Elena's POV

I was ready to talk to him. I was ready to hear what he had to say, not because I had forgiven him, but because he deserved it. No matter how angry I felt, he had saved me. I owed him for that. There were plenty of days I had cried myself to sleep, from the physical and emotional despair I felt since learning the truth about the world I was raised in, but I was ready to move on.

My wounds had improved tremendously. It was a sign that I should be willing to heal the wounds on my heart, too. Damon had given up so much and I knew it. I knew what leaving the compound meant for its members. Whether Damon stayed here with me or not was an entirely different question, however. Somewhere deep in my heart, I wanted him to be with me. I was afraid of being alone in this unknown world, afraid of further torment.

He knocked lightly on my door. I shouted for him to come in and he did. His eyes briefly looked at me, but only for a fleeting second. The door then shut quietly behind him and he smiled slightly as if to show that he was doing okay. I smiled back.

"Hi Damon," I breathed.

"Hi." He said it in barely a whisper.

There was a long, awkward pause. His eyes concentrated on the floor, his hands dug deep in his pockets. I finally took up the courage to speak, unable to bear the silence any longer.

"I've been through a lot. You hurt me. You abused me. You made me feel horrible. But I'm ready to move on. It may not be today, but I will find the ability to forgive you," I told him.

He didn't say anything. I waited, but he simply stared at his shoes. Again, I opened my mouth to speak, pushing the words out.

"I'm sorry for what they made you do to me. I'm sorry that I ruined your life and took away everything you loved." My voice almost cracked at the apology.

I don't know where those words had come from. Maybe my subconscious knew that they were the truth. I was sorry. Yes, my life had been ruined, but so had his. I was selfish and ignorant if I believed otherwise.

"Thank you for doing that," He said, his eyes finally looking at me.

"Doing what?" I questioned in confusion.

"Thank you for ruining my life, Elena."

"W-what?" My eyes grew wide in surprise.

"You exposed the corruption that plagued the only life I knew. You showed me that I was wrong. I was wrong to believe that God could support the way they hurt others. I watched you fight me. How could that be wrong? How could your fight be any less meaningful than mine just because you were female? I-I never understood it."

He stepped closer. I felt my heart begin to race and my cheeks grow hot.

"I'm sorry, Elena. I know you still need time, but I am truly sorry. Just please know that I will never, ever hurt you again. Just say the words and I will leave," He almost whispered.

I was in complete shock. I didn't even know what to say to him. Thank you? God bless you? Hallelujah?

"Actually, could you help me downstairs? This room is driving me to insanity." I even smiled for real.

He nodded. His arms scooped me up ever-so-gently. My body ached from the action, but by then, I had barely noticed it. I then caught his scent. He smelled like soap and coffee, his toned chest like a wall of muscle. I was too shy to look up at him, but I could feel his eyes on me as he walked down the steps.

I clung tighter to him when we reached the bottom. I could almost hear his heart beating from how firmly my face was planted against his chest. He walked a tad faster through the house until he set me down on the sofa. I caught one last glimpse of his blue eyes before he pulled away.

"Thanks," I said under my breath.

It was more awkward than I had expected. He nodded his head and I watched as he nervously picked at his cuticles.

"I'll be in the kitchen if you need me," He commented softly before walking out.

Almost a week had passed by the time I noticed I looked okay, normal. Although I was still sore, I felt better. I was ready to get up on my own. I hated being a burden on Diana and Elliott. They had already done so much for me. I owed them plenty.

'Are you in any pain?' was the question Damon asked me over and over.

He rarely seemed to leave my side as I continued to heal and Diana put me on enough painkillers to drug a small army, but Damon said he wouldn't want anything less for me. I will admit I was scared to feel the pain. It was a reminder of every moment that I had been dragged, beaten, and left to die by a group of ruthless men.

"Elena, Diana wants to give you a sponge bath. Are you okay with that? If you don't feel comfortable, I'll tell her," He said, his eyes staring straight into my own.

"Would y-you mind?" I whispered as he fed me another spoonful of applesauce from my cup.

"Are you sure Elena?" His eyebrows were raised in surprise.

I nodded. I wanted to prove to myself that I had let go. He grabbed the supplies that Diana had left, filling the bowl with warm water before soaking the washcloth in it. His eyes moved away while I untied my robe. He moved ever so slowly as he waited. I was bare beneath it and he winced at the sight, likely unexpecting to see my battered and bruised body.

"I-I can't," He suddenly choked, turning so that I could no longer see his nervous expression.

"Okay," I said skittishly, tightening the robe around my frame.

"I'm sorry," He snapped, throwing the wet cloth down before storming from the room.

I would have run after him. I felt bad about it for some reason. I was still convincing myself that this man, my husband was simply human, that he felt emotion and guilt and empathy. He didn't visit me for the rest of the day. Diana told me that he had gone out with Elliott to look for work. I was unsure what that meant. Was he choosing to stay and settle down here?

Diana came and talked with me whenever she had time, taking an interest in my life and my fears and my dreams. It was nice to talk to someone about things still trapped inside in my heart. She was planning to help us get back on our feet. I just wasn't sure whether that meant separate from Damon. Could I possibly be independent in this society? I was used to relying on a man for everything, sister wives to help out. Now I was alone.

"We should go clothes shopping tomorrow. It would be good to get you up and moving. Plus, I'm running out of clothes to lend." She laughed.

I was nervous about the idea of wearing clothing like Diana's. I also feared betraying my religion, my God, and everything I ever believed. This next step was an official way of letting go, proving I was ready to say goodbye, but was I? My family was back there and all I had known.

I nodded my head, sipping some more water from my cup.

And so we went. I tried to imagine myself in Diana's clothes, but I just could not see it. Diana brought us to a store called TJ Maxx, Damon avoiding me while in the car. I was tempted to reach out and comfort him, but just like me, he needed time to adjust. As we entered, I felt extremely overwhelmed by the plethora of clothing. It seemed to be everywhere we looked. I didn't even know what size I was, nor what looked good.

"Start with this rack Elena. You are definitely a size 0 or size 2. Whatever you like in your size...take it!" She told me reassuringly.

She walked over to the men's section with Damon at her side. I filed through the racks, seeing things the Prophet would have spit on. Women wearing pants was a sin in itself in his eyes. Noticing the fifty different kinds of jeans thrown on the rack left my mind puzzled. Luckily, I was able to find quite a few cute tops and some of the jeans that seemed nice.

I saw Diana return without Damon. She came to me, asking about my selections and helped me choose what would look the best, seemingly unafraid.

"Elena, when you have your menstrual cycle, I'll show you how to use a pad. You don't have to use old rags anymore. Just let me know!" She smiled.

Diana never stopped being happy. She always saw the good in everything. Knowing she understood how hard this was for me only made it easier. She made me feel safe...and even loved!

"I haven't had mine in a while," I said with a shaky voice.

"You've been through a lot. Don't worry about it," She announced reassuringly.

She led me to an area where I tried on multiple outfits. Seeing myself for the first time in pants was a shock, but I must say that I actually liked the way I looked. I felt beautiful somehow. Diana said I was gorgeous and it made me smile to hear that. Being attractive back in the community was unheard of. No woman was better than any other. As long as you were subordinate, no one cared what you looked like.

By the time we finished, Damon appeared overwhelmed, but his dark wash jeans and tight fitting t-shirt made my stomach fill with butterflies. He looked so good and I had to hold back a grin. I was supposed to be unaffected by this. This man hurt me. I had to drill that into my mind, but something pulled at me, something telling me it was okay to allow myself to feel.

After, Diana took us for lunch. I had never eaten at a restaurant and neither had Damon. It was amazing that others were paid to serve you and cooks paid to prepare delicious food. I still felt like people stared, even now that our clothes matched theirs. Was it my hair? The way I behaved so differently? Could it have been the look in my eye, the fear and the pain? It was as if they all knew.

As I laid awake that night, alone in the darkness of my bedroom, I thought about Damon. I thought about God. I thought about what Jesus would have done. That helped me a lot. I had grown up being taught to follow a man that was the epitome of humanity. So, would He have forgiven Damon? Of course. I needed to try harder, pray harder to accept him, to forgive him.

I closed my eyes, finally relaxed enough to sleep.

I felt his lips capture mine, his hands roaming my body. His eyes bore into my own as he suddenly stopped.

"I can't have you," He whispered before disappearing.

I screamed for him not to leave me. I closed my eyes for what felt like a few seconds. When I opened them I realized I was in the Prophet's office with Damon. Damon was quietly speaking with him as I stood in the doorway. I wanted to run out, but my legs would not budge.

Damon walked toward me, stopping in front of me.

"The money he was willing to pay was far too good to give up. He said I made a good choice by handing you over. I'm sorry, Elena" He said with a creepy grin.

"DAMON. NO," I screamed as he shut the door behind him, the Prophet winking at me from his desk. He started to walk toward me, grabbing my arm roughly and pushing me over to his desk.

"I told you it wouldn't take long. Damon seemed happy enough to hand you over with a little bribe or two. Now...I think it's time to teach a bad girl a lesson," He hissed as he wiped his sweaty forehead with his handkerchief, his lips forming a crooked smile that made my stomach turn.

He grabbed my dress, ripping it off me before I could even think. He slammed me down on his desk, crawling over me as I lay helpless. It was as if I could not control my body.

"Be a good girl, Elena," He whispered in my ear and I only continued to scream louder.

"DAMON!" I shrieked.

I had cried out and I awakened seconds later, my heart racing. I was sitting up, trying to catch my breath, and I felt the tears stream down my cheeks, the dream feeling much too real. What if Damon did hand me over to the Prophet? If they promised not to punish him, would he do it? I was sobbing, my voice trembling as I wept softly to myself.

Then, a figure in the doorway appeared, a familiar one. Damon.