Liara could not dispute Joker's claim. He's right, after all. I feel so lost every day, just going through the motions, constantly trying to get my bearings. It's not as if I have a clue what I'm doing. Staying on Earth… Goddess, what was I thinking? Everything about this place serves as a reminder of him.
It was then that the idea came to her. "When are you leaving for the drive core test?"
Joker shrugged. "Stuck in a holding pattern. Last I'd heard from Hackett, he was trying to talk some Alliance flight instructor into going." He shook his head. "They'd have to be crazy, though."
"So, minimum crew of two, and they'll let you go?" She asked.
Joker nodded an affirmative. "Generally for these kinds of missions, yeah. It's in the Alliance regs somewhere. Double redundancy and all that."
Liara closed her eyes. Do it.
"So, you don't have a specific co-pilot in mind?" She asked, trying not to sound overly interested.
"Nah. It's Two-Alpha. Waiting for someone as crazy as I am to volunteer. I get the feeling I might be stuck here for a while." Joker grinned. "Why, you wanna go?"
Liara found herself nodding. "Yes, I think I would."
Joker stopped grinning. "Wait… seriously?"
Liara nodded again. "Yes."
Joker stepped closer and looked at her, as if weighing her words. "You're not kidding." he breathed.
Liara set her mouth in a firm line of determination. "Guess I should go tell Admiral Hackett, so we can stop being… what was the word you used? Marooned?"
Joker said nothing, and sat back down at the table to his plate of food. Liara planted her hands on her hips. "What, you're not coming?"
Joker shook his head, swallowing a mouthful of cold eggs before answering. "No way. You could probably sell tickets to that dance, though. I'm fine here, thanks. Have fun!" He put on an exaggerated grin and waved for effect.
Liara rolled her eyes and headed for the door. I'm doing this. I'm really doing this. Joker's right. Goddess, why didn't I see it before? There's nothing here for me- just like there's nothing here for him. His place is among the stars. What about me? What about my place?
Liara walked out of the ruined building and into the courtyard, heading for the command building. She pulled the hood of her jacket up as the rainfall picked up. The broken cobblestone path was marred and pitted, and the footing was anything but friendly. She picked her way across the former battleground carefully, still lost in thought.
I don't belong anywhere; not anymore. The only place that felt right… was in his arms.
And he's gone.
She nodded politely to the two Alliance guards at the doorway into the command structure before entering, stopping briefly to shake off the rain. She walked through the partially-painted hallways, past officers and maintenance crews.
Getting off of this planet- even if only for a while- might be the best idea I've had in a long time. I see his face everywhere. I hear his words when someone else speaks. This place… it embodies everything Shepard was.
Talk about being a glutton for punishment.
Liara turned the corner and stopped short at the command center's door.
I need to do this.
Liara squared her shoulders and opened the door. She walked across the room to where the Admiral was standing, watching the Alliance data feeds, and announced her intention to fly the mission with Joker.
Hackett folded his arms across his chest, a look of concern on his face. "You want to do what?"
Liara nodded, as if to reaffirm what she'd said. "I'd like to volunteer for the drive core test as Joker's co-pilot, if the seat is still open."
Hackett sighed tiredly. "Doctor-"
"Please, Admiral. Joker and I are very much in the same place right now. Being here… it's too much."
Hackett seemed unconvinced. "Doctor T'soni, your work here has been invaluable. Our network-"
"Admiral." She interrupted. "I have given the Alliance everything. Your intelligence agents have access virtually every scrap of information I have. I've helped you rebuild, reorganize. Before that, I was aboard the Normandy for not one, but two campaigns- one against Saren and the Geth, and the other to stop the Reapers, which at this point I think we both know I feel is a victory won at too great a cost."
Hackett sighed again, leaning on his command console. "Liara, I know you're hurting right now. You have sacrificed for us all- perhaps more than anyone else. I'd be willing to give you any number of assignments- hell, I'd give you stripes and put you in a uniform if I had my way about it. Of all the things you could ask me for, please don't make it this."
Liara leaned over the console. "I have to do this." She closed her eyes. "Everything around here is a reminder of him. The uniforms. The jargon. The food. The equipment. The people." Liara leaned back, shaking her head. "I feel trapped here, Admiral. I keep telling myself that maybe I'll be alright if I can bury myself in the rebuilding effort, or this project, or that task- but I can't get past it. Not anymore." She locked her eyes with the Admiral's, putting weight into her gaze. "I thought staying here would be best. I was wrong. You have to let me do this."
Hackett regarded her carefully, his closed fist resting against his lip, as if considering Liara herself, and not her proposal. She watched as his face softened momentarily. It was subtle; the tightness around his eyes vanished for just a moment- but in that moment, Liara knew she had won.
Reluctantly, Hackett nodded. "Get some rest. I'll schedule the test flight, but the soonest we can get her off the ground will be 3 days from now."
Liara nodded graciously. "Thank you, Admiral Hackett." She turned to leave.
"One more thing, Doctor."
Liara hesitated, half-turning back.
"I used to tell Shepard this pretty frequently before he went on mission: be careful. I understand why Joker wants to do this- he's confident that if he pulls this off, I'll reinstate his flight status. You, on the other hand…" Hackett stopped, measuring his next words carefully. "Let's just say, I have unofficial reservations about your motivations for doing this. It'd be a hell of a loss for the Alliance, and for your people, if something happens out there. Don't make me regret it. You and Joker take care of each other- God knows there's no one else out there with you."
Liara left the command building in a rush. She returned to her quarters and began preparations for the journey immediately. Primarily, this involved a check of her messages on her omnitool.
The Shadow Broker's work is never done.
Following the war, Liara had set about the arduous task of restructuring her intelligence network. She mapped out the locations of each source she used regularly, and then chose an agent she could trust to handle day-to-day operations of a specific sector or region of space. This had essentially streamlined the process of going through her data feeds: instead of 400 or more messages, she would get a brief from each region's lead agent. She could then follow up with either the lead agent, or the specific source of the information if warranted. The process had worked out better than she had projected.
The first message Liara opened was a brief from Feron, her friend and lead agent in the Terminus systems. He noted an interesting shift in the mercenary groups' behavior toward one another since the end of the war: in-fighting had decreased dramatically, and the mercs appeared to be working together.
Glad the spirit of cooperation has survived beyond the war, Liara thought with a roll of her eyes. She made a note in her omnitool to track the size and strength of the merc bands more closely over the next six months, along with their finances.
Liara worked through the rest of the briefs, making necessary notations. Lastly, she sent out a blanket notification that for the next six days, she was to be undisturbed, unless the information was Priority One.
Task finished, Liara realized how late the hour had grown. She stood and craned her neck, working out the kinks. She unzipped Shepard's hoodie and hung it on the bedpost, sighing as she ran her hands over the soft black fabric one last time. She stripped off the rest of her clothes and crawled beneath the covers, staring at the ceiling and wishing for sleep that would not come.
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Liara adjusted her shoulder harness strap for the tenth time as she and Joker worked through the pre-flight checks. Her familiarity with Alliance vessels did not end with the Normandy systems, although she lacked Joker's seemingly intuitive knowledge. Watching his fingers fly across the holographic keypads, it would seem to a casual onlooker that Joker had flown this particular ship a hundred times. Liara took as many mental notes as she could, watching him work.
The Stargazer was the latest and greatest the Alliance had to offer. State of the art everything, from the interface controls to the limited stealth drive modeled off the Kodiak, no expense had been spared to assure the fleet's newest model would succeed.
The plan at this point was simple: After launch, the Stargazer would link up with the Sol relay, and set a course for Turian space. They would meet with a Turian escort once in the Trebia system, and return to Earth. Joker and Liara would keep a constant set of diagnostics running, and log as much data as they could about the new drive system, along with the overall vessel's system performance in open space flight and faster-than-light travel.
"Nav systems check." Joker lowered the diagnostic panel and brought up his flight control.
Liara verified their sensor and tactical systems again. "All set here."
"Great." Joker said. "Now we just need a few Elcor to tow us out to the runway, and a Krogan platoon to push…"
For the first time in months, Liara genuinely laughed. She and Joker had both been in high spirits. The days leading up to the flight had been a whirlwind, and now they were finally leaving Earth. For Joker, the prospect of being at the helm of something other than a Kodiak was making him giddy. For Liara, it was finally an escape.
After Shepard had died, she thought that working on Earth with the Alliance would be just the thing to help her transition. But now, she realized it had been an overwhelming experience. Everything about the Operations Base in London reminded her of Shepard. She'd lost count of the number of nights she'd either cried herself to sleep, or simply not slept at all.
"Alliance Control, this is Stargazer, requesting clearance for takeoff." Joker's hands practically trembled over the controls. Liara smiled.
Goddess, we're actually leaving. It seems like it's been weeks to get to this point. Now, let's just hope the drive core works.
A crackled transmission came in over the comm. "Stargazer, this is Alliance Control. You are cleared for launch. Good luck and Godspeed."
Needing no further urging, Joker fired the thrusters, and the Stargazer lifted into the sky. "She's no Normandy, but she'll do." He punched a few controls. "Prepare to break atmosphere." There was some chop, and then only the quiet hum of the ship's systems. Liara glanced out the viewport, taking in the view of the stars.
"It would be easy for a ship to get lost up there," she murmured.
Joker didn't glance away from the controls. "What's that?"
Liara shook her head, wiping away her tears. "Nothing."
Author's note: Thanks all for hanging in there with me :) I promise, this next chapter... well, let's just say things are going to get REALLY interesting ;)
Gotta give a big thank you to Owelpost for her eyes, ears, and red pen skills on this one.