I own nothing. End of the story. I hoped you all liked it. This took a lot out of me. Enjoy!
"You know I'm right McGee," Gibbs said sighing.
And he was right. I hadn't thought like this for years and now I was. Now I was thinking thoughts that I stopped those stupid pills. I always hated taking those stupid medications.
I had to stop them though. My head kept pounding when I looked at the pills. I knew that they were changing me. Those pills were making me into something that I had never been.
Yet it was the person that I had come to like. I had come to know this person and it was who I had become. I never took the medication before I went to sleep so the dreams hadn't gone away.
Maybe Gibbs had a point. I never could remember much about my life before I started to hurt myself. The only thing I remembered was being picked on and my parents fighting.
The medication might actually bringing out the real me. I was so confused. I could tell that Gibbs wanted me to get back on the medication, but I just wasn't sure that was the best plan.
I needed to know what was going on. When I was on the medication the thoughts just seemed to fade away. It wasn't like I liked the thoughts, but I was so used to having them it was weird.
My whole life had been centered around those thoughts for months and then they left. Everything had changed completely when I started to medications. Even Sarah noticed the changed.
To me it seemed like my parents were walking on egg shells around me. It angered me that they thought I couldn't handle whatever was going on. I wasn't some child.
For awhile I didn't talk to my parents. I knew that they were just trying to protect me, but I didn't need to be protected. Gibbs had some of the answers. He could tell me what he knew.
"Gibbs," I said moving closer to him.
"Yes," Gibbs said calmly.
"These thoughts," I said slowly, "Why am I thinking them?"
"I don't know," he said shrugging, "All I know is that you're holding a gun, saying your going to kill yourself, and your off your medication. It's your mind. You need to find out why."
"I tried," I said standing up, "I tried to get them to stop already."
"What happened?" he asked standing up also.
"I tried to drown myself," I said softly.
"Tim," he said sadly, "What made you stop?"
"Tony," I said slowly, "He came over to my place and I took my medication to make sure I didn't say something."
"You don't want to hurt anyone," he said smiling, "That's a good thing."
"I don't want to hurt anyone else," I corrected him, "I want to hurt myself."
"But you haven't," he said touching my shoulder, "That matters the most."
"What am I supposed to do?" I asked tears falling from my eyes.
"Give me the gun," he said placing his hand out for it.
I stared at Gibbs hand and wondered what I was supposed to do. I know that he wanted me to give him the gun, but I wasn't sure yet. Gibbs was a good person and he said he cared about me.
How was I supposed to believe him though? It took three years for him to truly know who I was and now he was trying to get me to listen to him. I trusted Gibbs on missions, but why should I now?
He didn't seem to get mad that I was doing this, but I wasn't sure. I wasn't so sure that Gibbs could go through with this. My head was starting to pound as I stared into Gibbs eyes.
Gibbs seemed so worried. I had never seen that look in his eyes when he looked at me. Maybe he really did care about me. I just hoped I wasn't going to regret what I was about to do.
"My bag," I said sighing, "My medication is in my bag."
"Okay," Gibbs said picking up my bag and giving it to me.
I knew he wanted me to lower the gun, but I wasn't in the right mind to put it down. The pills fell from my bag and onto the ground. There were three pill bottles that fell.
Gibbs grabbed the bottles and handed them to me. I placed them on the car and opened them. The pills fell gracefully into my hands when I poured them. When I had the pills I dry swallowed them.
When the pills were down I looked over at Gibbs and grinned. Gibbs smiled back ever so slightly and reached for the gun. I shook my head and moved the gun away. He looked confused until I pointed the gun at him.
"Don't tell anyone," I said slowly.
"You need help McGee," Gibbs said calmly, "And if you're going to go off your medication then someone needs to watch you."
"I don't think so," I said smiling.
"What if we made a deal?" he said hopefully.
"What kind of deal?" I asked confused.
"One where I don't tell anyone and you stay with me," he said shrugging.
"You'd do that?" I asked dropping the gun slightly, "Why would you do that?"
"Because you're like my son Tim," he said crossing his arms, "And I don't want to bury you."
"Gibbs," I said dropping the gun and throwing my arms around his neck.
I felt Gibbs wrap his arms around my back and hugged me. I felt tears fall from my eyes as Gibbs comforted me. Gibbs was right. I didn't want him to have to bury me either.
Gibbs broke the hug and picked the gun up before grabbing my bag and leading me to his car. I felt so exhausted that I fell asleep as Gibbs drove us wherever he was taking us.
When I awoke I was in a bed. I climbed out and saw my medication and a glass of water. Shrugging I took the pills and went downstairs. Gibbs was setting food on the table when I walked in.
"I'm confused," I said calmly.
"You're staying here so I can look after you," Gibbs said sitting down, "Now come eat, we're done talking about this."
"Okay," I said smiling, "And thanks for everything Gibbs."