I own nothing. Slash. Some kissiness. Some mentions of self-harm. REVIEW AND CHECK BACK ON THE 'EYES' CHAPTER FOR UPDATED COLORS!
"Here we are, Jazz," Charles said as we came to stop in front of a mansion, "Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters."
"Youngsters?" I asked amused.
"Yes. Rose."
I stared at Charles like he was insane before I remembered that my eyes turned rose colored when I was amused. Maybe I should make a list because it's even hard for me to keep track sometimes.
"Jealous?" I asked tightening my grip on my bag, "You just wish your eyes were this wicked."
"Are you saying you don't like my eyes?" Charles asked cocking an eyebrow.
"I never said that, Darling."
Charles stared at me in confusion as a laugh slipped from my lips. I had thought that he was a flirt, considering how many woman he flirted with on our trip here. Maybe it was that I was a man.
Truthfully, I flirted with anyone, though I was gay. I loved flirting with people though. The small blush that came to their cheeks, the smile on their lips, even the comments that came back if they weren't too surprised.
Part of me had been hoping that Charles was the type that would flirt back, but it seemed that I was wrong. Once again I found myself having a crush on a straight man that I was going to see everyday.
"Your eyes are fading to gold once more," Charles said softly, "Why are you sad?"
"I got lost in my thoughts," I said with a shake of my head, "Is there anyone else I need to meet or am I going directly to my room?"
"There are some students. Alex, Sean, and Hank. I am hoping to bring more children in, but I am trying to set everything up first."
Nodding my head I followed Charles as he walked into the mansion. My family hadn't been poor, but this was way out of our price range even when both Mom and Dad had high paying jobs.
The grand tour took almost half an hour and ended at my bedroom. Charles said that I was able to do anything with it as long as I was here. For some reason I felt like I never wanted to leave.
After putting my bag down we went down to what Charles called the Common Room. There were three people inside. Two of them were acting out a football game while the third read.
"Everyone," Charles said causing them to look at us, "This is our new teacher. Jazz Cross. He'll be teaching you psychology and sociology."
The three people stared at me in curiosity, anger, but I also felt some fear. It was mostly coming off of a boy that was covered in blue fur. The blonde boy was the one holding the anger though. The brown haired boy held the curiosity mostly.
"Hello," I said waving.
"Wow," the brown haired boy said staring at me, "Your eyes changed colors."
"They do that a lot. What color are they?"
"Like an amethyst color, but they're going back to that rose color."
"Amethyst is contentment while rose is amusement."
"Why do they do that?"
"I'm an empath. They change like a mood ring. It's part of my gift."
The boys stared at me for a moment before nodding. The curiosity grew as I spoke, but the fear and anger were still there. I really wasn't sure what I felt about already feeling attached to these boys.
"Jazz," Charles said calmly, "This is Hank McCoy, Alex Summers, and Sean Cassidy."
"So you're a mutant, like us," Alex said crossing his arms, "How do we know we can trust you?"
"You don't," I said with a shrug, "But you also don't know if you can't. You have to try. Just like I have to try to trust you."
Alex stared at me for a moment longer before nodding his head in consent. He was going to try and for some reason I felt proud at that. What was going on with me lately?
"Pearl," Charles said softly.
"Pride," I said smiling.
Charles smiled back at me before motioning for me to follow him once more. Waving at the children I calmly let him lead me back to what I had earlier learned was his office.
When the door closed behind us I couldn't help but look at Charles. He really was an attractive man. If we had been in a bar I would probably have my tongue in his mouth already.
Truthfully though I didn't know if he would be attracted to me at all. For some reason I felt like it would be wrong if I could feel his emotions when I asked him not to read my mind.
"You're sad again," Charles said staring up at me.
Looking away from Charles I let myself sigh. It was times like this I hated emotions. Not only that anyone could see them in my eyes, but that I wasn't sure about what I was feeling.
I had known this man for a few hours at the most. Yet I wanted nothing more then to spend the rest of my life with him. It made no sense, but they were my emotions. That much I was sure of.
"What does mint mean?" Charles asked curiously.
"Depressed," I muttered knowing my voice was barely loud enough for him to hear, "Is there anything else, Charles?"
"Would you like to talk about it?"
"No."
"I am here if you need to talk, Jazz."
"I know. May I leave?"
"Of course. I will see you in the morning?"
"Yes. Goodnight, Charles."
Before Charles could say anything else I made my way out of the room and down the hall way. As a teacher I was going to be living away from the students, but still close enough to reach them if need be.
I couldn't help but be happy about that. Most of my life I might have been in the middle of the city or around people, but I never liked having them too close to me. It didn't feel right.
When I got to my room and closed the door behind me and leaned against it. I knew there was a reason that I hated getting close to people. I hated going crazy when I started to like a person.
Why was it I could have perfect control over another's emotions, but as soon as I tried to even understand mine I felt like crying? It had been that way my entire life and I was beginning to hate it more everyday.
Shaking my head I slowly walked into the bathroom and stopped in front of the mirror. My eyes were now a deep emerald green. That was the color my eyes were most of the time. Too bad it meant suicidal.
Charles and the students could never know what that color meant though. I didn't know how they would react. Anyway, I'd rather deal with this on my own. It's what I deserved.
A hiss fell from my lips as I lifted my shirt up. I could feel the blood start to flow down my back again, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I had felt this pain for fifteen years. Luckily I could control when it happened though.
I shook my head when I realized where my thoughts were heading. Right now I needed to keep my emotions to myself. If I accidentally let my emotions loose and they hurt anyone I'd never forgive myself.
Turning the shower water on I striped off the last of my clothes and got in. The water was almost scolding, but I didn't reach for the cold water. This was one of the things that I had done since my gift came. Anything to get me to feel only one thing.
I let the water run over me until it turned cold before shutting it off. Wrapping a towel around my waist I slowly made my way back into my room and calmly climbed into bed.
For as long as I could remember I had slept without any clothes on, but now that I was living with other people maybe I should try. As my eyes slipped shut I decided that I would try tomorrow.
Normally I was very good at not having any dreams, but tonight was quite different. I could see Charles in the library staring out of the window. He had such a sadness about him.
"Charles," I said walking up behind him, "What is going on in that head of yours?"
Instead of saying anything Charles pushed his emotions towards me. A gasp almost fell from my lips when I felt the depression that was in the man. What was he so sad about?
Soon the emotions kept growing and I wanted him to never feel that again. Without thinking I allowed the emotions to fill me completely, drawing them away from him before pushing a calmness towards him.
I could feel my skin being ripped apart and I knew I should stop; that Charles could handle it, but I couldn't. No one should have to do with this emotions. If I could help I was going to.
"Jazz," Charles said surprised.
Gasping I felt myself roll out of bed and fall onto the floor. A loud groan let my bed and I went limp on the ground. I had never had a dream like that in my entire life before.
Slowly standing up I let out another groan. Half of it was from pain while the other half was from the blood that was now on the bed and floor. How was I supposed to one explain that, two clean it up?
A knock came to the door causing me to jump. It wasn't easy to sneak up on me, but I was so out of it from the dream and from sleepiness I couldn't say I was all that surprised. That didn't mean I was happy about it though.
"Who is it?" I said going to my bag and pulling some clothes out.
"It's Charles," he said calmly, "May I please come in?"
"Umm…Can we talk somewhere else?"
"Jazz?"
"Please, Charles?"
"No, Jazz, we need to talk. Now."
Sighing I tightened the towel that was lucky still around my waist and opened the door. Charles let out a shocked gasp causing my eyes to shut hoping that if they were closed that this was still part of the dream.
"What happened?" Charles said an edge to his voice.
"I might not have told you everything about my gift," I said softly.
Charles shot me a confused look but moved to wheel himself into my room. Another gasp fell from his lips as soon as he was inside. How was I supposed to explain this part of my gift to someone?
No one had seen this part of my gift before. I was so sure that people would think I was suicidal and lock me up. Alright, so part of me was suicidal, but no one needed to know that.
"Jazz," Charles said staring at me, "What does this have to do with your gift?"
"If I use my powers to push or pull emotions I get…Umm…Punished in a way. The emotions start to literally pull me apart."
Charles placed a hand on my stomach and pushed me until I was sitting on my bed. I sat still as he looked over the fresh cuts and the old scars, his hands running over them.
Ever since my gift had come in I had done everything to make sure no one was able to see me like this. Not just this side of my gift, but without clothes at all. Yes, that meant that I was still a virgin.
A twenty year old virgin. You'd be surprised by how many people my age actually haven't had sex yet. Not saying they didn't want to, but they were still waiting for the right person or waiting to get drunk enough. Whichever came first.
"Have you never tried to stop this?" Charles asked calmly.
"I did," I said with a shrug, "But I couldn't. I didn't have enough strength."
"I can help you."
"I know you can, but I don't want help with this."
"Jazz, if you do not try to learn to control this it will kill you. It's going to kill you one day. "
"Then I die."