In the Lethe Series 2

by teaandchess

Three years have past after the events of In the Lethe, when Castiel made his choice to save a demon and the Winchesters made theirs to save one other. All that Dean, Sam and Castiel have fought for to save friends, lovers and family has started to fall apart. Old enemies begin to stalk those that they love and so it comes down to a choice. It will always come down to a choice.

5. Cruel (When Angels Darken) Part 1

Summary: Learning about the newest type of monsters coming from Purgatory leads Dean to a drastic move to gain inside knowledge of what has happened. As the monsters begin to gather, a threat to Nyx's life leads to an explosion between Castiel and Meg that will only complicate matters. Thirsty for revenge, Eve sets her new monsters in motion to track down a fascinating prospect: a demon who can create life. (this includes the deleted scene 'Time')

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Part 5: Cruel (When Angels Darken)
Part 1

There was a lingering sense of decay in the hospital that unsettled Dean as the hours crawled by. Even though he felt the drugs making him groggy and tired, he just couldn't get comfortable so he shifted constantly on the bed, struggling to get comfortable. Trying to ignore that growing unease he felt as his body protested lying still for so long.

Dean thumped his pillow hard and settled back down.

He hadn't wanted to tell Sam about how he actually felt but he suspected his brother was seeing through him. It was easy to admit to being a little scared but now it was more than just that. The idea that he was vulnerable to something so domestic and simple as a heart attack was terrifying. Demons, monsters, angels? He'd survived them all but now it turned out his body might be his own worst enemy.

Absently rubbing at the IV on the back of his hand, he looked out and saw his brother's shadow moving through the ward behind the drawn curtain. Sam likely had persuaded the night nurses to let him keep watch, and Dean smiled a little. It meant that maybe he could sleep since Sam would watch over him. Involuntarily his hands fell slack on his stomach and he had to rest his head back down as it seemed to become too heavy to keep upright. The medication dragged him deeper under that blissful haze and he sighed, closing his eyes.

The slow steps of someone walking by his bed made him sleepily look to the side, expecting another nurse coming to check in on him.

"Hello, Dean," a low voice drawled before chuckling with a low grating sound. A laugh he'd never dreamed of hearing again. Groaning, Dean opened his eyes wider and gasped as he saw a familiar, craggy face staring down at him.

"Dad?" He stared into John Winchester's eyes and knew he had to be hallucinating.

"What have you been up to?" John asked in an eerily calm way, and Dean felt as if his father was about to explode on him for doing something wrong.

"What are you doing here?"

John's eyes flickered a little. "Can't a father be worried about his kids? Come down to earth and guard over them like an angel would?"

Dean was aware of the growing itch in his skin and the way his heart started to pound harder than it should. "You're dead."

"You nearly were too. If it weren't for that real angel, Dean, you'd be dead as anything in that forest. Then where would Sammy be? He'd think you'd left him once and for all," his father said as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"I'd never leave Sam alone."

"I hope not. I'm disappointed in you, Dean. You know better than to leave him behind."

Dean felt a shocking sting of tears he didn't expect at his father's scolding, and the gnawing doubt that only his father had been able to guilt him with. That in the end, he would fail completely. "Go away."

"The angel saved you again, huh?" John leaned forward a bit. "Where is the angel, Dean? Maybe he should take care of Sam instead."

Drugged as he was, Dean knew that his father wouldn't be this calm. Especially not about angels. Like Dean had at first, John would have thought of it as some sort of strange creature that couldn't be trusted and needed to be killed. His father should have been angry with him but he'd never say something like this. He'd given him one job and that was to stick around to protect Sam as best as he could. He'd trusted Dean to take care of his little brother.

Eyes struggling to focus, he saw John leaning over him. "Dean, where is the angel? Come on, son, you know I'm just worried."

Dean flashed back to a time years ago when his father had acted so different than everything he knew about him.

"He'd be furious."

"What?"

"That I wasted a bullet. He wouldn't be proud of me, he'd tear me a new one. You're not my Dad."

"You're not my dad," Dean repeated in a hoarse whisper and he managed to scrunch his fingers into a fist, aiming weakly at the spectre. The hand that caught his was ice cold and clammy, and it tightened until he was sure his wrist was going to break.

The eyes went turned a swirling yellow and the mouth twisted into a smirk that was nothing like John Winchester. "What a smart boy you are."

He shoved Dean back on the bed and straddled him, sitting heavily on his stomach so it was hard for him to breathe, hard for him to move. No matter how Dean struggled and tried to roll free, his father shoved a pillow over his mouth and pushed down hard. Tasting something like sulphur and blood in his mouth, Dean thrashed and grabbed hold of the strong arms holding the pillow over his face. His lungs started begging for air and his heart banged harder and harder in his chest, until that painful clench came back and he knew it was going to happen again.

His heart couldn't take this and his body felt like it was screaming. Dean opened his mouth to scream into the pillow over his face.

"You always were such a disappointment, Dean."

His cries were muffled and he heard his father laughing at him but he couldn't throw him off.

"Little Sammy is next."

"No!"

The more he fought, the more lightheaded he became as his father held him down and smothered him. At the same time, another pair of hands was grabbing onto Dean's arms and starting to pull up while his father pushed down his arms. He clung to the other hands, hoping they were going to help him, and prayed that he wasn't about to die. That this was just a dream and if he tried hard enough he would wake up.

"Dean?"

The rough mixture of Azazel's and John's voice kept him desperate to live. "You and your friends are going to die, Dean, and there's nothing you can do to stop it."

"Dean."

"No!"

"Dean… Dean!" Sam shook him gently and Dean gasped as he came to, still clutching his brother's arms and fighting to breathe.

It took him only seconds to focus on Sam's face and he took in a deep breath.

"Sammy?"

"Yeah, you okay?"

Dean slumped back and groaned the moment his head hit the pillow. His hands were shaking and he quickly grabbed fistfuls of the blanket to control them. "God, that was a dream."

"You were yelling up a storm. Must have been some dream." Sam gave him a crooked smile and nodded at the rolling tray he'd pulled up beside the bed. "I went to get some jello for you. Nurse said you could have it."

"Not hungry," Dean muttered. "I thought it was the night shift and you'd be kicked out."

"Yeah but the male nurse here thinks I'm pretty. I'm not above using my good looks to get in here to look after you," Sam teased and sat down beside him as Dean tried to shift around on the bed. Even though the nightmare had been so vivid, it was already starting to fade with the nature of dreams. He was exhausted and it was a struggle to really keep his eyes open. Sam checked the monitors and then looked back at Dean's still pale face. "So how're you feeling?"

"Like I've done a few rounds too many."

"You look like it too."

"Bitch." Dean's half-hearted insult made Sam smile as he picked up the bowl from the tray. Dean glanced around his curtain enclosed bed. "I thought I heard Cas earlier. He hanging around?"

"I called him and told him how you were. He's keeping an eye on things for us." Sam spooned a handful of watery jello towards his brother. Dean stared at the blue goop suspiciously the closer it came to his mouth.

"I don't want that."

"Come on, Dean. Here comes the airplane," Sam tried in a high-pitched voice and his brother's green eyes shot him a glare for the wise-crack. He shrugged and waved it closer to Dean's mouth. "Worth a shot."

"I'm not dumb enough to fall for that, Sam, and I'm not dying."

"Good thing, I'd have to kick your ass if you were." When Dean obstinately turned his head the other way, Sam shrugged and popped the spoon into his own mouth. His mouth downturned at the sour flavour and he choked a little as he swallowed the jello down. "That is disgusting."

"Give me a burger any day," Dean said wearily and closed his eyes.

"Well, according to the doctor, those are off the menu for you." Sam saw his brother's eyes open again and he grinned at the desperate look that crossed his face. "Welcome to clean and healthy living, Dean."

"Oh God." Dean's head rolled on the pillow with a solid thump. "Just kill me now."

"Yep. Sucks to be you." Sam continued to finish off the jello. "Kevin's at the bunker, eh? He texted me."

"With Cas?"

Sam shrugged. "And Meg and Nyx."

"So Cas can come back and give me a jolt and we're back to normal, huh?" There was a hint of hope in his brother's voice.

"Dean." Sam reached out and touched his shoulder. "Cas can't heal you."

"What?" Dean looked at him. "But he always could. This… this isn't a big thing."

"This is not just stitches and blood, Dean. This is a big thing and he can't help us. Whatever we did to ourselves, if it is anything as deep as this then it's not going to be as easy." Taking a breath, Sam looked at the bowl in his hands and voiced the thought that had been bothering him since Castiel had left the hospital. "I think it's not only a heart attack but the spell we used. It's affecting you. So it looks like you have to do things the old fashioned human way. Rest."

"This sucks." Dean looked at the heart monitor attached to his finger and wiggled it. "Really sucks." He glanced over at where Sam was still eating the jello. "Are you goin' to finish that?"

---

Something about Meg had changed now that she had recovered that hidden part of her so completely, and Kevin wondered if he was the only one who noticed. It was a small change, since she just as 'dark' as before, but there was a feeling of reservation lingered around her. It was as if she had become so used to being hidden that she didn't want to give it up.

She hid what she was feeling so well. But the slightest tics revealed more than just what the meatsuit let slip by. On the surface, it was in the wary looks she'd watch every movement with, but underneath that there was something even more dangerous than before about her. It made Kevin's skin crawl.

He knew she wanted to find him, had heard her storming about upstairs until finally she'd stomped down the stairs. Aware of Meg as she came into the main room and headed for the table, Kevin nervously poured a double shot of scotch and quickly took his seat. The closer she came, the more he was glad he was sitting; the table hid his shaking knees under the table.

When he really looked at her, in a way he never explained to anyone else, he could see the faint signs of a demon now. It had been so well hidden by Castiel before that to see it again was startling. Kevin cleared his throat and managed a tense grin.

"So you're full-on demon again?" he asked and Meg stopped at the head of the table.

"Never stopped being that, did I?"

"You know what I mean. You're back to being Meg."

"Sort of."

Kevin blinked. "Sort of?"

"Not all is right in Megsville, Kevin. Big surprise." She shook her head. "So you knew all that time, of course."

"Mom and I said we'd protect you." He kept his voice hard, determined to hide the grief, and he noticed how her eyes darted all over his face as if seeing it anyway.

"I am sorry about her, Kev," she said and she pulled up a chair to sit across from him. "She was a friend to me and demons don't get a lot of those."

"Don't. Meg, just don't. I don't want to think about it." He chortled a little; he was trying to laugh but couldn't find the energy. "I mean, I had once dreamt about losing her years ago. I guess, because of you, I had three more years of her than I would have had before." Something hardened in his face. "Though, because of you all, I lost her too."

"Azazel was always pretty brutal," Meg muttered and saw his head tip back abruptly. They stared at each other and she realized, now with her memory back in order, that there was little about this young man that resembled the boy she'd met years ago.

"Azazel? Is that who did it?"

"Don't look at me for answers, kid. I only heard rumours," she admitted carefully. She wasn't sure how much the prophet knew. Sam hadn't been too clear on what had happened to Kevin over the years, and even though he had visited his mother she hadn't known that much about him. Hadn't really cared, she admitted. He'd been the vagabond son of her landlady who her daughter just happened to adore.

But of all of them, Meg surprisingly sympathized with Kevin. She knew what it felt like to be stuck in the middle of something like this and be lost. What it felt like to be chained to something you couldn't control. There was no way he was unchanged by it all.

"I should have had a vision or something about that, right? But I didn't. Lot of good being a prophet does for me." He seemed to shrug it off and eyed his glass. "I'm gonna get another drink. Want one?"

As he walked to the liquor cabinet, Meg watched him down the rest of his first glass and grab two more. Arching an eyebrow, she eyed his gaunt body sway just a little. He was so small compared to Sam that she would have thought he'd be at least tipsy, but the double he'd poured himself didn't seem to have any real effect. Kevin had the haggard and bleary look of someone who drank routinely and Meg noticed how much that aged him.

"Castiel said you knew something about me and Nyx," Meg said when he turned back around with a bottle in his hand.

"Did he?" Setting a tumbler before her, he poured out nearly half a glass before he shrugged and poured his own. "I see a lot of things." Kevin swirled his own newly poured drink and sat down again with a loud thump. Rolling back in the chair, he put his legs up on that table and tried to look casual. "How's Nyx?"

"Scared and confused."

"Can't blame her," he said before sipping at his drink. Meg saw his eyes squint a little at the strength of the liquor but admirably he didn't really flinch. "Kid finds out mom is a demon and Cas probably let her know he's her dad, right?" At her nod, he grimaced. "There's better ways for kids to find out who their parents are."

Glaring at the table, he huffed and took another drink. "A lot better ways."

"So what went through prophet vision?" the demon asked and Kevin shrugged.

"Wasn't important."

The sound of the glass shattering made him look up to see her staring at him, her eyes black and nearly hypnotic. The ruined glass was in pieces with amber liquid dripping on the antique table, but Kevin couldn't look away from her. Meg's eyes went back to normal but there was no mistaking the warning she was giving him. "You even think about lying to me, I'll rip your spine out."

He swallowed. "I…"

"Don't try what you try on the Winchesters or Castiel either. I'm a demon; our first lessons are how to lie. What are you seeing?" She leaned across the table. "Now."

Kevin couldn't keep a slight tremor out of his voice. "Nyx. I…I had dreams about her, about the hellhounds."

The demon's hands clenched into fists on the wood. "You knew it would happen and you still put my daughter in danger?"

"She wouldn't have been harmed!" he insisted. "But it had to play out like that! Everything had to go as I saw it!"

"You saw everything."

"I knew where I had to be because Castiel was going to be there. I knew I had to be there to witness."

"Witness?" Meg's brow furrowed deep in confusion. He wasn't making any sense to her and she wondered if Kevin even understood himself.

"Every major moment of Nyx's life has to be witnessed. The hellhounds were a turning point. They represent danger. I just don't think God realized you'd be there to kill them. In the vision—" His eyes rolled back in his head as he thought about it, voice taking on an almost droning monotone and he missed the way her face turned mask-like and cold "—what I saw was Nyx. The visions were so clear what has to happen. Maybe when all of her blocks and walls start to fall, we can finally see what she really is. When we finally figure it out, I think our world might change because of her."

"Oh?" Meg stood up. "And what is that?"

"I don't know, Meg, I only get glimpses and I can't even tell you what that means to me because I just don't know." He cleared his throat. "But God spoke to me. It is because of God I have to do what I have to do. I just never wanted Nyx harmed. Or you."

The demon stared down at him and he felt real fear. Castiel was restrained by angelic law to never hurt him, the Winchesters had their own codes to live by but Meg… Meg was dangerous. If she saw a threat she would kill him without another thought. It didn't matter that they had been able to get along in the past or even if she liked him. Meg lived on a different set of rules and if she was fully revived she wouldn't forget that.

"If anything happens to my daughter, and you are responsible, I'll kill you."

"I know." He stared back into her eyes bravely and watched her nod.

"Good. Long as we're clear." She braced on the table and forced him to hold her stare. "But right now, I'm not sure I trust anyone."

She turned and left him and Kevin leaned back once she was gone, unable to stop himself from heaving a sigh of relief. The sensation that he had just escaped with his life wasn't unfamiliar. It happened often enough in the past few years.

But just as soon as he closed his eyes, he heard the voices whispering to him. The sort of celestial murmuring that had begun weeks ago when he'd been hitchhiking. All telling him how best to serve God's will. How he could make them all see if he just obeyed, how he could help them all.

He had never forgotten how he had met God and Death, how it had felt to be in their presence, and it was why he stayed so close to Nyx now when he had the opportunity. Something about her made him feel like he was close to something powerful and he hoped it would give him some direction. He knew he had to wait in the bunker for the next course of visions to come true.

Kevin had been fighting so hard against the visions, that it was a relief now to whisper yes and let new purpose course into him with each breath he took.

---

Meg wasn't sure what she had been expecting.

The books in the archives revealed nothing useful to what she wanted to know. No cornerstones of revelation or some demonic prophecy that screamed of what could be. No ancient tome written by humans or prophets told her any great secret that she didn't already know. That was the problem with being a demon her age: nothing could surprise her. She wanted to find some sort of answer and it looked like today was not her day.

As meticulously as the Winchester's library was kept, in alphabetical order and subject, after half a day of searching she was ready to burn the entire bunker down out of frustration. Judging by the leftover odours of charred paper and burnt wood, Meg thought to herself, that may have happened already. Both Sam and Castiel had hinted, briefly, that something had happened when the demons had penetrated the otherwise warded bunker because of a betrayal. She didn't have all the details on that and hadn't cared either.

The library was useless to her.

Finding out they still had the demon holding cell, kept in almost identical condition to when she had been there, hadn't made staying in the bunker much easier.

Thankfully it wasn't hard to avoid that place and the memories it held within its ward-painted walls.

If only Nyx hated it here but the little girl seemed to enjoy the vast halls of the bunker and the many ways she could find something to do. The only reason why Meg hadn't lost her yet was because she found the darker corners scary and childishly Nyx was afraid of being too far from Meg or Kevin. It didn't stop her from finding all the places she could to try to jump out at either of them.

Meg had heard Kevin yelp a few times when Nyx had startled him and had the suspicion that it wasn't just pretend either.

Besides Nyx, Meg wasn't sure that leaving was an option. She didn't have any money left — she figured that Castiel had lifted that from her —, the Winchesters had locked their weapons up, Sam had the Impala, and she just knew….

The demon groaned and rubbed at the back of her neck. There was something that nagged at her, made her feel too weary to run and hide. The novelty of was dead for her. Knowing Crowley, he'd have every hellhound and demon out there looking for her and Nyx and the risk was too high.

Meg had never expected to actually be protective over a child.

Sinking her teeth into her lip sharply, she checked the scrawls Sam had written in his journal from three years ago. He hadn't locked his notes up as tight as the more delicate editions and, like any demon, Meg knew that knowledge was a good enough weapon. She grabbed a book he had referenced from a high shelf and began to flip through it while she walked down the hall to the table. A strange little codex on demons, Meg thought, but judging by the blood stains on its pages someone had went to a lot of effort to retrieve the book from its original owner.

The paper slit across her thumb when she turned the page and she sucked at the tiny wound, tasting sulphur and smoke from her blood. A few drops fell on the page and Meg read quickly the words the blood smeared on. Demons and angels, an entire chapter on someone's thoughts and despite herself Meg was actually interested in what some old Man of Letters thought of her kind. As she continued to read she realized that the original author was one of those unfortunate few who bordered on the insane and the prophetic. Which meant this book might actually tell her something she needed.

The writer bordered on rambling and the only thing that made real sense to her were the Biblical quotes. Meg herself had had a hand in influencing a few later editions of the Bible when she was travelling with Azazel, just to see what the humans would do. The results had been, to her, hilarious.

Considering what she was reading, Meg thought that maybe this writer took too much of it into theory and belief.

Skimming over the paragraphs about how demons were likely products of nephilim or how the angels had descended at one time for the only purpose of siring supernatural children to fight demons, she turned a page and began to mutter aloud when the title caught her interest. Quotations on nephilim were scrawled around the central points and always as a foot note was there some theory that the writer had.

"… when the sons of God came in to the daughters of man and they bore children to them. These were the mighty men who were of old, the men of renown. The Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. …

Meg wrinkled her nose. Hell, she hated the Bible's pretentious crap sometimes. Rolling her eyes, she sighed and focussed on the writer's notes scribbled in the margins.

"What if it is possible that these creatures existed? That our greatest warriors have been nephilim or some other abomination? The only answers would lie with the angels but they are not allowed to walk the Earth."

"Boy, buddy, do you have it wrong," Meg muttered.

"I can only picture these creatures as monsters. Horrible and hideous creations because..."

Without real conscious thought, Meg looked up to see Nyx racing through the archives. She was carrying a book almost as large as herself and she kept tripping over her own feet and bumping into the shelves. Kevin was following behind her, begging her to give him back his book, and the loud giggles actually made Meg smile a little.

"Oh, yeah sure," she said. "Really monstrous. It shows."

Though, if she had to be a little honest, Nyx wasn't a nephilim in the way humans would expect. Despite the meatsuits that had conceived her, underneath her body and straight to her core, Nyx was different. As the sounds faded when Nyx and Kevin ran to the common room, Meg sighed and continued to read as she made her way to the end of the long table. A large stack of books on half-blood creatures and demons were starting to teeter over. Cocking her hip to the side, she leaned on the table and as she read she began to curl a strand of hair around her finger.

"Why are you reading books on nephilim?" Castiel's voice made her jump, his sudden appearance across from her causing a brief rush of power between them when she reacted. She even raised her hand and turned a little, old instincts waking up to possible danger, but all he did was look up from the books he'd been glancing over to stare at her. The innocent interest in his expression made her more suspicious.

"Don't have much else I can do."

"Mm." He tilted his head as he scanned the titles. "None of these would be very accurate. They are all speculation. From what I have learned, some humans can see one thing look at another and assume that there must be something deeper in that connection."

Meg clicked her tongue and set her book down. "That's humans for you."

"I suppose you would know. You were one for longer than I ever was. Naturally too."

The demon could have sworn he was teasing her because there was a slight lift to the corner of his lips. Realizing that rocked her enough off-balance that she just stared across at him. The Castiel she knew with frightening intimacy wouldn't try that when he knew they were still on shaky ground.

Would he?

"How could I forget that?" she pointed out. "I'm trying to understand about Nyx. See if there's something I can even get a hint on. But it just seems like your Pops wasn't fond of the Nephilim idea."

"The Bible is subjective and you know that." Castiel shrugged and checked the cover of what he was reading. "The time of Nephilim was well past His interest in the world. It was likelier that the Archangels planted those ideas in humans' minds."

"Angel-human babies would be up there in their problems. Still, Nyx's not a normal one anyway so I guess these books are useless, huh?" Meg rubbed at the back of her neck in frustration. Castiel flipped through a few pages and shrugged.

"Very." His eyes slid from the pages to her face and he seemed to be looking for something. "Has she ever shown signs of what she is? What she can do? Like how she was when you were carrying her?"

"Not really. She's quiet."

"Mm."

"Stop saying 'mm' as if you have nothing better to say," she snapped irritably. "I'm not liking staying here, waiting on the edge for something to happen and I bet you know it. It's going to drive me crazy." She thought about that. "Crazier."

"What makes you think you are already crazy?" He was staring at the book again, mouthing the Latin words and shaking his head.

"I'm still here, aren't I?"

"That doesn't mean you are crazy," Castiel said without looking up. "If anything, it gives me some hope that you and I can come to terms."

"Oh yeah? Think I'll just fly into your arms and beg you to fuck me up against a wall so we can pretend we can still get along? Even if it just for sex?"

She meant it as a joke but he blinked at her coarseness. "No. I would never expect that. It simply gives me some hope that we can protect Nyx together."

He put the book back to the top of the stack and his fingers brushed a piece of construction paper sticking out from one of the books. Carefully, he eased the battered book out and flipped it open to see what it was. One of Nyx's drawings, more of a scribble than anything, that Meg had left to mark her place was scrunched up in between the pages. Meg watched his face as he looked at the scribbly clouds and the yellow dot bees, and noticed the faintest lift to the corner of his mouth.

"She likes to draw."

"Keeps her quiet. I think it is how she remembers things sometimes." Meg looked down and missed how Castiel ran his fingers over the page.

"Her imagination is remarkable, Meg. Angels aren't taught to be creative. We are soldiers and it would have been discouraged."

Meg shrugged. "Not like demons are expected to be artsy either, you know, except if it is for doing Hell's work. Most creative I ever got was the best way to break every bone in a human in ten seconds or less. Always wondered if I could break my own record and there have been humans around lately."

His head lifted abruptly and she looked at him, unable to help the smirk from lighting up her features. He held her gaze for a moment and then looked back down. "Does Nyx read?"

"A little. She's still pretty young."

"Write?"

"Draws. She's a whiz at Parcheesi too," Meg said to try to prickle him but Castiel was absorbing it all as if it was the most serious conversation he had had in a long time.

"Does she…"

Crossing her arms over her chest, she cleared her throat. "Why the interest?"

"She's mine as well. I'd like to know everything about her." He folded the paper up and reached into his coat pocket. Meg heard the jingle of something in there but instead of anything that could make such a noise he pulled out a small journal. He pressed the scrap of paper between the threaded pages and she frowned in confusion.

"Since when do you keep a diary or is this a 'Castiel's bucket list' thing?"

"I did understand that reference." He kept his attention on the book and Meg rolled her eyes.

"I'm shocked."

"I started using this a few years ago. It helped me." He tucked the book back in his coat before he looked at her. "I think it is best I let Nyx adjust to the idea of who I am."

Meg shrugged. "Kid didn't have a dad for three years, Castiel. If you want me to give you answers, you're barking up the wrong tree. You might not have all the time in the world."

"You're still here," he pointed out. "You've not tried to run again. I think I can hope that I will have time. With her and with you."

Meg fidgeted at the way he stared at her across the table and turned away. "Don't think too hard on that. I don't have anywhere else to be and Nyx likes it here. That's it."

When she looked up, he was in front of her again and this time a few steps closer than she liked. He wore the same look she knew from three years ago, the sort of calm stare when he wanted to know something and expected her to answer him. She recognized it in the crease of his forehead and the narrowing of his gaze, in the way he leaned in a little too close and tried to make it seem like he didn't know he was doing it.

"How is your memory?" Castiel asked.

"Foggy on the details for some things." Pushing her hair over a shoulder, she looked away. "What about yours?"

"I have an eidetic memory." He reached out and touched her neck while he brushed a bit of archive dust from her skin. Meg's body went a little rigid under the contact as the back of his fingers brushed her skin and then went to her shoulder. She glanced down at his hand but he kept his hand where it was. "But some things still feel like the first time."

His thumb pushed down a little on the top of her shoulder and she looked back up at him.

"We can go right back to the beginning then. Start over? You want to go stand in the middle of a fire, tell me not to trust an angel and then throw me down in the flames?" Her eyes glinted dangerously and she stepped forward. "We can see how it all plays out again now that I know the ending."

He didn't back down from her attempted sarcasm. "There were other things about that moment that may be pleasant to re-enact."

The slow and silky way he said it made her blink a few times, sure she had heard him wrong, and she studied him warily. "Are you… are you flirting with me?" she asked, for once unsure of herself as he studied her in return. The memory of that moment years ago was sharp and clear: of the glow of the Holy Fire, of the hot press of him against her as he held her and his mouth came seductively close to hers. The longer she looked into his eyes, the more obvious it became that he was remembering it as well.

Suddenly, Castiel backed up and shrugged. "Anything is possible."

Meg watched him walk away towards the front of the bunker as she leaned back on the table for support. He didn't glance back and she was disturbingly aware of his absence. It made her uneasy as she realized that there might be more about Castiel that had changed than she had first thought.

---

Castiel had the urge to go immediately to the Winchesters after his brief talk with Meg, needing to find comfort in their friendship while making certain Dean and Sam were both fine. That Dean was recovering and that he wasn't about to die from his bad heart.

There was just something in him that was holding him back now. In a way, he felt torn between his duties. He wanted to watch over the Winchesters but he also wanted answers and wanted to know if what he felt was unusual. For an angel like his brothers and sisters maybe it was, but he had never been a normal angel; he knew that now after all these years. He wanted to talk to someone who had also had to try to recover what he had lost and someone who knew him with more intimacy than any human or demon could ever imagine.

As his form shifted and slipped through the barriers, Castiel felt the familiar warmth and grace of Heaven bathe over him in welcome. But though the brightness was familiar, he had never come here before to this area of Heaven. It belonged to someone who he knew would not want to see him and had all reason to reject him. There had never been a place for him here and it had been clear years ago he might never be welcome. Even when the souls of Heaven had fought, he hadn't sought him out to thank him. He had left him alone.

But now he wanted to — needed to — try to find a way to bring the world to rights and Jimmy Novak was a way for him to try to understand.

The pristine white paint and the wrap-around veranda was reminiscent of the Pontiac house. This quiet home on the suburban street was identical to the one he could remember leaving that night long ago when he had taken the vessel. He could even smell the fresh paint and flowers that had lingered that day and Castiel could swear he could feel the warm comfort of this place .

He hadn't cared at the time but now he realized why Jimmy had loved it so much. It was a place that his vessel had loved, where he had loved and been loved, and he felt safe there with his family.

Standing on the first porch step, Castiel watched the front door open and his mirror double stepped out in the warm glow of the porch-light. Jimmy was laughing and holding a young girl in his arms while she clung to his neck. The sight made the angel stop where he was and watch the laughter and love between them with a mixture of curiosity and grief.

Jimmy looked not a day older than the day Castiel had taken him years ago with promises and a mission, before they had been joined together in a wash of brilliant light. Gone was the fanatical gleam in his eyes and his voice that had first been there when Castiel had spoken to him. There was no more of the exhausted frustration Jimmy had shown when he had realized just what he had committed to, or the whimpering pleas for the sake of saving his family.

Jimmy was carrying his Heaven's version of Claire around as she pointed at the flowers of the garden, the fireflies, and the wind chimes her mother had left out. He looked so happy that Castiel took a step back, ready to fly off to avoid what he had been about to do. Turning about, he tried to ignore Claire's laughter as he readied himself to go before he was seen.

"Castiel." The voice, higher than his, called out. Though Jimmy was far less powerful, just that call held the angel still for a few moments before Castiel turned. Across the front yard their eyes met and slowly the smile on Jimmy's lips left as he put his daughter down. "Go back and see your mom, Claire. I'll be right in."

Castiel knew, as any angel would, that Jimmy Novak constantly relived the time he had pretended to be sick and stayed home with his family; it had been something he had just he wanted to do and he had loved that memory. It had been the happiest day for him in his entire life. No cares, no responsibility. Just him, his daughter and wife, a large house of warmth and laughter. He lived the day over and over again, constantly aware that he was dead and it was just his dearest wish granted, and he was content with that. Even when he had gone to War within Heaven, Jimmy had come back to this time, this place.

Except seeing Castiel standing there clearly made him forget his happiness judging by the frown.

"Castiel," Jimmy repeated after the door closed behind Claire.

"Hello, Jimmy." Castiel tucked the overcoat close around his chest to occupy himself, aware of the way his double looked him over.

"You went back to the coat. I thought you'd change it up after being human."

The absurd statement made Castiel look down at himself. "It fits what I am, I think."

"Just a coat, Castiel. I was never fond of it." Jimmy leaned back against the support post. "What do you want?"

He debated on lying, saying it was mere curiosity about how the human soul had been. But Jimmy had been with him for a long time before his release. He would know, better than anyone, when Castiel lied.

"I came to you because I thought…"

"That I would help you somehow?" Jimmy's eyes were cold ice. "That's a lot to ask. You took my body. It is only because of God that I was released in the first place from you."

"I'm sorry. When we first made our agreement, it was to just be until it was over." Castiel bowed his head.

"When will you learn that it will never be over?" Jimmy leaned back on the railing. "I stopped caring when I left my body, Castiel. I heard all the rumours, when the angels passed through before, but I am happy here for the first time in years."

"I understand your sacrifice now," Castiel said and the soul's eyes softened a little.

"Yeah, I bet you do." He glanced over his shoulder at his family in the window. " I just never really expected you to take it so far to have a daughter yourself." The human laughed and he actually sounded amused. "The irony was just that you don't have the excuse of being human at the time. An angel… an angel went out and felt something other than obedience. Never thought you had it in you."

The angel sighed. "Neither did I."

"So why come to me?" Jimmy was staring at him again. "I can't help you."

"I didn't come for help." He glanced over Jimmy's shoulder at the illusion Heaven was playing.

Eyes just as blue as Castiel's sparked knowingly. "You wanted to see how I saw my family. How I felt about leaving them. What'd you learn?"

Castiel looked at the vessel he wore and smiled a little. "That we aren't as different as we first seemed."

The soul looked him over closely.

Jimmy had experienced everything alongside Castiel; from the day Castiel had taken his body and knew the sensation of being reduced to such a small physical form, Jimmy had been there. When he had first met Dean, Sam, Bobby and the others, even when he first met Meg, Jimmy had watched quietly, a quiet participant bound to a fiery comet of Grace and power. He had felt the way the angel's emotions had been so conflicted over all of them. He had felt Castiel's love and fear and those two emotions had always been what confused the celestial being the most.

His first meeting with Meg had been the most troubling, even compared to meeting Sam Winchester or Lucifer. Jimmy knew, the way only a soul chained to such an angel ever could, that Meg had thrown Castiel off balance from that first meeting and it had never stopped. Hate had turned to attraction; there was always such a fine line between those emotions and Castiel had plunged over it when he saw something worth loving.

It wasn't the first time nor would it be the last time something like that had happened.

"No. We're not. We were willing to fight and sacrifice for what we loved," Jimmy finally admitted. Tugging on the hem of his shirt, he looked over his shoulder at where he could see Claire and Amelia in the living room. "I don't regret what I did. I regret not saying a goodbye to them, but I don't doubt they knew I loved them enough to let the angels use me. Let you use me."

When he turned around, Castiel was gone and Jimmy smiled wryly as he stared at the spot the angel had left. "Oh, Castiel, I don't think you ever once expected things to turn out so differently."

He leaned back and took a look around his Heaven with a contented smile. Years ago, he had fought being pulled away from his family, from his rightful place in the world; fought it with everything in him when he had learned what Castiel was capable of. But after the War of Souls in Heaven… now he was content. It didn't matter that his every move was watched by angels or that this wasn't real. He was content to wait until his family joined him as inevitably they would.

---

It was several days before Dean's medication was eased a little and he was more capable of moving around. It gave Sam enough time to ask Castiel to take him back to the bunker to get the Impala and a change of clothes for his brother for when he was released. The angel's need for a distraction had been obvious and Sam hadn't questioned it anymore than Castiel asked questions about Dean. It seemed like between them the less said the better.

Not that Sam knew much about Dean's condition. The doctors had given Sam a hazy but over-simplified version of what was wrong, even said that they needed to run more tests, but he knew whatever was in their medical texts wouldn't explain a damn thing. He could feel the ache and he could feel how his own body temperature had risen a little. The truth was that the cure for Dean was going to take someone with much more power and knowledge to figure out. The soul spell was starting to finally die and they'd spent years fighting their enemies instead of figuring out how to fix the damage that the trials had done to Sam and, inevitably, Dean.

Now that he had time – too much time — Sam spent the hours in the waiting room reading what books he had brought with him and sleeping in the plastic chairs, always ready in case he was needed. When the nurses let him into the room to watch over Dean, he sat in an uncomfortably lumpy chair and read a dry and dusty tome. He was scanning through the last pages when he noticed Dean starting to shit around after a nap.

"Wakey wakey, sunshine," Sam said with a grin, licking his thumb and turning the last page.

"Sam?" Dean swung his legs to the side and sat on the side of the bed, dizzily focussing on the floor. At the nauseous look on his face, Sam set his book to the side and grabbed his arm to keep him steady.

"You need something?"

"Mind—" Dean stopped himself, shook his head, and refocused on the tiles again as he cleared his throat. "Mind getting me something to drink?"

"Yeah, sure." Bewildered a bit by the quiet way Dean had asked, Sam pushed up and cleared his throat. "Want a nurse?"

"Nah. My throat's just dry, I don't want to bother them."

Dean waited until Sam was gone before he looked directly at the corner of the room. "Come on out, Cas."

The angel materialized instantly and at Dean's steady stare he took the seat Sam had jus left. The hunter turned around and propped himself up on the pillows to look at him. He hadn't really seen Castiel since coming into the hospital, only knew through Sam that the angel was trying to figure things out for them. That he was trying to protect them and keeping to himself.

Avoiding his own problems, if Dean knew the angel as well as he did.

"You knew I was there," Castiel said for an opener when Dean said nothing.

"I guessed. You were always bad for hiding out on us." Dean shut his eyes and moved his legs around slowly on the bed so he was lying a little reclined.

"How are you feeling?"

"Still like I've been run over, thanks. Least I'm not hooked up to machines anymore." He winced and rubbed at the small of his back as his muscles spasmed. All this time lounging around was killing him, Dean thought grumpily. "Matter of time before they figure out the insurance isn't legit. Might as well enjoy it, I guess. I get sponge baths, meals in bed, and all that."

Castiel shook his head. "I'm sor…"

"No. Don't bother." Dean waved a hand. "This isn't your fault, Cas. It was mine. Just wish you could you know, heal me still but I'm getting over that a bit."

Still Castiel could tell by the bitterness in his voice that Dean was finding it hard to come to terms with it though.

"You know it was the spell?"

"Yeah, it had to give out sometime. Just means we get off our asses to look for a cure again," he said and he caught the angel's curious look. "What?"

"You are remarkably calm over this." Castiel looked at his hands as if to find answers in his own worn palms.

"Not much else I can do. Doctor says I'm not to get worked up about too much." He grinned. "How's my Zen impression going?"

"To be honest, it is a little frightening." Castiel kept his eyes on his hands even when Dean cleared his throat.

"The bunker is tense, I bet." With a shrug, he pushed up so he was sitting more upright.

"I've been giving Meg her space, Dean, if that is what you mean. It appears to be working. She's no longer looking as ready to stab me if we happen to be in the same room."

"How's the kid?"

"I'm not sure. I've just been watching her. She's three years old but she's very," Castiel suddenly had a wistful grin, "remarkable."

"Oh boy. You got it bad." Dean rolled his eyes affectionately. "Any signs of angel-baby powers showing up?"

"Nothing. I can feel that there is something different about her but nothing truly exceptional. Which makes it more frustrating," Castiel said, slapping his hands on the arms of the chair before he stood up. Dean watched him pace back and forth in front of the hospital bed. "We spent months protecting her and Meg, and we nearly all died from it. We lost and we fought so hard. I wasted three years because of Death's warning and we both suffered the consequences from the tablets being in the wrong hands."

He tugged on his coat tighter around his chest. "Now there is Nyx. I think after everything that happened that I expected to know something more about her and her purpose in this life."

"Every dad thinks his kid is special," Dean said and he eyed the heart monitor and thought of his nightmare about John. It still sent cold shivers down his spine. "Cas, that little girl is something different. We all can tell. Maybe it will show up soon, maybe it won't. Right now she just needs protecting and you're the best bet."

"I can't even protect you and Sam the way I used to," the angel muttered and Dean noticed how agitated he was as he paced. Castiel was usually better, especially recently, at hiding his emotions.

"Or Meg, right?" Dean smirked a little at the angel's annoyed look over his shoulder. "Look, a few years ago, sure, you would have had me fooled. Maybe even thinking you were doing it because of guilt."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You were in love with her back then. We're not idiots, Cas. Like it or not, you still got it bad. It's kind of cute. In that weird, absolutely fucked up way." Dean plucked at the flannel on his legs. "I just gotta ask though. Was it all because of Nyx that made you stay near her?"

The angel had his back to him. "No."

"Then look at it this way, Cas. You have Meg alone in a bunker, she's not going anywhere. So play nice with her, and for God's sake actually seem like you are sorry for what you did."

"I am!"

"You're not showing it well. You probably got all 'I know better than you', like when you tried it on us, remember? I get why you did it. God, if it could have helped Sam, maybe I would have had you do it to him, but it turns out you can't just bury things anymore." Dean rolled his shoulders a bit and put his hands on the bed as he pushed up. He swayed a little unsteadily. "But we got a lot bigger problems on our hands than Meg and Nyx now."

"The monsters," Castiel stated but he made no move to help Dean stand.

"Yeah. Whatever came out of Purgatory is bad news and we need to be ready for it," he said and he looked out the window at the parking lot. "Head back to the bunker and let me know if something comes up. See if Kevin has seen anything or if there's been anything on the radar for monster activity."

"It has been quiet so far." Castiel looked out the window with him at the people coming in and out of the hospital for the night shift. Dean stared at him until he finally looked back.

"It's not gonna last. I'm getting moved to the ward in an hour but I'll make sure Sammy can get me out of here soon. If we need anything, we'll call."

Sensing his dismissal, Castiel nodded and disappeared in a flutter. Dean stared at the empty space he'd left for a moment before he looked out at the window again. The hospital was large enough that he should have felt safe but instead it felt like a giant trap now without Sam or Castiel in the room with him.

Not sure why he felt such foreboding, he sank down in Sam's chair and watched the parking lot. Maybe he could come up with some sort of plan. He had more than enough time on his hands now to think, Dean realized as he rubbed absently at his chest.

---

As Dean had ordered, Castiel went back to the bunker but didn't go to the archives to find Kevin. Instead, he appeared in the spare room that was now Nyx's, and took precious minutes to stare down at her as she slept. After just a few days, he felt like he knew her habits now. She might be a little afraid of the dark but once she was asleep it was hard to wake her back up. Curled up in the middle, she looked so tiny in the old bed. He sat down, brushed her hair out of her face, and was relieved that she could sleep so easily when he knew Meg no longer slept.

Waiting for Sam's call had been like standing on the edge of some terrible precipice. Even though Sam had kept him in the know, Castiel still felt helpless. Not knowing what to do, not knowing what good he could do.

He had regained his Grace, against what he knew perhaps he should do, because he could do so much good as angel if only given the chance. It hadn't just been because he wanted to do good; it had been because he had been hoping that maybe someday he could find a way back to the people he loved. Now he didn't know where his hopes had lead him.

Nyx rolled a little on the bed and sighed in her sleep. Seeing how bundled up she was, Castiel gave a small half-smile and wondered a little at it. It was as if she was protecting herself from something. Reaching out again, he smoothed his fingers down her cheek and checked her for any nightmares. She should have been burning hot with how many of the blankets were on her but her skin felt cool to the touch. He let his thumb tuck her hair back behind her ear as he studied her face.

Castiel knew what Jimmy had felt when he had found Claire again.

He hadn't been lying to him. They were similar in so many ways now; maybe that was why he had stayed with his vessel for so long, even after Jimmy had been all but cast out. Tracing the edges of Nyx's determined little chin, he felt as if maybe he understood Jimmy's reasons better than ever.

A small bit of purple caught his eye as he pulled his hand away from Nyx's face. Crooking his head on the side, he noticed the stuffed unicorn on the floor and picked it up, dusted it off and then tucked it beneath the blankets with her. Her small hand automatically wrapped around its neck, brushing his hand and clenching, for a moment, on his fingers. Castiel held his breath, waiting for her to wake up, but she let him go and simply nestled down a bit more. As he fixed the blankets so they were snug around her, he saw the smile she had even in her sleep.

"I can protect you," he whispered as he touched his Grace over her. Again, the faint crackle of power under her skin but nothing like what it had been long before. But instead of worrying him, it only helped Castiel to believe that she needed him. Stretching his hand out, he raised the lighting just a little to relieve the darkness of the room before he left her to sleep.

When it came close to midnight, he always knew to find Kevin or Meg in the common room. With not much else to do, they had settled into a boring routine where they managed to avoid each other for most of the day. This was one of the first days with Castiel deliberately seeking out Meg on his own. The prophet was snoring away in an armchair, a book on his chest, while Meg was sitting on the worn old couch, pretending interest in the magazine she was reading. Giving Kevin a quick look to be sure he was asleep, Castiel took a seat beside the demon and waited.

"How's brothers dumber?" Meg asked finally without looking up from her magazine.

"Dean will be back shortly." Castiel nervously looked at her when she didn't say anything else. He still wasn't sure if she was feigning interest again or was interested. "I'm sorry."

She blinked at the magazine as if it had spoken to her before she looked at him. He could see her confusion and wariness in the way her eyes seemed to dart over his face.

"I know you hate being confined."

"Where else am I going to go though, right?" she said with a shrug. "Nyx seems happy here, for whatever reason. Least here she can sleep and I don't have to worry about which motel to sneak into."

Castiel hummed an agreement and noticed that even though she was flipping through the magazine, she wasn't actually reading it. "If you were wanting to leave for a few hours, I can watch over her."

The offer was tentative and he saw the suspicion in her eyes. "Why?"

Castiel nearly blurted out, "Because she's my daughter." With Dean's words still fresh in his mind, he stopped himself in time to simply whisper, "It was just an idea."

"Not a bad one." His head jerked up to see her shrugging. He hadn't expected that. "The monster's going to need to get out soon. She's three. If I know one thing about kids, it's that they get stir crazy easy." Meg frowned and looked at the stairwell. "Though Nyx has never been like that."

"There's a park close by," he offered. "If it is safe in the daylight, you could take her there. Does she play with other children?"

Meg frowned. "I… I don't know." When she caught his puzzled look, she shrugged. "My memory is a little hazy still, kind of blending things together. Not sure I want to go play 'Mommy' with the humans. I'm likelier to kill a few of the stupid ones with the screaming kids."

Castiel smiled at her. "I can imagine."

He noticed the way she looked at him when he smiled at her. But the moment broke when they both heard a thump coming from down the hall. It made him go to stand, protectively wanting to check on Nyx. "What was that?"

Meg whacked him on the chest to sit back down. "What's today?"

"It's the middle of the week, I think."

"But she probably thinks it is Thursday. Off schedule." Her gaze swung immediately to the hallway.

"What?"

"Just wait for it. It'll happen." She turned back to her magazine. "Hell help me if she ever really figures out the days of the week."

The lighter mood from before was broken, reduced back to that awkward silence he was used to from her. Castiel sat beside her, his hands tightly clasped to keep from fidgeting, until he couldn't stand it. He turned around on the couch and his knee nudged hers.

"Meg, what can I do?"

He expected her to deflect, pretend that she didn't know what he meant, but Meg looked up at him. Her dark eyes fixed on him as if trying to see something. "I don't know, Castiel."

There was a rise in tension again, although it wasn't unpleasant this time. Now it felt like something might shift, even just a little, and change between them. She looked away from him and he reached out, brushing his fingers over her wrist. Her skin felt cool under his touch and he looked down to watch the way her fingers twitched a little when he rested his hand on hers.

"Meg, I—"

"Stars stars stars stars stars!" Nyx's voice sang out suddenly and Meg jerked her hand away from him before she faced the tiny body launching at her lap. Kevin bolted awake at the same time, startled by the shouting.

"Kid, what did I say about late nights?" Meg demanded but Nyx grinned at her. She was oddly dressed in her wool hat and an oversized plaid shirt Sam had given Meg for her over her bottoms, the clothes a mishmash of colours that meant she'd been trying to dress herself again. Castiel watched the way she clung to Meg's leg and tugged on her shirt to get her attention. Almost shyly she quickly glanced at him but then back at Meg again.

"Stars."

"It's not Thursday, Nyx."

"Stars!"

"Ugh." Meg's disgust was affectionate and she stood up, stretching and groaning as muscle and bone popped.

"I don't understand," Castiel said as he noticed how Nyx hopped around, clearly wanting something from her mother. When he glanced at Meg, he saw the way her shirt rose as she stretched, exposing a strip of soft skin, and he immediately looked away. The little girl's excitement was contagious if not very confusing.

"Stars!"

Her odd mantra continued and he glanced up at Meg for an answer. The demon was grabbing her boots and coat, ignoring the way Nyx poked at her to hurry up. When she saw him looking at her, she shrugged.

"She likes to star gaze on Thursdays but we missed the last time when we were on the road. Don't ask. Started a few years ago." Meg was acting lighthearted about it but he could see that she was thinking it over. "Never thought it meant much until now."

"Shouldn't she be in bed?" Kevin asked though he also knew of the routine. He'd been dragged into it enough times.

Meg gave him a look. "You want to try?"

As if knowing what he was going to do, Nyx spun and stared at Kevin. He put his hands in the air submissively when those blue eyes glared at him. "Ok, you got me."

"Come on, Nyxie, let's get it over with," Meg said but her grin softened the words. Castiel watched Nyx walk ahead of her and he felt a small part of him weaken as well as she began to talk to Kevin about the bunker. Mostly nonsense and she struggled with finding the right words, but the prophet just held her hand and let her talk. Castiel followed Meg and leaned forward so he could whisper to her as they walked.

He noticed the shudder that went over her when he did it.

"She was seeing angels fall?"

"That one night, yeah. Or I guess it was when you guys went back. She now just likes to look at the stars." She shuddered again as he exhaled slow and smooth into her ear. "I used to think it was just a kid thing but now I'm not so sure."

"I think I like the idea of this." Castiel followed her up the ramp to the escape hatch. "It gives her something to see besides the bunker anyway."

"Yeah." Meg watched Nyx and Kevin and felt the brush of his hand as he held the door for her. She was starting to realize he was doing it deliberately and Castiel reminded himself to back off a little. "Why are you doing this, Cas? Don't you have Winchesters to hover over instead of me and the monster?"

He smiled a little, looking a little embarrassed. "I had three years where I missed doing things like this. I want to be here."

---

The stargazing was strange with more than just her and Nyx. Before it had been normal, something they did together, but now that she had regained what she was, it did seem a little weird in hindsight. Nyx chattered, Kevin answered, and he let the girl sit on his knee as her tiny face remained turned up to the stars, ignorant of her parents. All the while the angel and demon remained silent beside each other. The tension between them simply continued to build and the occasional glance where their eyes locked only deepened it, neither sure if it was caution or something more.

Neither Castiel or Meg looked up at the sky. The angel mostly watched Nyx's face, entranced by her chattering, and Meg watched his. Waiting for a sign that maybe he was about to do something, anything, that she expected. But Castiel seemed content to just be with them and eventually moved to to sit beside Kevin and Nyx.

It forced Meg to sit on the ground with them or continue to look awkward. Keeping distance between herself and Castiel wasn't hard. She just wasn't sure why suddenly he was throwing her off balance. Maybe it was because for a few days he had been here but had never spoken to her, clearly wanting to give her space, and now he was getting closer than before. Being the sudden focus of his attention made her restless.

Nyx pointed at something, her voice rising in a way that made Meg blink when she realized she was asking a question. Kevin, still mostly asleep, only yawned and Meg looked up to see her pointing at a star.

"It is part of Sagittarius," Castiel said when Meg hesitated.

"Saj-saj," Nyx fumbled with the word and Meg spotted a grin on Castiel's face. The little girl turned around to face him, for once forgetting her reluctance around him simply because she wanted to know something. Castiel didn't appear to worry about it as he pointed up at the sky to try to show her.

"See? There and there. It makes a shape."

"Unicorn?" Nyx stood up and drew invisible shapes in the sky. Castiel noticed Meg flinch but kept his attention on Nyx instead. He watched her draw the lines and reached out to show her the right stars.

"Sort of." Kevin yawned again. "Nyxie, isn't it time to go in? I need chocolate."

The bribe didn't work and she remained standing in front of Castiel even when Kevin left them outside. The slam of the bunker door didn't snap her out of it. Without him there, the silence felt thicker than before. Meg flexed her fingers and wrapped her arms tighter around herself as the drop in temperature finally penetrated her coat.

"Is she looking for falling stars?" Castiel asked as he watched Nyx begin to draw lines in the sky with her fingers, struggling to get the constellation right. The sight was amusing when she tried so hard to get it right and he actually smiled again. "Does she do it often?"

"Not sure why. Like I said, it started a few years ago. Just got to be a habit, I guess." Meg zipped her coat up and at the sound he looked over at her. Her head was tilted back to watch the sky now, as if to divert his attention from her, but he didn't look away.

"Meg, we need to talk about what we are going to do."

Her head lowered but she still didn't face him. "Yeah."

Knowing he'd have to move first, Castiel took his eyes off Nyx completely to focus on Meg. With childish glee, his daughter was trying to draw lines in the dirt like the shapes she had drawn in the sky and didn't seem to notice how neither of them were paying attention to her.

Castiel reached out and let his fingers touch Meg's on the ground. "I think being here is the safest place still," he began and she turned her head away from Nyx. She shrugged and gestured around them.

"Do we have another choice?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow. "Beggars can't be choosers."

Castiel hesitated because he had thought this over and knew he had to get his words right. "I had thought that maybe we could try to be…."

A loud crash inside the bunker broke the moment and he sighed, moving his hand away. "I should check that."

"Can't leave the prophet for a second, huh? He did have a lot to drink before," she said and he shrugged, getting up to check on Kevin. Meg didn't move from her spot as Nyx began to babble about the stars again. Castiel paused, realizing now what the Winchesters had meant because Nyx did seem so normal and utterly human. He could actually see a glimpse of the happy infant he had left. For a moment, she was happy and no matter how quiet and sullen her mother was it didn't seem to make a dent in her happiness.

Castiel watched for a little longer before heading into the bunker.

What he found made him forget the quiet of being outside with Meg and Nyx. Kevin lay on his back just inside the entrance, twitching and staring at the ceiling, and the angel murmured his name as he knelt beside him. Pressing the heel of his hand onto Kevin's forehead, Castiel recognized that a vision was coming to him. Things like this didn't often happen to Kevin but Castiel knew, as any angel would, what he was experiencing. The orange glow in his eyes was so bright that it distorted the complexion of his skin and he whispered something in Latin before his eyes closed and opened rapidly again.

"Kevin?"

The prophet's back arched and he groaned aloud, the light in his eyes fading a little. He grabbed onto Castiel's arms and held on as the angel lifted him to his feet.

"What did you see?"

"Eve. I haven't had that many visions, Cas, outside what I saw with Nyx but I saw her. Or what I think is her, I only ever heard the stories about her."

"What?" Sam had only told him the barest hint of what Dean had seen, and Dean's own admissions hadn't helped. Everything had been a blur to the hunter. Castiel didn't know much and he had been worried that pushing for Dean to know more.

"A part of her is looking for Dean and Sam. Why?" The prophet sagged back against the wall and bent over at the waist to throw up. Castiel ignored the heaving sounds and it was only seconds before Kevin groaned and slowly regained control of his stomach.

"They're safe though," he muttered and Kevin's eyes fixed on his face. Suddenly, Castiel didn't want to question the visions anymore. Kevin buried what prophecy he experienced in alcohol and sarcasm so often that to see him like this made the angel realize how serious this could be.

"No, they aren't."

---

They were in there.

Adam looked at the hospital entrance as he swung his arms from side to side in a stretch, his every scrap of shared power searching the building for what he wanted as he stared at the lit hospital windows. Each slow stretch made his changing body structure realign while the muscles popped and bones cracked. The body was almost perfect now, a warped version of what it had once been, and the demon's soul he was attached to no longer fought him as violently as it had before. Served it right, Adam thought; the demon had done it to a human, it was only fair the demon now experienced the possession as well.

He now had a passable group of disposable creatures, all converted of course with venom and some with Eve's eggs that still secreted out of his own body. The temptation to completely destroy the hospital he had found the demons in had been so strong. He had wanted to taste the blood and fear for himself, and knew it was the demon side to him peeking through the monster. Still, even then he had felt Eve's voice in his head warning him that they weren't strong enough yet. He had stayed his hand even as his thirst for violence begged him to rend flesh.

His serenity had lasted until he had figured out he was at the wrong hospital.

That had been the least pleasant thing of the past few days and he had, with stunning viciousness, destroyed a pack of demons and several humans that had come to stop him. With his group of converted followers, he'd left the hospital and found the closest group of skinwalkers who made that town their territory. Once his power had been recognized as part of Eve, the skinwalkers had bowed, they had begged for his mercy, and ultimately revealed that there was a larger hospital in a close city in Kansas. The right hospital, they promised as they cowered.

The skinwalkers hadn't lied. He could smell them here. The Winchesters.

The only reason why he hadn't attacked yet was because he felt the constant presence of an angel in there at odd times. It wasn't that he was afraid of this one but he was leery to face one when he wasn't sure of his own power yet. Since the split of Adam and Eve, he'd figured out only that Eve had kept most of her earthy magic to herself. He was given the more violent tendencies but not all of the fear-invoking power. Knowing that the angel was being followed by other angels had also kept Adam from approaching.

Now, for the first time, the angel hadn't been back in hours and there hadn't been a sighting of the other Heavenly creatures for just as long.

"Plenty of time," Adam whispered before he turned to the huddled group and leaned over a small man, touching his face. He was one of the humans he had decided to bring along. Simple things, humans, he thought to himself. Useful but simple. The few converted creatures, were not as strong as he would have liked but then again they didn't have the closest source. He'd been tempted to bite the humans and infect them with simpler juice, the kind that would make them Eve's creations.

It gave him a foul taste in the mouth to even think of it. He didn't want to waste his venom on humans.

When the man lifted his eyes, so hypnotized and with in Adam's power that he didn't really see the horror he faced, Adam stroked his cheek and drew him close. His breath mingled with his victim's as he leaned in and murmured to him,

"I need to find the Winchesters. They owe me some blood and if I can find them together, all the better. Raise a distraction. Then… you can end your miserable existence any way you see fit."

The gratefulness he could see in the human's tortured and glazed eyes made him smile. This would be entertaining. If luck was on his side, he could have their revenge and join Eve once again so they could share that power.

---

The nurses unlucky enough to be on the midnight shift in the emergency room were the first to die.

Just before her throat was ripped out, one of the unlucky nurses hit the emergency button and fire alarms screeched to life, flood lights blinking on and off furiously to accompany the ear-splitting sound. The alarms covered the screams of the other nurses and on their way into the emergency room the security guards were attacked by the same creatures who moved too fast to be seen. When the guards left recovered they began to open fire on the shadows that chased each other around the halls, toppling beds and nurses as they went. Bullets embedded in the shadows, splintering them, and they all could hear the howling of dying animals, but no one could see the bodies actually fall.

They didn't need to. The screams and the stench of blood was enough to let them know that something had come in. Calling for backup, the oldest of the guards began to pray for help as static crackled over his radio.

The fire alarm on the fourth level was ringing so loud that it was deafening, waking Sam up from his doze in the waiting room. He took one look at the flickering lights, then snatched up his bag of old books and ran for the ward doors. The security guards were all running by him towards the elevators and fire escapes, static on their walkie-talkies revealing only shouts about animals being in the emergency ward. No one seemed to notice that the patients in the ward were all nervously trying to get of bed and when Sam burst through the doors they shouted at him to try to see what was wrong.

He ignored them to get to Dean at the end of the row. Around the curtain, his brother was already halfway up, dressing as fast as he could. Sam threw his bag on the bed and grabbed Dean's boots from under the bed for him.

"What's up?" Dean demanded as he buckled his spare jeans and Sam shook his head.

"Not sure. I didn't stop to ask questions. Something just happened in the emergency though. Most of the security is headed down and the alarms are going crazy. I think we need to get out of here," he explained as he grabbed Dean's wallet off the night-table.

"Good plan. Get my jacket."

Dean hopped out of the bed and immediately regretted it as his vision spun with dizziness. Before he could grab hold of the bedrail, a hand reached out to hold onto his shoulder and steady him. He felt that familiar shift in the air that let him know Castiel had arrived and he relaxed under the firm grip. He looked up at him, eyes sleepily dragging over his face as he reached up and brushed his hand off.

"Cas, what's going…"

Immediately he noticed that Castiel wasn't actually looking at him but through the curtains around Dean's bed. The angel held a finger up to his lips and looked down the hallway of the ward. The patients were struggling out of in their beds and even those heavily sedated were twisting about as if troubled by some nightmare. They were all shouting for someone to tell them what was going on.

Sam tossed Dean his jacket and stepped up beside Castiel, leaning over his shoulder to listen. He too could hear the low sound of growls and screams in the distance but it didn't seem any closer than it had before. At Castiel's nod, Sam grabbed Dean's arm and fell into step behind him. Dean murmured at the patients to stay down and out of the way but most were already crouching on the other sides of their beds.

All three men slowly made their way to the exit and slipped into the waiting room together. Shrugging his coat on, Dean quickly checked the desk but the nurses were all gone. He only hoped they were still alive.

"It's been coming up the floors," Castiel whispered, looking at the floor. "I can hear it in the radio. I can't help them down there though."

"What's going on?"

The angel shifted, still tuned into the radio frequency. The screams he could hear made him want to race down and fight but he knew he was already too late. He only knew what instinct told him, what the prayers of the nurse downstairs had told him. "Someone is looking for you both."

"Actually?" The intruding voice was unnaturally cheerful and they both spun to see a balding man with dark circles and sallow skin staring back at them from the other exit. "I was looking for all of you."

Fanged teeth parted in a grin as he leaned back and tilted his chin down, peeking up at them in a coy way. "What a sight. An angel and two hunters. All for me. I feel truly blessed."

Castiel reached for Sam and Dean and felt an immediate block that kept him still and almost rooted to the tiled floor. He knew that sort of block though he hadn't felt it in years. It was something more elemental than an angel or demon.

Growing realization made him hesitate, looking over at the Winchesters. "Sam, get…"

When the man took a menacing step towards Dean and Sam, Castiel broke free of the power holding him still and shot forward, only to be spun around with an arm to his throat. The angel and monster went spinning through the narrow hall and Castiel struggled to get a hold, only to be thrown up against the wall. Crushed against the partition and pinned so that his legs were dangling, he stared wide-eyed at the monster and choked on his warning to Sam and Dean. The monster's eyes were black now but he thought he could feel a demon under the monster. Bewildered, Castiel grabbed at the arm and tried to pull himself free.

"An angel. More specifically, the angel who watched the Mother be torn apart like an experiment." A row of yellow tinged fangs came out and he licked his lips as he eyed Castiel lustfully. "How nice."

Dean and Sam hesitated, wanting to help Castiel and not knowing how. The man turned to look at them when he noticed how both men were edging forward. "Oh no, don't go far. I'm not done with either of you yet."

"Go!" Castiel shouted as his sword slid out of his sleeve to his free hand and he plunged it into the arm holding him. The monster grunted, sparks of orange light flying over his skin, but he didn't let go of the angel. Instead, he batted the sword out of Castiel's hand and sent it to the ground far out of his reach. Dean and Sam went running for the stairs, ignoring the blaring sirens and emergency lights.

"And I told them not to run." The man holding Castiel sighed in disappointment. "Then there's you angels. Always so quick with the sword, aren't you?"

Castiel swallowed deeply as the strange eyes fixed on him, whispering in a husky voice, "You're a Leviathan."

The mouth twisted into a grimace. "I'm not something that simple, boy. I'm something far more than that. I'm…complex." Leaning forward, he sniffed at Castiel's neck. "Your trench-coat still reeks of the Impala."

Castiel stared, because he had only ever heard those words from Crowley years ago.

"And…" He paused and took a deep inhale close to Castiel's pulse, almost teasing him. "Of demon now. What have you been rolling in?" the monster asked as he leaned back. He saw Castiel's confusion and tsked several times. "You don't recognize me? I don't blame you. I am in a different form. I'm not used to the… male side yet. Feelings are different, what with all these new parts I don't often feel."

Castiel choked as the arm on his throat pushed up hard. "Eve."

"Adam, actually. Because of what I am, you know. Part of her but not her. I found that humans are very quick to name monsters, though they are very good at taking orders when you give them incentive." A loud scream and a blur of a man falling past the window made them both look. The monster shrugged a shoulder. "Speak of the devil. It looks like one served his purpose."

Feral eyes turning on the angel, Adam smiled. "You are so willing to die for the humans, aren't you?"

"I'm not going to die," Castiel whispered.

"You're so confident of that." He squeezed hard just to feel Castiel's windpipe crush a little under the pressure. "I've been dying to taste angel blood, Castiel." Leaning forward, he sniffed at him and his fangs receded as his disgust became clear. "You smell like a demon." His nose dragged closer up his skin. "And something else. You've been close to something I don't recognize. Something... new."

Adam's eyes widened and he pulled back to look into Castiel's eyes. "What have you done, angel?"

"Hey!" Sam's voice caught the attention of angel and monster. When they both looked, he slammed a fire extinguisher into Adam's forehead and sent him crashing backwards. Castiel dropped to the ground and watched as the hunter did it again and again, crushing the monster's skull under the fury of his onslaught. Startled, Adam swung out blindly and Sam ducked, uppercutting him again with the bottom of the heavy canister. Grabbing his sword, Castiel was ready to leap back in to help Sam when Adam was driven backwards through the window. He howled as he plummeted through the glass and over the ledge of the window.

Together, angel and human looked out to see him sprawled on the pavement four stories down. From what Castiel could see, his eyes were open and staring but he couldn't tell if he was actually looking at them. Maybe, he hoped, the impact had broken enough bones to kill him.

"Guys?" Dean's voice caught their attention from the stairwell. While rubbing at his chest, he raised his eyebrows as Sam brushed the broken glass off the ledge. "Where's my car? He didn't land on my car, did he?"

"Priorities, Dean. I'll get it back to Lebanon," Sam said before glancing at Castiel. "He needs to get to the bunker."

"I'll take him."

"Sam, it's not safe." Dean looked around at the still flickering lights. "I can…"

"I can get out of here faster. Go with Cas, Dean. I'll be right behind you guys." Sam looked at Castiel and before Dean could protest they were gone. Leaving Sam to slip through the hospital to where he had parked the Impala and hope that he wasn't being followed by any of the monsters he could hear running around the hospital.

---

Far below, his impact having cracked the pavement, Adam's bones began to slowly fix themselves. His skull filled back out slowly like a balloon being blown full of air and his spine cracked into place. The broken jaw and cheekbones carved themselves back out and the skin repaired slowly around each wound that Sam Winchester had caused. With a groan, he sat up and stretched his arm out, watching as the bone that had pierced his skin slid back into place.

The two skinwalkers standing over him nervously looked at each other.

"Well?" he demanded once his teeth rebuilt as well. "What are you waiting for? Go find them."

---

continued on in Part 2