OH MY GOD IT HAS BEEN SO LONG. I AM SO SORRY.
I just want to take this time to thank you all for your patience. I had some trouble in my family over the past year, and so I had to stop writing this fic. You are all honestly wonderful human beings, and I really hope this next chapter will make up for all the time lost! I will be updating a LOT more! I promise. And if I won't I'll give a warning next time!
So, just a recap of what's going on; Vriska was a huge bitch and kissed Kanaya, Dave and John are in denial, and Bro just told Dave to read eerily similar letters to a guy named Jeff that John is writing to Dave. Also, there's something going on with Karkat.
AND YOUR REVIEWS MAKE MY LIFE. KEEP EM COMING!
love,
HF
Dear Jeff,
Aight, so I decided it might be a bad idea to tell you how I feel n' shit, so like, I decided it might be a good idea to write this exciting bullshit down on paper. Fuck, maybe when we graduate I can even give these to you. Hahaha, wouldn't that be funny? Yeah. Anyway.
I guess I wanna start by apologizin'. This ain't what I wanted to happen, and trust me, if there was anything I could do to fix it, I fuckin' would. But I guess there's really nothin I can do on this particular matter, right? I guess so. I mean, it ain't like I meant to smile when you watch those fuckin' movies or laugh at that ugly-ass James Bond hat of yours. It just kinda...Happened. I didn't mean it to. Isn't it weird how things work out like that?
Man, at first, I was like "fuck, there ain't no way this lil preppy shit will even be my friend" and yet, there you were in that goddamn math class, talkin' to me like I was the only important person in your world. And I don't know, blue eyes get me distracted if I'm not payin' attention and shit. Fuck, I guess it's good I didn't tell you. I am shit with words.
Dave had to put the letter down. He just had to. He blinked again, and took off his shades in order to get a more qualified examination. Fuck, what was his bro thinking? Jesus, don't say that HE thinks Dave is gay too?! That just didn't make sense. Sexuality didn't make sense. He didn't WANT to think about sex since he decided to do it with Terezi, and he certainly doesn't want it with a man. So why would Bro make him read this shit? And who was this guy? But...why couldn't he help but reread the part about blue eyes? Yeah. Blue eyes were great and all, but he guessed it just seemed kinda familiar. And the stupid movie part? Maybe these weren't gay letters? Just platonic letters? Yeah, that had to be it.
I guess I should just be happy with being your best friend and all. I know you like that Jackson girl, and I wouldn't wanna get in your way about that. Goin' steady is a big deal to you. I get that. And with your dad bein' religious and all...I guess I don't wantcha goin' through the same kinda shit that I did. And so I guess it would be better if you just didn't know about me. Sure, I've had this silly crush on you since I was thirteen or whatnot, but I still can't shake the feeling that maybe I can get over it. Maybe, I just need to graduate, and then I will finally be able to walk away from you. Ya know, find some boys who might be into dick. Alright, okay, I know you don't like that word. Maybe I'll find someone who falls in love with me, the way I think I've fallen for you.
There. I said it. I've fallen for you. I think.
I think I'm in love with you, Jeff.
All my love, I guess.
Broderick Strider, age 15.
Okay, so maybe it's not platonic.
Kankri Karkat
YOUR EXTREMELY INTELLIGIBLE BROTHER IS CALLING YOU.
"Fucking CHRIST, Kankri! Why the fuck are you calling?!"
"Karkat, I will repeat myself once more. That is not a polite way to answer the phone. If you are to answer the phone then you must do so politely. There are many different ways to answer the phone. For example, you could respond with a 'hello' or an 'I've missed you' or even a 'how have you been?'. In fact, there are most likely, an infinite amount of things you could say instead of what you have just said. I have always thought that a young person should not use such foul language when talking to their eld-"
"You're not that much older than me. And I'm so sorry, okay? Yeesh."
"Thank you, your apology has been accepted. Now, onto further subjects. First of all, I would like you to know that I am going to get the results today about your institutionalization."
Pause.
"I want you to know that no matter what, I am here for you Karkat. A-and I wish I could be with you during this time. You mean more than the world to me, and I want you to seriously comprehend that. I am not sure how to show it other than verbalizing it in this way, although I will contemplate it."
"...Thanks, Kankri. It really means a lot."
"...I know."
"..."
"Anyway, on a completely different subject, I would like you to know that I have just received a call from Porrim. She has just informed me that something major has happened. Something which could potentially change everything from here on out. Now, you know I am not one to gossip, but I feel as though I must. And this is only because I fully and completely trust you."
"You trust me?"
"I am going to attempt to verbalize this in a way which you can comprehend, as I see that I have no other choice. I am giving you a trigger warning of foul language."
"I think I can handle foul language, Kankri."
"Alright. Then, no shit, I fucking trust you."
"..."
"Karkat, it is impolite to respond. Surely, you have learned that in school, you must always respond to a teacher when they ask a question. I assume that you can understand how you would need to respond when I worked so hard to enable you to comprehend what I was feeling-"
"BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAAAA!"
"..."
"Kankri, it's impolite not to respond."
"...I will be honest, I am not sure how to respond to that, aside from lecturing you. However, I am not going to lecture you, as we obviously have other matters to discuss."
"Like?"
"What Porrim called me for!"
"Oh. Right."
"Yes. Anyway, she has confirmed that something absolutely life changing has happened. And as I was saying, I am only able to tell you this because I fully and completely trust you. This is no ordinary form of gossip."
"Shit, did Porrim get knocked up again?"
"KARKAT VANTAS. YOU TAKE THAT BACK IMMEDIATELY DO YOU HEAR ME?! YOU MUST UNDERSTAND HOW THAT COULD BE TRIGGERING ON SO MANY LEVELS TO SO MANY PEOPLE. WHAT YOU HAVE JUST SAID IS COMPLETELY AND HOPELESSLY UNTRUE AND I WILL NOT TOLERATE SUCH BEHAVIOR FROM YOU. I DO NOT CARE WHAT SORT OF MENTAL STATE YOU ARE IN, I DO NOT CARE WHAT YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE. IT IS COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY USELESS FOR YOU TO SAY SUCH HORRIFIC THINGS ABOUT SOMEONE WHO CARES SO MUCH FOR YOU. AND OF COURSE, PORRIM HAS MADE SOME BAD DECISIONS IN THE PAST, BUT THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HOW SHE ACTS NOW IN REGARDS TO THESE SORTS OF SITUATIONS. YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND HOW THESE THINGS CAN BE EXTREMELY TRIGGERING TO OTHERS, AND HOW IT IS COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE TO MAKE HUMORLESS JOKES ON THE SUBJECTS OF SUCH THINGS. ALSO, I WOULD LIKE TO TELL YOU THAT YOUR LANGUAGE WAS COMPLETELY AND HORRIBLY OFFENSIVE AS WELL AND-"
"Kankri, you sound like an adult in the Peanuts cartoons."
"And you sound like Sally."
"Whoa, was that an insult?"
"Yes."
"Why are you telling me? Badadada, My New Philosophy, Badadada-"
"Why are you singing?"
"That teacher gave a D on last week's homework-"
"Stop that immediately. You sound like your Strider friend."
"Alright, it's YOUR turn to take something back! Jesus, I will never want to be like Dave Strider, so just shut the fuck up on the subject, okay?! That dick steals everything from me and I-"
"Karkat, I hope this isn't triggering, but I honestly do not care. We shall speak on this at a later time, of course, but not right now. Right now, you must go see to what is troubling Kanaya."
"Wait, what?"
"Porrim has just informed me that Kanaya is crying and alone. You must go see to what is happening."
"Shit."
"My thoughts exactly."
"Really?"
"No."
"Thought so."
"I will call later then. Good day, Karkat."
"Yeah you too, asswhipe."
"Kar-"
YOU HAVE ENDED THE CALL WITH YOUR OBNOXIOUS BROTHER.
tentacleTherapist began pestering ectoBiologist at 17:15
TT: John. I am sorry to message you when you are most likely attempting to have a good time at the beach. but the most awful thing has just occured.
EB: hi rose! :D
EB: oh. wait.
EB: really?
TT: Do you think I would joke about something like this?
EB: i don't think so?
TT: Precisely.
EB: okaaaaaaaay?
TT: Please do not type things in eights.
TT: I am begging you.
TT: I do not want to see a single thing with "8" again. I would like to get rid of all of it.
TT: I will have a genocide of octopi. All of them will die. Along with all symmetry. And pianos.
EB: but i like pianos!
TT: Do I look like I am really in the mood for caring right now, John?
EB: no?
TT: And then we shall have a burning of every single spider that has ever existed.
EB: wait, what's with the sudden eight hate?
EB: pfff, eight hate. i'll have to tell dave about that one!
TT: ….
TT: You are not funny, John. I am terribly sorry to tell you that.
EB: wow, john hate too? sheesh!
EB: what'd i do?
TT: John, please. I really just need to speak with you right now.
EB: alriiiiiiight, i guess i'm listening?
TT: Actually, perhaps David would be better to talk to.
EB: aw, why?
EB: if it's an emotional thing, dave runs away from that.
EB: trust me!
TT: …
EB: what?
TT: Nothing.
EB: ?
EB: never mind i guess?
EB: anyway, what's worrying you?
TT: Well, I was changing into my swimsuit.
EB: the frilly one?
TT: THAT DOESN'T MATTER JOHN.
EB: holy shit!
EB: okay okay okay, sorry i'm listening!
TT: Thank fucking god. I thought I was going to have to-
TT: Never mind.
TT: Anyway, I was approaching the other changing tent in order to get Kanaya.
TT: Or you.
TT: Actually, I was just looking for someone to speak to because I was being overwhelmed by boredom.
TT: When I saw.
EB: ?
TT: Well…
EB: yeah?!
TT: Kanaya kissing Vriska.
EB: whoa.
EB: wait.
EB: WHAT?!
TT: Yes. I always knew something was going on between them!
TT: I just…
TT: I was hoping it was all just my imagination running away with me again. I am not sure…
EB: aw, rose! that's awful!
TT: I know. And I cannot stop crying.
EB: fuck! where are you?
TT: Somewhere far away from wherever you are, I presume.
EB: :(
TT: My thoughts exactly.
EB: you know what, rose?
TT: What.
EB: you're too good for her anyway!
TT: That is not true. I was not good enough.
EB: not good enough for a cheater?!
EB: please, rose. you aren't good enough for anybody.
TT: That was an improper use of grammar.
EB: what?
TT: Never mind. I'm angry, please excuse my faults.
EB: they are totally excused!
EB: but what isn't excused is what she did to you!
EB: and you know what?
TT: What?
EB: you are going to get your fine patootie back here,
EB: we are going to find jade,
EB: and have a skype call with dave.
EB: and hang out just like the old times!
TT: ….
TT: That might be the stupidest thing I have ever heard.
EB: you remind me of karkat when you're mad.
TT: So stupid it might work.
EB: WHOA WAIT.
EB: REALLY?!
TT: Yes.
TT: And I cannot believe that I am typing this...but…
TT: 3
EB: ew.
TT: You only say that because you are homosexual.
EB: seriously?!
TT: I am just teasing.
TT: Has your sense of humor suddenly disappeared?
EB: still in tact!
EB: oh, karkat's calling to me.
EB: gotta fly!
TT: Hahaha, alright. I will see you shortly.
EB: yeah, go find jade!
TT: 3
tentacleTherapist ceased pestering ectoBiologist at 17:35.
Sollux needed to sit down. He needed to sit down badly. And so, he decided to sit down. He could see Feferi and Jade playing in the water in front of him; he guessed it was totally fine! He was happy Feferi had so many great friends, especially since Jade seemed to have a good influence on her. He guessed it was the way her breasts looked in her tiny little bikini that gave him the horrible erection he was now hiding. He really hated swimming days.
Yeah. It had to be that. Even though, he got it right before looking at Eridan bending over in his tiny-ass Speedo. The dude had no goddamn ass, he was skinny as fuck. Kinda like Sollux, but not as terrible. And who the fuck said it was alright for him to have abs anyway? Sollux was only jealous. Yeah. He was jealous and his bonder was because of Feferi's breasts bouncing up and down. Nothing. Else.
"Hey Sol," Eridan sat down by him, running a hand through his blond hair.
"Fuck off ED." Sollux said, looking out into the lake. He didn't really want to meet Eridan's eyes. Especially when he was so...jealous...of him…
"Yeah, I think I'd rather not," Stupid fucking prick. Why did he have to stay here?! Jesus.
"Then I gueth I'll move." Sollux attempted to get up, but he suddenly had a firm hand on his arm. He looked down, to see it was Eridan's, whose extremely dark blue (almost purple) eyes were staring up at his bi-colored glasses.
"Nah, ya see, Sol," He yanked Sollux back down to the sand, making him end up with a plop. "I think we've got some business to be attendin' to."
"Alright you athhole. What the fuck do you want?" He folded his arms.
"I wanna talk about you n' Fef." He deadpanned, seemingly not really caring about the situation at hand.
"Okay. Tho why do you want to talk about FF and I?" Sollux responded with proper grammar, like HA TAKE THAT YOU WEALTHY PRICK.
"I wanna talk about how she's into girls." He looked at the brunette, causing Sollux's heart to stop.
"Are you fucking KIDDING ME?!" Sollux pulled his arm from Eridan's grasp. "Fuck. Off. You have NO idea what you are talking about!"
"Sol I-" Whelp, you fucked up this time.
"You're jutht jealouth of FF and my relationthip!" He frowned, leaning in to growl at Eridan.
"You fuckin' guessed it." He responded, leaning up so that their faces were close together. It was just then that Sollux realized everyone else had moved somewhere else. He was alone with Eridan, and fuck did he smell good. Wait, what?! No. He didn't smell good.
"W-why do you want to be with her tho badly?" Sollux glared at him, meeting his eyes.
"I don't." Eridan pulled back, hopping up.
"Wait, what?!" Sollux paled visibly, getting up to stare at Eridan.
"See ya around, Sol. I'm gonna go swim."
"Wait! ED!"
"I've been waitin' for two long, Sol." He put up two of his fingers to indicate his poor joke.
Sollux was then left alone in the sand, on a beach after being told that his long time rival might be...gay for him?!
And his boner just got ten times worse.
Fuck.