Secrets Still – Reunited

Chapter Four – True Love

A/N - Please excuse the mistakes in the previous chapter and any in this chapter. I should have gone over both a final time before posting but it gets so hard after proofing and adding more stuff. I have made corrections for the previous chapter though. Boogled was meant to be boggled, Nienna - thanks! :D

-xox-

Jean silently hoped Ororo would stay away, let them live their lives, for though Ororo could become as if human she was nothing remotely human. There was nothing there for Jean to manipulate, no thoughts, nothing to read on the astral plane, just nothingness. It was as if Ororo simply did not exist. But Jean knew Ororo was very real. She was more than human. She was a force, not unlike the Phoenix. The thought scared her. If she was like the Phoenix she would come again.

But she did not come again. A year passed and another and another, in fact, so many years passed that eventually Jean and Logan saw she would not return. They remained man and wife and never mentioned Ororo. Jean thought, hoped, that Ororo had realized Logan had married the woman he had always loved and that she was finished with her husband. She wished she could be glad for Scott but she didn't want him to be happy if it meant he was with Ororo. Jealousy, anger, and helplessness burned within her whenever she thought of Ororo and Scott together. She tried to never think about them. But every day she did. Every day she suffered until she could will the torturous thoughts away.

Logan, unsure of what had happened, only knew that Ororo had faded into the elements and disappeared completely leaving not even the tiniest hint of scent behind. There was nothing he could do to bring her back and his desperation had failed to move Jean to help him. He'd never believed Jean's taunt that Ororo and Scott were together believing either it was another of Jean's lies or Ororo had been messing with his wife. He guessed it was the latter and every now and then he'd chuckle over the thought, that Jean was certain Scott and Ororo were together. He knew that would be bothering her every single day and somehow it made losing Ororo a little easier knowing that they shared this little secret. But it was still hard to bear. He'd never stopped loving Ororo but he committed himself to his family. He tried to be happy with Jean and his children – having what he'd always wanted – he tried with all his might.

Decades came and went. Jean and Logan's twins, a boy – James, and a girl, Rose – were in college now. James, who'd been a co-op with Matt Murdock's firm since one of his interests was law, was on a Rhodes scholarship and Rose was close to home at Empire Sate. Logan and Jean were still together. They'd never found happiness, too many ghosts between them. Things had never been the same after Ororo left but they had been able to make things work for their children.

The love that had bound them together in the beginning had been revealed for what it truly was – lust, and little respect. Any love had died with Ororo's death. Jean tried to tell herself sex wasn't Logan's sole way of showing his love but she desperately wished it were. In the past she'd always told herself sex was his way of showing his love since he would never tell her that he loved her. But then he'd finally stopped accommodating her whenever she'd ask him to make love to her. He'd stopped right before she'd insisted on trying in vitro so they could start a family.

Maybe the thought of having a family with her had been the final straw for him. She could admit now that she'd always held their first daughter as a type of hostage to make Logan comply to her wishes. But sex hadn't been negotiable. He'd called her bluff when she told him normal martial relations had to start again or she'd take their daughter and leave. He'd told her he'd kill her and take the child and bluntly asked why she thought someone who had murdered a team mate should raise the kid anyway. Jean had settled for their separate lives but, like then, she still missed the sex most of all. After the twins started grade school she finally told him she would look elsewhere and he had nonchalantly told her he could care less what she did. What he did and with whom she didn't know, didn't want to.

She felt old, looked old. She was thinking about botox injections but hesitated, not wanting to nip and tuck like a narcissist. She was supposed to be better than that and what would the kids think? But doing nothing left her feeling old and helpless. It wasn't that she didn't look good despite having gained fifteen extra pounds she couldn't shed no matter how many diets she'd gone on, and having to dye her hair – men no longer looked twice at her. That was depressing.

Logan was still in the cabin but didn't try to hide it from anyone after the twins left for college. Jean never knew where he was or what he was doing. The only good things in her life besides the children were knowing that she hadn't exactly killed her best friend and that Ororo, her competition, was gone forever. Or so she believed.

Hank was even now asking Ororo a series of methodical questions as he worked on some new discovery about her. Sometimes she visited him although never quite whole. He told her of Jean's sadness, of Logan's silence.

"But they are happy are they not?" she would always ask, wanting this with all her heart.

A shrug. Hank knew they were as happy as any married couple could hope to be with a ghost always between them though not as happy as he expected Jean and said ghost would have been. He knew she mourned Scott even now.

"Time is so slow."

Had he heard her right? Her voice was so quiet, almost part of the very air. It gave him chills to hear it when the timbre reached this air light pitch. Ororo fascinated him. She had made him promise not to tell anyone that she came to him and he had kept his word despite Logan's many attempts to get him to search for her. Logan's abject misery, his murmured accusations against his wife, it was too confusing, and frustrating for Hank. He didn't want to believe Logan. He didn't want to know the truth. The memory of the night he and Logan had dug up Ororo's coffin still made him shudder. He didn't know Jean had placed a permanent block on his mind when it came to that beautiful autumn day when Ororo died in seemingly peace. He only knew that Ororo had evolved and he longed to discover how and why.

Hank could admit that he'd become a little jealous and therefore more inclined to consider Logan's past rantings quite suspect. But Logan never bothered him any more. It had taken a good decade for him to stop asking Hank to look into Ororo's evolution and try to find her. Hank had been secretly glad when Logan stopped coming by the lab because Ororo would stop visiting him right before Logan's visits and a long time after. That utterly fascinated him too. How could she know when Logan was in one of those moods, about to come and ask him to look into Ororo's situation? How did she remove herself so completely with no trace of odor, no trail left for him or Logan to detect?

And then when he'd discovered she had some control over time he was sure that was when he'd fallen in love with her. He would never tell her. He himself knew falling in love with Ororo because of the evolution her mutation had caused was borderline bizarre if not downright insane. He often longed to be with her but not in the physical way lovers might but to touch her hand, feel the currents of water and snow surging through her, hear her airy laughter in his ear, and hug her close to see what it felt like to hold onto wisps of elements. And yet in her ethereal form she thoroughly satisfied his scientific dreams. Like now as he watched currents of water stream through snow and hail, a shape of a human but nothing else visible. He loved this, her, their little relationship, keeping her secret, something only they shared.

He had never married. He had mutated several more times, nothing, in his opinion, appealing to any woman. Ororo had laughed and scratched him behind the ears the way he loved when he'd first told her this and maybe it was that day Hank had truly come to love her. She had disputed his argument, kissed him gently on the cheek and after much scolding had returned to what she was most comfortable being – nothing and everything, one with the elements. But she had come back more frequently after that.

The first time she'd visited him was after he'd witnessed a particular nasty fight between Jean who was huge with child, and a furious, drunken Logan. He'd separated them, wondering why they couldn't be happy with twins on the way. Her second visit had come soon after the twins were born. When he'd asked her why she had decided to come back she'd told him longing had called her. Logan was consumed with guilt – she could feel it although she did not tell Hank this. And there was more, Logan missed her deeply. She couldn't tell Hank her guilt had brought her back as well. She had hoped to comfort Logan and perhaps the smile on his grim face when she had hugged him while he slept, her arms of wind and nothing solid, did help him for she did not find the need to return for many years later.

When she came back again it was because the longing had been replaced with joy. His children, she saw, were starting preschool. He was so proud of them and because he was so was she. It gave her joy to watch over them secretly. When little Jimmy fell from a tree at the age of six it was she who had caught him, a gust of wind that righted him. And when Jimmy had tried to explain what had happened Jean was sure his mutant powers had kicked in despite his age and Hank's assurances that they had not. Only Logan had a glimmer of an idea for Jimmy had smelled of sunflowers and the salty ocean as if a wind from far off had come to his aid. But he could never be sure and he didn't mention it to any one.

Always there for them Ororo aided them as best she could. Jean's tears did not call to her but Logan's turbulent emotions always would as did the twin's. Rose had no powers yet embraced in a warm wind she felt as if she could fly and did. She only told Jimmy who told her it was the same thing that had saved him. And so they came to know her somewhat in their mad escapades, taking more after their father than sensible Jean. And Ororo was finally able to forgive Jean for she saw Jean was trying to be a good wife and a good mother to Logan's beloved children. She hoped Jean in turn did not resent her still but she had no way of knowing without making her presence known.

"Who ya talkin' to, Hank?"

James, tall like Jean but built like Logan and almost the splitting image of his father but with rusty brown hair and green eyes, had entered the room almost soundlessly like his father had taught him.

Hank was very still for a moment and then he chuckled and said, "Just a whisper on the wind," as he looked up from his experiment to find Ororo gone.

Logan came in behind the young man but he hadn't taken two steps before he stopped. His son, so used to the comforting warm fragrant air that seemed to tend to him and his sister, simply stepped into the embrace and passed on to Hank with a youthful grin.

"You're getting old, Unc," he laughed.

"And so are you my strapping lad, so are you," Hank retorted, glancing briefly at Logan before going back to his work.

James, who liked to be called Jim now, sat down to watch. Unlike his father he had a scientific bent perhaps from spending so much time with Hank. Logan had intended to go work out and not follow his son into the lab but that scent had been too familiar when he'd stuck his head in just to say hi to Hank. Now he stood as if rooted to the spot, a thick knot caught in his throat. Had he tried to speak it would not have been possible. She was there! Ororo was there!

"Hey, what's up? You okay, pop?" Jim asked when he saw tears in his fathers eyes.

A nod only. To talk was impossible and if he could he knew he would cry. He, a grown man older than any living human on earth, ready to burst into tears like a child. Perhaps he was growing old finally.

"She was here," he said when Jim left to answer the front door. The school was empty now and seldom had students, mutants more accepted now and thus other schools popping up to compete with Xavier's.

"Hmm?" Hank murmured, lost once again in his experiment.

"Ororo. She was here wasn't she?" His voice was choked, tight, almost broken.

Hank looked up curiously to find Logan's dark eyes focused on him. Reluctantly he grunted affirmation.

"When? What did she want? Did she say – is she alright?"

"She's fine."

"Where is she now?"

A shrug of indifference earned him a pained look and Logan grabbed him hard by the shoulders.

"Where is she, Hank?"

"I couldn't possibly know, Logan. She comes and goes . . ."

"Comes and goes! You've seen her before today? When? Why didn't you tell me?"

"What was there to tell, Logan? She came but sporadically."

He balled his hands into fist, would have wrung them had he not fought for control.

"I need to see her."

"I'm sorry, I can't arrange . . ."

"Yes you can arrange it! You know where she is – you probably studied her, know everything about her! Tell her I need her," he finished, his voice floundering, helpless, haunted.

So this was the ghost between Logan and Jean! Hank had thought it was Scott. Two ghosts make a very crowded bed, Hank mused.

"I can't summon her, Logan but I think you can and your children."

"What're you talking about fur ball?"

"I've kept a log which might interest you."

It was all Logan could do not to unleash his claws and prod Hank to move quicker but shortly Hank retrieved a folder from his files and laid it out on his desk. But before Logan could make out more than a few words the papers went sailing through the air as if on a concentrated breeze that took them straight through an open window.

"Ro! What're you doing?" Logan groaned. His tone was so full of misery that Hank suddenly felt very guilty. But his loyalty was to Ororo, not Logan.

"I'm sorry, Logan. I had a lapse in judgment. And as far as you're concerned young lady I expect those papers back by the end of the day," Hank said.

For a minute Logan stood there looking at his friend as if he thought the blue, bouncing Beast had lost his mind and then he realized Hank was talking to Ororo. Like an old friend who often visits.

"What's going on?" Jim asked as he came back, his arms carrying three large pizza boxes. He looked from his uncle to his father as he handed each his own box.

Logan put the box aside and strode past his son. He left the room in a hurry hoping he could track Ororo and convince her to stay this time.

"What's wrong with pop?"

"I'm not sure. Just a ghost of a problem perhaps," Hank said with a small sigh.

Jim noticed that the familiar scent that he'd smelled earlier was gone. He knew it wasn't a ghost but a woman – some kind of benevolent mutant he suspected, one of the kids of years ago perhaps lost and forgotten through the many changes the school had gone through. He wished she were flesh and blood so he could thank her.

Ororo knew she would have to be more careful after her little slip. She'd sensed Jim's arrival and had faded into mist but she had never hidden that aspect of herself from the young man. She had missed Logan's approach for his emotions were subdued as if his mind had been on other things than love and grief and joy and things that could not be. His sudden appearance had caught her off guard startling her. There was no cure for the ache within her at the sight of the man she loved. She longed to stay, to take shape again, to reach out to him, to hold him. But Jean would hate her truly if she went to Logan and she no longer wanted to hurt Jean. She knew that had she resisted Logan there might never have been a rift in his relationship with Jean. She hoped for Jean's happiness just as she hoped for Logan's happiness. And so she put her heart's desire aside.

Much later that day the papers were neatly placed back within the file and Ororo forbade Hank to talk to Logan of her, insisting that he move her files to a more secure location.

"Foolish man, I never knew you kept files on me and yet why I did not I do not know, how unlike you not to do so," she said.

"Perhaps you trusted me too much," Hank replied with a meek grin.

"Logan must never know about us – that I visit. You must promise me that you will not give him any further information about me. Will you do this for me?"

"You have my word, Ororo."

Silence and nothing. She was gone or at least her physical form. Sometimes she was before him, her elemental form flowing with all the elements of the world, and yet she could appear in a flash as human and whole as he. But it was still a strenuous effort to transform into flesh and so she seldom remained in human form.

"May I ask why you wish me to remain silent?" Hank ventured, certain she had not left.

"Oh, Henry he is a man, I can say nothing more."

Hank was left with more questions than answers. But when Logan came to him again with a slew of questions and accusations Hank told him what Ororo had said, that he was not to give him any information. Logan looked genuinely hurt. Hank felt truly sorry. Emotional Logan was uncomfortable to be around. There was some mystery between Logan and Ororo that Hank could not understand and he was sure he did not want to.

-xox-

It was a beautiful autumn day. A day so much like the last day Ororo remembered being truly alive. She rode the breeze, was the breeze, as she watched the children of her friends of old playing. Baseball. She loved days like these, a type of reunion full of taunts and laughter and chiding and secret romances. Like hers and Logan's oh so long ago.

Jamie and Layla's children were full of humor and practical jokes. Toss in Guido's son and the place could turn quickly into mayhem. Kitty and Peter's children were mild mannered and goodhearted although their invisibility tricks could be harrowing to anyone not familiar with their mutant talent. James and Theresa had two sons, both who resembled their father with his dark Native American looks and who were as different as night as day but were devoted to their parents who had a marriage as solid as Kitty's and Peter's.

Perhaps the most surprising pairing were Monet's and Rahne's who each married one of Jamie's duplicates. When they all went out together as a group people assumed the Jamie's were triplets. There was Jamie of course with Layla who had matured into a beautiful know it all who tempered Jamie's many divergent personalities, and Jameson as Monet had dubbed her dupe, and Jay, Rahne's husband. Their children looked quite a lot alike although Monet's had golden tans and one of Rahne's girls had red hair like her mother. Rictor had married Tabitha but they had no children. But Kurt did with Wanda Maximoff, another surprise to all that knew him, a daughter, Talia Josephine whom they called TJ and she looked just like him. Those that weren't mingling around the terrace barbecue, or inside were on the ball field.

The smells wafting on the wind reminded Ororo of Remy long lost and all the others long dead. She thought of Jean whenever she thought of Remy for she had felt a bond with those two above all others save Logan. Jean was sitting quietly with her daughter. Rose was as sweet as her name unless her temper flared and then she could be as wild as her father. Everyone knew not to step on her toes and so no one did.

The ball soared, struck by one of James' burly sons and Ororo felt a sudden urge to stem its flight. It was boys against girls and she was hoping the girls would win. A fly buzzed over the table of food on the terrace and she sent it on its way even as she resisted the urge to interfere in the game. And then she saw him. She would not be there if it were not for him. He had not changed while all the others looked much older, many of them hoping to soon be grandparents. He was filled with longing as he watched the game. He stood ramrod straight, his usually wild hair neatly combed, his dark eyes as sharp as ever. Her heart stopped beating if heart she had. He knew.

She saw him look at her as if he could see her standing before him. But then he sighed and slowly walked over to Jean and Rose. He had been so sad of late. Ororo had stayed away as long as she could but she simply couldn't stand to be away any longer when he was so very sad. He needed her. But he had Jean. It would not be right to give him comfort now.

The game played on. She remembered laying on the grass as her life ebbed away. How many years ago she did not know for time stood still for her. To be one with the elements meant there was no time for her life was eternal. And yet observing the growth of Logan's children she knew it had been a very long time and yet not long enough. Jean would never let Logan go until she was dead and buried. Ororo was not hoping for that but still she waited. One day she knew she would reunite with Logan for she would never stop loving him.

"She's here," Logan said.

"Who, papa?" Rose asked.

"Ororo."

"Why do you have to fill her head with that nonsense?" Jean moaned.

"She's here," he simply repeated.

"The dead don't watch over us like angels, that would be creepy," Jean replied.

"It was a day just like this," Kurt said.

"Was she as beautiful as her pictures?" Rose asked.

"Beauty personified," Hank said and then, looking at Jean, taking her hand in his, he whispered, "She has forgiven you, Jeanie."

"Oh, Hank . . . !" Jean was suddenly overcome with emotion.

"Forgive her of what?" Rose asked.

"It's . . . it's nothing. No, that's not true at all. It's a long story dear. I did something . . . awful," Jean said, looking at her husband. "I'm so sorry. It's taken me all this time . . . I-I . . . oh, Logan she was the most beautiful woman I've ever known," Jean finished with tears in her eyes as she looked from Logan to Hank.

Logan saw they were real tears and he sensed her sincerity but he also sensed anger. Anger at him? Anger with herself, at what she'd done all those years ago? She reached out and covered Logan's hand with her's, holding both of her old teammates hands as she came to a decision. Logan almost pulled his hand away but she squeezed gently, her anger fading into sadness.

"I'm setting you free – go to her if there's a way," Jean told him, the first and last time she would speak to him telepathically since their rift after Ororo's murder.

Logan actually fought to keep from crying. He really was getting old he thought and laughed.

"What's so funny, papa?" Rose asked.

"I'm old."

"No you aren't, you're never age," she laughed and added, "I'll be old before you."

Always this was before them. While they all grew old and gray haired Logan was as he used to be, young and vibrant. None of them resented him but sometimes Jean envied him. If she could live forever could she find Scott? She had never been able to summon the Phoenix to her not even from sheer force of will. She often wondered when her time came to pass on would she then be able to find Scott, to be with him, and would the Phoenix entity welcome her old and frail body as it had welcomed her skin and bones failing body when she'd fought to save her beloved Scott and the others as they'd made their descent into Earth's atmosphere? And if so could she be reborn again, ever young? This was always on the edge of her mind as she grew older but she never spoke her thoughts to anyone for who could answer these questions any better than she?

Logan squeezed Jean's hand, thankful but still too taken aback, too full of hope and fear and joy and doubt too. He couldn't speak. Jean smiled in turn and let him go. He got up and walked down to the lake. Someone called to him, telling him to put his old bones to task and help the guys beat the girls, who were winning.

"He's too old, don't let those good looks fool you!" Kitty called out.

"Old! Who's got the gray hair, you or me Kitten?" Logan snorted in good humor while Lockheed hissed. His Kitty wasn't that gray!

They went on with their game leaving him to lie in the grass, looking up at the sky. As blue as her eyes, he thought. He never wondered why he could never forget Ororo. He knew. Love. True love. When love was true you never stopped loving someone even when that person died. Ororo was simply a part of him. He had thought they could repair their mistakes when she had come back to him but then she had fled, the only thing she could do with Jean pregnant again. He had hoped for so much then even knowing he couldn't leave Jean and their child – their children. At that time they hadn't known they would have twins. He didn't blame Ororo for leaving him any more. She, like him, was all about honor, something he'd almost forgotten for wanting her so badly. He thought they could have been happy. He hoped she would see that they could still be happy.

Had he been happy without her? His children made him happy. And he was glad they'd had both parents as they grew up. Jean had been a decent wife and had stopped reading his mind and hadn't mentioned Scott just as he'd stopped talking about Ororo and accusing Jean of murdering her and their little girl. Yes, he had been happy in a way. But that happiness couldn't compare to the ecstasy that swelled within him now because she was with him this very moment. He felt her. He always knew when she was near. Spirit or wraith, he wasn't sure what she was, but she held him and he felt the contentment he'd never had with anyone else – her warm tingling embrace, felt yet not felt, was his haven. And if any bothered to look towards where he lay they would have seen him holding hands with the most beautiful woman in heart and soul as she shifted into human form, this time to stay.

Hank caught Ororo's scent on the breeze and he searched the grounds, looking for some sign of her. He quickly spotted her by the lake with Logan and as he watched the pair he suddenly understood. Logan had Ororo wrapped in his arms and looked to be holding onto her as if he would never let her go. Like him Logan loved Ororo. Unlike him she returned Logan's love. Watching her in Logan's arms, solid flesh and blood with no trace of elements, hearing her gentle laughter, he saw what true love was. He was happy for her even happy for Logan but saddened for Jean who was huddled with her children talking quietly to them.

"Hank!" Kurt exclaimed and nudged his fellow blue mutant. "Is that . . . ?"

"Yes, Ororo."

"Ororo!" Kurt cried, leaping up but Hank quickly stopped him.

"Let them have a moment, Kurt."

"But it's Ororo, alive! I . . . Kitty! I must tell Kitty!"

"There will be plenty of time for a reunion, Kurt. Let her have a little quiet time with Logan. I have a feeling this is something they've both been waiting for for a long while. Give them a moment of peace."

"Ororo, alive and yet why am I surprised? I came back from the dead, Jean, Scott, Peter, Betsy . . ." Kurt chuckled as he got up and went to hug his wife, the list of those having returned from the dead too long to continue counting off.

At the lake insects buzzed and birds sung. The air was warm, the sky bright blue, the sun peeking in and out of voluptuous, white clouds as a soothing wind blew over the lovers. For Ororo and Logan it was as if time had stood still. Neither had aged, they were still very much in love, and exactly where they should have been over twenty years ago. They held each other in silence for a long time before Logan suddenly began to laugh.

"This amuses you my love?"

"Nope, just thinkin' of you an' Scooter hangin' out together all that time. How is Slim?"

Ororo laughed. "I was wrong to lie to her. It was a small vengeance but wrong none the less. I knew you would know the truth but she was so gullible. That is how I knew she didn't really love you. Are you a little disappointed in me?"

"Darlin', it made waiting for you easier in a way, gave me something ta laugh at, funny as all get out. You always were a good tactician, darlin'. I'm just glad you got a little payback."

"What happens now?"

"She's giving me a divorce an' don't you back out on me again, darlin'. I've stayed with her for the kids, they're grown, in college. I ain't stayin' with Jean any longer."

"I do not want to destroy your family."

"Nah, you can't, maybe I destroyed it, not there for the kids as much as I shoulda been but half the time I couldn't stand the sight of her, knowin' what she did to you."

"I've forgiven her and I hope you can forgive her too, Logan."

"I can if you stay with me, Ororo. We can get married as soon as the divorce goes through. Will you stay with me, Ro?"

"Always."

He grinned, held her tighter. "Always sounds pretty good to me, darlin'."

Jean watched as her husband kissed the woman she'd tried so hard to kill, the woman Logan loved enough to wait decades for, perhaps even longer. She envied him despite the momentary anger that surged within her. Couldn't he wait till she was gone before he slobbered all over Ororo? Jean looked away, hoped she could slip away without having to talk to the woman who was to take her place. She would leave today. She would try to find Scott! She would leave now, the children would be okay, but first she knew she had to tell them the truth. She owed Logan and Ororo that much. It was not a story she wanted to tell but she had been haunted by her actions for so long that she hoped telling the tale would further release her of her guilt and self loathing. Would her children hate her?

"I want you to know what I did a long time ago kids. I expect you may hate me but I was young and hurting and pregnant with you and . . . well I can make up a dozen excuses but the truth is that I killed Ororo."

"What?" Jim exclaimed.

"That's impossible!" Rose cried.

"That's crazy mom!"

"That's what everyone but your father thought. But I was angry and hurt and he was leaving me to be with her and I didn't want to raise a child without a husband, I was pregnant with your older sister. I wanted a normal family, he didn't love me – I was horrible. I've hated myself for so long now."

"So that's what uncle Hank meant when he said she forgives you?"

"Yes, Rosie."

"Well, how'd you do it? How'd you kill her? Like you killed those billions on that planet that time you were the dark Phoenix?" Jim inquired enthusiastically.

"James!" Jean sighed.

"She really is beautiful then," Rose murmured thoughtfully.

Jean replied, "Yes, yes she is." And after she hugged her son and kissed her daughter she told them she loved them but she couldn't stay there any more.

"Where will you go? Are you going to be on the run now?" Jim wanted to know.

"When will you come back mom?"

"You kids will be too busy with school to miss me and since your father and I are getting a divorce I want to see a few people about a man I used to know. "

"You and pop are splitting up?"

"He's still in love with her isn't he?" Rose asked.

"He's always loved her just as I've always loved my Scott. I understand that now and I want you both to try to understand for your father's sake. I hurt him badly when I did the unthinkable. I want him to be happy now. I want to give him that chance. Maybe it'll work out, maybe he'll find he was wrong and it won't work out. Maybe I'll find I'm wrong."

"But if she's dead . . ." Rose's words trailed off as a loud squeal of glee and then shouts and laughter filled the air.

"Hey what's going on?" Jim asked.

"Ororo!" Kitty screeched as she raced toward the lake.

Lockheed flew ahead of his mistress and landed on Ororo's shoulder, cooing happily, and was rewarded with a gentle pat. Kurt teleported and gave Ororo such a heart felt hug she had to cry out and make him stop. Peter and Hank soon joined them. But Kitty couldn't stop hugging Ororo so Peter wrapped his great big arms around his wife and sister of old and squeezed them both tightly while expressing his joy in his native language. Kurt was laughing and waving his family over. They were used to one or the other returning from the dead but Ororo had meant so much to many of them. She had truly been a beautiful person. Perhaps weak when it came to love but a true and good friend to the little group of X-Men that surrounded her.

"Oh my gosh! Mom, that's her!" Rose exclaimed.

Jean frowned, unable to still her jealousy.

"Well you can't go to prison now mom since she's not dead, besides that was so long ago the statute of limitations has probably run out anyway. I can check with Matt if you want but, well, she's alive!"

"Jimmy, can't you just listen to what mom has to say?"

"I'm just saying at least mom isn't going to prison, Rosie. I mean if you kill someone they lock you up."

"If that was true then almost all our family and friends would be in jail!"

"I'm just saying you can't just flat out kill someone like mom did and not be punished!"

"They couldn't keep her locked up, she's a telepath. She'd just make everyone . . ."

"Okay, kids that's enough. I do deserve to be punished. Getting a divorce is a type of punishment and the guilt I've carried, my self loathing, but where I'm going may end up as punishment. I don't expect to come back until I find what I'm looking for."

"Where're you going?"

"I'm going to pay a visit to Dr. Strange. I should have done this a lot sooner, saved Logan and myself from an unhappy marriage. I'm going to make a deal with the devil if I can."

"You mean you're not coming back at all?"

"She said she is after she finds what she's looking for, aren't you listening, Rosie?"

"She said she's going to make a deal with the devil, didn't you hear that? That doesn't sound too good, Jimmy!"

Jean sighed. "I mean to come back, I just don't know when. In the meantime I want you to accept Ororo being with your father."

"Is papa going to marry her?"

"He can't do that!" Jim exclaimed.

"I want him to. And I need you both to try and accept that. Please. This is how it should have been before you were even born."

"She might be nice but I don't want her to be my step mother!" Rose cried.

"I don't know about that either, mom. You leave and pop marries a woman who's just back from the dead, I mean that's not only weird but it's kinda creepy."

"They've all come back from the dead, what's creepy about that, Jimmy? But you're right it is weird. I hate this! Why did you have to go and kill her in the first place mom? What was wrong with you, mom? Papa wouldn't have left you when you were pregnant with us and you know he wouldn't have!"

"I did know that," Jean admitted. "I was jealous, hurt, angry. Your father had wanted me for so long, even when Scott and I were married. I was so used to him wanting me and then he didn't want me and he wanted her. It was too much. I lost it. It was a crime of passion but I was still wrong, so wrong you can't imagine the anguish it's caused me. But I did what I did only to find out she wasn't really dead, thankfully, and now . . ."

"Now you've ruined our family!"

"Oh, stop over reacting, Rosie. I mean when you think about it Pop and mom never hung out together except for dinner and school stuff. It isn't like anything's going to change really . . . I guess. Mom was a mass murderer before, just add another person to the list is all 'cause you did kill her, mom, she's been dead since before we were born!"

"What difference does that make, she's not dead now but our mother is leaving!"

"And so are we just like we have for the last two years."

"But . . ."

"Children!"

"Besides, let's face facts. We both know Ororo's not the bad guy here 'cause we've known her probably all our lives. She always took care of us and I liked her even when I didn't know who she really was," Jim said now, having caught Ororo's very familiar scent wafting in on a breeze. He had his father's healing abilities and heightened senses but to a lesser degree. His parents were thankful he had no claws.

"We've known her? How is that even possible?" Rose asked.

"Don't you remember flying that time when you leaped off the shed and all those other times you tried flying?"

"That . . . that was her?"

"Yup."

"Then all the times . . ."

"Yup."

"I always thought it was my guardian angel."

"I guess she was," Jean said, feeling baffled and a bit jealous, but also very grateful.

"Wow."

"Jean! Jean!" Kurt called. "Jean, look! Look! Ororo's alive! Jean!"

Jean cringed inwardly as she heard Logan burst out in loud laughter and saw him pull Ororo to him. "I have to go now," she said, flustered and angry as she looked away. "You two are going to be alright then?"

"I gotta say the whole marrying pop thing, I just don't know about that mom but if you don't mind I guess we shouldn't."

Jean had really hoped her children wouldn't be open to Ororo at first and yet when her daughter also assured her that she would be alright Jean felt a little lighter. Some of her guilt was slowly ebbing. Her anger was too. She knew Logan was just happy and she had, after all, given him permission to be with Ororo. She just needed to get away as quickly as she could. She couldn't face the others much less Ororo.

Haunted by hatred and guilt, she realized, was a hard, cruel way to live a life. But things would be better now that she'd told the truth. And eventually she'd be okay with her children accepting Logan's choice. Soon they'd have a new mother and she'd risk dying trying to find Scott. If Steven Strange couldn't help she'd seek out Kurt's father if she had to. She never considered, as she ran away, that hell was the place where she belonged and not Scott.

~Finis~