OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Chapter 9

OoooOOOOOOOO

Sephiroth's mind was drowning in green-tinged haze. Nothing felt quite real, but then again, it also felt too much. But also... it felt... off kilter, sideways. Hard to focus.

That is, until the razor sharp blade slid expertly between his opponent's ribs. Suddenly everything was in crisp detail and Sephiroth sucked in a horrified breath, instinctively pulling back on the blade, starting to tug it out... but wasn't that not what you are supposed to do? His indecision caused Masamune to sink several inches deeper as Cloud listed forward and began to fall.

Sephiroth felt his heart pounding so fast it was one long, painful squeeze, his head spinning and still mako-tinged, his emotions unable to settle on anything but certainly not anywhere positive.

Why had he done that?

Why. Had. He. Done. THAT?

Zack burst into the room, a Cure already glowing in his bangle. Right. Materia. Sephiroth had forgotten. But... did he have support Materia? His cat-slit eyes followed the desperate castings. Maybe it wouldn't matter. Sephiroth had stabbed Cloud through the heart. Surely that was a fatal wound?

The thought made Sephiroth's throat feel tight and painful, his stomach was not feeling well, either.

Genesis darted into the room, Angeal and several other SOLDIERs and a medic not far behind. Sephiroth could tell that they were saying things. Well, really it looked like they were shouting. But he just stared at them blankly.

Masamune still drew a terrible line precisely to Cloud's left ventricle.

Suddenly Sephiroth couldn't take it any more and he ripped his sword harshly backward. He flicked it to get rid of the blood. He shouldn't be able to touch something like that. The life blood of the only person who... who had...

Everyone else in the room froze. They were staring at him. Staring at the monster. Sephiroth's vision sharpened and the edges bled green. No. No!

He flung his weapon with all his might, watching it bury itself into the wall. Finally, finally to simulation desert flickered and died. Like Cloud was...

Sephiroth sprinted from the room.

OOOoooooooooooO

Cloud came to consciousness running through the usual checklist. Floating? No. Energy flowing through his body? No. Not Lifestream. Pain? Hel! Yes, yes, oh dear Planet... ok, that should have clued him in to the being alive thing. Pain centered where? Not the hangover from this morning (or... tomorrow? Or when...?) Pain mostly from the chest. Ok... familiar pain, when was the last time it was felt... "I feel like I got run through by Masamune..." Cloud whined.

"He's awake!" Comes a familiar voice.

Hmm... Zack is with him? But not in the Lifestream? Maybe he had died and this was a loop where he landed smack in the middle of the Wutai War or something. The thought makes him sad, though- he had really been enjoying this latest loop. It was oddly comforting to not care- especially since everything was falling so nicely into place. Now that he had talked to Jenova would she be conscious of the loops? Would Sephiroth? That would make them a lot harder to get through...

"Yo! Come comfort your boyfriend! He's in pain!" Zack bellowed.

… Boyfriend?

"Cloooooooud!"

Cloud cracked open one eye in time to see a red blur swoop down on him, landing on his belly. "Oomph!" Cloud grunted.

"Genesis, he is still wounded." Zack chuckled.

"I didn't die?" Cloud wondered out loud.

"Close thing!" Zack noted. "Good thing there are vital sign monitors in the holo-suites and emergency protocols in case someone gets seriously injured. Otherwise you definitely wouldn't have made it."

Cloud groans emphatically. "Just let me die..." It would be so much better. He almost certainly had a save point. Probably right before he woke up with the mother of all hangovers, but at least that would be better than this! It felt worse than being pinned like a flailing butterfly on the end of Masamune- the adrenaline kept that at bay. But now it just burned and throbbed and ached and... "Or kill me with an overdose of pain meds..." Since they clearly weren't working.

Genesis started squeezing his abdomen hard enough Cloud was sure he was going to be bruised later. "Death, that hath suck'd the honey of thy breath, Hath had no power yet upon thy beauty" (1)

"Genesis I swear to the Planet if you don't let me go I will show you how beautiful death can be." Cloud growled, then coughed. "Ugh..."

Genesis sniffed and sat upright, smiling in a watery sort of fashion.

"You realize that quote doesn't even make sense in context- I'm not dead yet. Somehow." Cloud muttered.

Genesis shrugged then started to grin. And cry a little. "When a good man is hurt, all who would be called good must suffer with him. (2)"

"Oh Hel..." Cloud threw an arm over his eyes. He hadn't died. He hadn't looped. He'd survived being skewed by Sephiroth. Well, it had happened before, but usually not without Hojo interfering. Speaking of... "Where is Sephiroth?" Cloud lowered his arm, looking around the room.

"He... he's the one that tried to kill you." Zack started hesitantly.

"He's not coming anywhere near you, we promise!" Genesis growled.

Cloud regarded the two of them in surprise. Didn't they know? Well, maybe not. Zack had said that it was later in the timelines when he usually discovered about the mako making Sephiroth homicidal. "It's ok, he was under the influence of some treatment. He wasn't in his right mind."

"Cloud... you didn't see him. When we came in he'd stabbed you twice, then ripped out Masamune and tried to skewer Zack by using it like a lance."

"He threw Masamune?" Cloud asked incredulously. He had never seen Sephiroth willingly give up his weapon.

"Yeah... it was pretty weird. Thank the gods he's not very good at it, though!" Zack chirped happily. "I almost had to get a new hairdo."

"First off, Sephiroth wouldn't throw Masamune to attack." Cloud can say this confidently because even when completely over the moon mad off his rocker, the man had not only kept a death grip on his sword, but had been able to summon it. Disarm Sephiroth? That was called killing him. "And second off, even if he would throw it as a bizarre ranged assault, he would definitely have killed you." Cloud continued. "He needs to be found before he does something..." Cloud frowned, he felt kind of lightheaded. "Something..." He wheezed then started to cough.

"Cloud! Your heart is barely put back together, you need to relax." Zack started to flutter around the blond as a nurse rushed in to frown at him and fiddle with the IV lines.

"Worship with the fulness of heart the weak memory of heaven.(3)" Genesis tried to push Cloud back onto the bed. Somewhat successfully, Cloud noted in annoyance.

"To the last, I will grapple with thee... For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee! (4)" Cloud growled. "I want my sword."

Genesis grinned at him and opened his mouth.

"Sir! Stop antagonizing him." Zack interrupted before his commander could speak. "Cloud, let's not be hasty..."

"Zack. Sword." Cloud narrowed his eyes at him. "Unless you want me stressed out?"

"It's right here, Cloud." Zack handed it to him nervously.

"Thank you, Zack." Cloud smiled. Then stabbed himself in the chest. Yes, that really hurt worse actually. By the Planet!

"Cloud!" Genesis screeched, turning so pale he almost seemed translucent.

Cloud ignored him and activated the blade as he pulled it out. He sighed with relief and dropped the weapon beside him.

"What in the seven hells did you just do!" Genesis looked actually a bit green. Cloud eyed him warily- was the man going to pass out? In the distance Zack bellowing for a nurse could be heard.

"The sword heals. I made a bigger wound than the one Sephiroth gave me and healed as I came out." Cloud shrugged. Hel if he was going to sit in bed forever waiting for it to heal naturally. "If you didn't want me to do something so drastic you should have done a Full Cure or let me die and done a Phoenix Down or something."

"It..." Genesis started to sway slightly.

"Oh, honestly." Cloud rolled his eyes.

"Genesis I..." Angeal stopped in the doorway, taking in the chaos of doctors and nurses ineffectively fluttering about not sure what to do or even if they were needed, Zack looking like someone had hit him in the back of the head harder than usual and Genesis like he'd seen a ghost. "What have you been doing in here?"

"Hi Angeal. Good to see you." Cloud replied as he started to tug at his lines. The doctors swatted him away but, after looking at the monitors, shrugged at each other and started to pull them out. "Ooo... that feels really weird.

"As it should young man this is a central line." One of the doctors chided him as she held down pressure on the small hole in his arm. "You SOLDIERs..." She shook her head.

Cloud grinned at her sheepishly.

"So... you are better?" Angeal hazarded.

"Yup." Cloud nodded. The other two were still slowly recovering from their shock. "Where's Sephiroth?"

"I lost him." Angeal admitted. "He is too fast for me."

Cloud frowned. "That's not good. I'll go track him down."

"You just healed yourself from your last fatal encounter with him." Zack protested.

"Sephiroth is not stable, Cloud, what if he..." Angeal started.

"If you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back at you. He who fights...(5)" Genesis started.

"Do NOT finish that." Cloud growled. "His is NOT... I can't believe you would even..." He was too angry to even finish that. Sephiroth would become a monster, but not yet, not today. That was unacceptable.

Genesis just blinked at him as his mouth snapped shut, not a drop of blood left in his veins from the look of it. The First was surely running on pure mako at this point as anyone else would have passed out by now. The shock of Cloud stabbing himself on top of the vehement defense left him momentarily mute.

Cloud sprung from the bed and deftly dodged nurses, doctors and SOLDIER Firsts who were trying to keep him in the room, check his vitals, or shove him back in bed. He quickly hacked the PHS he'd swiped from a nurse. Sephiroth hopefully hadn't had enough time to have gotten too messed up stewing on the issue yet. And hopefully the mako had a chance to get out of his system a bit. Though Zack had never said how long the homicidal tendencies lasted... damn.

He pulled out his borrowed PHS and flipped to the e-mail. "Hah! I thought so." The nurse had seemed like the type to be part of the Silver Elite. Checking recent messages he has a location.

OooooooooooOOOOOoOO

"Great." Angeal sighed. "Now I've lost both of them." Well, unlike his minion and Genesis, Angeal had faith that the two would sort things out. Or Cloud would get killed. Possibly Sephiroth, but Cloud had not shown himself to be that kind of aggressive. And Angeal was therefore not worried. It wasn't like he could do anything about it. He had a realistic idea of his level compared with the two, unlike a certain redhead. "Someone get Genesis some smelling salts." Angeal waved his hand vaguely in the direction of his fellow commander, then spun on his heel and left the hospital. With Sephiroth having a freak out, that meant there was going to be a lot of paperwork. So he might as well get started before he was called to pick up the pieces later.

OOooooooooOOoOoOOo

Cloud levered himself up and over the last ledge and collapsed dramatically on the flat surface. "How did you get up here, Hel..." He muttered, looking up at Sephiroth with a grin.

The other man, however, was frozen with an almost horrified look on his face. It would be, that is, if it wasn't mostly just blank and stiff.

"Hey, Sephiroth, what's wrong?" Cloud asked. Then winced because that was kind of a stupid question. But he hadn't expected the man to be this affected. "You know, though it is great for your fans with telephoto lenses, standing up on tall spires and being broody isn't good for your health." That joke also fell flat.

Cloud sighed and came closer to Sephiroth, stopping uncertainly when the other man started to look a bit ill and panicky.

Cloud tilted his head to the side and instead moved sideways and into a small alcove made by a power converter, the base of the very tip top of the antenna they were perched on and some cabling. "Why don't you step away from the ledge and we can have a chat?" Cloud patted the metal beside him, making it clank and clang. He smiled ruefully. Not the most inviting of surfaces.

But despite this, Sephiroth slowly inched closer and sat down beside Cloud.

"There! Now all of Midgard can't see us." Cloud scratched his chin thoughtfully. "At least, their telescopes." He grinned at Sephiroth and tried not to twitch when a gloved hand started towards his freshly healed chest... and the hospital gown with the large hole in it. Hmm. He probably should have changed. Now all that fans have pics of his naked ass hanging out as he climbed. "At least I have a nice ass..." Cloud mused.

"You are really uninterpretable sometimes." Sephiroth rasped.

Cloud blinked at him, wondering why it sounded like he'd been yelling. Or... crying?

Sephiroth held Cloud's gaze and finished extending his arm, until his gloved palm was pressed against Cloud's skin. His fingertips twitched. Finally Sephiroth looked away and down at his own hand contemplatively.

"What are you doing?" Cloud asked, curious.

Sephiroth removed his hand, tugged off his glove with his teeth and placed it back.

The warm skin on skin made Cloud suck in a breath and start to feel hot and tingly despite the wind and chill up this high. "Sephiroth?" Cloud asked, his voice coming out a bit breathless.

"I'm feeling your heartbeat." Sephiroth murmured in return.

"Oh." Cloud gasped, sucking in a breath as the long fingers moved slightly to better get inside the large tear, under his gown and on his skin. He started to feel a bit lightheaded. "Ok."

Sephiroth moved suddenly, his hand tearing the hole wider and moving his hand along Cloud's ribs to his side. He lowered his head and rested his ear against Cloud's chest, closing his eyes.

"Ok." Cloud repeated, licking his lips. He could feel his heart thundering and he wasn't sure what emotion exactly he was feeling.

"You are afraid." Sephiroth said sadly, unknowingly trying to answer Cloud's confusion.

"I don't think so." Cloud replied. At least, not only, though there were certain kinds of terror mixed in.

"Your heart is beating twice as fast as is normal in the average human. As someone much more fit, yours should be lower even than that." Sephiroth commented. And damn if his breath wasn't puffing against the skin. Noticeably, despite the wind, since he was just that close to Cloud. Cloud had felt the man's lips move against his upper abdomen and it was making his abs twitch.

"You don't usually touch me." Not like this... Cloud managed.

"You're alive." Sephiroth explained, as if that was adequate. And maybe it was, if he regretted his moment of insanity.

Cloud wondered if Sephiroth had had moments of clarity in his other lives. If he had regretted it then, too. If it had driven him more insane or off the deep end quicker. The thought chilled his libido enough that he could think of something besides all the points where Sephiroth's skin was in contact with his. Saddened, he wrapped one arm around Sephiroth's shoulders and used the other one to stroke the bangs out of Sephiroth's face.

Sephiroth sucked in a sharp breath and tensed, before leaning into Cloud and shuddering out a sigh.

"Hey, it's ok." Cloud carded his hands through the long silver hair speculatively. It was not as soft as it looked but was surprisingly sleek. He encountered no knots at all. Not really fair... "This is just a really super awkward hug." Cloud said, mostly to himself.

"Is it?" Sephiroth asked. And damn... if he kept doing that Cloud was going to get (more) ideas.

"Erm. Yes. Yes, this is a very awkward hug." For a lot of reasons.

"I thought that hugs were supposed to be more like this?" Sephiroth asked, as he snaked his other arm around Cloud's back and under his Odin-be-damned gown flap.

Cloud tried not to think about Sephiroth's hand just inches from his bare ass. He thought of all the fans and undoubtedly Hojo watching and sucked in a long breath. That helped. Sort of.

"Is this not correct?"

"Sure. Yes." Cloud babbled. "Very good. Not entirely usual technique but good adaptation considering how we're sitting."

Sephiroth hmmed. "I have always been good at adapting theory."

Cloud nodded. That was certainly true. Wait. "Theory?" Surely someone has hugged him before. But, well, who? "You... I mean, this isn't your first... er... hug?"

"I can see why Zack always is saying I should try it." Sephiroth allowed.

Something in Cloud's heart just... clenched and he shifted so he could gather Sephiroth closer. It was unbearable, the thought. He felt a bit ridiculous clinging to his arch nemesis on the tallest antenna in Midgar about to cry like a baby but... it also felt right. All... well, ok not all but most of his horniness fell away. Now was not the time for it. "I'm ok, Sephiroth."

"I deeply regret..."

Cloud interrupted him. "Hey, there's no need to apologize. I forgive you."

"I killed you." Sephiroth told his heart, sounding broken and shifting somehow closer.

Cloud swallowed and tried to remember how to breathe. "I know. And I forgive you." He had to, to retain even a shred of sanity in this crazy situation. How the man was now... even how he was without getting to know him... he wasn't the monster that tried to destroy the world. Not yet. Soon, probably, but judging someone based on actions they may take based on how things had played out before... Cloud had started off doing that and it had almost broken him. Friends didn't know you and could become enemies and betray you. Enemies similarly had no grudge and could try to be your ally. It... wasn't worth it to not forgive. It hurt too much.

Sephiroth swallowed. "I can't say I won't try again in the future."

"Sephiroth, you could try to destroy the Planet and I will forgive you." Cloud said wryly. "Try to stop you, yes, but I will also forgive."

Sephiroth made a skeptical noise.

"Soooo... ready to get off the ledge yet?" Cloud asked, starting to feel awkward again with the much taller man practically curled up in his lap.

"No."

"Ok." Cloud sighed and rested his chin on Sephiroth's head. He started to nod off- it had been a pretty tiring day. He had, after all, almost died.

"You are tired. You should probably get to your bed." Sephiroth woke Cloud up from his half-sleep, causing him to start.

"Oh, yeah, probably." Cloud yawned. He noted that if anything he was being gripped harder. "Erm. You need to let go for that."

"I'm finding that I am reluctant to do so." Sephiroth mused.

Cloud huffed a laugh. "How about you let me go for now. We can do this again, I mean, if you want."

Sephiroth let up enough to look Cloud in the eyes. His hands rucked up under the hospital gown and Cloud tried not to shiver. "Yes?"

"Absolutely." Cloud replied. And tried not to feel like he was taking advantage. Sephiroth clearly didn't mean it that way, but... Cloud could keep himself under control and just enjoy this. Right.

OoOoOoOOOooOOOOOOOO

A/N: This may be the only story I ever write with all these end note references. XD

(1) Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

(2) Euripides

(3) Bertolt Breccht "Great hymn of thanksgiving"

(4) Melville's Moby Dick (or Khan quoting it in Star Trek II haha)

(5) Nietzche. I put the quote out of order cause it fit better that way. Full quote "Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you."