The Manic Adventure Of Sam, Zee, and Jackie
Chapter 4: Detectives Sam and Zee On The Case!
When the company stopped at a cliff ledge, Kili and Zee left to go start her practice. Some of the dwarves went to go watch while the rest stayed to set up camp. Sam would have gone to watch but Jackie and Bofur went and Bilbo stayed at the camp, it was the perfect opportunity for her to get some dirt.
"Here," Sam said as she hurried to a confused and slightly helpless hobbit, "let me help you out Bilbo."
He had been assigned the job of tying up the ponies and Minty was being a bit of a rambunctious one. "Thank you." he sighed when Sam calmed the pony down.
"Don't worry about it." she smiled, "Thorin had me tie Minty up when we took a break before heading over to Bag End."
"At least you know how to deal with these animals." he groaned, "I do not like them."
"Really?" Sam always wondered why Bilbo never like ponies in the movie, "How come?"
"They're bigger than me." he said quietly, "They scare me."
Sam smiled sympathetically, "I use to be scared of horses because of a bad experience but I got over it."
"How?" he asked.
"I never really blamed the horse anymore." she said, "The poor thing was just as frightened as I was and plus no one else who was there made it any better."
"What are you saying?" he gave a weird look like he knew what she meant but wasn't all that sure.
"Animals can sense fear of its handlers and riders," she said as she pet Minty's muzzle, "it bothers them when you're afraid. That's probably why Minty started to get all goofy."
"I can't help that they scare me." he said as they both started to help Bombur with dinner.
Sam nodded, " I know but just give them poor creatures a chance, they are not all that bad."
Bilbo sighed but agreed with Sam, "I guess I'll try."
Sam perked that she was getting him to agreed with her, It might help in getting him to talk. "So Jackie said you were kind enough to let her stay with you before the dwarves came."
Bilbo blushed a deep red, "Y-Yes! I didn't want her wandering by herself."
Sam smiled happily, "I'm glad!"
"But I feel that maybe she didn't appreciate it." he sighed, "She hasn't said thank you yet."
"She probably did." Sam said, Jackie was always the one to be polite before Sam and Zee. "She talks rather softly so maybe you never heard her."
"Really?" he brightened up rather quick.
Sam, seeing this reaction, plotted a rather evil idea, "I'll ask her just to be sure but I must say, you really are fond of Jackie huh?"
"W-What?" he blushed again, "W-What do you-?"
"Oh, calm down Bilbo." she laughed, "I just meant that you seem to like her a bit."
"W-Well she's r-rather kind yes..."
"She's a super good friend but she's really quiet." Sam could have just dropped the subject but being suggestive was too much fun. Too bad Zee wasn't here.
"I im-imagine so." he looked down at the ground, "She had said something about being too young to marry when Fili and Kili came to my house..."
"Well yeah, she's only seventeen."
"That is still very young!" he exclaimed in shock, "And you and Zee?"
"I'm seventeen too but Zee is sixteen." Sam didn't see anything wrong with their ages but then she remembered that people of middle-earth just might.
"The three of you should not be on such a dangerous journey." Bilbo said in a hushed voice, "After all, you have so much to live for and this could take it all away."
Sam shook her head, "Where we're from, we're almost adults so no, we don't care. Besides, we want to be on this adventure!"
"Does Jackie?" he asked.
"She tags along with the stupid things Zee and I do so not really." Sam probably could have lied but if what she thinks is true he'd probably ask her and then she'd say no. "But she'll thank us later, I'm sure of it!"
"I feel you are far too confident." Bilbo told her, "Why are you so sure?"
"I told you," Sam hated to repeat herself but she held her tongue, not until they get better acquainted, "if you don't believe you'll never succeed."
Bilbo gave her a funny look but said nothing more about her weird beliefs. He wasn't so sure he could believe her but maybe she was on to something. Maybe, just maybe.
That night, Sam, Zee, and Jackie slept near the fire as Fili and Kili kept watch. Of course, with Sam being a bit of an insomniac, she decided to spend her time talking to the brothers.
"Why are you so interested in learning our street talk?" Sam asked them quietly, "I mean, surely you guys have your own slang don't you?"
"We want to understand you." Kili said, he didn't exactly want to sell Fili down the river yet and nor did he want Zee to do so.
"Okay but I don't get why." she continued, "In fact, I thought maybe Thorin wouldn't approve."
"He understands you more than we all do." Fili argued, "He told us a bit but even he wasn't all that sure."
"Well," Since Thorin told them, she figured it didn't exactly count and she didn't want them to use certain sayings wrong. "what did he tell you?"
"He said that blast meant having a good time." Fili said after a moment of thinking, "He said that when you use the word crap it's not meaning an actual crap, same with shit."
"He said it was an expression." Kili added, "Are those correct?"
Sam nodded, "Yeah it is."
"So now we know three." Fili said, "But there's more."
"It's not that hard to figure out." Sam said, she was still laying down as he spot was surprisingly comfortable. "You just have to think about it."
Just then, Bilbo got up from being unable to sleep and went to feed one of the ponies. Sam had suggested that when Bilbo asked her, as a way to change the subject from Jackie, what to do to gain the animals' friendship. However, a loud and shrilling shriek sounded from the land below, killing his moment with the animals.
"What was that?" he asked, looking around rather panicky.
Sam looked at the brothers, immediately noticing that they were going to pick on the poor hobbit. "Oh no."
"Orcs." Kili said lowly, like he was afraid to speak loudly because it would attract attention. "They creep into camps in the middle of the night, no noise just lots of blood."
Bilbo really started to worry but then Sam decided to break the tensions. "And if any blood is coming around here it'll be from me hitting you!" she glared at the brothers, "One more horror story out of you two and they'll be the least of your worries."
The two nodded with wide eyes, truly their mother's temper wasn't one to mess with and they dare not tempt Sam's. They saw Thorin get a pan in the face when their mother got mad, they didn't want the same with the mortal girl.
"You have a fierce temper lass." Balin noted aloud, "Already they fear you."
Sam looked at Balin, then at the brothers and shrugged, "I don't like to hear what could happen in the night okay, that bugs me so much."
Balin gave a chuckle, "Aye lass, I can see that."
"But I agree with her." Thorin said, "Do you think an orc raid is a joke?"
Fili and Kili lowered their head, "We didn't mean anything by it."
"Of course not." Thorin scolded them, Sam even felt cold even though he was agreeing with her. "You know nothing of the world."
Sam spared the brothers a glance, they seemed genuinely ashamed of themselves for their joke. She knew how they felt but that didn't mean it was okay to make those jokes..
"Don't take it to heart laddie, Thorin has more reason to hate orcs than anyone here." Balin said as Thorin headed to the edge of the cliff.
Gah! The story of how Thorin got the name Oakenshield! Sam said to herself, she knew right here would be where Balin would retell Thorin's battle with Azog the Defiler. Glancing at the still sleeping Zee and Jackie, Sam was stuck between waking them or letting them sleep through this.
However, Balin had already begun the story, telling about how they went to Moria to claim it. Only they hadn't anticipated the orcs who lived there. Sam wasn't sure what to do so she chose to just lay there and listen to the story. Hearing it in real life was far more touching than in a movie theater or on a television.
When Balin ended his story, all the dwarves were awake and standing. Then, of course, Zee awoke and was mumbling like an idiot.
"What's going on?" she grumbled loudly, "Why's everyone standing? Why are we all looking at Thorin," She groaned as she stretched, "I mean, I know he's beautiful in the moonlight but to keep that up Thorin, you need some sleep. You might want to catch winks to keep that up if you wanna stay all glistening...and cute...Is it morning...?" then she just fell back to sleep.
Sam blushed at her idiotic friend's sleepy rambling, she was going to chew Zee a new ass for this awkward moment.
"Cute?" Thorin said in a combination of disbelief and borderline offense, "Did she just call me...cute?"
"Uh..." she looked around, a few of the dwarves were amused with the little show. "Nooo...she says random crap when she's half asleep...so don't mind her. Don't mind her at all!" Of course, leave it to Thorin's bloody nephews to keep it going.
"But Uncle," Fili said with an grin, "it's so true! You look so dashing in the moonlight!"
"And it's not like you can help it!" Kili continued for his brother, "It does run in the family!"
Thorin's infuriated glare didn't stop the jokes, Fili and Kili continued on about how good looks run in the family, ending with them in particular. They did stop when Thorin threatened to cut their servings for a week. That didn't save his pride though.
Zee awoke to a swift kick in the butt from Sam, Sam would not let Zee forget what she made her go through last night.
"You bitch!" Sam hissed at the grumbling girl, "I cannot believe you called Thorin cute!"
"What are you talking about?" Zee mumbled as she stretched, "I never-"
"Last night after Balin finished telling us about how Thorin got the name Oakenshield!" Sam growled when none of the dwarves were near by, "You woke up and said Thorin needed sleep to stay beautiful and cute!"
"Zee?" Jackie giggled a bit, "Did you really?"
Zee stopped and thought about that, then her eyes widened just a bit. "I may have a slight recollection of this event."
"Well I remember the whole damn thing!" Sam did some embarrassing things in her life but she knew better than to ever call Thorin cute. Damaging a dwarf's pride was not and never will be on her To Do List!
"It couldn't have been that bad..."
Sure enough, here came Fili and Kili with wide grins one their face. "There's the sleep-talker!"
Zee blushed a bit, "Uh..."
Jackie looked at Zee and gave her a short laugh, "Yeah, it was bad."
"Did you forget?" Kili grinned, "How did she say it Fili?"
"I know he's beautiful in the moonlight but to keep that up Thorin, you need some sleep. You might want to catch winks to keep that up if you wanna stay all glistening and cute." The blond mocked in an imitation of Zee's voice.
Jackie laughed so hard that she almost fell to the ground, she was hugging her ribs and turning red (which is amazing considering her brown skin normally makes it hard to tell.).
"Oh shut up!" Zee blushed, "It's not like I really meant anything by it!"
"Of course you didn't." they teased her for a moment more before Thorin said it was time to leave.
"Are you riding with me again?" Fili asked Sam, secretly he wanted her to say yes but she had the right to choose.
"Yeah why not?" Sam smiled as she approached his pony, "Unless you would rather I go with someone else."
"Of course not." He smiled, "I would be honored to let you ride with me."
Zee watched in confusion, at a distance of course, as her best friend was being flirted with. Sam had to know that he liked her, she couldn't be that dense. Could she?
"Uh Zee?" Kili waved his hand in front of Zee's face, "Zee, are you okay?"
"Huh?" That was just proof Zee wasn't paying any attention whatsoever. "When'd you get here?"
"I've been here a while." he sighed, "Now can we go?"
"Huh?" Zee hadn't noticed that everything was all packed and that everyone was hopping on their horses. "Oh!"
"I swear.." Kili grumbled as he and Zee mounted their pony.
"Oh shush!" Zee snapped, "I only had a squirrel moment."
"A what?" these girls were so confusing, Sam said it was easy to cypher what they were saying.
"Okay," she said, "A squirrel moment is when someone blanks out or gets distracted by something while doing something. Got it?"
"I don't understand why you can't talk like normal people." Kili sighed again with a shake of his head.
"Normal people?" Zee asked, "Why should we be normal? Do normal people have fun?"
"Just stop it Zee!" Sam called back to Zee, "I'd like to not make them brain dead so early, we still got a mountain to conquer!"
"But he said we need to be normal!" Zee complained, "I don't wanna be normal!"
"You can't even be normal!" Jackie called back while she was riding , "You'd probably burn!"
A chorus of of hoots and laughs sounded from all the dwarves and Gandalf, even Bilbo couldn't help but laugh at the joke. Zee, on the other hand, was nowhere amused and grumbled on about how heartless these people were to her.
"If you didn't want a smart remark," Sam laughed, "then you shouldn't have said anything!"
Just then, to follow Zee's sour mood, the dwarves and girls felt water drop on them. Not long after that, it started to down right pour on everyone.
"I know this started because of you Zenin!" Sam barked to her friend as her clothes became immediately soaked.
"I did nothing!" Zee shot back. "Do not accuse me of shit I haven't even done!"
"Sure."
"Here Mr. Gandalf," Dori called to the wizard, "can't you do something about this deluge?"
"It is raining master dwarf!" Gandalf replied, "And it will continue to rain until the rain is done!"
Sam and Zee almost giggled as they both thought about how Dori just got told by Gandalf. It was probably mean, after all everyone expects wizards to be able to do things like control the weather.
"If you wish to change the weather, you should find yourself another wizard."
There was the briefest moments of silence before Bilbo asked, "Are there any others?"
"What?" Gandalf asked.
"He asked if there were any other wizards." Jackie said as Bofur's pony suddenly sped up to follow Bilbo's.
"There are five of us." Gandalf answered, "There's Saruman The White, he's the leader of our order. Then there are two blue wizards. You know, I've forgotten their names."
"And the fifth?" Bilbo asked.
"That would be Radagast The Brown." he answered.
"Is he a great wizard?" Bilbo asked, "Or is he more like you?"
Sam nibbled her lip out of embarrassment, even though she did nothing it always bothered her when someone else says something wrong like Bilbo did. She knew he didn't mean to sound rude but it came out that way.
"I think he's a great wizard, in his own way." he said while not masking his offense, "He's a gentle soul who prefers the company of animals to Men. He keeps a watchful eye over the forests of the East and a good thing too; for evil will always try to get a foothold in the world."
Sam didn't like the sound of that, neither did Zee. Both knew that there was evil already at work, the evil known as the Dark Lord Sauron. How could they warn Gandalf without giving away their secret? How could they warn them of Azog still being alive and being a general for the Dark lord? How?
"You seem so cold Sam." Fili noted, "You were fine until Gandalf mentioned this Brown wizard."
"Yeah well," Sam said, "I guess the rain finally got to me."
"Really?" he asked, he didn't believe her. Actually, most of what she's told him of the life the three once held he did not believe. She was hiding something and he just knew it.
"Yeah, I like rain when I'm inside but when I'm like this, I hate it."
Fili laughed, all the dwarves hated rain when they were not near their homes, where nice, hot stew awaited them. "I agreed, the elements are not that pleasing right now."
"Where I am from," Sam said softly so no one else would hear, "little kids would sing a song to ward away the rain. It doesn't work but it's fun."
"Oh?" he asked, "Will you sing it?"
"I'm not one to sing." Sam blushed madly, she blamed on the cold and not that the dwarf prince asked her, the most horrible singer known to mankind, to sing.
"I doubt it's much of a song." he teased, he was curious to hear this little song. "Please?"
Sam sighed and gave in, "Fine..."
Fili grinned in triumph and patiently waited for her to start. "Anytime you're ready."
"Okay." Sam took in a deep breath and started, "Rain, rain go away. Come again another day. Daddy wants to play. Rain, rain go away, come again another day. Mommy wants to play."
"It's cute." Fili smiled, "Still not that big of a song."
"There's another one. " Sam added, "It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is snoring. He jumped out of bed and bumped his head and he couldn't get up in the morning."
"That's better!" Fili laughed, only to stop and realized that the rain was letting up. "It seems your song works after all, the rain is thinning."
"Yay!" Sam grinned, "I'm magical!"
I AM TOO MAGICAL! Don't you dare argue with me TurnerzNikes! On a side note: I have a cold Hot Cocoa! Okay the chocolate is getting to me. Bye! ~Michelle Lacie Kat