Title: A Helping Hand, or A Hogwarts Bathroom Ballad

Author: AristideCauquemaire

Pairing: You should know this by now.

Rating: Seriously.

Warnings: I mean, come on.

/

Yay, you made it!

Special special thanks, as usual, to Nia, by dearest (and onliest) beta reader. Mwah! Also, thanks to Logociet for following this story at the very last possible opportunity, and to my dearest Weird Guest for continuous and unwavering interest and enthusiasm (and reviews) :)

Good. So. One last time. Once more. With feeling.

~Chapter 17~

Scorpius wondered whether it was irony or already destiny that the bathroom Al had pushed him into happened to be the very same he had ended up in that one night when he had fled his bed with nothing but socks, briefs, a boner and his day cloak bundled up in front of himself. That night, Al had also found him somehow. It was really quite an eerie ability, when he thought about it.

Al fired silencing and locking spells all around and checked the stalls for occupants, but they were empty. Once the door of the last stall flew open with a shriek, banged against the wall, revealing an empty toilet, and then slowly swung closed again, he turned to him.

"Talk," he said. "What's going on?"

Scorpius couldn't look him in the eyes.

"Is it the spell, still?" he asked. "It was scheduled to wear off today. Did it? Were there complications-"

"It's fine," Scorpius said. He had thought about lying to him and pretending, but seeing how he looked at him now, with all that real concern in his eyes, it had been a really dumb idea. "It wore off. Everything's... fine-" He cleared his throat. "-down there."

It was. He had... checked early this morning. It hadn't been bad.

That reminded him of his dream last night. Again.

"Good," Al said, sounding relieved. "How about the girls? Anything... still weird with them?"

"Seemed fine." He hadn't had any major run-ins with any girls yet that day, but somehow he felt it in his gut that this issue was resolved. He shrugged. "I haven't been bothered with them any more since..." He trailed off, glancing at the toilet stall on the far left.

"Good," Al said again, more slowly.

Silence.

"So... why is everything not back to normal?" he asked almost gingerly. "Everything should be fine again but you act like-"

"I've made you a whore," Scorpius burst out and involuntarily clapped a hand over his mouth once the words were out.

/

Al stared, blinked. "What?"

Scorpius went to the wall on the far side of the room and sat down, leaning his back against the cool granite.

"I was so stupid," he said and then repeated it, in present tense, for good measure. "I am so stupid. I didn't see what was happening, I swear I didn't. I was so focussed on me and my- my problem and everything was hormones and that spell and I..."

He knew he was rambling but he couldn't stop.

"I should have noticed it. You talked about Rose again and again, and I was only annoyed at the constant reminder because I didn't feel anything for her anymore, it had stopped being about her very early on, but for you- I should have noticed that you had made that your duty, I should have known that you would put the blame on yourself, and that you would mean it bloody literally when you talked about reparations, and that you would go so far to-"

He swallowed the words, then exhaled a laugh.

"I always knew that you've inherited that helper complex from your father but I didn't see that pattern because I'm apparently blind and stupid-"

"Scorpius," Albus interrupted quietly, finally stopping the flow of words. He had taken one step toward him, but not more, as if he were an animal in attack mode. "Slow. Down."

"I'm so sorry, Al," he whispered.

Al just answered, "Yes, I got that. I'm not sure yet what it is you're sorry for, though."

"You said it yourself yesterday," he said vehemently, almost barking it, suddenly angry that Al didn't get it, that he didn't see how despicable his actions had been, and that he was still so. Bloody. Calm. Ugh.

"Scorp, no offence, but I was drunk yesterday. I'm not entirely sure what I said but-"

"You said you 'fucked up bad' and had been 'trying to make good', and I finally understood why you..." He gestured toward the bathroom stall whose door had swung open yet again, providing a high-pitched wailing sound all the while, making it seem as if the door were beckoning him.

"Why I... what?" Al asked.

That was the last straw.

"Merlin damn it, Potter! You only jerked me off because you felt guilty for the thing with Rose! I've basically made you my personal prostitute. Right here, in this room."

Saying it out loud, hearing it spelled out hurt his heart. He pulled his knees up to his chest and wished with all his might that he could turn back time to that Friday he had sat on his sofa at home, wearing his favourite winter sweater and his Pokémon undies, reading all about the Danish team in Quidditch Today.

Al tilted his head back and groaned at the ceiling. "Merlin damn it, Malfoy. You're an idiot."

"I know," he started, sniffling a little. "you keep reminding-"

"Oh, shut up," Albus talked over him, clearly exasperated.

Silence, except for another sniffle.

Albus sighed.

"Scorpius, there's only one of us who can make the other one do something he didn't want to do... and we already established which of us that is on multiple occasions," he said lightly.

"But-"

"Shut up."

Scorpius did. Then realized and glanced up. Albus opened his hands, as if to say, There, see? Scorpius glowered.

For the next sentence, Albus inhaled deeply, then spoke rapidly. "I do admit that the thought occurred to me that I was responsible for the mess you were clearly in and therefore obligated to help you out-"

"Albus-"

"-but that was exclusively before I knew what exactly was going on with you and that spell. I swear."

He even lifted two fingers in a swearing gesture.

"Before I knew what was really going on it just looked like you were emotionally derailing because of the break-up, and I felt the obligation to get you back on track. Even though it frustrated me because you were really bloody uncooperative. Help you with school stuff, or with the rebound girl, or just take your mind off things. So you'd get over the broken heart."

Scorpius wanted it to make sense so badly. "But when it turned out that I needed someone to bloody wank me off, you still... did that. Why? If not because you thought you had to, why?"

"Because I wanted to," he said bluntly.

After a beat, Scorpius huffed. "Not funny."

"Not joking," Albus responded, looking him straight in the eye.

Like a gawker would shove his way through a crowd to get a good look from the front row, anger bubbled up through the mass of self-deprecation. Scorpius almost rolled his eyes sneering "Not that shit again." He knew that he was about to be stuck with the enigma that was Albus Severus Potter, man of a thousand (or at least four) faces once more.

"Do you remember that I told you to open that door?" Al pointed at the toilet stall door that had since come to a rest.

"Yes, but-"

"Do you remember me telling you to pull down your pants that day in the locker room?" he continued, making a case for how it had all happened of his own volition. "And basically bullying you into the stall after that? And before that game-"

When you didn't kiss me.

"Yes, but that wasn't you," he yelled to shut him up. Which it did, effectively.

For a while, the only sound was a drip-drip-drip of a water tap.

Albus stared again, blinked again, but then his expression darkened and veered into an irritated kind of confusion. "What?"

Scorpius got up. He couldn't sit any more, he had to move, had to breathe.

"I had noticed that there was... at least... one of you who...uhm. Appeared to like the physical thing."

"Yeah, that would be me." Albus' voice was sharper now.

Scorpius grimaced and nodded toward him in what was supposed to be a placating gesture, but Albus' glower just deepened.

"It just doesn't... That Albus doesn't fit with... the other one. You know, the one who-" doesn't lean in and doesn't lean away. The one who literally doesn't do anything, ever. "My friend."

Before he could say that, however, Albus cut in, "Scorpius, are you implying that I have multiple personalities now?"

Drip-drip-drip went the tap.

When you put it like that, it does sound a bit daft.

"There's normal you," Scorpius said through gritted teeth, willing to defend himself like a cornered cat, "and then there's the one who- uhm, touches... And there's the liar-"

"Liar?" Albus hissed.

"When Parkinson almost came in," he pressed. "You made up that story like it was nothing. And you enjoyed it. It wasn't like you at all."

Al rolled his eyes. "You've never seen me in an exam situation, Scorp. The more nervous I get, the cooler I look on the outside. During the O.W.L.s I practically went full James Bond."

Scorpius just frowned, unconvinced and also annoyed at the clearly Muggle-world related reference he didn't get because he hadn't elected Muggle Studies in fifth year.

"That does not mean that I've got some compulsive liar alter ego who is out to somehow... trick you, Scorp. Just because I lied at Parkinson doesn't mean I've ever been anything but honest with you."

Scorpius just bit his lip. Yes, it made sense. Then again, that was exactly what a compulsive liar would say, no?

Albus threw up his hands and groaned wordlessly. It was just a string of frustrated sounds at first that bounced off the bathroom's tiles.

"You're such an idiot, Malfoy!" he shouted. "What kind of stupid fucking idea is that?"

Swearing loudly was even more unlike him than giving orders. Scorpius mouth was open.

And really, what kind of stupid fucking idea was it? Seeing how enraged Al was at the accusation, how- hurt he was.

"Listen. Listen carefully," Al said, walking up to him, making him want to back away. "There is only one of me. Exactly one dude who... bloody... likes doing that," he gestured desperately, "for whatever reason and who fancies his idiot best friend but also doesn't want to scare him away."

He huffed mightily, watched it sink in ever so slowly.

Fancy?

"Face it, you're a bloody idiot, Malfoy. You got everything all tangled up in your idiot head when the truth is really, really simple."

"Scare me away?" Scorpius yelled back, his voice creeping into upper registers which clearly showed how not-scared he was. Clearly.

Fancy?

"You ran away from me, Scorp. You didn't look me in the eye. You never once moved toward me of your own volition, I always had to put pressure on you, bloody corner you in some toilet stall or another – So, yeah. Scare you."

"B-But I..."

Excuse me. Fancy?

"Have a look in the mirror, man," he barked. Then he combed both hands through his hair in frustration. "That night when we were here for the first time... after it happened, I could basically see that you were scared shitless by it. You thought I might tell the others, embarrass you in some way, or that we would stop being friends, didn't you?"

Scorpius only clenched his teeth and said nothing.

"Of course you would, you idiot," Albus rolled his eyes. "So I tried to reassure you because I thought you needed that most of all. Reassurance. Stability. So you'd know that I wasn't bloody going anywhere or telling anyone or making fun of you or whatever you feared I'd do."

He remembered being so relieved that morning when everything had been as usual.

But the relief had faded pretty quickly, making way for something more... oblique that had grown into full-on anger at the way his friend was just immutable.

At the way he never slipped a hand onto his thigh when he was sitting next to him. And that... that's really daft.

"Regular Albus," he whispered darkly to himself. Albus caught it, though, and rolled his eyes to the ceiling mumbling "Yeah, regular old me" in a mocking tone.

The tap had stopped dripping as if to listen. Now, of all times, when everything had been said already.

"Do you bloody get it now, you git?" Al asked as if he were a slow child. "Everything is really very simple. There's no guilt trip, no... prostitution, no dissociative identity disorder. There is just you, making shit up in your head because you're scared and a bit bonkers... and me."

"Fancying me," Scorpius mumbled, pushing the word a little so it would get out.

Albus inhaled and exhaled audibly. "Yes. Fancying you." He cocked an eyebrow. "What did you think, that I just want to grope you with no feeling behind it? I'm not that desperate, you know."

His heart made stupid little leaps in his chest. "Since when?"

"Third year, I guess," Al said after a contemplative pause. "Right after I dated Kamya for five days or something."

Scorpius made bug eyes at him. Yep. Blind.

"It was never a concrete thing until... uhm." He scratched his ear and looked away. "Til you started hanging out with Rose all the time."

His heart did a double leap. "So you were jealous," he stated more than asked.

Now it was Albus' turn to clench his teeth and say nothing.

And also, you offered to help me out with absolute ulterior motive, you sly son of a-

And you told me to wear a jockstrap. You saw me wearing that.

Goddamn it.

"When you kept asking Rose if she was being honest with me and all that..." He trailed off. Memories came raining down and clicked together. "And then you saw her and me on the pitch on Saturday..." That actually explained why he had seemed so angry with Rose that day, and afterwards.

"I just wanted you to be happy," Al said, voice now very quiet.

Their eyes met.

"I still want you to be happy. I'm sorry, Scorpius. If she had just..." been honest? Al combed a hand through his hair again. "If only she could have-"

Loved you like I do?

"Ah, to hell with it," Scorpius mumbled, walked up to him, cupped and pulled his neck with his hands and pressed his mouth to his.

Oh, they both thought simultaneously, and Fuck.

/

Scorpius was shaking so much that his belt buckle was jingling like a silver bell. Said belt buckle was dangling somewhere between his knees.

Albus' right warm hand milked the last drops from him.

Albus' left warm hand had slid under his shirt and rested over his stomach, occasionally giving a little pressure, irresistibly pulling his whole body closer to his own.

Albus' body was pressed against him. Grinding against him just a little. A very prominent part pressed right up against his backside, through two layers of clothing.

Albus' nose and mouth nuzzled his ear which made his skin prickle in interesting ways. "You have no idea how much I have wanted to do that," he murmured and thrust his hip a little.

"When?" he managed to breathe.

It was probably illegal to kiss someone on the neck like that. There had to be some sort of law and you probably needed a licence for it and be seventeen or get a signature from your parents or something.

"All the time, really," he answered. Scorpius had already forgotten the question.

Al chuckled. "I was so worried you'd feel that I was having a boner and freak out."

Scorpius just made a hmm-sound, suddenly understanding what he had meant that day when he said that he would 'need to use the toilet', and why he had been so blotchy and sweaty in the face afterwards. Blind and stupid, he thought.

But then, Al hadn't wanted him to know, so it was only natural that he hadn't noticed it. After all, Albus knew him better than he knew himself; all evidence pointed to that.

Al knew him so well that he wasn't insisting on him returning the favour just yet because he knew that the thought gave him chills and made him nervous in equal measure. He had gently nudged him toward doing it all the... usual way – with a little extra.

Arching his back a little, causing friction, Scorpius mumbled, "I've had dreams," and Al's laugh rolled over his skin.

"You don't say," he purred. That, and the idea of Al listening in, made a wave of heat run all over Scorpius' body. Embarrassment, but not as mortifying as it had been the last time, and also with something more pleasant mixed in now.

"About you," he continued, voice somewhat husky.

"Ahh," he said, nodding, then skimmed his lips over his skin. "What am I like in your dreams?" he asked, then, with a pointedly sarcastic undertone, "Which one am I?"

Scorpius inhaled a big gulp of air to steel himself, then turned around and pushed him in one fluid motion. Making a surprised noise, Albus stumbled a step and a half backward until his back hit the bathroom stall wall behind him.

Scorpius took a step forward – as gracefully as he could with his pants between his calves – and pushed himself against him, caught his wrists with his hands and pressed them to the wall.

"Kind of like this," Scorpius said and swallowed on a dry mouth. In his dream, something else had happened after that. Something that involved kneeling.

But he couldn't go there.

Not yet.

Al's eyes first widened, then narrowed, and the corner of his mouth curled up to a smirk. He knows. Of course, Scorpius thought, looking to the ground, but then resolved not to be bashful. Not right now. Not with himself, half undressed, pressed up against his body.

And then they kissed. For a long, long time. Softly, firmly, fiercely, carefully. Thoroughly and perfectly.

Nothing more, but nothing less, either.

Yet.

After an indeterminate amount of time, Albus sighed blissfully and slumped against him, encircling him with his arms and resting his head on his shoulder.

It was nicer to be hugged by him when he was sober, Scorpius decided. Less rocking, more melting against him, better distribution of weight. All in all, a better hugging experience. It even allowed him to pull his pants up again, although he didn't bother to pull up the fly, do up the button or the belt.

"What a drama," Albus mumbled against the side of his neck.

"Yes," Scorpius mumbled back. "I am sorry." He meant it.

"'s okay," Al said with another sigh. "Was worth it." He snuggled up against him.

Scorpius thought he could feel his heart swelling in his chest, in a not-unhealthy way.

"And anyway, it'll probably get a bit worse from here, all without your help," Al added, then lifted his head to look him in the eye. "You know we're not going to hide in bathrooms, right?"

"Right," he said immediately before his brain really caught up with his mouth. His stomach knotted when it did.

"It'll be alright," Al said, failing to sound unconcerned for once. It wasn't clear whom he was really trying to reassure.

"Lawless already knows," Scorpius pointed out soothingly, and Al gave a little laugh and a "'course she does" in response.

"And my mum will be alright with it," Scorpius went on, thinking back to her little pep talk during packing, and to the letter.

Someone who listens to you, she had said. Check.

Who is loyal and true – check.

Who will not leave you out in the cold - check.

Who understands you – double check.

Who is willing to go through trials and tribulations, to put up with all of this and still ends up right next to you – triple check.

Who makes you happy.

Scorpius breathed in and out and inhaled the scent of Albus' hair. Al responded by tightening his embrace a little. They fit together so nicely.

Check.

It was like she'd had Albus in mind all along.

"The only thing worse would have been a Potter and I'm thanking the merciful Morgane daily that that girl is way too young for you," Scorpius suddenly heard his father's voice in his head and winced, just as Albus also seemed to shudder a little.

"My dad's going to kill me, though," they both said at the same time, and then laughed nervously.

And then they just decided to kiss some more.

/

/

~Fin~

I am such a sucker for happy endings, yo.

Anyway. Thank you for reading, guys and gals! I know you also want me to be happy (you do, don't you?! *sniff*)... so leave a review, maybe? Or a PM? Any small sign of life will do. Let me know what you think :3

Update: I've written a sequel/spin-off/one-shot-thingy to this story. I know, I know, I normally don't do that and I've said repeatedly that I don't do that. It just happened t_t In my defense, it's really short by my standards. It's currently being beta-read, I'll post it once that is done. *excited face*