Hello Everyone!
I realized I had forgotten to mention something pretty important in the last chapter! So, basically all of the Alpha Trolls are older than the Beta, but Dirk, Roxy, Jane and Jake are the younger siblings to John, Rose, Dave and Jade. I thought I could do some cute stuff with that. (Hence a DirkJake reference in this chapter. Who knows, I may go somewhere with that!) Thank you so much for the reviews, they are always accepted! Thank you for reading, and enjoy this next chapter!
Hemlockforensics
turntechGodhead started pestering ectoBiologist at 24:00
EB: hi dave!
TG: yo my favorite derp
TG: sup
EB: hahaha nothing much!
EB: we just finally arrived at camp!
TG: oh cool
TG: so uh
TG: whos in your cabin
EB: whelp, there weren't enough guys to have two cabins, so we're all in one!
TG: sweet
TG: who are ya bunkin with
EB: karkat!
TG: oh
TG: cool
TG: i mean i guess
TG: yeah super cool
TG: hope thats fun for you
EB: i'm sure it will be!
EB: karkat's really cool!
EB: except he's topping…
EB: why does everyone do that?
TG: egbert
TG: please babe
TG: you couldnt be dominant when fucking nepeta
EB: WHAT?!
EB: DAVE!
TG: john
EB: I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!
TG: hey if youve got a thing for vantas thats cool
TG: as long as i get to be the best man at your wedding
EB: pffft dave, you know i like girls!
EB: don't be silly!
TG: right
TG: of course
TG: so
TG: whats up
EB: whelp, i'm about to go exploring with karkat, vriska and terezi!
TG: shit vriska
EB: yep!
EB: wait, why shit vriska?
TG: nothin
TG: never mind
TG: remind me to never ever fucking text karkinkles again
EB: ...karkinkles?
TG: hahahaha
TG: dude call him that i dare you
EB: okay i did!
TG: and
TG: ?
EB: I FUCKING HATE YOU WITH A PASSION DAVE
TG: ah see you stole egdorks phone
TG: and my bed
EB: I TOLD YOU I WOULD YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH
TG: look karkat
TG: if you really wanna chit chat
TG: you could unblock me from your pesterchum
EB: FINE.
EB: WAIT. MAYBE I WON'T.
TG: ugh
TG: whatever
TG: just put john back on
EB: okay, i'm back now!
EB: sorry about the delay!
TG: nah its cool
EB: sweet!
EB: so how's dirk?
TG: a little shit
TG: he keeps fucking drawing pictures
EB: pictures?
EB: of what?
TG: some stupid kid with glasses and black hair
TG: and really green eyes
EB: ooooh, maybe it's a girl he has a crush on!
TG: nah its of a dude
TG: but hell lil man might be gay or some shit
EB: ...what? he's five dave!
EB: there's no way he could know that!
TG: huh
TG: he keeps pointing at it and saying
TG: "CAAAAAAKE"
TG: "BO I WANNA SEE CAAAAAAAKE"
TG: do you think he might be your fathers son
TG: is dirk really your brother
TG: that would be a magic ending to my shitty situation.
EB: whelp, maybe he's not saying cake?
EB: i mean like, what rhymes with cake?
TG: make
TG: bake
TG: shake
TG: fake
TG: take
TG: quake
EB: yeah maybe he just wants cake.
TG: yeah probably.
TG: aight i gotta fly
EB: okie dokie!
EB: text me later?
TG: you sound like a stupid girlfriend
TG: but sure whatever
turntechGodhead ceased pestering ectoBiologist at 1:04
June 14th, 2014
Dear Dave,
I understand that it's the second time that I've written to you today, but sometimes you just give me closure, you know? Also I felt like I should let you know everything that happens today. I mean, I know I already texted you and everything, but I still like to tell you even more than I did on the phone.
Once we arrived at camp, we got to choose our cabins. Of course, I'm sharing a bunk with Karkat, like I told you I would; he's on top. I really wanted to get the top bunk, but I guess I'm just always destined to get the bottom, even with Karkat. Do you remember how we used to argue about who got to have the top bunk? I do. We also have Gamzee, Sollux, Tavros and Eridan in our cabin. After a lot of fuss, it was decided that Tavros and Gamzee would share a bunk, and Eridan and Sollux would share one. You should have seen the looks on their faces! They hooted and hollered for when seemed like hours! You know, it's almost uncanny how much Sollux and Eridan seem to hate each other… I think it might have something to do with the fact that Sol is dating Feferi now. Did you know that? I'm sure you did. You're much farther in the loop than I am, and I'm not even here!
...I just realized how many gay sex jokes you could make from that last paragraph; and I know you would make a few. It seems like the only jokes you ever make are gay sex jokes! Whelp, that and making me feel nerdy. But that's okay, I love every word that comes out of those perfect red lips of yours! I suppose that's what makes us such good friends- we adore every part of one another.
Anywho, after we went to our cabins and put our shit down, we went to the tents outside and listened to all of the rules. You remember that, right? It was SOOOO boring. But luckily, I got to sit next to Jade, which was pretty fun! She's doing very well, it seems. I also got to sit with Vriska. I think she got a new perfume this summer, it smells really good. I wonder if she's trying to get a boyfriend or something. You know, it must be really hard to get a boyfriend when you're as tall as she is. I mean, she's really pretty! With that blond hair and her dark blue eyes...I personally think that if she were to wear less makeup, she would be able to get a boyfriend in no time. The only issue is, I think she tries too hard. I think she's really insecure, Dave. I always feel really sorry for people who look insecure. Do you suppose I am? Insecure, I mean...I suppose all humans are in a certain way.
After the rules, we went on a scavenger hunt around the area. Karkat, Vriska, Terezi and I teamed up to explore! It was really cool, I'm sure that Jake would have been proud of my adventurous attitude. It started out really fun, since Vriska is so friendly. However, Karkat eventually started yelling at her for whatever reason (you know how he is!) and then Terezi joined in. You know, Dave, I don't think I ever want to have a girlfriend. They look like they're so much work. I mean, they should know how lucky they are to be able to be with someone like you or Karkat. Honestly, Terezi is an idiot. Like, what is she, completely blind?!
Right.
She is.
Basically, what ended up happening to us, was Karkat decided to take us off the trail. Do you remember last year when Eridan got stinging nettle all over his back? You know, the night when I fell in the burs… Right, not going to talk about that. I know that story makes you feel awkward. Funnily enough, Sollux hardly even cares about it when I mention it. I wonder why it freaks you out so much. Oh darn, I'm rambling again, aren't I? Whelp, ever since that day, stinging nettle in the Skaia forests has become somewhat of a legend. So guess where we ended up?
The answer is, on a really steep hill covered in stinging nettle with only a few trees to hold onto, and a small creek at the bottom. It was a disaster! Terezi went down first, and she helped Vriska (who was covered in stinging nettle) down into the creek. Then, Karkat took my hand and led me down the hill as well. But, knowing me, I tripped over a root which stuck out of the ground, and tumbled forward with him. By the time we reached the creek, our bodies were entangled in a big, muddy mess, and the girls were laughing hysterically. I was so embarrassed! And Karkat was pissed off too...He hasn't even spoken to me since then. He's just sitting above me, texting away on his phone per usual. He's really weird sometimes. I think, in a minute, I'll go climb up into his bed and poke him until he forgives me. Well….either that or I'll just put red Koolaid in the shower-head that he'll use tomorrow morning. You know how much he hates the color red! Plus, I love the color red. It's the color of love, passion, blood which helps us survive and the color of your eyes. Honestly, Dave. I know that you hate them...But I think they're so cool. Do you remember when I first saw them? I do.
Anyway, I should probably go try to appease our friend, Grumpy, the 5th dwarf.
Love,
John
PS: I hope you'll text me more. I really like getting your messages.
grimAuxiliatrix began pestering carcinoGeneticist at 21:21
GT: Hello, Karkat.
GT: I Saw That You Were Not In A Very Good Mood Today.
CG: UGH
CG: KANAYA SHUT THE FUCK UP
CG: THIS IS HOW I AM EVERY DAY.
GT: Are You Sure?
GT: I Am Supposing That You Are Not On Pesterchum At This Time Of Night When You Can Just As Easily Be Conversing With Someone Else In The Room.
CG: WHO THE FUCK WOULD I WANT TO TALK TO
CG: GAMZEE IS FUCKING HIGH AGAIN
CG: TAVROS IS JUST FUCKING STUPID I MEAN WHO WOULD WANT TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WHEN IT TAKES HIM TEN FUCKING MINUTES TO GET A SINGLE SYLLABLE WORD OUT OF HIS INSANELY BABY-LIKE FACE
CG: AND ERIDAN AND SOLLUX ARE JUST BOTH FIGHTING PRICKS
GA: Oh Dear.
GA: Are They Fighting Again?
CG: YEAH I THINK IT'S ABOUT FEFERI
GA: No, I Do Not Think So.
CG: THEN WHAT THE FUCK WOULD IT BE ABOUT
GA: I Do Not Think I Am At Liscence To Say, Dear.
CG: YOU FUCKING DRIVE ME UP THE WALL YOU KNOW THAT
GA: Karkat, Darling.
GA: Everyone Seems To Drive You Up The Wall.
GA: You Know, When I First Met Rose We Were Not Very Close. We Were Also So Focused On Our Friendship And Not Being Homosexual That We Fought Often. I Would Become Jealous Over Practically Any Other Female Or Male Whom She Conversed With. I Would Also Become Frequently Embarrassed Over Any Physical Contact We Might Share, And Not Wish To Speak With Her For Days At A Time. I Suppose That Is Just What Humans Do Though When They Are Seeking Romantic Partners.
CG: KANAYA
CG: SHUT THE FUCK UP
CG: YOU ARE RAMBLING
CG: AGAIN
GA: Oh, Sorry Dear.
GA: I Apologize.
CG: WHAT THE FUCK EVER.
CG: JUST DON'T START LECTURING
CG: I CAN ONLY DEAL WITH ONE FUCKING KANKRI IN MY LIFE.
GA: Of Course, Dear.
CG: SO WAS THERE A POINT TO THAT WEIRD FUCKING RANT
GA: Yes.
CG: ARE YOU GOING TO TELL ME IT
GA: No. You Will Find Out Soon Enough.
CG: WHAT THE FUCK.
GA: Oh My I Have To Depart.
CG: FUCK
CG: WHY
GA: Rose Wishes To Climb Into Bed With Me For "Snuggling".
GA: I Should Respect Her Wishes.
CG: HA
CG: SEE
CG: I WAS RIGHT I KNEW SHE WOULD COME AROUND
GA: Yes, You Were Right. I Should Come To You For Romantic Advice More Often.
GA: I Am Sure My Attempt On The Bus Worked Well Too.
CG: FOR LACK OF BETTER WORDS
CG: IT WAS REALLY FUCKING ADORABLE
GA: Yes, I Agree.
CG: KANAYA
CG: I AM THE RELATIONSHIP MASTER
GA: Yes You Are.
GA: On Everyone's Feelings, Excluding Your Own.
grimAuxaliatrix ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist at 21:45
CG: WAIT WHAT