The Manic Adventure Of Sam, Zee, and Jackie

Chapter 2: Friends Reunite

Zee wasn't sure what to think when night fell and she was found in the company of eight rowdy dwarves. She tried to remember all their names as they introduced themselves to her but all she could recall was that their names rhymed when they were related. As they headed back to this Bag End that Gandalf kept mentioning Zee was beginning to feel like there was something to be recalled, something to do with these dwarves.

"So lass," one of the dwarves asked, he was a goofy looking one with twin braids that reminded her of hairstyle a little girl would wear and a weird snow hat. "Gandalf said you were accompanying us."

Zee shrugged, she wasn't feeling like she could talk to these dwarves on the same level as she could her friends so she actually carefully worded her response. "I guess but I doubt I'll be much help."

He chuckled at her honesty, "Aye, that we can all see."

Zee was slightly offended by that comment but it was true; she admitted it herself. She saw their huge axes and swords that she knew she would never be able to to lift let alone drag. The only dwarf probably just as helpless as her was the innocent one she took to walking with. If her memory served, his name was Ori.

"You could learn though." he added, "One of us could teach ya."

She nodded at him and thought about it, "Yeah, I wouldn't mind learning."

"Kili could teach ya." he grinned, "He's our archer."

"Archer?" she asked happily, Zee always wanted to try archery as she felt it would be fun to do as a hobby. "I'm looking forward to it already!"

The dwarf gave her a hearty chuckle, "I'm sure he'll be just as thrilled to teach ya."

She didn't say anything else, the name sounded so familiar to her but her excitement over finally learning archery. She had horrible aim, with random moments of genius, she figured this Kili could help her out, hopefully.

"I hope Thorin doesn't get mad about the lass joining us." Zee heard the dwarves talk lowly among themselves. She was almost bothered by the fact she was the subject of their conversation.

"Aye, but where can she go?" One of them defended for her, "Gandalf said he found her alone and homeless, even though she's a child of man we can't leave her."

"I know." the goofy one added, "but I'm sure he'd appreciate the extra hands."

Who was this Thorin they were talking about? Was he their leader? Zee recalled that Gandalf had said something about a dwarf king joining them, was that Thorin then?

"Worry not Miss. Zee." Gandalf spoke to her without turning or looking over his shoulder. "I will deal with Thorin."

"Who is he?" she asked quietly so that the dwarves wouldn't hear her.

"He is the king of dwarves and leader of the quest." Gandalf answered, "Of all the dwarves he is the most stubborn and prideful."

"Why would it bother him that I would be tagging along?" she asked curiously, what would bother him? The fact she was a stranger to him?

"Dwarves are protective of their women." he explained, "Therefore they do not like to have women partake in dangerous chores."

"Because I'm a girl?" Zee wasn't a feminist but tell her she can't do something because she's a girl and hell have no fury like her rage.

"Women are rare to to their race." he added, sensing the homicidal rage from the girl. "Only one-third of their race is female."

Zee widen her eyes, "Wow.." Okay, so they had a bit of an excuse but still! She didn't need to to be babied completely.

"Do act respectful when we meet with Thorin." he told her, "He does not take disrespect well, neither do the other dwarves."

Zee bit her lip, she was so use to her blunt and honest ways that it was gonna take some work to not accidentally insult someone. "I'll try."

Gandalf took that small promise, he would be asking for far too much if he asked for more.

Bilbo was horrified with the two dwarves in his home, he hadn't minded the girl he took in but this was a bit too much!

"Please calm down Bilbo," His female house guest begged as he tried to kindly inform the dwarves to leave. She was small but taller than the hobbit and overweight, though it didn't look bad for her. Unlike some, she preferred more comfortable clothes that suited her just fine and she held great respect for herself. "you'll kill yourself."

Bilbo sighed forcibly and was about to give the girl a response when another round of knocks came from the door. Both went to the door, the girl wanted to make sure Bilbo would do nothing rash, and they found two more dwarves on the hobbit's door step.

They looked like complete contrasting characters, one being a blond with thick hair, a beard, and a braided mustache while his companion had dark hair and stubble dusted across his face.

"Fili." the blond said, introducing himself to them.

"And Kili."the brunette added for himself.

Bowing in synced unison, they said, "At your service."

When they rose again the brunette smiled cheekily, "You must be Mr. Boggins."

Bilbo angrily shook his head, "No, no, you can't come in." However, as he tried to shut the door Kili stuck his foot in the way, forcing the door back open.

"Has it been canceled?" he asked confusingly.

Fili joined Kili in the same boat, "No one told us."

The girl, who wanted Bilbo to have just the briefest moment of not having to deal with a dwarf, answered, "No, nothing's been canceled."

The two dwarves pushed Bilbo aside and smiled, "Well, that's a relief!" They entered the hobbit hole, leaving Bilbo unsure of whether he should snap or just die in that very moment.

The girl let out a pained sigh as she saw her attempt to help Bilbo out was wasted, he still looked like he was gonna die of a heart attack. These stubborn and dismissive dwarves were going to be the death of him yet!

"Careful with these," Fili turned to the hobbit and handed him his weapons, "I just had them sharpened."

Bilbo looked the pile of sharp weapons in his arms, almost afraid to move out of fear of being cut by them. It was painfully obvious that Bilbo never once touched a real blade, he probably wouldn't know what to do with one if he ever did.

"Nice place," Kili commented about the hobbit hole, "You build it yourself?"

Bilbo shook his head nervously, "N-No, it's been in the family for years." As he spoke Kili wiped his muddy boot on a glory box that belonged to Bilbo's mother. "D-Don't do that, that's my mother's glory box!"

"By the way," Fili interrupted Bilbo's panicking, "who is the lass?"

The girl took in a deep breath and answered, "My name is Jackie, Bilbo was kind enough to let me stay with him for a while."

"Oh?" Kili approached the girl and grinned, "I thought you were his wife!"

Bilbo, upon hearing that his guest was confused as his wife for a minute, blushed madly while Jackie wasn't at all bothered. "No, besides I'm too young for that yet."

Before the duo could ask for her age, one of the dwarves who arrived first came and whisked the two away. They talked about moving this to fit others, which was just enough for Bilbo to get a bit furious.

"What is going on?!" He exclaimed, "Why are there dwarves in my house?!"

Jackie rolled her eyes, "You're gonna kill yourself if you keep this up Bilbo, just relax for a minute."

"That's a bit hard when you have dwarves rearranging your entire house!" he snapped, "Not to mention that I don't even know them!"

"It could be worse," she told him, how much she was annoyed with drama. "A lot worse." All she got was a glare until there was third round of knocks.

Bilbo turned away from Jackie, shouting to the door, "No! No one's home!" he almost marched to the door but then remembered that he had Fili's things still. Tossing the blades on to a near by table, Bilbo marched to the door shouting that he did not want anymore dwarves in his house.

Jackie, not wanting hear anymore about blasted dwarves, decided on at least helping Bilbo out by making sure the dwarves didn't destroy anything else. When Bilbo agreed to house Jackie, he had proudly went on to tell her about his prized possessions. From the glory box to Grandpa Mungo's chair, she knew what was available to guests and what wasn't.

Jackie had barely given the dwarves her attention when the sounds of the door opening and something heavy hit the floor. Grumbles and groans followed the loud sound.

"Get off me you great lump!" she heard a thick accented voice say from the doorway.

"Ah! They're here" Kili grinned as the four dwarves went to greet their fellow dwarves.

"Who's here?" Jackie asked, though she was ignored just like Bilbo.

"Bilbo," an elderly voice said happily, "I hope we haven't intruded on anything."

With all the dwarves around, Jackie hadn't been able to see Bilbo but she saw a familiar someone. Smiling just a bit she clapped her hands happily, "Zee!"

Feeling a bit out of place, Zee perked up when she heard the familiar voice. "Jackie!?" Leaving Gandalf's side and pushing aside a few dwarves, Zee was reunited with her friend Jackie. "Dude, I totally missed you!"

"I missed you too Zee!" the two embraced, earning a few chuckles about their sissy hug.

Gandalf watched the two in amusement and curiosity, "So, you girls know each other?"

The two nodded, "Yeah, we've been friends for a while now."

Gandalf hummed to himself before he and the dwarves went to work on their dinner with Bilbo following in an attempt to save his pantry. Not wanting to get involved in that madness, Zee and Jackie decided to head to the small living room to talk with each other until dinner was ready.

"How did you get here?" Zee asked, "The last thing I remember is all of us being together."

Jackie shrugged, "That's all I remember too, I just woke up here and Bilbo took me in."

Zee sighed and leaned back, "Great..."

"But," Jackie added, "if we were separated then where is Sam?"

Zee sat on that idea, where could their overly blunt and brutally honest friend be? Sam probably was out there somewhere but where could she be? This is a foreign world to them, who knew where she was.

"Hopefully she's okay." Jackie sighed, it wasn't exactly something she could totally count on but a little hope couldn't hurt.

"She's not the type to go quietly." Zee grinned, she knew her best friend fairly well so she was pretty confident about Sam's well being.

Just then, the goofy dwarf who's name was Bofur, came in and told them that dinner was ready. "You lasses must be starving!"

Zee, who was starving and was a food fiend that did not pass up the chance to eat, drug Jackie to the small dining room, the dwarves were already eating like wild, starved dogs, taking bets, and chugging ale. Luckily, Zee and Jackie wouldn't have to fight for their food since the dwarves were kind enough to make the girls their plates before feasting.

"Yay!" Zee grinned as she and Jackie sat themselves outside the room housing the ill-mannered dwarves.

Jackie, having eaten little when the dwarf named Dwalin arrived, also eagerly ate the food given to her. She felt bad about eating Bilbo's food, especially since where they sat they could see where his pantry was completely empty.

"People gotta eat." Zee said when she noticed the damage, "They could've done so much worse."

Jackie shook her head, "Only you and Sam would think that."

Zee grinned in response, the comment was something be expected of the two. It was too bad that one wasn't there.

"Either way," Jackie continued, "I still feel bad."

"Yeah, yeah, I know you have a heart and Sam and I don't." she laughed, "That just might never change."

Jackie smiled and continued to eat what was on her plate. She felt a little bit better to eat when she realized that Bilbo had stopped freaking out for a moment, allowing her to eat in peace.

Sam and Thorin had been in the shire, for awhile actually. Thorin had out right refused to ask for directions to where a hobbit hole called Bag End was, hence why they were lost.

"Seriously Thorin!" Sam snapped at him, "Why can't we ask for help?"

"Dwarves do not ask for assistance!" he snapped back, "Beside, the wizard said it was easy enough to find."

Sam rolled her eyes and let Thorin wander aimlessly. She was beyond annoyed with the dwarf but since he was taking care of her, she said nothing more for a moment.

"Damn these hobbit holes!" Thorin cursed as he tried to tell one hole from another.

Having enough with the dwarf's stubbornness, Sam decided to end the search briefly. "I've got an idea. You're never going to get us anywhere if this keeps up so let's review what the wizard told you."

Thorin sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "He said to look for a green door with a marking on it."

"Oh," she sighed irritably "how specific. Okay, so then we need to look for green doors.

"We checked all the doors here." Thorin argued, "and not one has a mark."

Sam looked around before noticing a hill they had yet to check. "There's one on that hill." She pointed at the hobbit hole whose lights were still on. "We could try up there."

Sam had already started for the hill with Thorin trudging behind her, pulling their pony beside him. He had to admit, Sam had the exact personality of a female dwarf and it irritated him greatly. No child of men should be so much like a dwarf but at the same time he knew she was not trying to be a dwarf. The way she acted was far too natural for him to presume she was faking it.

"There's a lot of ponies up here." Sam noticed as they got closer, "Unless these guys are having a party I think we found it."

"I feel this might be our hobbit's home." Thorin replied as he listened in on the noise, "If the noise is anything to judge by."

Sam kind of giggled at his comment, she only knew what Thorin was like over the other dwarves and she felt like she could get along with the others if they were fun. Actually judging from the sounds, they sounded like they had a few.

When the two reached the top, Sam found that the door was green and had a mark on it. "Look!" she grinned cheekily at Thorin, "Here's our stop!"

Thorin grumbled about how unladylike she was as he tied his pony to a near by fence pole.

"Be good Minty!" Sam smiled at the pony before turning her attention to the hobbit hole, I assume they're having a blast!"

Thorin rolled his eyes, during his brief time with the girl he learned of some of her strange talk. When they came to the door Thorin banged on it so that the residents inside would hear him. It worked seeing that everyone fell quiet. The door opened, revealing twelve dwarves, a nervous hobbit, and an old wizard.

"Gandalf," Thorin came in, followed by Sam.

"Thorin." Gandalf greeted the dwarf king kindly.

"You said this place was easy to find." he said with a tone of inconvenience, "We lost our way, twice."

I found this place asshole! Sam mentally growled, not wanting to piss Thorin off and damage his pride. I didn't get lost, I made the mistake of following you!

"And who is this?" Gandalf asked, "Do you intend for her to join us?"

"Her name is Sam," he answered, "And yes I do...Why?"

Before anyone could either object or agree, Zee and Jackie came into the room and Zee squealed at the sight of her best friend.

"Sam!" Zee shoved aside a few dwarves and bear hugged her friend. However, since Sam was taller than Zee the two fell with Zee on top. "Oops!"

"You idiot!" Sam groaned, "Why would you do that!"

"Because I missed you!" she said happily, still awkwardly hugging her friend, "And I didn't know where you were. The three musketeers have been reunited!"

"What a glorious day!" Jackie added for a laugh.

Sam shook her head and shoved Zee off of her, "Well I'm here now so get off." After Zee finally got off of her friend, Sam realized there were a pair of blue eyes one her. She expected the dwarves to be looking at her funny but this was a bit more...intense.

"You know these girls?" Thorin asked, glaring a bit at the duo. "Are they your friends."

Sam nodded, "They are, my best friends."

"I see." Thorin said before turning to Gandalf, "May we speak in private Gandalf?"

When Thorin took off with Gandalf, he looked rather upset about something, Sam, Zee and Jackie decided to wait in the living room while the dwarf, Bombur, fixed Thorin and Sam a plate to eat.

"So did anyone else just realize that we're in The Hobbit?" Sam asked when she sat down, "Or am I the only one?"

The other two nodded in agreement, somehow, with all of them together, they recalled the dwarves and hobbit from the fantasy story.

"I wonder how we got here?" Jackie mused, "I didn't think we did anything for us to end up here."

"All I last remember is that we had the accident where-" Before Zee could finish, Sam covered her mouth and glared at her.

"We do not speak of that embarrassing moment ever again." she growled to them both, "We all have too much pride for that!"

Zee angrily licked Sam's hand and told her to never do that again, "But I agree, it was an embarrassing situation we should keep to ourselves."

Jackie nodded as well, "Alright but what do we do now?"

Sam grinned, "What else? We go on this adventure of a life time."

"What?" Jackie asked, "Last I recall, this is a dangerous adventure and none of us are fit enough for that!"

Zee was about to agree with Jackie until Sam added, "We'll get to see Legolas in person Zee! You might have a chance at actually marrying him!"

Zee hopped up and glared at Jackie, "Do not try to keep me from my golden elf."

Jackie put her hands up, "Okay, okay! I get it!"

Sam grinned in triumph, "Alright! The three musketeers are going on an adventure!"

"And we'll see my golden elf!" Zee sighed dreamily, "No one will get in my way!" She looked at Sam and Jackie for their promise that they wouldn't interfere with her love. Yup, she was crazy.

Yes, Zee is the crazy one and we have several jokes about her and Legolas. She even has already planned her meeting with the elf (I call him a squirrel now, he jut reminds me of a flying squirrel!) so yeah. This will be quiet the show. ~ Michelle Lacie Kat