Ok so I got the five review minimum I was hoping for with the last chapter, so here is Part 2 of What is and What Never Should Be! Thank you so much XKaterinaNightingaleX, tigereyekum, Engie, Lift the Wings, and the unnamed Guest who reviewed! I'm really happy you guys like the story so much and your reviews help me know if I am keeping the boys true to character. That is always a little hard, especially when you are putting someone as tough on the outside as Dean in an emotional situation. I hope you all like this next part, I'm not sure if I'm 100% happy with it, but here it goes!
Dean was woken up about an hour later by the sound of endless beep. He reached out to hit the snooze button and when his hand hit nothing he sat up quickly, suddenly remembering where he was. His eyes flew from the machine displaying a flat line to Aubri motionless on the bed. He jumped out of the chair just as a group of nurses ran into the room. Before they reached him he had started shaking Aubri, trying futilely to wake her up. "Come on Aubs, wake up! Don't do this!" He pleaded, his voice breaking as she moved lifelessly under his hands.
He felt a set of hands on his arms, pulling him away from the bed, "Sir we need you to leave the room." A small nurse said forcefully. He shook her hands off, eyes still locked on Aubri's still form as nurses and a doctor worked around her. His view was then blocked by the same nurse that had pulled at him. She put her hands on his chest, pushing him back slowly. "Sir you need to go, now."
Dean snapped out of the daze he was in and tore his gaze away as he hurriedly left the room. When he got outside he saw a tired looking Sam and Jessica rushing towards him. "What's going on man?" Sam asked, the worry in his voice more for his brother than the girl in the hospital room he hardly knew. His brother had some strange attachment to the girl and Sam didn't know what he would do if something happened to her.
Dean heard his brother's question, but he didn't answer. He kept his eyes locked on the bustling of the nurses around the bed as they tried to bring Aubri back. This went on for a few minutes, until the doctor uttered the sentence that answered Sam's question that Dean couldn't, "Ok, let's call it."
"Time of death, 5:30 AM."
Dean felt his brother's large hand land on his shoulder, "I'm sorry man."
The doctor from earlier came out of the room and stood in front of Dean, "I'm sorry for your loss." She said, placing a hand on his arm briefly before pulling it back. "Once they clear out of there you can go say your goodbyes." And after saying that she turned and walked away.
Dean watched numbly as the nurses who lingered in the room finished doing what they needed to do with Aubri's body. He was so sure that now that he had found her, now that he had gotten her help, that she would get better, where they would go from there he wasn't sure, but she would be alive. Now he was sure that this place, wherever it was, wasn't right. Sure mom was alive, but he and Sam hardly spoke, all the people they had saved were dead, and now Aubri was gone too. This just couldn't be right.
Finally the nurses cleared out of the room, but it took Sam's hand on his shoulder and a little encouragement to get him to step foot into the room, "We're gonna head back to mom's. Call me if you need anything."
Dean nodded numbly before he slowly walked towards the bed where Aubri's lifeless body was now laying. Her skin was white and her lips had already started to lose their color. Taking in a shaky breath, he stopped at the side of the bed and looked down at his friend, reaching out to take her cold hand into his. He held her small icy hand in between the two of his, his large hands engulfing hers completely. As his jaw worked, clenching and unclenching while he tried to hold back tears, he rubbed his hands over hers. Maybe if he could just get her warm again, she would open her eyes and crack a smile. "Stop being such a sap Winchester." She would say as she laughed and pushed him away from her.
That's when it hit him that she was really gone. She wouldn't harass him and annoy him, she wouldn't get mad at him for worrying about her too much on hunts, she wouldn't laugh, wouldn't smile, wouldn't be the only one to understand his jokes, she wouldn't be anything. He inhaled deeply through his nose as a single tear managed to slip out and trail down his cheek. "I'm sorry Aubs." He whispered, brushing her hair back with one hand, still holding onto her hand with the other as he leaned down and placed a soft kiss to her cold lips. He then gently set her hand down on the bed after giving in a final squeeze as his resolve for what he had to do hardened. "I'll be seeing you Blondie." He said determinedly as he walked out of the room. He knew what he had to do. He just didn't know if it was going to work.
~TFS~
Dean sat in the Impala in the hospital parking lot for about an hour, getting his thoughts together and coming up with a plan. Once he had everything relatively straight in his head, he cranked the key and the engine roared to life as he pulled out of the hospital parking lot and pointed the Impala towards his mom's house. She would have the silver knife he needed; he just had to get in and out and then find wherever that son of a bitch Djinn was hiding out.
When he pulled up in front of the house he cut the engine and slowly walked up the walkway to the front door. Being as quiet as he could manage, Dean picked the lock and slipped inside. He had just started to go through the cabinet where the silver was when he heard someone coming down the stairs. Freezing, he waited until he heard the footsteps come up behind him and after a bat whooshed over his head, he jumped up and threw Sam to the ground. "That was so easy; I'm almost embarrassed for you."
"Dean, what the hell are you doing here?" Sam asked as he got up quickly.
"Well I was looking for a beer." Dean smirked as he patted Sam on the shoulder, remembering the time he had gone into Sam's apartment at Stanford and this same conversation had taken place.
"In the china cabinet?" Sam walked over to the wall and flipped the light switch on, "That's mom's silver."
"Sam…"
"You broke into the house to steal mom's silver?" He crossed back over to stand in front of Dean, "Man, I know your friend just died, but what the hell are you doing?"
"It's not what it looks like ok, I didn't have a choice."
"Oh really? Why? You spend the night in the hospital with some homeless sick girl you are apparently friends with, she dies, and then you suddenly have no choice but to steal mom's silver? What is so important that you have to do that?"
"You want the truth?"
"Uh, yeah, yeah, I do."
Dean hesitated, "I owe somebody money." The lie slipped out so easily.
"Who?" Sam looked exasperated, like he was used to this sort of thing from Dean.
"A bookie," Dean tried to look guilty, "I lost big on a game and he says I've gotta bring him the cash now."
"I can't believe we're even related." Sam said, suddenly sounding really tired.
Dean's throat tightened with emotion, "Sam I'm sorry. I'm sorry we don't get along and I wish to hell I could stay and fix it, but I've gotta do this, people's lives depend on it." He reached down and grabbed one of the knives out of the cabinet.
"What are you talking about Dean?"
"Nothing, forget it, just uh…" Dean stopped trying to figure out the best thing to say here, "hey tell mom I love her." He brushed past Sam and started towards the door.
"Dean." Sam's voice came from behind him.
He turned around slowly, smiling slightly, "I'll see you Sammy." He hoped to god this worked, he needed his brother back and he needed to set things right. He walked out to the Impala, hating that he had to do this. That he had to give up everything he wished for, but he knew it's what his dad would want, and he was nothing if not a good little soldier. The engine rumbled as he turned the key and he sat for a moment, at least his baby would still be the same. Then he heard the door open and shut and he looked over in surprise to see Sam sitting in the passenger seat next to him, just like always. "Get out of the car." He demanded.
"I'm going with you." Sam said determinedly.
"You're just going to slow me down."
"Tough."
"This is dangerous and you could get hurt." Dean tried to reason.
"Yeah and so could you. Look, whatever stupid thing you are about to do, you're not doing it alone, and that's that."
"I don't understand, why are you doing this?" Dean asked.
Sam took in a deep breath, "Because you're still my brother."
It seemed so much like how things used to be, how they were supposed to be, that Dean couldn't stop himself, "Bitch."
Sam's brow furrowed in confusion, "What are you calling me a bitch for?"
"You're supposed to say jerk," Dean explained.
"What?"
"Never mind." He had clearly overestimated the moment. Dean turned to face the wheel and started to drive.
~TFS~
After having to explain to Sam what he was doing and having to avoid Sam taking him to the loony bin for saying monsters were real, Dean pulled up to the abandoned building where the certain monster he was looking for was holed up. Sam had fallen asleep after calming down from what he thought was his brother's psychotic breakdown, so he shone a light on him, startling him awake. "Where are we?"
"Well, we're not in Kansas anymore." Dean chuckled at his joke, but stopped himself when Sam didn't laugh. Even Aubri would have laughed at that one and she thought he was an idiot most of the time. "Illinois."
"And you think something's in there?" Sam's eyes flicked to the building in front of them.
"I know it is." Dean said determinedly. This was where he had gone off by himself, looking for that damned Djinn. He probably should have listened to Sam and gone to get him, but instead he had stupidly told him to keep an eye on Aubs. Like she needed a babysitter. She had proven she could at the very least keep herself alive til he got there to help her.
They got out of the car and walked inside, Dean taking in the familiar surroundings. "See, there's nothing here Dean." Sam's voice came from behind him. "Look, Carmen's gotta be worried sick about you man. Come on Dean, let's just go."
Dean shushed him, "Keep your mouth shut and stay behind me." He commanded, walking forward slowly towards the sound he had heard.
As they rounded a corner, Dean's light landed on two corpses hanging by their wrists, the same two corpses he had seen in his closet. "What the hell is that?" Sam asked
That's when Dean saw the girl that had been following him. She was hanging over to the side, just like the corpses, only less dead. "It's her." He muttered.
The girl started to make sounds, "Dean, what's going on?" Sam asked worriedly.
Dean saw the shadow of the Djinn walking towards them and he pulled Sam into the shadows and they watched the Djinn lull the girl back to sleep before drinking some of her blood. As the blood dripped into the monster's mouth, Sam made a noise of disgust, causing the Djinn to whip around.
Dean pulled Sam to a different spot as the Djinn looked around and then went upstairs. "This is real, you aren't crazy?" Sam sounded terrified.
"She didn't know where she was; she thought she was with her father." Dean thought out loud, not taking his eyes off of the girl. They walked back over to her. "What if that's what the Djinn does, it doesn't grant a wish, it just makes you think it does." None of this was real. This was just something that thing had put in his head while it drained the life out of him. Sam was still out there, Aubri was still alive, he just had to get out of his own head to get back to them.
"Dean please." Sam pleaded.
"I'm like her. I'm tied up in here someplace and all of this is in my head." That realization hit him like a truck. "It must just give us some kind of supernatural acid and it just feeds on us slow."
"Dean that doesn't make any sense." Sam tried to reason.
"That's why she keeps appearing to me. She's not a spirit, I'm just catching flashes of reality. I'm in here somewhere, catatonic, taking all this stuff in, but I can't snap out of it."
"Ok, yeah, you're right, I was wrong, you're not crazy, but we have to get out of here fast." Sam tried pulling him away.
"I don't think you're real." Dean said as he jerked his arm out of Sam's grip.
Sam pushed on Dean's chest, grabbing his jacket and shaking him. "Dude, you feel this, I am real, this is not some acid trip, but we have to get out of here before this thing kills us."
"There's only one way to tell." Dean said, realizing the only way out of this. He pulled out the knife and held it up as Sam backed away from him quickly. "You know there's an old wives tale that says if you're about to die in a dream you wake up."
"That's crazy all right. You're gonna kill yourself."
"Maybe, or I'm gonna wake up. One or the other." Dean's resolve hardened. He was pretty positive this would work, but if it didn't, he wouldn't have to live with knowing that his happiness cost the lives of hundreds of people. That his happiness cost Aubri her life because he wasn't there to help her. He couldn't live with that.
"This isn't a dream. I am here with you, now, and you are about to kill yourself."
"Nah Sam, I'm pretty sure, like, ninety percent sure, but I'm sure enough." Dean said as he brought the knife towards himself.
"WAIT!" Sam's voice stopped him and Dean saw his mom and Carmen and Jessica walk in from the sides. "Why'd you have to keep digging? Why couldn't you have left well enough alone? You were happy."
Then his mom stepped in front of him, "Put the knife down honey."
"You're not real, none of it is." Dean said sadly as he looked down at her.
"It doesn't matter, it's still better than anything you had. We're a family again, let's go home."
"I'll die; the Djinn will drain the life out of me in a couple of days."
"But in here with us it will be a lifetime." She made it sound so appealing. "No more pain, no more fear, just love and safety. Just stay with us."
"You don't have to worry about Sam anymore; you can watch him have a happy life." Jessica added.
Then Carmen came over and kissed him. "We could have a life together Dean, I love you, please."
He looked down at her and thought about how great it would be, but it wouldn't be the life he had with Sam and Aubri. This Sam didn't want anything to do with him and just a little while ago Aubri died. All he wanted was to stay here, but if he did that, those people would stay dead and he would never see Aubri again or have the real Sam back.
"Why is it our job to save everyone? Haven't we done enough? I'm begging you, give me the knife." Sam asked quietly.
Dean looked at all of their faces, but he couldn't help but notice the face that was missing, "I'm sorry." He whispered just before plunging the knife into is stomach.
~TFS~
"DEAN!"
That was the first thing he heard when he woke up. He looked around slowly before his eyes landed on Sam's face. "Auntie Em, there's no place like home." He managed to get out.
"Thank god," Sam said as he looked him over quickly, "I thought I lost you for a second."
"You almost did." He winced as Sam pulled the needle out of his neck, "Where's Aubri?"
"Back at the hotel. She got worried when you weren't back after a while and wouldn't stop telling me to come out here. She said something felt wrong." Sam moved quickly, cutting Dean down. "For once I'm glad she can be such a pain in the ass."
Dean saw a pair of bright blue eyes in the darkness as the Djinn came up behind Sam, "Sam!" he warned.
As Sam struggled with the Djinn, Dean managed to break free of the rest of the ropes and grabbed the knife Sam had dropped. With every ounce of anger he had for that monster he shoved the knife into its back, killing it once and for all. Once the Djinn was down, Dean looked around slowly and he saw the girl. He put a finger up to her neck and felt a pulse, "She's still alive." Sam helped cut her down and Dean cradled her in his arms once she was free. "I've got you, I've got you." He reassured over and over again.
~TFS~
After they dropped the girl at the hospital, they drove back to the hotel. "They think she'll pull through." Sam reassured him as they drove. When all Dean did was nod, he continued, "So how are you."
"You should have seen it Sam, you were such a wuss."
"So we didn't get along?"
"Nah, and Aubri, Aubri died Sammy. Without us, she lived on the streets, got sick and died."
"I thought it was supposed to be some perfect fantasy."
"It wasn't." Dean said shortly, "It was just a wish, I wished for mom to live. Mom never died and nothing was the same."
"I glad you dug out Dean; some people wouldn't have had the strength."
"Yeah, lucky me. But Sam, I wanted to stay; I wanted to stay so bad."
"None of it was real Dean."
"But it felt real. Ever since Dad, all I can think about is how much this job has cost us. We've lost so much, we've sacrificed so much."
"People are alive because of you, it's worth it Dean." Sam tried to reason. "It's not fair and it hurts like hell, but it's worth it."
"Yeah, sure." Dean said, rubbing his hand over his face as they pulled into the parking lot. "Hey Sam, don't say anything to Aubri, you know about her dying."
"Yeah, of course." Sam agreed.
Dean cut the engine and took a deep breath before climbing out of the car stiffly. He opened the door to the hotel room slowly to reveal Aubri pacing back and forth on the other side of the room, chewing on her bottom lip with worry. The door creaked and she turned to look at him, relief flooding her eyes when they landed on him. "Thank god." She whispered.
Dean crossed the room swiftly, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her tightly to him. Her arms wound around his middle in response, holding onto him just as tightly. Dean let out a breath that he didn't know he had been holding and he breathed in the smell of her shampoo. "Hey Blondie." He said softly.
Aubri pulled back slightly and looked up at him, not removing her arms from around him though, "What's gotten into you Winchester?" She asked, smirking slightly.
He opened his mouth to respond with some smartass comment, but was cut off when Aubri jerked out of his arms and put a hand over her mouth, coughing. Dean's brows drew together with concern, memory flashing back to how sick he had seen her in that other world. He grabbed her arms and steered her to the bed, pushing her down on it. "You are going to see a doctor tomorrow." He said, sounding dead serious.
~TFS~
Aubri was breathing soft, even breaths as she slept and Sam was snoring quietly from his place on the floor, but Dean couldn't manage to go to sleep, so he quietly crept outside. He had been sitting on the hood of the Impala, looking up at the sky, for a few minutes when he heard the door creak open and looked over to see Aubri's blonde head poke outside. "Couldn't sleep?" She asked quietly. When he shook his head she stepped all the way outside, blanket wrapped tightly around her. "Do you mind if I join you, or is this a party for one?"
Dean smiled slightly and patted a spot on the hood next to him. "You should be sleeping." He reprimanded as she crawled up next to him.
"You should be doing the same. Don't get bossy with me." She said sassily, eyeing him out of the corner of her eye. Dean laughed quietly, shaking his head. "Are you ok Dean?" Aubri asked quietly. She had been worried about him ever since he had hugged her earlier. Sure it had been nice, the feel of his body pressed against hers, but they didn't really hug. It was kind of an unspoken rule between them, so she knew something had shaken him.
"Yeah, I'm good Aubs." He reached out and ruffled her hair, "Don't worry about me, ok?"
She glared at him as she fixed her hair, "Ok, no worrying happening over here." She leaned back on the hood, looking at him out of the corner of her eye before looking up at the stars. She would always be worrying about Dean Winchester. She didn't know what she would do if something happened to him.
Ok so I hope things didn't get too weird in there for you guys and I hope I did Dean justice. He is my precious little gem and I just worry I don't get him quite right sometimes. As always review at will. I haven't had a chance to start writing the next chapter because I've had 3 tests and a bunch of lab write-ups due this week, but the more reviews I get the more motivated I am to write. If this chapter can get 7 reviews then I will post a chapter by next Saturday guaranteed!