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Chapter 10

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"Sir, please stay calm." The doctor tried to get Genesis to keep the oxygen mask over his face, but she wasn't having much luck.

"He's in a very complicated love triangle." Zack said with a false-solemn face. "You know how relationships can make people so emotional!" Since Angeal hadn't been worried, Zack wasn't worried. Watching Genesis basically mute and suffering from some kind of panic attack, though? This was prime blackmail material. And he'd already snapped off a couple of shots and sent them to Kunsel for archiving. Muahaha!

Genesis glared at him and opened his mouth to undoubtedly spout an insult in the form of an incomprehensible quote from a presumably important reference. However, Zack was spared by the buzzing of an incoming PHS text message. With one more glare for good measure Genesis checked his PHS. And growled.

"Your boyfriends breaking up with you?" Zack asked cheerfully, doing a couple victory squats.

Genesis got a sickly sweet look to his face which made Zack instantly wary.

Turning to the nearest nurse he asked the man, "Could you be a dear and fetch me a pair of scrubs? Size medium I think will be best." The man seemed about to refuse but Genesis turned on the charm that had temporarily abandoned him due to the shock. With a quick glance at the doctor, who nodded her acceptance, the nurse went off to fetch the clothing.

"Sir, though SOLDIERs are, of course, able to regulate their medical status to a certain point, I would like to keep you for a bit longer. You were a worrying shade of green and we want to make sure your mako levels aren't destabilizing. We already have the first test and your baseline, but will need one more to be sure." The doctor said to Genesis in a stern but resigned voice. "It really would be for the best."

"Oh, is that so, Doctor?" Genesis capitulated immediately. "Of course, whatever you want. Since it is so medically important."

Now Zack was even more suspicious and starting to think he should have run away with Angeal when he had the chance. The doctor similarly had a skeptical glare on her face. The potential for being sucked into paperwork with his mentor was why he hadn't... but the sly looks Genesis sent Zack as he replied to the doctor made a shiver run up Zack's spine.

The nurse brought the scrubs and Genesis immediately pressed them against Zack's chest and glared at him until Zack gulped and accepted them.

"Now, my dear subordinate, this quest I send you on seems entirely appropriate for one such as yourself."

Zack groaned. "Who needs the pants and where are they?" He was tired of the 'puppy- fetch!' joke. No one even had to full out say it anymore, it was just understood. It was a travesty! He was a SOLDIER, dammit...

"Top of the north communication antenna." Genesis idly inspected his nails.

"WHAT!?"

"Don't bark, so, puppy!" Genesis pouted.

"That... that's the tallest point in Midgar!" Zack had a sudden, terrifying realization. "You're sending me to where two crazy assholes are potentially trying to kill each other?!"

Genesis frowned. "Respect your superiors, SOLDIER."

"Yes, sir, sorry, sir..." Zack replied automatically. But... really? Even his mentor and Genesis couldn't scratch one of the two men and he was supposed to go up there alone?

"Relax, Lieutenant. I doubt anyone is trying to kill anyone. Why would Sephiroth request pants?" Genesis asked rhetorically and shrugged. "I would go myself, but you heard the doctor's orders." He grinned maliciously.

Zack pouted, but he knew this was it. This was the end. Killed delivering a pair of pants to the top of a gods-be-damned antenna. "Yes, sir."

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Zack complained the entire way up the metal scaffolding. Not just because the thing was a bitch and a half to get up with rusted sections that tried to fall away when you grabbed them, sections slick with bird droppings, and handholds you had to make enhanced leaps to get to; but because he wanted to be very sure that anyone up at the top of this thing knew he was coming. Whether that be his General, the blond menace, both or neither, he didn't want to get skewered this far from medical attention.

"Doctor's orders my ass! That jerk didn't want to climb this giant monstrosity..." Zack grumbled as he finally made it to the last platform. He pulled himself up with a groan and looked around. And promptly lost all his cool points at the squueee noise that came out of his mouth. Before he had even consciously processed the scene his PHS was out, several pictures snapped, and sent on to his partner-in-blackmail.

"Are you capable of even a modicum of silence?"Sephiroth's eyes glittered at Zack menacingly. Well, as menacingly as they could. Considering the tall man was cradling a passed-out Cloud in his lap, the two of them wrapped around each other like tired puppies, it wasn't really up to usual Sephiroth standards.

"Oh. My. Gods! You two are so damn cute!" Zack couldn't tear his eyes away from the sight. He needed Kunsel to print out a picture so he could have it on display. Right next to the pic of Angeal holding Genesis up about to throw him like a spear that one time his mentor had forgotten his headphones and the redhead had spouted one-too-many lines. "So..." Zack crouched down and smiled. "Hugs, huh? What do you say to me?"

Sephiroth sighed. "You were correct, Zachary- hugs are pleasant."

Zack crowed and did a little happy dance. "The climb was worth it. I am going to rub it in Genesis' face that he missed something so adorable. Hah!"

"Zack?" A sleepy voice called. Zack looked down just in time to catch a sleepy yawn. The click of the PHS camera going off again roused Cloud to full awareness. "What the Hel, Zack?" Cloud grumbled. "What? Why are we still up here?" Cloud asked, then shivered slightly and burrowed closer to Sephiroth.

"I should seriously just be taking a video of this." Zack mused.

"Zachary." Sephiroth eyed his SOLDIER firmly.

"Oh, right." Zack pulled out the scrubs and tossed them to Cloud. "Here you go. Pants that will only show a discrete amount of ass-crack, instead of the full Monty."

Cloud let out a wide, genuine smile, much to Zack's confusion. The SOLDIER hadn't thought that Cloud had such positive feelings towards him. But that was almost how you would smile at a... friend. Even, perhaps, a brother.

"Thanks, Zack." Cloud proceeded to wiggle into the bottoms without bothering to stand up. Which was probably due to the fact it was the only cover from flashing all of Midgar... but the expression on Sephiroth's face was simply divine. Zack didn't know how to even begin characterizing it, so with another snap, he saved it for posterity.

Cloud looked at him curiously. "I will be needing copies of all those pictures." He said, tying the straps to his pants.

"Ehehe... copies of what pictures?" Zack started to sweat a bit. He typed out a quick message to Kunsel to lay low and avoid chocobos.

"Hmm." Cloud stood finally off of Sephiroth's lap, which resulted in another extremely interesting if repressed expression from Sephiroth (Zack had seen more facial twitches from the man in the past ten minutes than in their entire relationship thus far- he had been almost about to give up that Sephiroth even had any).

With an innocent expression, Zack snapped another photo with Cloud looking directly at him. "I'm not taking pictures." He lied blatantly. "I'm archiving."

Cloud's eyes practically twinkled in humor. "Then, as a historian myself, I would love to help you... archive." He winked.

"Aw, man! Don't pull me into the triangle! That would make it a square or something and that's just not ok." Zack whined.

Cloud tilted his head back and laughed.

Sephiroth stood, looking annoyed now- something that was not uncommon when around Zack so he didn't feel the need to take a picture. That was, until Sephiroth started to untie the top of the hospital gown and Cloud's face kind of froze-fell and it looked like he completely stopped breathing.

"This will be more comfortable if you put the scrub top on then wear it with the open part in front." Sephiroth suggested.

Cloud made a squeaking sort of noise that sounded vaguely like 'ok'.

Zack raised his PHS again but now that Sephiroth was standing his gaze had significantly more power. Zack's arm lowered in unconscious submission. Right after the practiced click-swoop of a picture taken and sent away. Zack put on his innocent puppy face in instinctive self preservation as something sharp, focused and full of intent entered Sephiroth's glare.

Cloud patted Sephiroth absently as he finished settling the top and swinging the gown around. Sephiroth's glare fell away from the sweating Zack and onto Cloud. Zack wasn't sure why, exactly. Fully dressed Cloud looked like an escaped mental patient, but it was probably a step up from being half naked. Probably.

Cloud peered over the edge of the service platform. "Hmm. I'm kind of tired, still, even with that nap. I'm not sure I can stick the landing." Cloud mused in that kind of voice that probably meant he hadn't meant to say that out loud.

"I have told you before not to jump from heights." Sephiroth scolded. No, really- he had inflection and everything! Sort of like 'Zachary, what have I told you about signing your paperwork with stick figures?' but with more 'oomph'.

"Eh..." Cloud was surveying his options. Because apparently they weren't just going to climb back down. "How about that roof over there? If you give me a boost I think I can get to it... then you jump off of that brace there, and I'll meet you over by that rebar." Zack followed Cloud's pointing hand and felt his mouth drop open. That must be... hundreds of meters! Down! Not to mention how far it was out.

Sephiroth, fortunately, seemed equally as unimpressed with the plan as Zack was. "Or we could just hop down the platforms."

"What platforms?" Cloud protested.

Sephiroth nodded to the other side of the antenna. Zack peeked over the edge with Cloud and felt a little bit of vertigo. This side was the edge of the plate. It just went down, down, down... until the desert below.

"Argh! You got to be kidding me!" Cloud looked annoyed. "How do you get to them from the Plate, though?"

Them? Zack wondered.

But there was a silver blur in front of him and suddenly he could see his CO floating off into empty space. Zack felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest and dumped in a bucket of cold water. Suddenly he could empathize with Genesis.

But Sephiroth didn't continue falling and instead changed trajectory several times in quick succession in seemingly open air. Looking closer now Zack could see the little protrusions of the support struts. If those were 'platforms' he was a Nibel wolf!

Sephiroth looked up with a raised eyebrow then changed course more radically and disappeared around the corner. Zack darted to the other edge of the antenna and saw the man calmly perched on a post maybe a hand's breadth wide. Once Cloud was also looking Sephiroth continued his graceful jumps until he was on top of one a train station- an easy jump down even for Zack.

"That man is insane." Zack said in awe.

"Hmm- well, he does have more floating power than the average enhanced." Cloud agreed. Maybe. Was that odd ball statement agreeing or a counter argument?

Zack turned around to ask but nearly had another heart attack as he saw the tail ends of Cloud's hospital gown/cape disappearing over the edge. He rushed to the side but Cloud had no more trouble hopping down than Sephiroth had. The two of them met up on the train station roof and looked up at Zack.

Zack just stared at them until he felt his PHS buzz. He pulled it out and read 'r u coming?' He just looked at the two of them incredulously, shaking his head. They might be able to make that but he didn't want to end up a Zack pancake, thank you. If there had been some stuff to slow his fall- many impacts and a therefore slower descent- maybe. Maybe he could survive it. But freefalling? The height looked like enough time to hit terminal velocity and that was a harder hit than a Midgar zolom. It would at the very least knock him out and injure him severely. And then in the desert, who would find him?

With another shiver at the crazed acrobatics of the two, Zack turned back to the side he'd come up and started the slower, safer way down. Which wasn't to say he didn't jump to another building a little over half way- he did of course. But he'd made that height of jump many times before.

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Angeal looked up from his paperwork as his sweaty and confused looking subordinate walked into his office on autopilot and sat in the chair across from his desk. Raising an eyebrow Angeal slid some reports on monster stats over to Zack. His second eyebrow joined his first when Zack actually started to tally numbers, average various stats, and begin writing up geographic-based strength sheets. Not that it wasn't something that Zack had done many, many times and could, apparently do without really being mentally present. But usually his hyperactive protegee couldn't sit still long enough to do so without whining about it being boring. Something big must be on his mind. Or something had happened with the Sephiroth/Cloud situation. Hopefully no one had died. He thought someone would have let him know if that happened.

The outburst, when it came, startled Angeal so much he snapped his pen in half.

"I mean, Cloud's obviously smitten, what the hell!?" Zack threw up his hands, growled, then grabbed his head and hunched over in the chair.

Angeal grabbed tissues and started to frantically blot up ink before it completely ruined the work of the past hour. Thankfully it didn't look too bad, and Shinra was used to getting reports from SOLDIERs with ink splattered all over them. Not usually from their Firsts, but everyone could forget their strength. Or get startled. "Zack, what is your point?"

"I was kidding about the love triangle... but they are so cute!" Zack looked at his mentor pleadingly. "How can I do anything but love the guy when he's so adorable like that?"

Angeal blinked. "I thought you said that it was Genesis, Cloud and Sephiroth?" He was confused. "Now you're in love with them to?"

"What?" Zack blinked. "No! Nonononono!" Zack shook his head to emphasize the denial. "No, like, love him like a teddy bear. I want to just... smoosh the two of them." Zack starting making frankly disturbing pinching motions with his hands.

"Zack... I need some context."

"Oh, right. Well!" Zack, of all things, pulled out his PHS. He tapped away at it, leaving Angeal bemused. Was he going to call someone? Zack thrust the PHS into Angeal's hands. "There, there... how can you not want to just squish them?"

Angeal looked down at the screen. On it was a picture of Cloud curled up on Sephiroth's lap, asleep, while the General gave his patented death glare at the camera. "Oh." Angeal wasn't sure what to say about this... or how it had survived being deleted. Sephiroth didn't seem to care about pictures of himself, up to and including that one of him naked that the Turks had had to 'take care of'. Sephiroth had just stared at them blankly when they went in to tell him about the leak. It wasn't until Genesis had pointed out that it was causing havoc in the ranks that the man had seemed to get some kind of grasp on why it was an issue.

Angeal clicked to see more pictures and saw Cloud waking up, then Sephiroth undressing him... "Zack!" Angeal barked. "What have I said about Sephiroth and his lack of understanding normal social cues? You can't just take a picture of something like this!"

"What?" Zack pouted. "He was wearing pants."

Angeal started to rub his temples with the hand not holding the phone.

"But look at Cloud's face." Zack insisted. "He's twitterpated."

"I have no idea what that means, Zack, but I was aware that he was attracted to Sephiroth." Zack made a betrayed noise, but Angeal raised his hand for silence. "As long as he's not taking advantage, I don't care. You know how Sephiroth is socially. But Cloud's been very... restrained."

Zack snorted.

Angeal closed the PHS and handed it back to Zack.

"What do you mean, you knew, though?" Zack mumbled, reaching for his PHS.

Angeal held it out of his reach and raised smiled. "Zack, the two of them are probably the most awkward set of semi-asexual confused and awkward lovebirds to grace the face of the Planet. They are almost always like that. Further... I think it was the first thing Cloud ever said to me- asking if I was attracted to Sephiroth. I think he used the term 'Sephiroth-o-sexual'."

Zack's mouth fell open. "No!"

"Now stop gossiping like a teenager, delete these photos, and leave your commanding officer's private life alone." Angeal commanded. "Until and unless you think that he is being manipulated, pressured, or otherwise hurt by their... weird almost relationship. Thing."

"Erm." Zack snatched back his PHS. "Cloud's like... only attracted to Sephiroth? Is that what that means?"

"I don't know, Zack. He's insane."

Zack nodded with a shrug. Clearly true.

"Now help me with paperwork or get out."

"Yes, sir!" Zack jumped from his chair and was out the door before Angeal could retract the second option.

Or realize that Zack hadn't promised to destroy those photos.

"Dammit."

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"Hey, there, Kunsel."

Kunsel felt a deep feeling of dread shoot down his spine. He turned around slowly. Cloud was leaning towards him with a very... intense expression on his face. Not helped by the scrubs that were too long in the leg, too tight on the shoulders, barely held up by the drawstring and covered by a hospital gown worn like a cape. "Erm..."

The guy was going to gut him. Well, it had been a good life. All the data back ups would go to his various approved persons to blackmail for money for his mother, keeping Shinra out of his family's business, or destroyed (as appropriate). It was really too bad because they were such cute pictures. Zack wanting it framed with cartoon bunnies as a matte maybe was a bit far, but the man really didn't have any taste at all so it wasn't a shock...

"Hey, you there?" Cloud tapped on his helmet, bringing Kunsel out of his life flashing before his eyes.

"Erm. Yes. Hello, sir."

"Great. I'm going to need copies of all those photos." Cloud rubbed his hands together. "In triplicate. High rez." He squinted his eyes in thought. "And I'm going to need you to go through everything the Silver Elite is putting out. I'm ok with my ass being caught... just so long as they don't have a flash of the goods, if you know what I mean. And we need to protect Sephiroth, obviously." He peered into Kunsel's helmet and the SOLDIER could swear the man could see through the tinted glass. "If I so much as hear a rumor that these pictures have got out to those sickos, I will find you, understand?"

"Yes, sir!" Kunsel replied quickly, holding his hands up placatingly.

"Good." Cloud nodded. "Last thing we need is Hojo with evidence Sephiroth has a soul, no?" And now he was cheerful again. "You know where to find me. I want those pictures. But guard them like a Bahamut summons materia!" Cloud clapped him on the back. He must have been excited or thought that Kunsel was stronger than he was, though, as the SOLDIER staggered under the hit. "Oops. And maybe better than the materia- I know how that got stored. Ok, yeah, secure-ish, but leaving the numbers lying around was just sloppy."

Kunsel nodded in agreement. Though what he was agreeing to he had no idea. The man probably needed to be in the mental hospital it looked like he had escaped from. Or needed coaching on how to keep thoughts as thoughts and not run-on rambles.

"Good man! Find me later for some food. I know all the good places."

And with that non-sequitur, he was gone.

Kunsel slumped with relief into the nearest chair. He was going to kill Zack for dragging him into this!