I own nothing. Mentions of child abuse and small amounts of some sexy time. Review and enjoy! Almost done for chapter left after this. SERIOUSLY PEOPLE REVIEW!

"Mr. Malfoy," Professor Binns said when I walked in, "Ready for class?"

"Y-Yes, S-Sir," I said taking a seat near the front of the class.

Taking everything that I needed out I started to go over what happened last night and this morning. Between Neville, George, and my school work I doubted I'd get much time to think.

When George asked about my running every night I had felt the need to lie. This was the first year that I done this, but at least running would give me a chance to think over everything.

I had wanted to have sex with Neville for awhile now, but after last night I wasn't so sure. It wasn't that I didn't love Neville, I loved him so much, I just didn't know…I didn't know what I wanted anymore.

Before I could get very lost in my thoughts a few more students walked into the classroom. I hadn't even really thought about who we would be sharing this class with until I saw the green and silver ties.

I started to shrink into myself when I felt a hand on my back. Turning my head to the left I saw Hermione, Harry, and Ron taking their seats. I couldn't help but feel happy that I wasn't alone anymore.

That happiness was soon replaced by nervousness when Neville took the seat on my opposite side. I had thought he'd look over at me or give some acknowledgement to me, but he just got out his school supplies.

I wanted to be able to tell Neville what was in my heart, but I still had no idea what I was feeling yet. I just wish I didn't feel like being around him was going to make it too difficult to think.

As class started I felt myself get completely drawn into the lecture. History of Magic wasn't my favorite subject. Most of the time I barely was able to keep awake during it, but I was like Hermione in this way.

Truthfully I loved school. I had loved it since I had first come here. Just the idea that I could learn all these things and one day show them to others made me smile. I loved it so much.

The further we got into the class the more I began to ignore what was going on and who was around me. I was able to completely lose myself into the lecture and I felt some peace at that moment.

My first class was two hours long and by the end of it I had an essay that I had one week to do. It wasn't a really long essay, but it was going to take me the whole hour I had before my next class.

When we were finally dismissed I rushed to my dorm room. I wanted to make sure that the only times I had to do some homework was when I had them scheduled. I knew it wouldn't always work out that way, but I was going to try.

Sitting down at a desk in my dorm I quickly got to work. I had been working for almost twenty minutes when the door opened quietly. Turning around I saw that Hermione was standing there.

"Hello," Hermione said smiling.

"H-Hi," I said nodding my head, "I-Is every-everything ok-okay?"

"Yes. I was just hoping that we could do our homework together. It's much quieter then with Ron and Harry. They fell asleep in class again."

"O-Oh. O-Of co-course."

Hermione smiled once again before taking a seat at the coffee table and start to work on her essay as well. Part of me was expecting her to say something, but for the rest of the hour we just worked in silence.

By the time I finished I had only five minutes to get down to my Transfiguration class. Luckily that was pretty close to my dorm. I just had to see how far along Hermione was.

"What do you have next?" Hermione asked packing up her bag.

"Trans-Transfiguration," I said opening the door.

"So do I. Do you mind if we walk together?"

I gave Hermione a confused look before nodding my head. During the summer Hermione and I had become friends, but we had never really hung out together alone before now.

This would be the perfect thing for her and I to bond over though. Both of us liked school. Given I doubted she wanted to be a teacher like me, but she still like going to class and was good at taking notes.

When we got to our class I saw that we had it with Ravenclaw's. Almost instantly Luna was sitting on my right while Hermione took my left. Was this how it was going to be in every class?

For the past few years I had Crabbe, Goyle, or Parkinson, by me at all points in time. They were only around me so they could tell Father if I had done something wrong, but they were still always around me.

Now I had people surrounding me and they seemed to actually want to be around me. I wasn't going to be punished for something because I didn't hide it well enough. I didn't really know what to do with that.

George had pointed out awhile back that I no longer had to fear the punishments that I was so used to, but that didn't stop it from happening. Half the time I heard Father in my head, but I was getting better. I was. I used to hear him all the time.

Shaking my head to rid myself of the thoughts I turned my attention to Professor McGonagall. If I wanted to be a Transfiguration professor that I really needed to focus in her class.

It wasn't until my second year that I fell in love with this class. How could I not? It was all about changing one thing into another. I guess most of the time I hoped I'd come across a spell and magically be able to change myself into someone Father loved.

Luckily, George and Fred had helped me realize, for the most part, that I wasn't the one to blame. And I truly did believe them, for a few hours of the day. Still I couldn't help but think I could have done something.

"Draco," Luna said when Professor McGonagall dismissed us, "Where are you going?"

"Lib-Library," I said softly, "Home-Homework."

"Do you mind if I join you?"

Nodding my head I let her walk with me to the library after Hermione said something about trying to find Harry and Ron. Were they trading off watching over me or something?

Shaking my head I brushed the thought away and sat down at a random table. Luna sat across from me and started to get to work on her essay without a word. I could get used to being around the two of them when we worked.

For the whole hour before lunch started we sat there working in silence. As much as I loved the subject I found that it was also that one that I found hardest to keep up in. I always seemed to be one step behind everyone else.

"Draco," Luna said putting her things in her bag, "Are you ready for lunch?"

"J-Just go-going t-to g-grab a-an app-apple," I said shrugging.

"Oh. Why?"

"I-I have-haven't fin-finished."

"Would you like some help?"

I stared at Luna for a moment like she had gone insane. No one had ever offered to help me with homework before. If anyone was going to help me that it would be a Ravenclaw.

I nodded my head slightly causing Luna to smile happily. She said she'd be right back before leaving me in the library alone. For some reason that scared me more then it should have.

Looking around the library shakily I tried not to think about everything. being alone meant that the Slytherin's Father paid to hurt me were going to come back. I wasn't able to defend myself.

I really hadn't gotten any better since Fred and George had found me. Luna had been gone maybe five minutes already and I felt like I was about to have a panic attack. What was I doing?

All of this time I had been pushing everything away hoping that somehow they'd fix themselves if I just waited long enough. Things were getting worse though and I didn't want that.

"Here you are," Luna said placing an apple next to me.

"Th-Thanks," I said sighing.

"Are you alright, Draco?"

"N-No."

Luna gave me a sad smile before resting her hand on my shoulder. I hated that it felt like she was giving me sympathy, but it felt so good that someone was next to me that cared.

"I-I me-messed u-up did-didn't I-I?" I said sighing.

"If you mean with Neville," Luna said rubbing my back softly, "I don't think so. You need a little time to think, Draco. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm not sure you should be thinking alone though."

"W-What?"

Moving so I was facing the Ravenclaw I saw that she had a soft smile on her face. I had never heard her talk like this before and for some reason that was making me believe every word she was saying.

"Draco," Luna said calmly, "You're not alone in this anymore. You have a lot of people out there looking out for you. People that love you. Maybe you should talk to them about everything that is going on. I'm sure they can help. If you let them."

"Yeah," I said nodding, "Maybe."