In the Lethe Series 2

by teaandchess

Three years have past after the events of In the Lethe, when Castiel made his choice to save a demon and the Winchesters made theirs to save one other. All that Dean, Sam and Castiel have fought for to save friends, lovers and family has started to fall apart. Old enemies begin to stalk those that they love and so it comes down to a choice. It will always come down to a choice.

13. Falling (When Angels Choose) Part 2

Summary: With the warehouse burned down and Adam lost, Eve swears revenge. As Meg struggles to recover from the venom, the Winchesters and Castiel put into action a plan to keep the monsters confused.

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Part 9: Falling (When Angels Choose)
Part 2

It was a week before Meg finally woke from the fog she'd been plunged beneath; she lay alone in a room that was cold enough that she tried to burrow back under the thin sheet to feel warm again. It was so hard to wake up, she thought, when she just wanted to try to get real sleep that was undisturbed by terrifying dreams of a monster devouring her or Alastair's tortures.

But she forced herself to turn a little on the cot, the room swimming before her eyes when she managed to open them. The smell of sweat and incense around her was so strong that she actually felt ready to vomit from it. The light from the single bulb overhead actually made her eyes ache and the pain in her head increased.

Moaning, she turned onto her stomach and arched her back to stretch out her sore muscles. She tried to dig her fingers into the mattress but found her hands duct-taped into a pair of oven mittens. Lifting her hands to her face, she stared at them, confused, until it became clear what why it had been done. Her neck itched badly and her fingernails would have damaged the gouge even more.

"Boys are getting inventive," she muttered before reaching down and biting at the tape. The tape ripped at her skin but her clammy hands slipped free, pale indentures on her wrists from the long wear. As tired as she felt, her body and insides nearly felt normal again. Meg lifted her hands to her face, poking at the skin and brushing her teeth to be sure there were no fangs or leaking venom coming from her mouth.

When she lifted her hands towards her nose, she almost choked at the smell.

It was a demonic sulphur smell mixed with the algae overtones and it caused her to wrinkle her nose in disgust. Meg felt disgusting from head to toe; the long shirt she wore clung to her, sticky from too much sweat, and her hair hung in tangled clumps too thick to get her fingers through.

She had never let herself go this far, not since the Lethe anyway. The uncomfortable memory made her take in a deep breath before she slipped from the bed to stand on shaky feet. She regretted it instantly as the entire room spun around her until the dizziness was too much to take.

Meg trembled as she dropped back onto the bed and waited for her vision to clear before she tried to move again. Rolling back to the side, the feel of something sticky on her stomach made her part the shirt enough to see wards painted on her body. Whatever they were for, she didn't know and didn't care, but they did burn a little.

Groaning, she put her head between her knees and tried to take deeper breaths. She scraped her nails up to her arms to her face, and dug them in to test that her skin was real. The pain bit into her and she sighed, relieved to feel that much again.

"Only me in here again," she said as she stared at the floor. For some reason, the past weeks reminded her of Cheboygan girl, long since gone after they had died together on the pavement years ago. "Bet that little girl would be glad she left when she did. Never thought I'd envy a soul for getting to the other side."

Sitting on the bed, Meg remembered her dreams. Of Purgatory and Hell, of the Lethe, of Castiel and of Nyx, of the Winchesters and the demons. All of it was jumbled together and she was sure she had felt the burn of Grace beside her at one point. It was hard to tell in the way of dreams what had been reality though.

It wasn't hard to recognize where she was when she managed to stand up finally. The bunker's old demon cell, with its marks scratched from floor to ceiling and designed to keep a demon in, was a strangely familiar place to wake up in. The wide-open door was new though; usually they had locked that with iron bars.

When she popped her head out into the hallway, she spotted a cot pulled up outside the cell, looking slept in with blankets and surrounded by small piles of books. Someone had been watching her and she had a good idea who it was.

Yawning, Meg stretched her arms over her head and grunted when the muscles popped in her back. When she raked her fingers through her hair and felt the gross oily mess it was, when she smelt the algae and sulphur odours rising like fumes from her body, Meg decided that she needed to do something first before facing the angel or the Winchesters.

---

"We're going have to make some sort of plan, Cas. Sooner or later, all of this is going to come to a head and we need to be prepared," Dean said as he cracked open a new bottle of water and swigged it. He made a face at the bland taste before taking a seat opposite the angel at the table. Castiel, like he had for a few days now, made a noncommittal sound and stared at the door that led to the stairwell. Dean watched him while waiting for an answer, before he flicked the bottle cap at the angel to startle him.

"Cas? You in there?"

"Of course I am. If I left the vessel you would know," Castiel said curtly without turning his head.

"Helpful." Dean took another drink and looked away to the other side of the common room. "What do you think, Sam?"

"We're not going to be able to do a lot until she wakes up," Sam answered from where he was trying to nap on the armchair, uncomfortably squished in since the couch was occupied. Castiel sighed and gestured at his mouth for them both to be quiet, giving a meaningful look at where Nyx was sleeping in a pile of blankets on the couch.

"Things were easier before we started running with kids," Dean muttered half-heartedly as he shook out the morning edition and set it down on the table between them. He started circling any story that seemed remotely suspicious. After a case two days ago where three ghosts were still re-enacting their last fight in a haunted house several miles outside of Kansas City, he was eager for more work.

"I'm going to check on Meg," Castiel said finally, when watching Dean sullenly drink and read the newspaper became too boring.

"Make sure she's not tearing it apart, okay? She's not moved in a few hours now but I wouldn't put it past her."

"I'll be sure of that." Castiel picked up a bag of incense, knowing it might be necessary to cover the sulphur smell that had become nearly overpowering over the past few days since they had moved back to the bunker.

He had held Meg during the move, carefully keeping her still though it hadn't been necessary with her lying so frigid. She had slept through the trip back to Kansas, fading in and out of the venom's coma, and since coming back to the bunker she seemed to be stronger than before, sleeping more deeply but with fewer fever dreams. He knew she was going to wake sooner or later and wanted to be there in case she panicked or did something they would all regret.

Castiel just wasn't sure who would be waiting for him when she did wake up.

Dean watched Castiel go down the hall and waited for the doors to close behind him before he dug into his back pocket for his phone. With one eye on Sam and Nyx, he dialled a number and began to impatiently drum his fingers on the table. When a surly, gruff voice answered him, Dean sighed in relief.

"Benny. This a good time to talk?"

"Good as any, brother. I'm just having a midnight snack."

"It's nine in the morning," he pointed out and heard the vampire click his tongue.

"I am well aware of the time, Dean. What would you like?"

"You said you'd get back to me if you heard anything. Been a while." He jammed the phone between his ear and shoulder as he reached for his water again. "So what's the word?"

"Well now, do you want the good news or the bad news?"

Dean froze at the weary tone Benny was using. "Good news first. Had my share of bad lately," he said, aware that Sam was now staring at him.

"Monsters have no idea where you all got to. Even the ones south of Montana line are in the dark."

"That's good. So what's the bad news?" Dean asked, already bracing himself.

"They're still looking."

"So that's normal, Benny," he said, giving a small laugh. "I mean really."

"Wasn't finished." He heard a low slurping sound and then Benny's satisfied smack of his lips. "Eve's given out orders. We all felt them. She wants the angel in the trench coat and the demon called Meg. You two are side-dishes, apparently. Momma's out for blood again."

"They don't know where we are though."

"Not yet, but you'll need to throw them off with some hefty distraction. That place of yours is safe but if Eve is on your tail, you need to set her hunting dogs on a different trail for a while so you can figure out how to take care of her. If you can, I'd try to throw them off and fast."

Dean nodded as if Benny could see him. "They…"

"There's just some moving out now. Nest I've joined up with is mostly younglings and they just heard the stories from another nest. I'll see if I can create some—" He paused and Dean could almost hear the smile in his voice. "Havoc."

"Appreciate it, Benny, you know I do," Dean said. "You stay safe, okay?"

"Always do. Say hi to little brother for me."

Dean sighed as he hung up the phone and turned in his seat to look at Sam. "We got problems."

Getting up from the armchair, Sam took the chair Castiel had left and plunked down closer to Dean. "That's different from when?"

"They're going to be tracking Meg and Cas," Dean explained. "Probably us and Nyx too."

"How?"

"Got me. But those monsters can get smart and Adam found Meg and Cas through scents and demon deals, I bet. It's possible they can smell them out."

"Smell them out?"

"Meg smelled to high-heaven and you can bet it was something from Adam and Eve, not her own demon stuff," he pointed out. Sam nodded.

"So we mask it or they go for a trip out of town, lead them away," he said.

"With or without Nyx?" Dean lowered his voice as they both looked at where Nyx was waking up. She was already talking to herself, petting her stuffed unicorn and telling him to play nice. "We can't keep her trapped in here, Sam."

"She doesn't seem to mind," his brother answered and Dean had to admit that was true. No matter how many times they had taken her out for fresh air, they had never seen her actually interested in playing with other children. She was more content to play alone and Dean and Sam sympathized with her with uncomfortable nostalgia. There had been too much to worry about though and neither had thought much of it until now.

"Sooner or later, Cas is going to have to make a choi…" Dean started just before they heard a loud thunk overhead. Without waiting for Sam to say anything, he stood up and started for the stairs. He wondered what Castiel had managed to get up to already and what he could have found.

---

Taking a deep breath, Castiel closed the door behind himself and forced himself to walk slowly. The hallway seemed long and lonely as he made his way down to the holding cell. Knowing he could handle whatever Meg might turn into had been the only reason why they hadn't locked the door and some strange guilt had made him insist on trusting Meg to get better. He hadn't wanted her to feel trapped. Dean hadn't argued for once but Castiel was aware he would owe his friend a large favour for that.

The sight of the cot he had made his home for several nights made Castiel almost long for the ability to sleep again. At least it would have helped pass the time. Putting the books back into their bag, he fixed the cot with meticulous care as if to distract himself. He wanted to zap into the room and be done with it, like he had every other time, but this time he moved slower. Meg was still there, he was sure. She should be too weak to move far.

When he finally opened the cell door, he found himself staring at an empty cot. The sheets, still stained with venom sweat and stinking of algae and sulphur, were in a pile near the door, while the few candles he'd lit to try to erase the stench were tossed in the garbage can. The smell was no longer as overpowering and there no longer any sense of a spell or magic swimming through the room. Castiel's fingers instantly felt numb and he nearly dropped the bag of books as he stared at the bed, wondering if maybe something had happened to her.

Where could she have gone?

There was a sound of something dropping in the bathroom overhead, and without another thought he zapped to the hallway outside it, nervously staring at the door. He tightened his fingers around the book bag and waited.

The door swung open and he watched as Meg stumbled out in a blast of clean-smelling steam.

"Meg?"

She jumped and pivoted to look at him. Dropping the towel she held, she tugged at the bottom of the massive shirt he had dressed her in days ago. The stained flannel clung to her wet skin.

"Hi," Meg said, plucking the soaked shirt away from her stomach.

"You… you're up." He wasn't sure what else to say but she nodded, going around him towards the spare room where Nyx had been sleeping weeks before. His old room. Castiel followed her closely and closed the door behind himself.

"My back was killing me and I guess I felt ready to move. Can't sleep forever." Her hand went to her head as she approached the mirror. Castiel set the bag he'd been carrying down on the dresser and quickly found Meg a pair of old sweatpants and an undershirt he had kept from when he was human. He set the clothes before her and then looked away from the reflection they both made in the mirror.

"That's good," he said lamely, not sure what else to say to her now. A thousand words of what he could say came to his lips but all he could think about was that she was standing, mostly healed in front of him, as if she survived torture and monster's venom every day and it was nothing to her. It was frustrating and yet something that made him relieved at the same time. Something that exhilarated him that she now seemed to be recovered.

Meg tried hard not to notice as he fixed things around the room, keeping his back turned to her while she eased into the oversized clothing. She caught a glimpse of her reflection again after she pulled the undershirt over her head. There were still bruises on her face and she still felt too sluggish to bother to heal them. Pulling a face at her own reflection, she watched Castiel fidget as if he was itching to do something more than clean.

It was exhausting just watching him.

"How long was I out for?" she asked over her shoulder as she moved to lean against the wall beside the dresser. Castiel looked up at the calendar on the wall.

"Nearly a week. We moved to avoid Eve. It is safe here."

"We're in the bunker."

Castiel nodded, watching as she began to squeeze the water out of her hair, the droplets soaking the undershirt at the collar and over her breasts. "We came back several days ago," he explained. "I'm glad it didn't frighten you, being here."

"Not hard to guess. I'm a smart cookie even after my noodle was a bit fried."

She said it so half-heartedly, without any real interest, that Castiel debated on asking how she really felt. But he heard a door opening down the hall and, with one eye on Meg, he quickly went to check to see who was there.

"Cas? Need some salt or an exorcism?" Dean's voice carried and Castiel rolled his eyes, spotting the hunter at the end of the hall.

"She's in here. We're fine," he called back and waited until he heard the door slam shut again before he closed his own door. He turned back to see Meg studying her reflection again, poking at her neck gingerly. "Meg, how do you feel?"

She tossed her damp hair over a shoulder and reached up to pull off the wet gauze clinging to her throat. The skin beneath was pink and new, still scarring. Meg didn't bother to look at him as she spoke, "We're probably going to talk this to death, huh? Look, I'm up. I'm still me. I'm not chewing on your throat, so I'd say we're good."

The testy way she spoke, all acid and sarcasm, made him smile a little indulgently because that was the Meg he knew. He made sure to look stoic when she looked up at him again.

"I was worried about you," he admitted.

"You're always worried about me." Yawning, Meg rubbed at her face and passed him to toss the stained shirt in the garbage pail. "The Winchesters didn't do that much damage I think."

She turned sidelong to him and gestured at her own body. "See? Nearly normal demon in all her beauty."

"Yes, I see," Castiel answered with such sincerity that she was thrown by it. She opened her mouth to making a cutting comment and then closed it quickly, brow wrinkled in confusion before she snorted and rolled her eyes at him. Castiel watched her shuffle by him, still poking at her scarred neck, before he cleared his throat. "Meg, I…"

"So we are still going to do the whole 'you ask me how I feel and I keep saying I'm fine and how angels don't worry over demons' routine. The usual rhetoric that will go on and on before you finally believe me, right?" Meg asked abruptly as if to stop him.

When she turned Castiel was standing in front of her, so close that she could feel the brush of his coat against the back of her hands. Moving slowly, he reached out and touched her like he would something already broken. The gentleness felt strange after spending days dreaming of pain and she tried not to flinch when he brushed the bruise on her cheek.

His touch growing firmer, Castiel cradled her face with his hand as he took in the damage. "Some bruises are taking longer to heal. How bad is it?"

"I'm fine." Meg felt his thumb caress over her cheekbone. Despite the exhausting way they'd gone out of their way to keep distance between them, his touch felt good. Restorative even, and she knew she was reacting to his Grace. Before she could stop himself, her eyes closed and her cheek pressed into his hand. Castiel's fingers pressed harder and then stopped, as if he thought he had hurt her.

"Meg, I still—" He stopped himself. "I was worried. Over you."

"I'm fine, Cas." Her eyes opened to see him so close that she could see his eyelashes and how dark his eyes suddenly seemed. Her gaze dropped to his mouth and her breathing deepened, his own soon mirroring hers.

The thumb brushing over her cheekbone pressed down a little again and the bruise healed itself. Each brush of his Grace over her darkness no longer agitated it. Instead, she felt as if her power was greedily siphoning off of his own, and the sensation was forcing her to sway on her feet at its headiness.

His eyes slowly swept over her face. "I'm sorry you went through that. All of that."

"I'm used to far worse, remember?" she tried. "Done far worse, that's for sure."

"That doesn't mean I have to like it happening to you now," Castiel said without moving his hand from her face. "If Metatron hadn't killed Adam, I would have."

Knowing she should pull away, Meg reached up to touch his wrist. But under the feel of his skin she could feel the life and Grace pulsing through him, prickling at her skin, and when he leaned closer he brought with him a smell. The sharp and clean odour of an angel. It reminded her of another time, in another old building, when she had tasted that cleanliness for the first time in centuries. He had tasted of something so clean and intoxicating, a taste stronger than bleach and more refreshing than water.

But the memory was faded now, marred by the lingering foulness of Adam's vile tongue as if he'd imprinted on her. Now she thought she could still taste the torture, the blood and venom, and it was the sort of thing she hated. Being reminded of her own weakness and how close she had come to cracking under the hand of a monster was something that she saw as beneath a demon.

With her hand still on his wrist, she looked up into his eyes and took in a deep, slow breath that he mimicked.

It was so easy to want to remember something else other than what she had suffered.

"Are you going to kiss me or what?"

Those blue eyes widened in surprise at the way she had blurted that out. "What? "

"I want you to kiss me. I need to feel… cleaner. You're a sure bet."

"We talked about keeping our distance from each other." He looked at her almost warily. "I fail to see how that helps you. Are you feverish?"

"Well, on one hand, a kiss for a thank you is better than a handshake." She eyed him. "But on the other?" Meg hesitated, trying to think of an analogy he would understand. "Have you ever been in a hot room for too long? You feel like you're being suffocated, and then someone cracks open a window. You feel like you can breathe again. Somehow you can taste the cool air; you feel it and it feels good."

His breathing deepened a bit more and he fidgeted again, looking away.

But she saw his jaw clench and his eyes close a little.

"You do know what I'm talking about, Castiel," she muttered, her voice rough. She shrugged when he stubbornly kept his head turned away from her. "Forget it. It was dumb talk, making a bad joke like that."

Before she could move far, he took hold of her arm and pulled her back. His fingers touched the smear of soap that stained her skin close to her hairline and brushed it away, before his hand slowly slid down to her neck. Meg jutted her chin up a little, as if challenging him, and his eyes lifted from her mouth to look into hers. At her arched eyebrow, the hand on her neck slowly moved to cup her by the back of her head.

Murmuring under his breath that this solved nothing, he dipped his head and kissed her. Nowhere close to how fiercely it could have been and often had been between them before.

Now it was tentative and almost chaste, a simple press of his lips against hers.

She stood still, letting the familiar taste and touch swamp her senses as his Grace moved over her. It didn't have the same bite and intensity as she expected. It was easier just to accept that gentle pressure of his lips and wait until he moved back like he would. It would have been easier to just let it stay at a virtuous kiss.

Easier until she remembered those long nights spent in the safe-house, remembered how she had come to know him better than any of her past lovers. Remembered how simple touches on his shoulder blades, where his wings might be, would have him shuddering and moaning; how tugging on his hair made him almost purr like a cat. As she remembered those nights, the memories brought strange rushes of desire through her she'd thought she was no longer capable of. Not just desire for sex but for something more that she had felt once. Something she had forgotten until all the pressure and exhaustion of the past weeks had finally broken her resolve.

This kiss may have been the worst thing she had half-jokingly suggested in a long time. That Castiel had taken her glib attitude seriously was something she should have expected.

Stupid, Meg thought to herself before sighing as he eased the pressure a little. Apparently her angel addiction wasn't over yet.

Groaning in defeat, she lifted up on her toes and opened her mouth to touch his tongue with hers.

Castiel moaned in surprise, and when she opened her eyes she saw that he was staring at her. His lips parted a little, his tongue tentatively touching hers, and she closed her eyes when she felt his fingers going up into her hair and tugging. The waft of his breath against her cheek was warm and as clean as his taste, and Meg held onto his arms when he turned her around to press her into the space beside the dresser. Her body tucked up into his as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and uttered a soft moan. His tongue slid into her mouth, deepening the kiss when she returned the caress.

His mouth moved from hers just a little to whisper her name and then he was kissing her again, a hand dropping to cup her breast and she rocked her hips up into his. Every part of her forgot the nature of her injury, of why she had put the distance between them, as she felt a sudden ache for simply more. There was another whisper of her name before Castiel's head tilted the other way, the kiss resuming with more force, and then she was forgetting how anything else had felt in comparison.

So clean…

Meg's head felt full of a pleasant haze at the familiarity of his kiss, at the way even this touch cleansed her free of Adam. For the first time in three years she felt so strong a bolt of desire that she wasn't sure what to do about it. All of her, inside and out, was wanting the one creature she'd kept at a distance. Not even that time in the demon cell, when more than few cruel things were done between them, had felt like this. That had been angry, a way of trying and failing to prove a point.

Now she wanted something far more.

His breath trembling against her lips, Castiel broke the kiss and lowered his head to graze her neck with his teeth. His hands slid over her body and beneath the undershirt, touching cooler skin so gently that she felt goosebumps start to prickle. Meg moaned, arching a little when he sucked a small mark to the surface of her skin. Turning her head, she nipped at his earlobe and ran her fingers through his hair, nails scraping his scalp and causing him to groan.

A loud clatter outside the room made him lean back from her slowly, his glazed blue eyes taking in her swollen mouth and mussed curls. His own hair was on all ends and his shirt was rumpled from where she'd clutched it. Meg swayed on her feet, fingers still buried in his dark hair, and when she pressed into him Castiel nipped at her lower lip as if he couldn't resist. She returned the bite and he sighed against her cheek when she let his lip go. Her head made a heavy thud as she rested back against the wall. He stared at her wide-eyed, licking his lower lip to soothe the bite she'd left.

"They're coming in," he whispered. "Dean and Sam."

"Yeah." Her eyes were almost black with desire and each breath was shaky. "Rain check then."

He tilted his head at her, not caring that he still cupped her breast, and his mouth lowered a little again. "What are you saying?"

"That maybe we should try to end the restraining order." She wanted to squirm under the look he gave her but she didn't let him go. "Or am I off base with that and I was the only one here for what just happened?"

He swallowed nervously. "We need to talk. Not just this, no matter how much I would like that. But we need to talk."

"Yeah," she whispered again and he stepped back just as Dean came in the room. "We do."

When Meg managed to look away from Castiel, Dean was staring at her as if she'd grown a few extra heads. "You're up."

She gestured at herself like she had with Cas. "Apparently."

Dean tipped his head a bit and squinted at her. "You're still looking feverish."

" I bet I do." She grinned lewdly and reached up to fix the way the undershirt shirt had ridden up over her stomach. Castiel made sure not to react though his eyes darted to her face. She winked at him and he looked away, though this time there was a slight smug smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"So the monster thing is gone?" Dean asked.

She shrugged. "Mostly gone. Funny, I barely feel it." She flicked her fingers out and looked at her palms. "I don't feel numb either."

Dean glanced at the angel. "Cas?"

"She's fine. Everything about her is how she was weeks ago," the angel said and he went a bit red when he realized what he implied. But Dean only shrugged, not catching the inference. Castiel cleared his throat and repeated, "She's fine."

"She's also so thrilled to be talked about like she isn't here," the demon muttered under her breath. Dean rolled his eyes at Castiel before calling out over his shoulder,

"Sam?"

Coming in just as carefully as Dean had, Sam was holding Nyx's hand. The little girl looked nervous as she followed him, chewing on her fingertip nervously. Moving to one side, Castiel gave her a smile but her eyes were solely on Meg.

"Cas, we have to talk. Benny called and…" Dean stared at Meg, noticing how interested she was, and then grabbed the angel by the arm to pull him to the side. Suddenly tired of their usual treatment, Meg watched the brothers and the angel talk. She debated on going back for another shower, for the sake of passing the time. Considering how her body still ached a little, this time from Castiel's touch, she nearly thought about taking a long, cold shower this time.

A small hand tugging on hers snapped her back to the present. Nyx stood at her side, eyes wide and seeming to take everything in as she stared at her mother.

Meg stared back.

"Better?" her daughter asked, her voice tiny and afraid. It was hard to know what to do, when Nyx could clearly see beneath the face that Meg wore and would know if she was lying.

"Better." Ignoring the way Castiel and the Winchesters were beginning to argue, Meg knelt down in front of Nyx. The girl's blue eyes were almost bright with love and fear, and she seemed ready to leap into her arms. "Did you really go into the fire and save Castiel?"

Nyx nodded, lower lip trembling.

Meg grinned. "That's my girl. We always have to rescue the big dumb angel, don't we?"

For a second Nyx stared at her, and then with a delighted giggle she launched herself at Meg. The demon felt how warm she was as she wrapped herself into Meg's arms and she sighed, hugging the child back. It felt just as rejuvenating touching Nyx as it had been kissing Castiel, and she felt Nyx's hand touch the scar tissue on her neck. The warmth of her small hand actually seemed to ease the ache in the healed mark and Meg made a sound, trying to pull back but Nyx held on until the heat was gone.

It didn't seem to occur to Nyx what she had done to try to heal her mother. Her fingers twisted in Meg's dark hair and played with it as Meg stared at her curiously. Blushing red, Nyx began to babble to her about how much leftover Halloween candy Dean had let her eat, about how they let her stay up late while Meg was sick, and how Castiel had taught her about something called the Milky Way. How he'd let her stay with him to watch over her.

Meg decided that the brothers putting Nyx on a sugar high or how Castiel was going to spoil her was not something she was going to think about right now. The serious side to Nyx was gone and that happy child was back, talking a mile a minute and trying to tell her everything she could as fast as she could though her words started to run together.

Castiel walked away from the Winchesters and Meg noticed his agitation. He took in several deep breaths and then spun on his heel, pacing the other way.

"Mind slowing down?" the demon asked. Nyx looked up at Castiel as well. "I'm still a bit dizzy."

He didn't. "They want us all to split up. Nyx stays with them, and we go out of town for a week. The monsters are looking for you and I specifically."

"That sounds…."

"It makes sense," Dean argued defensively from the doorway. "Eve is going to be making a play soon, Azazel is still looking for you, Meg, and they will know Nyx is around you. The monsters that escaped likely know how to track you and Eve is a hell of a lot stronger than any monster you've come up against. She'll find you and she won't play any nicer than that Adam monster."

Castiel opened his mouth to argue but Meg shrugged and stood up, patting Nyx's head. "It makes sense."

"Wait, hold on. You agree with me? You?" Dean obnoxiously reached out to her face. "You have to be feverish. Let me feel."

"Screw off." Meg batted his hand away. "I'm not strong enough; it's obvious that I'm still ready to crash for a bit. They had us long enough and you can't tell me those things aren't smart enough to think up some way to track me. Castiel too."

The angel looked away.

"So you go undercover, so to speak." Dean made a face. "Sam drove your car back here, so you can take that and get out of town. Lead them in a big circle and wait them out, confuse them. Then Cas brings you back here." He looked at the angel again. "Cas? Input?"

"This is not what I would do. I think we should stay together."

Dean grabbed his arm to keep him from pacing again. "I get that, but she's not one hundred percent, Cas. We can protect Nyx and you can keep watch over Meg." The suspicious look he was given he ignored. "So what can you do to help, Castiel?"

The full use of his name made Castiel glare all the harder. "Physical manifestation and pattern loop. Multiple versions of myself with my scent and Meg's to lead them astray."

"Wait, angels give off scents?" Sam asked.

Meg nodded. "Why is that a shock?"

"Nevermind on how you know that, Meg." Dean looked down at Nyx. "How about you stay with us? All the candy you can eat," he tempted her.

She looked so ready to argue that Meg touched her head again. Obediently, Nyx simply hugged Meg's leg.

"Fine. We get my car and we can go our separate ways, again," Meg said and she leaned forward to try to seem menacing again. "But if anything happens to her, I gut you, got it?"

Both brothers looked annoyed. "Nice to have you back, Meg," Dean drawled.

"I bet it is."

---

The Winchesters let Meg rest for several days before they began packing up her car for her. The demon spent most of her time moving around the bunker, trying to regain the full use of her body before she left, and Nyx stayed with her whenever she could. For once Meg hadn't commented on that, just let her stay as close as she liked.

Besides Nyx, Castiel was almost a hovering shadow that guarded her, but for all of his intentions to 'talk', they never had a moment alone. Between the Winchesters helping him with the spell he needed, Nyx's neediness, and her own exhaustion, they resorted to almost indifferent conversation when they did see each other.

As the hours ticked by slowly, there was always with a lingering tension that Meg was finding harder and harder to ignore. Now, faced with a week alone with the angel, she wasn't so sure she was looking forward to it anymore than he was. Especially if the silence and awkwardness continued.

Dean had spent the week tinkering with the old machine so it started to run better and though Meg never thanked him, he had enjoyed it. It kept him busy and he needed that to keep his mind off his heart problems and Sam's ever present headaches.

When he finally tossed her keys the day she was to leave, Meg casually asked if he cut her brakes and he had ignored that, leaving her to follow him to a grocery store near the town limits. The old parking lot behind the store was in the open and with just enough of a constant stream of traffic that the hunters and demon wouldn't be noticed if anything strange happened.

"We're stocking you up," Dean said to Meg as he carried a bag for her and dropped it into the back of the Cougar. "Gonna keep this brief. Cas pulls his spell, you get one week and then you come to the bunker. Should be enough to lead them off."

"You hope." Meg rummaged through her own duffel bag. Castiel had been quick to get it from the cabin so that she would at least have clothing versus running around in his old clothes.

"Well, better Nyx with us right now than with you."

"Funny."

"I'm telling you the truth. She's going to be upset but I know Cas and he'll do okay. Once he gets his head in the game, that is."

The demon looked at where Nyx was sitting grumpily in the backseat of the Impala. "You know, Winchester, I'm still trying to figure out why this happened. Cas, Nyx." Her eyes dragged away. "You and your brother."

Dean finished rolling a hexbag under a blanket in the trunk and looked up to see Sam helping Nyx out of the Impala. "You know, the more I tried to figure it out, the less I actually understood. Just better not to think about it." He looked over at Meg and handed her a knife, not caring about being seen. "Three years and none of us have figured it out anyway."

She looked at him thoughtfully. "So why did you help me, Dean-o?"

"Because I like to think I'm a better man than my father," he muttered. He gestured at the bags. "Hexbags, spell ingredients, spare clothes even. You guys don't need food. Even gave you some money but I figure either Cas can do something about that or you can go steal."

"Free license for anarchy. Love it," Meg said, smirking at him. Dean lifted his hand between them to gesture for her to hide the knife better.

"You're feeling better."

Her nose wrinkled a little. "I had a few days of R and R, Dean. I'm ready to do damage."

Dean ignored that. "One more time. You and Cas lead them off on a fun little side trip, Cas's spell gets to work, then you get to the bunker as well. We clear?"

"Crystal. Thanks for the repetition, teach."

"Good." Dean looked down at Nyx as she squeezed between them. "Hopefully it's not a temper tantrum the entire way back."

Meg arched an eyebrow. "Who does she look like? Sam?"

The taller man glared down at her but Meg was already crouching before Nyx. "Did you say goodbye to Castiel?" she asked and she nodded, eyes going over her shoulder. Castiel stood right behind Sam, carrying another duffel bag.

"Be good, Nyx," he warned as he nudged Sam away and she nodded up at him. "We'll catch up in a few days."

Nyx eyed Meg next. "Gonna be good."

"Yes, you are," Dean said as he leaned against the Impala. "Or we sell you to the closest Fairy."

She gave a small shocked sound and Castiel glared at him, putting his hand on Nyx's head to comfort her. "Dean."

"Dean's only saying that because he almost had to service Oberon before," Sam said devilishly.

At Meg's snort, Dean looked. "Shut up."

Shaking her head, Meg looked at Nyx again. "You stay safe, okay?"

Nyx wrapped her arms around her neck and held on. "Don't want to go."

"You'll be fine, Nyx," Meg muttered before she gently peeled her off. "Take care of Sam and annoy Dean, got it?" The little face was starting to crumple up as Nyx sobbed and the demon sighed. "After this, we'll go some place new, okay? Where you'll be safe."

The sobbing stopped abruptly. Fingers twisting in Meg's hair, Nyx hesitated then nodded, accepting with incredible trust that Meg wasn't lying to her. When Sam scooped her up, she looked at her mother and then at Castiel. She waved over Sam's shoulder at them and Meg spotted Castiel waving good-bye to her.

Not sure why it stung her as well, she turned her back on them.

Listening to the Impala starting to pull away, she focussed on checking the bags of supplies the Winchesters had given them. Enough to keep them on the run for a little while at least. Making sure the knife was tucked into her belt, Meg turned and then took a step back in surprise when she noticed Castiel at the side of her car. He was already changed into jeans, his jacket and overcoat hanging on the car door, and he didn't seem to notice how cold the air was or that there were a few people passing them as he unbuttoned his dress shirt next.

Half-naked, he turned and she thought she saw more than a little bit of scar tissue decorating his back as his skin stretched taut over his lean muscles. Muttering about humans and clothing, Castiel buttoned up a white shirt and as he moved beside her Meg glimpsed a strip of tattooing on his side before he covered it. After flipping his collar down, Castiel gave his hair a brief ruffle and made sure his belt was snug around his narrow hips and his jeans were zipped. Meg stared, utterly confused by the sight of him so casually dressed, as Castiel tossed his coat and the rest of his suit in the duffel bag.

He shouldered past her to put the bag in the trunk, rummaging through his clothes to find his small journal and a jacket Dean had left for him. When he straightened up and caught her staring, Castiel finished zipping the bag and turned sideways to look at her.

Meg licked her lower lip and tilted her head on the side as she stared at him up and down in a slow, wandering gaze.

"What's wrong?" Castiel asked, shrugging on the jacket. He didn't notice how Meg quickly stole his journal and tucked within her own coat.

"Besides when you lost your memory and went all healer Emmanuel on the world, I've never seen you look so… so…" She snapped her fingers for the word. Castiel's casual look was bizarre to her but for some reason she couldn't stop staring. "Human."

"I assumed a disguise would help me," he said. "As much as the coat became a part of who I am… it makes me a target. This way I am more inconspicuous."

"Mm."

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "What?"

"Nothing." She bit back a grin, knowing he'd caught her leering. "Human eh?"

"Get in the car, Meg." He took the keys from her and slammed the trunk down. "I'll drive since you're still weak."

"Since when can you drive?" Meg asked curiously though she went to the passenger side. Castiel said nothing, just slid into the driver seat, and he meticulously arranged the rearview mirror and his seat to accommodate his longer legs. When he fumbled with the keys, she chuckled in amusement, and as if embarrassed he jabbed the key into the ignition angrily.

Satisfied at the way the Cougar's engine nearly purred to life, Castiel revved the car and put it into drive, slowly heading towards the parking lot's exit.

"All that time as a human and you don't think I could manage to learn to drive?" he asked, countering her earlier question.

"Well, I figured you were back to wings so why bother? I mean, compared to wings, driving has to be for pussies."

She gasped when he gunned the engine and whipped the car out of the parking lot in a neat spin that he corrected expertly. The car's momentum forced Meg to clutch the dashboard to keep from slipping to the floor. The Cougar flew down the road in the opposite direction of the bunker, running better now that Dean had fixed its engine. Pushing herself back up on her seat, Meg gaped at Castiel but he kept his attention on the road.

"Okay okay, point made," she snapped.

"Good." She didn't miss his tiny smirk when he side-eyed her. "Anything else?"

"No, I'm good." Meg quickly buckled her seatbelt, not trusting him. Castiel continued to smirk as he let the old car settle before he eased up on the gas to let it coast. His hands stayed clenched the steering wheel's base and when Meg looked at him again he seemed tense.

"You're angry?"

"I didn't want to leave her with them," Castiel said and then he shrugged a shoulder. He looked through the rearview as if he expected to see the Impala behind them.

Despite her earlier words, Meg softened a little. "Better us than leading Eve or Azazel to her."

The angel braked for a light and looked over at her. "What if they are more after you this time? And Nyx was a distraction?"

She smirked and looked away. "Pretty sure Eve is after both of us. Your big brother killed Adam and he was pretty attached to her from the sounds of it. But we can fight better on our own for now, and you and I both know that until things settle down we can't do a thing but wait. You do your big spell, we keep low. It's not forever, Cas."

"Three years felt like forever," he muttered as he drove off again, headed for a more remote area outside of Lebanon where he could start the spell. Meg leaned back and propped her feet up on the dashboard.

"We learn to deal, Cas." She reached out and fiddled with the radio dial but Castiel gave her hand a warning slap.

"I pick the music."

"You think that Winchester rules apply?" she demanded but he didn't answer. His silence irritated her. "This is my car!"

"I think my ability to toy with radio frequencies should be a warning."

As if to prove his point, the dial moved on its own to an old country station and immediately a twangy love song whined through the speakers.

Meg rolled her eyes and turned her head to look away from him. "This is Hell."

"Yes, well." He turned the radio to an old rock station instead. "You would know."

---

The vampires standing on the roadway inhaled deeply as they watched the car shoot by. Made by the Alpha himself, they were both old and very powerful, so much so that all they had to do was stretch their senses out to track their prey. Eve had sent her orders to all of her children and with those orders had come the shards of memory Adam had left behind, of smells and appearances. They were to look for a trench-coated angel and a demon who had bittersweet scent.

"The angel is in the car?" the female asked and her mate nodded.

"Tell the mother. They are travelling fast but we can catch them shortly."

---

Several miles outside of Lebanon, Castiel pulled over and parked the car in a wood lot. Retrieving his supplies from the trunk, he quickly mixed together drops of his blood, a few strands of Meg's hair, and enough herbs to cover all aspects of the spell he wanted. Setting the bowl afire, he crouched on the ground between two trees and began to sketch chalk lines in the dirt.

Sitting on the hood of the Cougar, Meg swung her legs back and forth, already so bored she was thinking of whining at him. A short distance away, Castiel continued to draw his lines and his wards before carefully setting the burning bowl between two marker lines. When he didn't seem to want to pay any attention to her, Meg shifted her weight and pulled the journal out to look at a few pages, curiosity getting the better of her.

It was nearly illegible scrawl to her, with dates acting as headers counting down. Chewing on her lower lip, Meg turned several pages and ran her fingers over the worn paper. It looked more like a scrapbook than a journal to her. He had pasted news clippings, wrote occasionally in Enochian, and drew pictures of some landmarks. The small journal was so layered and so misshapen that it was no wonder he handled it with such care. Her eye caught one of the newer pages that had been threaded in, where the paper was still crisp and the ink clear, and she carefully turned to it.

Three years ago…

Before she could read more than those three words, she was aware of a shadow going over the page and glanced up to see Castiel standing before her. His hands were clenched in fists at his side and he looked pointedly down at the book.

"Where did you get that?"

"Well, I'm fresh out of reading material. Wondered if this was like reading Castiel the Spy or something," she said, thumbing through the pages as if his glare didn't bother her.

"It was very personal but…." He stopped and reached out to take the book from her. When her hand held on, he shook his head and pointedly turned to the page where a news-clipping of meteorite showers unfolded. "This is where you should start. It was a few days after I left the bunker. The first time, anyway."

Confused that he hadn't yelled at her, Meg watched him turn away to pour Holy Oil onto the circle's marks. She set the journal down and watched him as he raised his hands and his eyes began to glow. He began a low recital of guttural Enochian and Latin blended together into a spell, and the wind picked up dramatically enough that she rolled her own eyes.

Whatever.

But her jaw dropped just a little as the herbs he had thrown down began to rise and turn in the wind and with a flash of light suddenly she was staring at a duplicate of Castiel. Only this angel was in a tan overcoat, standing next to a small brunette in dark denim and leather. Fascinated, she scooted off the car as another copy of them both rose on the opposite side, and then another duo. Three versions of the angel and demon stood before her.

"Whoa, someone learned some big boy spells," Meg muttered and she went up to a copy of her meatsuit. The blank stare didn't appear to see her at all and when Castiel spoke abruptly the copy walked off on its own. All the Castiels and Megs walked off in opposite directions and that strange smell Meg had always attributed to Castiel and a smell of sulphur went with them. The odours were so strong that she actually wanted to sneeze.

"Where did you learn to do this?" she called out as the six illusions continued to walk away. His eyes no longer glowing, Castiel dropped his hands and turned towards her.

"I had to do something with all the time on my hands as a human. Spells took me time to perfect but they kept me fighting." He came back towards her, the hem of his jeans dragging in the dirt and his hair ruffled by the wind he had caused. He looked so vulnerable and human to her and Meg wasn't sure how it made her feel. Castiel didn't appear to realize the difference. "But with my Grace, spells are easier to manipulate. With those six out, the monsters will have to track every one of them. Their scents are stronger from the spell and the illusions will hold for days before they fall apart. It's a distraction."

"Not a bad plan." She reached out and patted his shoulder condescendingly. "What a smart boy you are."

Glaring at her, Castiel picked up the car keys and gruffly told her to get back in the car.

---

Sam propped up the spell book in his lap and leaned back on the couch. Across from him, Nyx was humming and drawing now. After a furious temper tantrum about Meg and Castiel having left her, Dean had wheedled her with chocolate milk until she had sat down to sulk instead. The break had given the brothers enough time to research what they could on Eve and Dean had already called Kevin to get him back to the bunker. With the bunker's more extensive archives, they hoped something, anything, could tell them what to expect.

A sudden tap to his knee made Sam put the book down and stare at Nyx. She held a drawing out to him. "What's this?" he asked indulgently of the black dots scattered over the page.

"Monsters."

"Why monsters? Monsters don't fly."

"Not all of them," Nyx said as if it was some secret. She handed him another drawing, mostly blue scribbles around badly sketched fish.

"A… beach?" he tried and she nodded. "You really want to go to a beach, huh?"

But something in her shuttered up a little and she snatched her drawing back. "Beaches are scary."

"Well." He reached out and drew a happy face with his marker on one of her fish. "You be very good and we'll teach you how to swim. That way you won't be scared."

"Oh!" There was something about the way that Nyx rolled her eyes and stomped her foot, as if he just didn't get it, that reminded Sam so much of both Castiel and Meg that he could only stare at her in wonder.

---

The slow drag of the car coming to a halt woke Meg from her doze after her eighth hour in the car. Wincing at the cramp in her neck, she opened her eyes to see the neon sign of a motel and bar glowing down at her. The Cougar made a low choking sound as Castiel cut the engine and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. Stifling a yawn, Meg ran her eyes over the building and noticed the trucks and old cars that had packed the lot.

"I needed a rest," the angel said when he noticed her eyes were open.

"Thought you could go all night," Meg said, letting the innuendo drip off her tongue as she turned her head. Castiel looked back at her, clearly about to say something. But when her eyes met his, he seemed to rethink it.

"It's been a long day. We're near St. Louis, I think." He shrugged. "I don't want to go too far out from Kansas. This is as good a spot as any and the city gives us some cover."

"A simple 'no, I can't anymore', would have been fine," she muttered as she unbuckled her belt and slipped out of the car. Castiel followed her and watched her stretch, Meg groaning at the satisfying pull on her muscles moving after being cramped in the car for so long without a break. When she caught him staring, he quickly jerked his gaze back to the car and popped the trunk to grab the wallet and cash Dean had loaned him.

"I'm going to get a room for you. I think staying in one spot for now, keeping our ear close to the ground… that isn't such a bad idea. The weather is going to turn bad soon, from what the radio station said." He counted off some bills and Meg squinted over his shoulder at his fake ID.

"Steve? You went by Steve for a while?" He looked over his shoulder at her and she made a face. "That's a terrible name for you."

"I went by it for months as a human. It seemed to work fine."

"Lacks some mystery, angel." She shrugged. "Do what you want. I don't sleep. Minus the nap time when I get bored."

Castiel put the trunk down with a sigh. "It is just easier, Meg." Resting back on the car, he held out a twenty. "You can go and get something to eat. I will get the room."

Meg arched an eyebrow at the sight of the money. "I don't eat," she started but it was obvious that he wasn't feeling charitable to her sarcasm. Taking the bill, she shook her head. "Fine. Grouchy when you've been driving, huh?"

He ignored that and turned away to look at the motel. "I'll see about double beds. Judging by the amount of cars, separate rooms might be…."

"What's the point? You don't sleep and neither do I. Go for cheap, Cas, and just get a single room. We're going to be here a bit." Without pausing to see his reaction, Meg brushed by him and went towards the bar. She didn't notice the frustrated warning look he shot at two men that whistled at her or how he vanished from sight in the next moment.

---

The motel manager groaned and cursed as he watched the weather channel. Nothing else to do but wait for the storm to roll in and roll out as usual. Probably would bring in several feet of snow, what with how crazy the weather had been lately. Propping his chin up on his hand, he sighed and tapped on the remote volume.

"A new system is moving in, with a possible risk of a snow storm. Warnings in effect for all surrounding counties and we are looking forward to a white Christmas." The anchor was so cheery about it that the manager groaned and turned it off with another loud expletive.

"I'm not very fond of happy meteorologists either," a new voice said suddenly and he looked up to see a dark-haired man staring at him, his smile friendly but the expression didn't quite meet his eyes.

"Yeah. Cuts down on business."

"So you have rooms." Castiel leaned close to check his name tag. "Robbie. I can pay in cash."

The manager gave him a look that spoke distrusting volumes. "No paper trail, huh?"

"Do you have a room or not?" Castiel asked more forcefully. "I need it for nearly a week."

"Always have rooms in the down season. You need a few or just the one?"

The angel hesitated, debating on asking for two, but then shrugged. "Just one. I don't need sleep and she…"

"She?" The scruffy manager winked. "Say no more. I got ya."

Castiel blinked at the almost lecherous look. "What?"

"I'm all for some fun on the side. Girl better be worth it if you're buying a room for a week," he said and Castiel only nodded in a bewildered way, handing over a few of bills when he named his price. Still puzzling over the manager's wink, he thanked the man and left.

It was when he was facing the bed on his own that the motel room suddenly seemed too small for two of them, and he realized what the man had thought about him and Meg. Well, what Castiel thought was inferred at least by that knowing grin and wink he'd been given. It was strange that that simple human had managed to make him, an angel, actually feel nervous about a situation that he was sure Meg hadn't been considering when she suggested just the one room.

Setting down the duffel bags, Castiel swallowed deeply and looked nervously at the bed one last time before leaving to find where the demon had gone.

---

The bar was loud, packed with a party of rowdy men and women, but they were so focussed on their revelling they had left Meg alone for the most part after a few bad attempts at flirting. She was left alone with her drinking, which was the best thing to happen so far after that long drive. Besides the lack of humans bother her, she liked the bar; it was all old hardwood, a strong whisky smell mixed with smoke and not a single demon in sight.

Meg rested her chin on her palm and stared up at the bar TV. The weather was being upgraded from possible storm to a definite one coming in. Go figure.

She heard the bar stool being pulled out slowly beside her and tensed instinctively. Fingers tightening on the beer bottle, she simply kept her eyes on the screen and tilted the bottle to her lips to take a longer swallow. When she heard the stool scrape on the floor again, she felt her skin prickling at the same time and knew who it was causing such a reaction.

"Can I sit with you?"

Her eyes closed and she set the bottle back down. "Might as well." Meg looked over at Castiel as he sat beside her and made himself comfortable. "Don't want to see you getting hit on by those rougher-than-average truckers over there."

He glanced across her down the bar to where the bachelor party had gone over into the pool room. "You know that some of them are skinwalkers?"

"Mmhmm. Not bad guys, actually. Unlike the humans, they backed down when I said thanks but no thanks. Not a hint that they've been infected." She shrugged. "Figured taking them out back to off 'em would raise some eyebrows but they seemed clueless as to what I was. Must be all that soap I used earlier."

Castiel rested his elbows on the bar before rubbing tiredly at his face, and Meg watched him. "So this is our big plan?" she asked. "Hang out until something happens to us?"

He shrugged, fingers scratching down his scruffy chin. "Not much else we can do. If there are monsters are in the area and we can distract them by being here, Dean and Sam can get things cloaked in Lebanon."

She looked down at her bottle. "I really don't like the thought of leaving her with them."

"Like you said, they were the best choice, Meg."

"Yeah."

"If I could find anything funny about this, it would be that two humans are a better choice than an angel or demon." Castiel suddenly smiled crookedly and raised a hand to order a beer. When he turned back to her, he almost seemed relaxed. "It's strange because despite what she is, both Dean and Sam are somewhat attached to her."

"Not a bad thing, I guess." Meg rolled her eyes and rested her chin back down on her hand. "So we have what… six days to go? Is your little trick working?"

"Beyond those skinwalkers, I've not felt anything." He paid for his beer when it arrived and took a long drink. He nearly finished the bottle before he set it down and looked around the room again. Meg crossed her legs and looked back up to stare at his reflection in the bar mirror. He appeared to be as tired as she felt, which for creatures such as them was rare.

"Six days. That's a long time, Castiel," Meg said, tapping her fingers against her chin. She tilted her head and rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "We're going to have to find some way to occupy ourselves for those days."

She looked over at him and slowly he turned his head toward her, his blue eyes already narrowed as he took in her face. Meg held the stare and flashed him a lazy grin when she saw the curiosity in his gaze. His eyes dropped from hers and Castiel looked away at his bottle again while Meg turned back to her drinking, and he finished the remainder with a loud gulp.

Meg took her own time drinking, savouring the cool taste of hops as she watched the humans continue their party. Castiel appeared deep in thought, checking his phone now and then as if expecting a call from the Winchesters already. The silence was beginning to make the thick tension between them.

Meg was getting to her feet to try to attract the bartender for another drink when Castiel's hand wrapped around her elbow and held her back. His grip squeezed just a little to warn her and Meg turned to see him standing too close to her. She had to tilt her head back to meet his gaze and whatever it was she saw made her stomach twist into a painful knot. Before she could pull away, the air shifted around them and suddenly they were outside in the parking lot.

Castiel's fingers loosened on her arm only to lift and dive into her hair and he held her still, pressed between him and her old car.

"You're teasing me. Like you used to," he whispered and she grinned at the way his other hand stroked over her cheek. He let her go when Meg didn't answer him right away. She could feel the faintest sensation of a threat there and still wore her cocky grin as she walked around him a little.

"You can remember that?" Meg asked, stepping back into his space.

His eyes were on her mouth and she leaned up slowly, knowing exactly what he was thinking. Knowing what he wanted to do. Both of them could remember the other times they had touched, the sheer brutality and anger that had bit at them both, and that almost shy kiss just days before.

It was why this time seemed to be far more intense, when faced with the fact that they were alone and no longer able to hide from each other.

Castiel was still staring at her mouth.

"May I kiss you?" he asked suddenly and she tilted her head back. He still hadn't looked away from her. "I'd like to ask rather than be stabbed for assuming I can."

She grinned and lifted her hand up his chest to rest over his heart. It was banging away furiously and when her eyes met his she could see how dilated his eyes were.

"Yes."

He leaned forward, his movements slow and calm in contrast to the rapid beating of his heart beneath Meg's hand, and his lips grazed hers.

Loud honking pulled them apart as a carful of teenagers cruised by in a pickup. Meg arched a brow as the kids shouted at them to get a room and she saw the faint stain of blush on his face at being caught. The fact that an angel could be embarrassed by something he should have long gotten over almost made her smile. She didn't look away though, just waited for him to look up at her. But Castiel was focussing everywhere else but her, as if he was confused about what he wanted from her.

Meg didn't blame him. She was just as confused by the change between them but the tension was crackling and growing. The heat between them felt so thick that she knew she had to get him to focus again.

"Clarence," Meg murmured and his eyes darted back hers at her sudden use of his old nickname. His lips were still half-parted, an invitation she was willing to take, and she leaned up to him. Her mouth hovered just under his, teasing him with breath and promise. Castiel's eyes closed until all she could see was the faintest slivers of blue.

"You haven't called me that in a long time," he whispered back and she could taste him in the air that brushed over her lips. She wet her lips and felt him jerk when the moist touch of her tongue grazed his lower lip.

"I know. Come on. Kiss me," she ordered, softening the terse order with a brush of her hand under his jacket, her knuckles brushing his abdomen. "Do you remember how?"

She caught the faint light in his eyes, one that reminded her of the glint that had been there years ago when his face had been in firelight and he'd managed to surprise her with a near-seduction. His head dropped, closing the inches between them, and she gasped as his hands gripped her hips to pull her up a little before his lips sank into hers. Tasting his breath within her mouth, Meg tilted her head and lifted a hand to cup his head, her fingers trailing over the nape of his neck. The kiss was familiar, but there was also a hesitation there.

She ended the kiss quickly and stared up at him. She could see him trying to guess what she was up to and grinned at the uncertainty in those eyes.

"Come on, Clarence," she muttered, "kiss me like you mean it. I know you can."

His grip on her tightened and she found herself whipped around and crushed into the Cougar's door. Before she could speak his mouth was on hers again and his hand was in her hair, pulling hard enough that she had to tip her head back. Parting her legs, she pressed into him and shivered.

This kiss was hot and fierce, somehow more startling because of the change in Castiel's force. The faint keening sound in her throat was one of pleasure as his other hand roamed over her body in possessive strokes and she gripped the back of his head in return, pulling on his hair. She felt his teeth grate over her lower lip and she opened her mouth wider, stabbing her tongue against his. He groaned, the sound vibrating through his larger body, and she grinned into the kiss as she let her hands go down his chest.

Now this was the kind of kiss she remembered from this angel.

It was needy, desire-laden, and intense. Meg ran her fingers back up his body and cupped the side of his face, her head tilting further back as he stepped into her and the kiss became even deeper. The rasp of his scruffy jaw against her skin and the way he responded to her biting of his lip with his own nips gave the kiss that spark of reality she somehow needed.

Castiel suddenly flicked her coat open and cupped her breast, testing the weight of it in his hand before he broke the kiss. Ignoring her protest that she didn't actually need that much air, he lowered his head and his lips rested over her pulse, sucking hard enough that her words turned another moan. The hand on her breast squeezed gently in time with how his lips moved on her skin.

"Hell… Cas…" She held onto his head and leaned over to suck at his earlobe, her fingers going through his dark hair to hold him steady.

Castiel's mouth moved up her neck, peppering her skin with biting kisses that stung and soothed all at once. When she lipped at his earlobe again, he groaned and rested his mouth against hers for a moment before he moved back.

His breath coming fast and hard, he stared at her with wide eyes as his tongue flicked out across his swollen lips.

"I- I forgot what that was like," Castiel admitted. "How intense it could be."

Meg had to clear her throat. "Really? Because the bunker was…"

He shook his head, clearly not wanting to remember that. "I don't think that was close to how this felt."

A bit unsteady herself, Meg looked down between them and she felt Castiel start to move back towards her.

The loud ring of his phone made him groan and turn away to answer.

"What?" he snarled and Dean's hesitant hello made him sigh. "Dean. Sorry."

Meg huffed and backed away but Castiel caught her arm in his hand and held on.

"Yes, I can talk. You heard something?"

With his hand in Meg's, Castiel began to talk to Dean and didn't seem to notice her frustration as he led her towards the motel.

---

Interrupted. Again.

Some crappy record had to exist that they were trying to beat, Meg figured as she scrubbed at the edges of her shirt with the soap. After her shower, she'd peeked out and noticed that the angel was still talking on the phone. Washing her shirt was the better choice than awkwardly waiting for him to finish. Stealing a new one wouldn't work; half the people staying in the motel were little old ladies or bikers who had two hundred pounds on her.

Eavesdropping shamelessly, she listened to him and Dean discussing the routes monsters could take, the storm coming in, and even how the spell had worked. Annoyed with how dull his conversation was, Meg pushed her wet hair out of her eyes and focussed on the shirt. When Castiel had pushed her into the car it had smeared road dust all up the pristine white shirt.

Thinking of that moment made her shiver a little. They had come so close again and with a suddenness she had been prepared to enjoy but the interruption had made stolen all of that heat and desire. The walk to the motel room had been awkward, Castiel talking to Dean on the phone as if he was trying to distract himself from her, and knowing that he hadn't put the phone down made Meg wonder if he was now doing it deliberately.

With the door open, she could hear when Castiel's low voice, amazingly, lightened a little in its grimness and Meg instantly knew he was talking to Nyx. His voice was still low and gravelly, but no longer as cold when talking to her.

He did love that little girl, she admitted to herself.

Standing half-naked before the sink, Meg tossed her shirt over the shower rack and started to blot her hair with a towel. It was hard not to think unsure thoughts about what she wanted to happen after he hung up the phone.

---

Castiel clicked off the phone and sighed as he leaned back in the ragged armchair. Hearing Nyx's chatter and Dean's reassurances that nothing was following them had been what he needed to hear. He could go out, lay traps for the monsters if they followed, and wait until Meg was settled before returning. Maybe keeping himself busy would help the tension he was experiencing.

Except he made no move to leave. As he listened to Meg running the taps again, he thought maybe he could stay and wait to see what she wanted to do. He was sure Meg was feeling better; she had felt so alive when he had touched her, when he had kissed her. He just didn't know what to do with what had happened between them. Her response to his kiss had been unexpected and intense, and he had been surprised at how he had nearly lost his control when he had felt how willing she was.

The creak of the door opening wider thanks to the bathroom fan's breeze made him look up to see Meg standing at the sink. She was busy rubbing at her hair and didn't seem to care that he was staring at her.

Castiel swallowed as he took in the slopes and dips of her body as Meg leaned back a little from the sink to untangle a knot. He had been human long enough that he was aware of the physical attraction he could have for a body now and he felt it throbbing through him. He also knew that it was mostly because of who was in the body that he was attracted to her. He wanted the demon and the body she wore had little to do with that.

Meg's belt was undone, dangling from her belt loops so that her jeans rode impossibly low on her slim hips. Castiel watched the spill of her hair over her shoulders as she looked back up at the mirror, and suddenly he felt the urge to touch her when he saw the damp waves of her hair caress the top of her breasts and the lace edges of her bra. When she swiped the towel down over her stomach, he followed the slow way it circled over her skin

Even from though the rest of the room was dimly lit, the light in the bathroom gave her an odd glow and Castiel tried to make himself look away but failed completely. Faced down with what he felt and wanted, he knew if he didn't leave he would make a fool of himself like he had had at the bunker.

He knew how he loved her and it wasn't fair that, after all the time together and all that time spent apart, he was still so unsure about the one demon he knew better than any other. He had felt her desire earlier but if it was just for the sake of sex then he should have had no urge to step further. Castiel wanted more than just lust from Meg and he wanted it with a greediness he had learned from being human.

That was, at least, what he kept telling himself as he sat and watched her continue to towel her hair. The moment was reminding him of three years ago when he had watched her dry herself and he wondered if she realized that.

Then he spotted was the slightest tilt to her head that convinced him she knew that he was watching. Their eyes met across the short distance as she reached forward to turn on the sink taps, her fingers playing in the water. He saw her eyes move, just a little, towards him and she gave him a knowing smirk before turning her attention back to the mirror.

Castiel swallowed loudly and looked away from her to steady himself, before reaching out to put his phone on silent.

---

Meg's head tipped forward to watch the water drain down the sink as the taps ran hot water over her hands. She could still feel the coolness of the room on her damp skin. It felt good to just stand and imagine her body was still warm from the shower though she was already aware of the cold settling in already.

Knowing that Castiel watched her had made a part of her want to taunt him for his inaction, which was why she had taken her time with the water and the towelling, but now she was too tired for much more teasing. Either they'd go back to that distance between them, which would make for an awkward week together, or everything would come out in the open.

She was aware of how on edge she was when she heard him move around in the main room and she closed her eyes to take a deep breath.

When her eyes opened, his reflection was in the mirror. Castiel had toed off his sneakers and socks in order to sneak up on her without zapping and they stared at one another as he stood in the doorway. The angel looked as stoic and expressionless as ever, until she noticed he wasn't looking anywhere but at her face with that sort of deep gaze that said he was seeing her trueface. Meg resisted the urge to let her true self out, to show him every dark demon part of her, but Castiel's eyes roamed slowly from her feet to her face and then went to her eyes. The look was something she remembered from three years ago when she'd opened a door and invited him to spend a lonely night with her.

When she turned she was met by his touch on her shoulder, before his fingers slid into her damp hair to draw her up close. His breath drifted across her mouth when he stooped to kiss her, his teeth clicking briefly against hers before he found the right angle. Meg's startled moan gave way to a deep-throated growl when his lips nudged hers apart in a slow kiss, and she lifted her hands to clutch his shoulders. Castiel deepened the kiss when he felt her eager response, his other hand going up over her stomach and stroking the smooth skin below her bra straps. Meg turned her head with his, fingers moving into his hair to tug a little, and she stroked her tongue over his lower lip.

Breaking the kiss, he leaned over her shoulder to turn the taps off, pressing her into the sink as he did so.

"I know we said we should talk," he whispered against her mouth.

"Doesn't feel like we're going to talk," Meg said, chuckling as she leaned back against the ceramic and pulled on the waist of his pants. He stumbled into her and she felt his mouth against her ear when he managed to catch his balance.

"I noticed. Maybe it is just that I missed this too much," he admitted, the low words vibrating in her ear and making her shudder. Slowly, Castiel pulled back a little. His nose brushed her ear and she felt the rasp of his scruffy jaw against her cheek as he moved to look into her eyes. He saw her hesitation, the way her eyes dropped to the side as her hands began to curl into fists on his chest, and quickly misread it. "But we can stop this now."

Meg looked back at him with a smirk. "We're fine, Castiel. Trust me; if anything the past few weeks helped give me some… perspective."

He nodded as if that made all the sense in the world before his head bent again. He still acted as if she was the skittish one when she could almost feel him ready to leap out of his skin with nerves. Meg moved so that her body was snug against his as she bent her head back and went onto her toes to kiss him. She heard him moan in gratitude when she kissed him, tongue stroking against his lower lip until his mouth opened and she tasted his tongue. His hand left her side to cradle the back of her head and they twisted together as he lifted her up onto the sink's edge, Meg's hands grasping his shoulders. The jacket he wore slid off him without any real effort on her part and he let it fall to the floor behind him. Meg teetered on the old ceramic sink, moaning as he leaned down and licked at the top of her breasts, his teeth pulling at the edge of her bra and letting it snap back on her skin.

But when he felt her eager hands going to his belt, he brushed them away and stepped back so he could kick his jacket to the side. He saw her annoyance at the distance and leaned back forward to touch his lips against hers, his hips pressing between her legs.

"I'm here. I'm not leaving you," he muttered.

Before she could move again, he covered her mouth with his, tongue stroking her lower lip to coax her mouth to open. Castiel felt her smile into the kiss just before her nails sunk into his shoulders. Hands sliding around her small waist, he tightened his grip and lifted her up off the sink.

With a muffled whine of approval, Meg wrapped her legs around his hips and let him carry her back to the main room without breaking the kiss this time. He held her easily, using his Grace to turn on a lamp so that he could see her more clearly through the shadows. Meg hitched her legs higher around his waist and her hands tightened on his shoulders as she pulled herself up his body with a slow roll of her hips. Her movements made him almost trip over his own feet with how good the constant rocking felt against his groin.

"Slow down," he ordered when she tried to nearly crawl up his body to get more of his mouth. Meg groaned and her nails raked over the back of his neck.

"Time like this and you want slow?" she muttered against his cheek. Castiel shuddered as he felt the pricking of her nails on his neck.

"Slow." His hands held her hips closer to him as he knelt on the bed and laid her down on the mattress beneath him. "We went too fast last time and I want this time with you."

"No use arguing, huh?" Meg countered and he shrugged.

"Not really, no."

She sighed as if she was surrendering. "All right then, Clarence, have at it."

He muttered against her neck that she always had been too impatient and Meg chuckled at the gruffness in his voice. Her eyes went to the ceiling fan and he began to press open mouthed kisses against her chest, teeth nipping at the front closure of her bra and then his tongue travelling along the lace lining. Meg let her legs cradle his hips and felt his fingers tracing up her thighs to the button on her jeans. He was teasing her, she thought, and she squirmed to try to get his hands lower. When he paused, his fingers teasing the waist of her jeans, she sighed heavily in frustration.

Clearly the angel with the photographic memory remembered exactly how this slow and steady approach would make her feel.

"Cas…."

"Shh." He bit gently at the top of her breast before rocking forward so that his mouth was on hers again. Meg groaned at the kiss and his fingers tightened on her legs when she deliberately shifted her hips up into him. She nudged where he was hard and caused a groan when she distracted him from kissing her.

"Still overdressed," she grumbled and reached down to unbutton her jeans for him. Castiel braced himself with an arm and watched her try to wiggle free of the pants, chuckling at the sight of her.

"You're not helping," Meg said.

"I've learned to take a bit humour in this. Watching you do this is almost ador—," Castiel started and the demon glared at him while she managed to push her jeans down to her knees.

"You say adorable and we stop right now," she warned and Castiel lowered his head to hide his grin before he helped her throw the jeans off the bed.

When she settled back down, he let his free hand trace down the flat of her stomach to where it curved just a little, and he ran his finger over the waistband of her underwear. Meg watched his hand, waited for him to do something, but all he did was pull gently at the elastic. Muttering that he was stalling deliberately, she ran her hands down his chest and pushed him back on his knees as she sat up. She nimbly undid the collar of his shirt and began to start on the other buttons.

Distracted by her touch, Castiel brushed her hands out of the way and started doing it himself.

Meg eyed him as he knelt over her, unbuttoning his shirt and looking completely occupied by it. Not sure why, her eyes flicked to the angel sword he'd left on the side-table and she thought she could feel its heat from the distance. But maybe it was just Castiel's own body radiating that energy. Meg rubbed her hand over the top of her breasts and looked back to the lean torso that was being revealed inch by slow inch, and finally Castiel finished the last button and shrugged the shirt off. He noticed her staring and stopped, tilting his head at her curiously as he tossed his shirt into the corner.

"What?"

"You're fitter than I remember." She leaned closer and he jerked a little when her mouth touched the ridge of his stomach. He felt her tongue lap daintily at the Enochian tattoo mark and he shuddered at the pleasure this kiss gave him, at the sparks coursing through his body that he'd forgotten he could feel. Meg hummed against his skin, and Castiel sank his fingers into her hair to hold her in place as she traced her tongue across the tattoo's markings and over his hipbone where it peeked out from just above his jeans.

"Not that you were out of shape before," she continued, ignoring his groan when she paused in her caress, "but you're definitely a little more…. defined now."

As if to accent what she said, she sat closer and let her tongue trace the centre of his chest while her hands held his hips steady against her. She heard his breath coming out shaky and fast and grinned against his chest when his hands quickly cupped her breasts. As if to distract himself, he dove his fingers into the lace bra cups to pull them down, his thumbs rubbing over her nipples so they hardened. But Meg's mouth was moving in snaky trails over his skin, succeeding in unhinging him a little more.

"I'm glad you approve," he said and his breathing hitched again when she leaned up on her knees to run her tongue higher.

"Mm," she moaned in agreement and then gently blew on the wet trail her mouth had left. He shivered again and she chuckled. "Very pretty, Clarence."

Her hands were soon back on his belt buckle but he stopped her, ignoring her frustrated groan as he put his hand on hers, fingers wrapping in hers to keep her from going any further in distracting him. With his other hand Castiel lifted her chin so he could kiss her deeply instead. With all of his desire focussed on her, Meg felt overwhelmed for a moment and she started to pant as Grace singed over her skin, prickling her skin as her darkness rose to meet it. The strange combination felt like an overall ache that made her body yearn for more when he broke the contact.

"Beautiful," he muttered as he watched the way his glow went over her skin when he let his Grace out a little more. She was watching it play over their joined hands, her eyes wide, and Castiel felt something tighten in his stomach when she looked up at him again. "Meg," he began, before he simply tilted his head to kiss her again, her hands going into his hair to hold him through the kiss. Hearing her groan, he slid his palms up over her stomach to cup her breast, squeezing gently, and he moved his mouth to suck at her collarbone as he undid the clasp of her bra.

"How slow are you planning on going?" she asked, hiccupping a little when he knelt against her and nudged her back on the bed with a gentle push until her head met the pillow. His mouth was hot as he licked and bit at the rise of her breasts, going lower than he before. Drawing the bra straps down and tossing it to the corner, he rolled back against her to take a nipple in his mouth and suck. Meg's moan deepened at the pressure of his teeth when they just grazed her sensitive skin. When she reached to clutch his head to her breast, he pulled back and gently squeezed her nipple between his fingers until she shifted again.

His eyes went over the pale length of her body thoughtfully.

"I want to go very slow," Castiel admitted before he began to kiss each rib through her skin. The hands on her breasts continued to knead until she ached and began to arch into the touches.

"I might fall asleep," Meg said sarcastically though her legs fall apart at the touch of his knee. He murmured and shook his head so she felt his dark hair brush the underside of her breast.

"Then I'll keep you awake."

"You are awfully self-confident, aren't you?" she asked and he smiled as his head lifted. Eyes locked on hers, he shifted her legs over his shoulder and stripped her panties off before pressing a warm kiss against the outside of her knee.

"I remember that night when you first let me really touch you," he said as he laid back down beside her, his mouth following the curve of her stomach and tasting the slowly gathering sweat of her skin. "When I told you I loved you."

Her breath hitched a little as he teased a hipbone with his teeth but it wasn't just from the touch of his mouth. The memory was one she had tucked away and it felt as sharp now as it had three years ago.

"How carefully I made sure I learned you and what made you want me." He just brushed the top of her mound with his chin and she closed her eyes, hands going to his hair to guide him. "I wonder if anything changed."

"You're teasing me," Meg muttered and he smiled, nipping at her inner thigh before his mouth moved closer to her.

"Maybe a little."

"I'm starting to fall asleep, and if you don't hurry the hell — oh." Her hips shot up off the bed as he flicked at her clit with his tongue. Castiel chuckled and the sound only made her hips move up, trying to get him closer and closer.

His fingers slid up her thighs as he lapped at her. He groaned when she clenched her thighs around his head and her nails raked through his hair. "Damn, you didn't get rusty, huh?" Meg groaned. Oh hell, she hadn't realized how much…

I missed this. I missed you.

She sank her teeth sharply into her lower lip to keep from saying anything like that.

Castiel's head stayed bent while he gently worked at her. He licked at her again, paused, and then lifted his head. "I don't think I forgot how you tasted. Bitter, dark, and somehow still sweet."

He listened to her moan in response and he clamped his arms around her thighs, keeping her tight to his mouth. Her hips bucked and he forced her to stay still, moaning against her when she cried out. His tongue dove deeper, forcing the sensations to spiral tighter inside of her stomach. Meg twisted a little and felt his hands tightening on her thighs, the angel not seeming to care that she was ready for more. He simply tongued and rubbed at her, content in the moans she was making for him. He held her on the edge with surprising patience, until her body pitched up at his desperately, and he grinned at how loud her protests became when he paused again.

"Let me come," she hissed when he drew back and pressed a kiss to her thigh. His stubble raked on her soft skin and he chuckled, finding it amusing that she threatened him when he was the one who could ease that ache she was feeling. Meg's hips rolled impatiently and when he kissed her thigh again he heard her begin to ramble about angels being bastards.

"Damn it, Cas. Come…on…."

"I miss the way you moaned and the way you'd demand for more. Threatened me." He moved forward and suckled on her clit so hard that Meg squealed and thrust her hips up to him, nearly rolling him off of her.

"Fuck, Cas!"

"Because we both know that you like when I touch you like this. I can hear it. Feel it." He grated his teeth gently over her soft folds and then moved up to kiss her stomach. When her legs fell further apart, his hand slid between her thighs and he let his fingers caress up and down before thrusting them into her. He moaned at how wet she was but he didn't move his mouth any closer to her. "Louder, Meg."

"I hate you," she moaned, hands clutching at his head to try to bring him where she wanted him. Castiel chuckled and leaned back a little, the dark look in his eyes making her roll her own.

"That's not true," he said, starting to pull his fingers free.

"Hell, don't stop!" Her voice had dropped off a little, a desperate edge to it.

"Say it," he murmured, his finger curling forward, his thumb rubbing a slow circle on her clit. He breathed against her as he nuzzled the dark curls between her legs.

She whimpered, body so on edge she was in near pain. "Please…"

"I want more," he whispered, flicking his tongue against the crease of her thigh and hip, and listened to her low hum of disappointment when it wasn't close enough. "You know what I want to hear."

She could barely stand to look at him. The angel had clearly learned to be more confident in his brief time spent as a human and was intent on making her suffer for it. His low groan against the flesh of her thigh when she lifted her hips to try to force him to lick her again made her shudder and he nipped her thigh again.

"Meg?"

Her eyes almost rolled back in her head as he simply breathed on her, waiting.

"I-I…" She squeezed her eyes shut. "I still want you."

He hesitated, his other hand stroking her leg and she opened her eyes. His head lifted from her thighs and she saw him looking at her. Blue eyes met brown, equally dark now with desire and heat, and she held his gaze, biting into her lower lip. The hand in his hair tugged gently.

"I need you."

That seemed to be what he wanted as he lowered his head and kissed her intimately again, tongue drawing a circle on her swollen flesh.

"So beautiful," he murmured, eyes darting over her quivering belly to her face. Meg felt something coil in her at that look and then release in a bone-jarring agony.

She cried out his name when he didn't stop licking and thrusting his tongue into her. Even when she came again so suddenly and violently that she nearly lost her strength, when her throat was sore from the cries and her mouth was dry and her body slick with sweat, it wasn't enough until she nearly went limp.

When she managed to catch her breath, she could feel Castiel nuzzling at her stomach.

Hell, she had missed her angel and now there was no denying it to either of them.

Meg shuddered and tugged harder on his hair as she came back down from her high. When her eyes opened, he was looking up at her with an immensely smug and pleased expression. "Kiss me," she ordered, not sure what else to say to him.

In response, Castiel lifted up on his knees over her, pressing his mouth against her neck before lifting his head to look down at her. His fingers tightened on her legs when he saw that look in her eyes that was so familiar. He'd not seen it from another in years and there was something about it that made his stomach clench. She was looking at him as if he was meant for her and she needed him no matter how hard she tried to hide it.

He didn't hesitate any longer. He bent his head and kissed her with all the force he could find, cupping her face and holding her still. His mouth nudged her lips further apart, tongue plunging past her lips, and in answer she ran her hand up his back, digging her nails into his skin. She felt the way he hissed and groaned, shifting until his legs twined with hers. When he moved his mouth away, her eyes searched his face and he shuddered as he felt her feet slipping up his legs. Losing his balance, he carefully lay against her and felt her nip at his ear.

Her head bent to his shoulder as she rubbed against him, wet to his hard, and he let his face rest in her hair. Castiel breathed in the smell of soap, demon, and sex, and dug his fingers into the pillow under her head. Slowly Meg's hand slid down his stomach, palming his cock through his jeans.

His hips jerked forward towards her and Meg chuckled again, bracing up on her elbows. Castiel shifted backward, winching in embarrassment at his own reaction, but she held on gently, putting her mouth to the curve of his shoulder as she sat up with him. His fingers went to her hair, holding gently as she slid her hand beneath his jeans and grasped him. The cold of her hand should have turned him off but all he could do was push himself towards her grip.

"So you learned something," Meg muttered against his chest and he felt her teeth graze his skin again. Castiel's eyes opened and he stared down at the top of her head. Meg's fingers turned warm touching his skin.

"Does that upset you?" he asked. She leaned up and kissed his neck, hearing each groan he made as he continued to make short thrusts against her hand.

"Should it?" she asked but he heard the slight hardness in her voice. "You're trying to overthink this, Castiel."

"I'm…" When her wrist twisted and her hand tightened on the hard flesh it gripped, he made a low choking sound. "Not."

"It matters to you, Cas." She tilted her head down and her hair slithered over her shoulders, framing her face in darkness. "Why? Worried that I'm going to stop?"

"No." He had his eyes shut.

"Worried that I might not?" Her breath was suddenly against his mouth and his eyes opened to see her only inches away. She was still stroking him with knowing, long caresses that had him wanting more. But the hesitation she saw in his eyes made her smile and she let him go completely. "Been three years, remember? Don't be such a…"

Castiel grabbed her by the back of her head and pulled her in again, stifling her mocking laughter with his mouth. Her chuckling as he pushed her onto her back was almost infuriating and he kissed her deeper to try to stop the sound. The sound faded into a moan as he gently pried her mouth apart with his fingers. He felt her hands sliding up and down his back again, travelling over the waistband of his pants. Groaning into the kiss, he met Meg's tongue with his and his hands tangled into her hair, knotting it a little in his fingers.

When Castiel heard the jingle of his belt being undone completely, the leather being drawn through the loops with a low slither, he stopped kissing her and looked down between them, where her hands held both sides of his belt. She tugged hard and his body followed, landing so firmly between her legs that she moaned and arched herself towards him. The invitation was clear and he blinked as she began to unbutton him, her legs tangled around his to keep him still. His brain cleared a little when he remembered the last time they'd tried this. He remembered exactly what had happened and why, how it had actually hurt his pride a little.

Stroking his hand down her arm to remove it from his waist, he abruptly sat up and zipped his pants again. Meg pushed herself up, her swollen mouth half-parted in shock when he rolled off of her. Just as out of breath, Castiel stared at her mouth and had to shake himself.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Meg demanded.

Struggling to hide his erection, he stood up and held his hands to the side. "It's okay."

"Oh, you are not going to leave."

"I'll be back," Castiel said before zapping out of the room.

Meg could only stare at the empty space where he had been lying against her, her arms holding nothing but air now. "Damn it, Cas."

Every part of her felt slick with sweat and desire now. Even moving her legs apart and touching herself didn't help ease the lust pounding through her body, she still wanted him so. Her entire body was so edge that she turned over onto her stomach and buried her head in the pillow, groaning as her body tried to come back down. As sated as she should have been from his teasing mouth, she wanted more and when she squeezed her thighs together it gave her another shock of pleasure.

Moaning, she sank her teeth into the pillow and pounded her fist into the mattress.

This constant interruption was killing her and, for a second, she felt another sliver of doubt.

Too fast, you know. He's going to run because of how fast this is going. Wouldn't blame him.

But all she had to do was remember how he'd looked lying against her and she was sure that it hadn't been the wrong choice. He had nearly radiated lust for her, the demon thought logically. Maybe he'd gone to sit on a block of ice or something. She nearly laughed at the thought. Or whatever it was that he did to get himself under control.

It was only a minute longer before she heard something move in the room and turned over a little, half-expecting an attack. A hand gripped her ankle and flipped her over completely, drawing her legs over a pair of lean shoulders. Her eyes fluttered shut as a familiar rough pair of lips pressed a warm kiss against the inside of her thigh, a tongue flicking out to taste her wetness before leaving her just as quickly. Castiel's mouth was on hers before she could gasp out his name, his arm circling around her waist to draw her upward before he braced over her on the bed. Her legs fell about his hips and she groaned at the feeling of his body over hers.

"Where-" She had to pulled back as he almost seemed ready to devour her but he kissed her again to stop her talking. Each time she tried to speak, his mouth simply chased hers and captured it. Eventually, she reached up and pushed his head back. Castiel's eyes stayed on her mouth when she licked her lips.

"Where did you get to? Left me high and not so dry," Meg commented with a grin.

To prove her point, she let her one hand go between her legs. He followed the movement, eyes widening a little before he looked up again.

With an almost innocent shrug, he tossed a box of condoms onto the night stand and Meg turned her head to stare at it, eyebrows arched. Castiel pressed his mouth against her breast and then turned away completely. Even when he threw his pants and boxers over the box, it was hard not to stare and think about him leaving, half-naked, to get them.

"You left in the middle of sex to get those?" she asked, turning her attention back to the angel. "You're serious?"

"Incredibly," Castiel answered. She started to laugh, unable to help it, and Castiel gave an exasperated sound as he put his mouth against her exposed neck. He began to kiss a trail down to her breasts again, moving slowly with each kiss. Her skin seemed to prickle alive under the heat of his tongue and her eyes drooped shut as she relaxed again. The hand stroking her body followed each slope and rise of her curves, before sliding between her thighs again. Meg gave a startled moan, letting her legs open wider as he stroked her to feel the slickness he'd caused.

"You're sure we should do this?" he asked against her breast and Meg grinned.

"Yeah. Better late than—" her breath hitched as he pressed his thumb against her clit, "-never."

He made a sound like a groan and a curse, and eased his hand away from her. The crinkle of plastic wrapper made her snicker though she didn't look at what he was doing. When she felt him give her an admonishing grunt and bite against her nipple, she did laugh and opened her eyes.

"Condoms, huh?" she asked as Castiel pulled away to put one on. He did it with such focus that it was hard not to snicker again, but he seemed so earnest over it. She kept an eyebrow arched as she watched and he met her smirk with a serious frown.

"You said you didn't want to fall pregnant if it was possible and I…"

"Don't want a repeat of last time?" Meg finished, trying to keep the mood light, and he moved further up onto her body to nuzzle at her neck. Her hips rolled a little as he stroked down her sides to cup her hips and lift her a little. She felt the calluses on his palm, rough against her softness, as he ran his hand harder over her buttocks.

"This is already nothing like that last time." He waited for her to look at him. "Nothing compares to how I feel with you, here and now."

Her arms went around his shoulders when he slowly pulled back so she sat astride his lap. Meg slid her legs around his hips, adjusting herself just enough that he barely had to move before he sank deep into her. She made soft sound as tense muscles finally relaxed but she didn't try to move away. There was no anger this time, only a strange sense of welcome as her body wrapped around his. Wet softness and heat greeted him, and the demon lowered her head against his shoulder. The soft sigh against his neck made Castiel smile, fingers curling around her hips to hold her close.

"I missed you," he murmured against her shoulder, letting her rock against him. Meg groaned a little, teeth grazing over his neck, and he shuddered again. His arms lifted her up so that she settled more fully on top of him and he felt her legs tightening around his waist. His hands moved up her back, stroking through her hair as she ground herself against him. He heard Meg almost whimper when they began to move closer together, her nails dragging gently over his shoulders.

Even though they should have been moving harder or faster, for all the passion he felt brewing inside of her, he could only hold her tighter and kiss her mouth whenever her head turned. Keeping her still suddenly felt good; she trembled with the want to move and he enjoyed the way her fingers clutched at him. Feeling her want to be with him was something he had missed.

It was what he needed.

He was trying for another kiss when her mouth pulled back just a little, just enough that he missed the pressure of her mouth on his.

"Meg," Castiel muttered, frustrated by her evading him.

Meg brushed his hair away from his forehead as he stared at her and he saw her eyes flicker to black as she watched him. Grace brushed against thorns over and over again, and she seemed to wait for him to say something. He barely could hide his relief when she leaned down to lick and nip at his neck, her arms still wound around his shoulders. He pushed up at her again as she pulled back, hearing the hiss she made as he sank deeper inside of her again. Moving her hair out of her face, he watched her smile a little before she lowered her head to kiss his mouth again.

"I love you," he said just before her lips touched his.

The kiss forgotten, Meg pulled back a little to study him. The words hung in the air as they had three years ago. Three years ago when he had first uttered them to her, at a time when he hadn't realized what it could mean to love a demon, and he watched the way her eyes went back to brown.

He looked away, knowing he had exposed himself again to more pain and rejection. "Nothing changed that."

Her hand took his chin and turned his head so he had to look at her. Meg stared into his eyes and held his gaze, for once losing the sarcastic twist to her lips. With a solemn expression, she stroked her hand over his face, fingers sliding over his cheek and down his neck to grazing the tiny scar on his throat. The scar that had been from the moment the Metatron had stolen his Grace and he felt her nail trace its tiny edges. Castiel was aware of his heart banging hard in his chest as she continued her slow study of his face and neck.

Eventually, she shook her head and leaned forward to kiss the corner of his mouth, hearing his breath come in fast. "I know, Clarence," she whispered.

Leaning down, she sank into his embrace, her forehead pushing against his a little. Relief made him turn her beneath him on the bed, still murmuring comforting words against her skin as Meg moved with him. Her arms went tight around his back as she pulled him down onto her and he felt her accepting him as her legs moved to wind around his hips before locking behind his thighs. Castiel shuddered as she turned her head a bit so that her mouth was no longer touching his.

He felt the moment become tense as something that had been coiling in his body began to need her more. Her hips rocked up at him and she pushed him up a little so she could get him to move into her harder. Reaching over her head, he gripped the bed's headboard so that it wouldn't slap against the wall as he followed her rhythm. Meg's eyes were shut, clearly enjoying herself as she stroked over his abdomen and chest while he moved against her. The slight way her face tightened and her hips lifted to meet his thrusts let him know how she wanted him to move and he moved to lay against her, tucking her leg up beneath his arm so he could move deeper into her.

It changed suddenly; something soft and nearly affectionate that was becoming rough and far more fierce as Meg's arms wrapped around his neck. Hearing her startled cry against his ear, he listened to the way her breath exhaled out against his ear, the way she said his name when he lifted his head to kiss her. Castiel closed his eyes to memorize how that felt again. How her mouth tasted just before she cried out his name again in muffled sounds.

Her nails raked through his hair and Meg rocked her hips up to him, her body tightening around him. Lowering his head to her shoulder, he thrust harder into her as he felt her legs stroke up and down his own, and he trapped her teasing hands in his to pin them overhead, trying to hold on.

He didn't want this to end. Not yet. It couldn't end yet….

Meg's gasping moans in his ear that she wanted him to come, that she wanted him, was what unwound him completely. Heat and desire exploded through him and he cried out against her neck again, giving only a few more thrusts as he came. He barely registered how bruising his grip on her hands became or how she gave another cry and gasp of pleasure as his jagged thrusts were able to tip her over the brink of orgasm with him again.

Heaving for breath and slick with sweat, Castiel slumped on top of Meg and his body almost throbbed in time with hers. Making low sounds, the demon moved body beneath his, rocking up and down as if to slowly calm him down. Turning his head, he found her mouth again and kissed her, still so deep inside of her that he felt the aftershocks starting through her body again when his tongue grazed hers. Her legs stayed wrapped around his, trapping him against her, and he let her hands go to slip his arms around her body. He hugged her close and continued to kiss her as his heartbeat struggled to slow.

When Castiel finally lifted his mouth away from hers, she was staring at him. Her fingers tracked over the indent of his spine, and he let his head fall forward to her shoulder. Meg said nothing, simply tucked her face against his neck and sighed.

He moved to hold her tighter. An irrational worry that she was going to leave him still tugged at him within and he had no intention of letting her go. His arms curved around her damp body and Castiel smelt the sweat, sulphur, and soap on her skin as he rested his head beside hers. Meg's hands stopped stroking his back and came to rest around his shoulders so that he soon lay with all of his weight on top of her body.

Castiel realized, much later, that Meg had held him with the same tight possessiveness he had held her with.