split second, gleam of sadness? Why did i feel so empty after he pushed me away? I kept my cool and pretended that nothing happened, which is something i was getting good at.

"No, Spot. I was just… happy." i hid my confused eyes and replaced them with a bright smile. "What's the next task?" he smirked and started walking, so i followed. "Youse'll see doll." my stomach did a little lurch and i knew this was going to be a hard one.

I tried to tame my heart by thinking of happy thoughts like when my papa used to be sane, or when my mother was alive. I barely remembered her, but people always told me that i looked just like her. They said her blonde hair was short and always curled. Her eyes were green, exactly like mine. Green swirls that were always bright. People told me they were the best part of my face- and my mothers face. The people were friends' of my father.

They always had a certain roughness about them that i remembered when my mother was alive, but they seemed to be forcing their kindness. Though, i remember that they all turned very.. Uncaring after my mother passed.

"EVELYN!" i quickly turned my attention to Spot who looked very angry. "WHAT?!" i yelled back because i was thought that i should treat people the way they treated me. So if they treated me like shit, they deserved the shit back. His eyes turned ice cold again, the same look he gave me when i first opened my mouth on that bunk bed.

He gave me a dirty look and was about to grab my collar when i slapped his hand away. He stared at his hand for a few seconds, even more angry, then looked up at me with the look of death. I looked straight in his eyes with the same look of death fury. "Is there still something you'd like to say?" i tilted my head and put both hands on my hips.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" he towered me so much that his head shaded me from the entire sun. My heart was pounding so hard, but i kept on provoking the fight. "I said what. WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT!" i screamed at him, and with every 'what', i pushed his face away from mine, as i flicked my hair side to side while moving forward, making him take steps back. His face was stunned, and my work was accomplished.

But it returned to that angry face of his again, and this time he was about to totally blow. I took a few cautious steps back before saying "So.. Meet ya in Manhattan?… I'll race ya." i started sprinting down the Brooklyn bridge with Spot very close to my heels. But the good thing is, is that i'm a girl and petite, he's a boy and big. I slid under some wagons that were still and jumped over boxes quite easily.

"This ain't funny! Get your ass over here!" i laughed hysterically while clutching my side because laughing while running isn't a good idea. "Tsk tsk! Spotty shouldn't use such bad language towards little girls!" when i said 'little girl' i was referring to me, because even though he didn't say it, everyone always called me a little girl because i was short and had a baby face. But- i got to use that as an advantage lots of times.

I slid through two men arguing while Spot had to run through all the people. About 30 minutes passed and i made it into Manhattan. Manhattan had much more people then Brooklyn. But all the people in Manhattan looked more welcoming. Unlike Brooklyn, which always had a certain roughness. I mean, theres nothing wrong with the place, it's just i could use a little change.

I was moving towards a dead end when i looked to my right, where i saw a nice restaurant, that looked like it was filled with boys- newsies. I ran in there, thinking i could hide, because when i looked back Spot was just deciding where to turn. "Shit" i said as we locked eyes. Mine with pure fun, and his with pure hatred. I ran into the diner where an unexpected bell rung.

I looked left and right trying to find a place to hide. As a newsie was walking out, i took off his hat, which i don't think he realized. I quickly stuffed my hair into the hat and sat down on a booth next to some other newsies. "Well heyya!" a boy said welcomingly.

I jumped, really nervous because Spot just walked in. I stayed calm and answered "Hi.." i said deepening my voice a little. "Youse a new one?" i kept my head down, hiding a part of my face. "New what?" i asked. "Well, a new newsie, of course!" i finally caught a glimpse of the guy who seemed really nosy about my business.

He had really white skin, despite being under the sun all day. He had freckles on abnormally big nose and ears. He had big bright brown eyes full of life and his big brown curly hair covered some of his forehead. Crutchy. "Um, no. Not really." i answered, keeping my eye on Spot who seemed to be making his way over here.

Everyone greeted Spot as he scooted his way next to me. "Heyya Spot, how ya doin?" a boy in a bandana and cowboy hat asked- Cowboy. "Nutin much, have any of you seen a girl with long blonde hair and evil green eyes?" i know i shouldn't have said anything but it was too late. "MY EYES ARE NOT EVIL!" i turned to Spot with fire blazed in my eyes.

Everyone and Spot looked really confused, some even looked intrigued. He ripped the hat off my head, my hair falling from it. "Well, it was nice meeting you guys, but i really have to go, now will you excuse me Spot.." he raised a very angry eyebrow. "No, youse ain't goin' nowhere." i looked around the table at all the newsies that now looked very entertained, so i was going to give them a good show.

"No, i think i am." i slammed my foot on Spot's foot and pushed him off the seat. As i started running, i felt a hand pull my ankle, and i was dragged down. "Spot get your fucking hands off of me!" he pinned me down with both his hands on my wrists, and his body on top of mine. I tried wiggling out of his grasp but it was no use. "You know Conlon, your pretty heavier than you seem."

"Really now? Udder girls enjoy my heaviness on top of them." I blew my hair away from my face, raised my leg and kneed his groin, and i quickly got on top of him. "Yeah, but i like to be the one on top." i pinned him down the exact way he did to me. "Well, ise guess dats fine, so you can do all the woik foah me." i rolled my eyes, disgusted. "Get over yourself Conlon. Whores only seem to like you because of your little cane."

He laughed and his eyes turned threatening. "Is dat why youse like me?" i laughed really hard for a couple seconds. "Yeah, i don't think so. I think i like you because you're so weak." i said sarcastically. He managed to pull away from my grasp and pushed me off of him. "If ise was so weak, then why did i become da leada of da Brooklyn newsies?" he was standing, towering over me. "Same reason whores like you, because of your little shiny old cane." i said menacingly.

He bent down and made a punch beside my face at the floor. "I don't think so." he pulled me up by my collar then let me down gently again. "Follow me." So i did. He led me out of the restaurant into an ally and shoved me against a wall. He slapped me across the face and i just looked at him, not fazed at all. I always got slapped and punched in the face, it was nothing compared to what my father did.

He looked like he was deep in thought. And then suddenly his mood changed almost completely. He pressed his body against mine roughly and grabbed the back of my neck, sending tingles up and down spine. Spot whispered close to my ear and said "I just can't understand you" i stopped him, saying "And you shouldn't." he lightly squeezed my waist, but something told me he was holding back.

He looked at my neck for a while, then left a trail of kisses down my jawline to my neck and up to my chin. I was anticipating the kiss, but it never happened. "Answer my question." he said forwardly. "Why did ise find you all bloody, blacked out in front of me lodge?"

My breath left me for a few seconds. I stuttered a little bit "W-why d-do you want to know?" he raised a questioning eyebrow and started kissing me on my collar bone lightly. "Because.." he said between kisses "I have a right to know"

I closed my eyes, why did he have to make me feel so weak? I'm not weak. I'm a strong girl, but somehow when i'm with Spot, like this, i always feel vulnerable. Like he could easily have and take away everything just with a snap of a finger.

He started to kiss me a little more roughly to which i tilted my neck for easier access and breathed harder. I could feel my pulse grow louder with his every touch. And i hated it. I hated him. I hated that he could easily have this power over me and every other girl. I couldn't stand him, or this.

Yet, i liked it. I liked how he had the authority over me. The way he gets angry with every word i say. The way he can be caring, even though the next minute he'll return to his usual self. I was so conflicted with myself i didn't know what to do.

"Spot, stop." he kept on kissing me, then pulled away, giving me a harsh look. I couldn't do this, because my mind told me that i would regret it later on. So, i did what i was good… No, great at. I ran. Now, i didn't know where i was going to go, but i just kept on running. It felt like hours when i finally stopped.

But i managed to make my way in front of a very familiar place. The windows flashed back to the times when a little girl would be laughing and playing with her dolls as her father sat by the window, drinking coffee, and reading the daily newspaper. She would always get a good view of the back of his head. A full head of dark hair that was always slicked back. The mother would be busy cooking sweets for her favorite little girl and she would help- by playing with the dough and making her hands all messy. But her mother didn't care because she was as loving and caring as a mother should be, so she played with her. And sometimes, even the father played with them. It was like she had the best life ever. Yet, she wasn't going to. Her life wasn't going to be the same when she saw a man barging into the happy family's house to shoot the poor mother.

It seemed so vivid to me now. I never remembered much of that until now. And one thing i just vividly remembered was the back of the mans head. A full head of dark hair and slicked back. That man… Was my father.

And that little girl was me.