HEY HEY HEY!

Sorry about the long wait...And about a lot of other things in this chapter. Anywho, I've decided I'm going to add a few sub-plot chapters here and there for BroDad, DirkJake (#kindergartenswag), and CronKri. Officially! :) So, yeah, please please PLEASE follow/favorite and review! I cannot describe how much your reviews lighten up my life! Y'all are the shit. And um...yeah, if you want the rating to go up, just say so! I've never written smut before...so we'll see how that goes!

HemlockForensics

Dear Dave,

I hope you understand that I miss you a ton. I know, that's kind of a dorky way to start off a letter to your best friend (who's like way super duper awesome), but I wouldn't start it any other way. These letters are really nice, you know? I mean, I can say whatever the fuck I want to, and it's never really going to matter. I can finally tell you how I feel! Not that I feel anything strange for you...I guess I just kinda feel really platonic for you. I guess that would make sense, right? Right! But, I do miss you a lot. We went on a hike today! Which I know you know, but that's okay. But I guess some other stuff happened too! I talked to Vriska for a little while. Evidently she's been "getting it on" with Terezi. I thought that was pretty interesting, but I guess Terezi was desperate after being dumped by you. I'm pretty sure it would suck a fuck ton to be dumped by you! I feel bad for almost any girl that has to go through that. I envy them too, sort of, in a way. Not in like, a creepy-homosexual-stalker-friend kind of way, of course! I just wish girls understood me like you do. Okay, not in a platonic way- Oh whatever, you know what I'm trying to say. So, instead of typing awkward shit, why don't I just tell you what happened today?

So, yeah. We went on a hike, shit went down, blah blah blah. We actually just got back to camp, and we're all back in our cabins! Karkat's decided to stop talking to me though… I kind of ended up putting Koolaid in his shower head and now his hair is purple! Well, his hair is brown...So it's sort of like putting purple dye in shit! Not that I've ever...done...that… Come on, Dave you know I haven't! Why the fuck would I ever dye my own shit? Right. Great prank. That's what we were talking about. I just hope he doesn't keep ignoring me like this. I would really like to have late night conversations with him! Although, I don't think he'd be as great as you are at them, I'm sure we'll do fine.

You know, between you and I, I think Feferi and Sollux are having a little bit of trouble in their relationship. I know that you don't really care about that kind of shit, but it still worries me. I really hope that Eridan isn't the cause of it too-I would rather not have any bodies stacked up at camp this year. Death is bad. Death should not happen. But every time I look up, one of them is looking at the other one; but when the other one looks up, they both turn away with red faces. But seriously, how bad could it be to have someone dating the girl you like? I mean, I guess I've never really felt jealous of anyone before...Okay, that's a lie. I was a little jealous of Terezi when you were dating her, but only because she was taking up so much of your time! Jeez, Dave, stop making gay jokes. I know that if you read this, you'd be making gay jokes. Fuck, we can't even have a normal conversation without you making gay jokes! WHAT IS UP WITH YOU AND GAY JOKES?! Not that I don't adore them, of course! As much as I hate to admit it, you're absolutely hilarious! I mean, not as funny as me, but still pretty funny. I wonder if you think I'm funny...I always try to get you to laugh, but you never do. I know you have that whole "Stoic Strider" thing going on, but I would really like it if you smiled once and a while. Just once, even. Just so I know that you care. I'd like to see it, I'm sure you have a great smile.

I wonder if Terezi made you smile. Did you smile after you fucked her? I bet you did, and I guess that hurts a bit. Not that I would ever admit it aloud and-

Oh shit. What am I doing? I should continue writing your letter...But, I'm not sure if I'm in the mood anymore. Fuck, I hardly even wrote a page. I guess I'll have to apologize for that later. But I'm tired now, and I should probably go to sleep.

Goodnight, Dave. I hope I hear from you soon. I also hope that you continue to live a happy life and that your siblings remain well and happy.

Platonic Love,

John

P.S: I really hope I get to see you smile someday.

Kankri Karkat

Call Began at 12:00 am.

"Ugh, why the fuck are you calling me so late?"

"Oh, I apologize, dear brother. I do hope that I did not wake you because that would be highly triggering in many different fashions. However, I do remember when Father began to send me to Biblical Sleep Away Camps that most of the children did not sleep very often, if at all. I remember that I slept very soundly, excluding the rare occasion when I spoke to my bedmate until it was almost 10:30. I apologize if I assumed that you are one of the children who do not go to sleep, for I know that you have insomnia and-"

"Oh my fucking God! Shut the FUCK up, Kankri!"

"Because I have decided to call upon you for an entirely different circumstance, I shall choose to ignore that last comment. However, I would like to inform you that language such as that is not fondly regarded in the world, and I would appreciate it if you would not use it in my presence. I shall not press farther than that, albeit I would like to lecture you at a later time."

"Okay, did you get me out of my fucking cabin at midnight just to lecture me or did you have a fucking reason?"

"First of all, I would like to state that you were not listening to me at all. If you were to listen to me every once and I while, you would understand that I was attempting to tell you that I was not going to lecture you about lingual matters. At the same time, if you do not listen to what I am about to ask, it could become potentially triggering to everyone involved in your life."

"Fine. I'm listening."

"I would like to ask if you are completely certain that you would like to stay at your summer camp. I was informed by Kanaya that you were becoming short-winded on the expedition today which you took part in. I have told you on numerous occasions that I do not wish for you to take part in such activities until we know for certain."

"Ugh, Kankri! Can you please shut the fuck up? I know what I'm doing, okay? So you can leave me the fuck alone! I'm not some stupid writhing baby who can't differ its right foot from its left! I understand when I am in fucking pain and I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!"

"I do comprehend what you are trying to say, Karkat, however-"

"No fucking 'howevers', Kankri! If having Kanaya checking every five fucking seconds wasn't bad enough, I have to have you do it too? Don't you understand that I just want to have fun? I don't want to fucking think about this anymore! And that is final!"

"Karkat. I do hope you understand that I am not in favor of this at all. I am your guardian legally, and I am attempting to be both civil and reasonable with you. I would like to inform you that if you take part in such an activity again, I shall be forced to invite you to come back home. Also, Dr. Moffatt sent me an email which said that the data from the tests shall be arriving any day now."

"No-"

"I am afraid that it will, Karkat. And although it may pain me, I do understand that we will have to look at it. And I would like to let you know that if it says anything on it that may cause suspicion, I will have you sent home immediately. I understand that you would like to have fun on this little excursion, but your health comes first to me. And that is final."

"Kankri, you are such a fucking asshole!"

"It's not my fault, Karkat, please do not yell for it is quite-"

"NO! I will fucking yell if I want to! And I can also say what I want to, so listen up shithole. I. Am. Staying. Here. I would honestly rather die out here than in some shitty-ass hospital! And you know I'm going to die either way!"

"No, Karkat. We do not know that for certain, the tests have not arrived quite yet-"

"Kankri! It doesn't matter! Just...Just call me when the results come."

"...Alright. I suppose I should leave you now."

"Yeah. And I know you've been worrying about me all night, so go get some fucking sleep."

"I'll attempt it."

"Goodnight, Kankri."

"Sweet dreams, Karkat. But not the type where you ejaculate afterwards, because that might be triggering for John to notice after he-"

"KANKRI HOLY FUCKING SHIT! YOU DID NOT JUST GO THERE."

"Apologies. I do believe I just triggered myself at the thought. Allow me to go cleanse myself."

"Uh, okay. Night."

"Goodnight."

Call ended at 12:34 am.

Rose had suddenly found herself in quite an interesting situation. She looked above her where Kanaya was sleeping. She understood that Kanaya could become quite agitated when not provided with enough rest, however, she also understood that there was a pressing thought on her mind. Vriska Serket. It had been quite some time since Kanaya and Vriska were in a couple together, and from what Kanaya had told her, they never went farther than the occasional kissing session. At the same time, she could not shake this intense feeling that Kanaya was still in love with Vriska. Somehow, their conversations always ended up revolving around her. Perhaps Rose was just frightened though. She understood how the human mind worked (better, actually, than the majority of human beings), and she could comprehend as to how ex-girlfriends could be particularly on the minds of their ex-partners. She still could not stop thinking about it, though. She wondered if this had something to do with jealousy. Yes, she was jealous.

But how could that be? Did she really, honestly believe that Kanaya would choose Vriska over herself? Yes, actually, she would. There was a strange amount of alikeness in Kanaya and Rose; and Rose knew the whole saying of "opposites attracting". Perhaps that was why John and Dave wanted to take part in sexual relations with one another so often. How unfair it was to not be one of them. They were just so goddamned stupid (pardon her language). They were clearly meant for one another, and yet they could not just fucking admit it! And here Rose was, in love with this beautiful girl, who could never love her as much as she loved some stupid whorish spider-bitch. It was awful. It was horrible. The amount of pain Rose felt was highly unbearable-she knew she was being completely silly. But was she? Did Kanaya actually love her?

At the same time, Kanaya was secretly awake and pretending to be asleep, herself. She could not stop thinking about what Vriska had said to her. Was it really time for her to lose her virginity? She knew she loved Rose, but were they really ready for it? Kanaya knew she had thought about it more times than should be natural. It was almost embarrassing how much she wanted to see the Lalonde in her naked glory. At the same time, though, they were never very passionate in their kissing. Perhaps it was time for them to become more passionate in their romance- Kanaya knew she was ready. Rose was just so beautiful and perfect. She was this mass of mysterious energy which Kanaya constantly wanted to taste.

I guess I should just talk to her about it, they thought.