A/N: Thank you all so much for the positive feedback! I appreciate it. Hopefully you enjoy chapter 2. I will try to update as soon as i can.
The next day, the funeral preparations were underway. The camp was having a ceremony for Finn in a few hours. Clarke had spent most of last night tossing and turning in bed. She hadn't been able to get much sleep. All she kept seeing was Finn and her own bloody hand. She had spent the morning in her tent, unable to summon the energy to talk to anyone. She finally decided that it was time for her to go out and help with the burial preparations. As soon as she made it to the group, Raven spotted her and started towards her.
"What are you doing here?" Raven yelled at her. "You killed him! You were supposed to save him and you killed him instead!"
Clarke took a step back as Raven got closer to her.
"How could you Clarke? He was your friend!" Raven tried to lunge at Clarke, but was pulled back by Wick and Murphy.
"I am so sorry, Raven. I tried to save him, but it was the only way."
"You promised me that you would save him, but all you are is a murderer! I will never forgive you for this." Raven spat out as she turned around to go back to what she was doing.
Clarke turned around and ran straight into Bellamy, who took her by the arm and steered her over to the side.
"I know you're upset, but she will eventually understand. Just let us handle all of this."
"I betrayed her, and she thinks I betrayed Finn. I don't think she is ever going to understand." Clarke answered with a sigh. "I'm going to go find my mom and see if she needs any help."
She left Bellamy and walked over to her Mother's tent.
In her tent, Abby was going over plans for the upcoming meeting with the Grounders. She looked up surprised to see Clarke.
"Clarke, what are you doing here?"
"I wanted to see if you needed any help. Raven made it pretty clear she did not want me helping with Finn's burial." Clarke bit her lip to keep the tears from falling. "I feel so guilty, mom. All of this happened because of me. Finn was looking for me, and I was the one who killed him." Clarke finishes, her voice breaking.
"Clarke, what you did was give Finn a quick death. It was so much better than what the Grounders would have done to him. You heard what Lincoln said, they would have tortured him and he would have suffered. You ended his suffering. I know it doesn't feel like it, but what you did was very brave, and it showed what a strong leader you are."
"That's what Bellamy told me, but I just can't help feeling so responsible." Clarke walked over and hugged her mom. "I wish this would have ended differently. I really thought we were going to save him."
"I know, and I'm so sorry Clarke, but it was really the best solution."
Abby bristled at the mention of Bellamy. She had noticed how close the two were. Sometimes it scared her how they could communicate without even speaking. She noticed the looks they would give each other. She didn't want her daughter getting hurt again. She had been hurt by so much in her young life, and had suffered so many losses. She was worried about Clarke getting too close to Bellamy. She didn't want her to get hurt again. He was older and very hot-headed. However, she knew Bellamy had protected and even saved her daughter countless times before. She knew, even though she didn't want to admit it, that he could keep her safe. He may just be good for her, she thought, Clarke needed someone on her side, someone to help her through the pain and loss she had suffered lately. If Clarke couldn't come talk to her, then she was glad that there was at least someone else Clarke trusted enough to go to.
A few hours later, the group gathered around to start the memorial and burial for Finn. Clarke stood in the back, holding back the tears she could feel forming. She wanted nothing more than to go up and speak about Finn and all the great things he had done, but she knew it would only anger Raven more. She also didn't know how the other members of the camp would react to the person who killed Finn, speaking about him. So she decided to stand back, watch, and just pay her respects.
She saw some of the campers go up and share some memories they had of Finn, including a tearful Raven, and somber Bellamy. She was glad to see that Finn had made such a positive impact on some of the other campers, and that his last unfortunate decisions hadn't tarnished his reputation too much.
Clarke stood there fighting back tears when she felt fingers brush her hand. She looked over and saw Bellamy standing next to her. He took her hand and squeezed it, all without looking at her. She felt his thumb caressing her hand. She appreciated his support and faith in her. They didn't always see eye to eye, and they hadn't always gotten along, but she was glad he was always there making sure she was alright. In that moment, she realized how much she depended on Bellamy. She leaned on him a lot. He was the only one who understood how hard it was to lead others and to make tough decisions. And even though they butted heads sometimes, they always eventually came back together.
"Thank you." Clarke whispered softly.
Bellamy looked at her and saw the red, tired eyes on his brave partner. She had been through so much and there were going to be even more hurdles coming up soon, and yet she kept on fighting. He admired how she always managed to see the good in people, the good in difficult situations. She never gave up on others. He just hoped she wouldn't give up on herself. He understood why she had done what she did. As a leader he knew you had to make sacrifices in order to protect others. He knew Clarke had done everything she could to save Finn. He was proud of her. She had come a long way. He knew Finn's death would probably haunt her for the rest of her life. He knew what that was like. But he was going to be there for her.
"If you need to talk or anything, come find me, OK? I'm here for you Clarke." He told her softly.
Clarke nodded at him, "I'll see you later at the truce meeting with Lexa and the Grounders."
She slipped her hand out of his and walked away. Her heart hurt for the loss she felt and the guilt she carried, but she had to keep moving forward one step at a time.