The Manic Adventure Of Sam, Zee, and Jackie

Chapter 8: Meet Arwen

After Zee's little fit, Sam and Jackie left her in the care of an elf healer. They were warned that Elvish wine wasn't particularly good for mortals like them so it was highly recommended that they give her a quick check up.

"Their gardens are so beautiful," Jackie said as she observed some of the flowers, "I don't think I've seen flowers this colorful before."

"No kidding." Sam agreed, "I'm starting to get a headache from looking at them too long."

Jackie laughed and the duo decided to take a seat on a marble bench. Where they sat they were in perfect view of the halls so if anyone was looking form them, they could be found.

"I kinda miss home." Sam said suddenly, "I miss my family."

"I do too." Jackie agreed, "Although I think mine's more of my home's a familiar place."

"Yeah huh?" Sam laughed a bit, "Your mom and dad must freaking out because you're not there for them."

Jackie shrugged, she'd prefer not to talk about that. "Do you think Zee misses her mom?"

"More than likely." Sam sighed, leaning back a bit, "She sure as hell don't miss Ica or her brother though."

Jackie laughed, "That's a given."

Sam and Jackie both laughed at their memories of how Zee would complain about her older brother and his girlfriend. It was sometimes sad to hear how utterly whipped her brother was but mostly, it was the best entertainment second to Sam's family adventures.

"Oh!" Bilbo's head popped up around a corner, "Sam, Jackie."

"Hi Bilbo!" They both smiled and waved at the hobbit.

"Exploring huh?" Sam asked, she knew Bilbo was always fascinated with elves since he was a wee lad.

Bilbo nodded, "I love it, it's more beautiful than the Shire."

"It is really pretty." Jackie agreed, "And peaceful."

Before Bilbo could agree with Jackie, they heard a rather loud shriek a distance away. "YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS! YOU'RE SKINNY DIPPING IN A FUCKING FOUNTAIN?! WHERE ANYONE CAN SEE YOU?!" They heard Zee scream again, presumably because the dwarves probably turned around and she saw more than she ever needed to see. "COVER YOUR PRIVATES YOU PIGS!"

"Was peaceful Jackie." Sam giggled, "Was, past tense."

"At least I'm not the only one scarred by that." Bilbo blushed, "I saw Thor-them last night."

Sam, catching Bilbo's little slip, laughed, "I caught them yesterday, so did Lord Elrond and Lindir." Sam turned to Jackie and nudged her arm, "Go make sure Zee doesn't tried to find a way to unsee that, we don't need another episode so soon."

"You staying?" Jackie asked.

"Yeah, I've been meaning to talk to Bilbo anyways."

Jackie nodded and waved at them both before heading off to find Zee. It might not be too hard of a task but with Zee, one can't be too sure.

"So Bilbo," Sam smiled at him, "You saw Thorin naked last night?"

Bilbo immediately blushed, "I-I never-"

"Yes you did." Sam pointed on cheekily, "You said, and I quote, I saw Thor-them last night."

Bilbo's blush intensified even more, "I-I.."

"Dude relax." Sam laughed, "I support the rainbow side of life too." Sam always created happy or silly names for anything.

"The what?" Bilbo asked, Sam had totally forgotten that the sweet hobbit didn't know her street talk yet.

"Sorry." Sam laughed, "The rainbow side of life, that's what I call people who are interested in their own sex. You know, guy on guy or girl on girl."

"O-Oh." he lowered his head a bit.

"So then," Sam bent down a bit so she could be at Bilbo's eye level, "I'm assuming you're either into guys or Bisexual."

"Or what?"

Sam sighed, "Bisexual, it means you like both sexes."

"W-Well I-I.." Bilbo stuttered nervously, he looked around to see if anyone, namely Fili or Kili were around. "I-I don't think this is something to discuss out in public."

"Why?" Sam asked, she was so use to people being open about their sexuality that it made Bilbo's shyness a bit strange to her. "Oh! Do Hobbits not talk about this openly?"

"W-Well w-we do but-"

"Oh I get it!" Sam slapped her forehead, "You don't think Thorin would appreciate it huh?"

Bilbo's blushed intensified again, this time he put his head down and turned away, The poor hobbit looked so flustered and afraid.

"You told me you liked Jackie." Sam recalled, "Did you change to Thorin now? Is that why you're afraid to tell me?"

Bilbo said nothing, only nodded his head. Sam understood now, he was afraid she would be mad because he lost his affection for her friend.

"Oh you silly little hobbit." Sam giggled, "It's not like you and her were a thing and actually, I know all three of us approve your new interest."

"Really?" He raised his head a bit and smiled, "I suppose that's one relief."

"One?" Sam asked, "What do you mean?"

Bilbo turned his head away from her a bit and sighed, "I mean, what would Thorin want with a weak, little male hobbit."

"Bilbo..?"

"I can't fight, I don't know how to survive in the wild, I'm useless..."

"Bilbo don't say that." Sam said, pulling the hobbit into a hug, "You're not useless, you just need time to figure out your skill set. Trust me."

"I don't think Thorin would agree." Bilbo sounded so sad and heartbroken. "Not to mention Dwarves have Ones."

"Don't Hobbits have their own version of a soulmate?" Sam asked curiously.

"Of course." Bilbo nodded, "But I don't think even if I was Thorin's One would he want me."

"That's totally not true!" Sam argued, "A dwarf can't live without his One, if you were his One he would need you more than any of us."

"But that would be if I was his One." Bilbo reminded Sam, "And as far as we know, I'm not."

Sam let out a deep sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose, then she got an idea. "I could look into it if you want."

"W-What?" Bilbo's head abruptly shot up, "S-Sam I don't think that's-"

"I'm not gonna tell anyone anything Bilbo." Sam quickly told the hobbit, aside from Zee because she'll totally kill me if I don't. "I'm just going to casually ask Fili about Thorin's personality and whatnot, I'm not gonna mention your fancy of him."

"B-But!"

"Don't you wanna know?" Sam asked Bilbo sweetly, "C'mon, at least let me try. Please?"

Bilbo seemed conflicted with the idea but at the same time he was curious. Sam knew that she had to play his curiosity, mess with his Took side, to get what she wanted. "I-I suppose it would be nice to know..."

"I swear to not tell anyone!" Sam promised, "I'll fill you in on everything I find out."

"J-Just don't mention me please." Bilbo pleaded with her, "I won't be able to face the dwarves again."

"I swear." Sam grinned, crossing her heart. "Maybe I should leave you alone now, I probably tormented you enough for a day huh?"

Bilbo gave her a nervous chuckle, "I think so."

"Well then," Sam stood up and saluted Bilbo, "I'm off!"

Sam happily wander the elvish halls, searching for Fili and Kili so she could begin her digging. She knew none of the dwarves would be at the fountain, especially after Zee's screaming, so she tried the kitchen and training grounds.

"How is it," Sam mumbled irritably to herself, "when I don't need a dwarf they're always around but when I do need one I can't fucking find one?!"

"Oh!" A voice said from behind Sam, "You're one of the dwarves' mortal companions are you not?"

"Eek!" Sam jumped and hastily turned around to see who the voice belonged to. "Oh jeez!"

Standing behind Sam was a lady elf with long, dark brown hair wearing a cream colored dress that was designed just like Zee's blue dress but with longer sleeves.

"Forgive me," The elf smiled a bit at Sam, "I did not mean to startle you."

"It's okay." Sam nervously laughed, embarrassed for getting scared so easily, "I really wasn't expecting anyone to show up like that."

The elf nodded, "I happened to see you walking around and searching for your friends, for a moment I thought you were exploring like the hobbit."

"I would," Sam admitted, "but I wanted to see my friends again. Guess they don't want to see me."

"I believe after the other girl screamed at them they took to hiding from her." The elf told Sam, "I believe you passed a few dwarves without meaning to."

"I what?" Sam sighed, she threw up her hands in frustration. "Okay, I'm not wasting my time on them anymore."

The elf laughed at Sam, "You are a strange one, but you should be careful about how you project your emotions."

"Huh?"

The elf lifted Sam's hand and said, "I feel your powers of fire and ice and the manipulation of elements tends to be more unpredictable than other magic."

"Oh.." Sam forgot about that, "That's another thing I need to do, I need figure out how to use this."

"I'm sure my father could find you a suitable tutor." The elf suggested, "After all, dwarves don't exactly specialize in magical powers."

Sam was confused there, "Can they not possess these types of powers?"

"I don't know." She admitted, "However, I have never heard of it."

Sam nodded her head, "I'll take that, by the way what's your name?"

"Oh!" The elf gasped, "Forgive me, my name is Arwen. Daughter of Lord Elrond."

Sam immediately blushed, "Uh, you're Elrond's daughter?" Sam was only in love with the Hobbit, Lord Of The Rings never totally caught her attention so she didn't recognize Arwen.

"I am." she nodded, "I am not fully trained to fight yet, my father does not truly approve of my learning, so we must find you a mentor."

Sam agreed with Arwen, still feeling intimidated by the royal elf. "My friends need training too, Gandalf said we all had gifts."

"Ah yes, I heard about that." Arwen chuckled while Sam blushed, Sam was surprised the elves would even discuss the events of the previous night. "Come, I will take you to my father and you can discuss training the three of you."

Sam happily followed Arwen, the dwarves, namely Thorin and Fili, were going to be angry with her but they had to admit that she and the girls would greatly need their help. The dwarves would not be able to teach the girls and Gandalf was gonna be in and out the rest of the time, what would be a better opportunity?

"If you don't mind my asking," Arwen asked out of nowhere, "I was wondering what three mortal girls were doing traveling with thirteen dwarves and a small hobbit."

"Well," Sam chewed her lip, "it's a complicated story but Gandalf convinced Thorin to let Zee and Jackie join his company."

"And you?" Arwen asked.

"Thorin found me before he came to Bilbo's house so he had already planned to take me with him." Sam explained, "He probably planned to have me replace Bilbo if Bilbo hadn't come along."

"I see." Arwen mused a minute then asked, "You're the one who is the young blond dwarf prince's consort aren't you?"

Sam immediately blushed, "I-I-We're actually courting right now."

"Courting?" Arwen asked softly, "But don't dwarves marry once they find their Ones?"

"Y-You know that?" Sam asked, dwarf traditions were secret because dwarves did not trust easily.

Arwen nodded, "That's one thing that's not all that secret, beside not all dwarves hate elves."

Sam was taken by surprised, "Really?" She thought they all hated elves, actually now that she thought about it Kili was the only one not totally bother by the elves. She recalled that Kili was suppose to fall in love with Tauriel.

"Well like you and the prince, dwarves' Ones are not always other dwarves." Arwen explained, "Some elves were the Ones of dwarves."

"Really?" Sam asked with a small giggle, "I wouldn't have thought."

"Neither would I but it has happened." Arwen smiled, "But you didn't answer my question."

"Ah, well you see," Sam blushed again, "I asked that we court because I didn't feel comfortable with just getting married when I only just met him a few weeks ago."

"I understand." Arwen smiled kindly.

Zee was chilling on her bed in her room when a loud knock came from her door, when she opened the door, thinking it was one of her friends, she found Fili instead.

"Fili?" Zee asked, confused as to why the blond dwarf would be knocking at her door, "Whatcha want?"

Fili seemed a bit nervous and embarrassed, "I hate to admit this but I may need assistance with Sam."

"Assistance?"

Fili took in a deep breath, "Sam and I decided to court as she felt it was best, I don't know how your people court."

Zee, still confused but just rolling with it, stepped aside, "Come into my office dear boy." She extended her hand toward her room and bowed, which annoyed Fili just a bit.

Fili entered the room and sat in a chair that was next to a large vanity while Zee plopped herself onto the queen sized bed. He found that he was partially regretting coming to Zee for help but she was the only person who truly knew Sam since they were 'best friends' as they put it.

"So what are dwarf courting traditions?" Zee asked curiously, "I know all that's secret but it might help me out with this."

"Well," Fili didn't want to really tell Zee since it would go against their laws but she knew dwarves didn't share these things so he hoped she wouldn't tell anyone. "we don't exactly court, we leave a sign on each other to show that we are getting ready for marriage since marriages are rare."

"Okay." Zee nodded, "What's the sign?"

"A braid in our hair with the clasp of our clan." Fili reached into his pocket and showed Zee the clasp he was saving for Sam.

"Mhm." Zee hummed, "Okay, what you can do, because I truly doubt that's gonna hold up during our whole journey, is spend time with her while we're here and maybe while we're on the road if you can."

"What?" Fili asked, "How might that help?"

"You'll get to know her better," Zee told him, she gave him a look that said he was an idiot, "that's one thing she probably freaked out over was that you two had just met and now wedding bells are ringing."

"Wedding bells?" Fili didn't understand her one bit.

"It's a metaphor." Zee sighed, "Either way, I'm sure that's what she wants."

"But I don't know how to really-"

"Just. Talk. To. Her!" Zee spoke slowly to him, she felt like she was having to baby the guy. "Just. Do. It."

Fili felt like he was being scolded, thankfully not by his mother though it sorta felt like it. "About what? I know nothing about your lifestyles."

"Asked her about her family." Zee offered, "She has some funny stories to tell there and maybe tell her about your life, that's a surefire way to get somewhere."

"About my life? As in my childhood?" Fili wasn't too sure that was as great of an idea as she made it sound but it couldn't be too bad, "I suppose but will that really be all I need to do?"

Zee thought about that, Sam wasn't going to like a gift at the current time since she'll probably lose it. "Well, give her the braid once you guys get closer but that's all you can do until we conquer Erebor."

"I see..." Fili sighed, "Is that really what your people do?"

"Eh," Zee shrugged, "we don't court, we date and then get engaged."

"Date?" Fili asked, Sam had mentioned that last night when she explained.

"It's kind of like courting." Zee explained, "But it's like testing the waters with someone, see if they are the one you want to commit yourself to and then you get engaged if you want to be with that person."

"I see." Fili didn't know about the engagement part and it sounded awfully intriguing to him. "How would people get engaged?"

"Usually the guy would buy his girlfriend a wedding ring, which is just a a gold ring with diamonds on it, and he will do something special for her then he gets down on one knee and asks, 'Will you marry me?'."

Fili took that into consideration, "By special?"

"Um," Zee thought about that, "taking her to dinner is a usual way but since Sam is Sam and she's very shy something more family related. Like a small party or something."

"I see." Fili carefully filed away his mental notes of Zee's little lesson and stood up from his seat. "I must ask that you not inform Sam about this, or anyone, asking for advice or help isn't something that dwarves do."

Zee smiled and nodded, "Okay fine but it is gonna cost ya."

"Cost me?" Fili didn't understand, "And what would this price be?"

Zee thought about that for a good long minute before smugly stating, "I want to have full participation in the wedding and also, I was promised by Sam that I could name her first son."

"What?!" Fili was a bit outraged, "Why was that arrangement made and when?"

"We agreed on that a long time ago and she also figured she wouldn't mind letting me have that honor." Zee grinned, "Don't worry, I won't give him a stupid name."

Fili groaned and rolled his eyes, "I feel you will be the death of me yet." He took his leave but not before adding, "And now I understand why Kili was saying that you were giving him grey hairs."

"Hey!" Zee wasn't offended by the comment until she realized what he was implying, "I am so not annoying!"

"Sure you're not." Fili rolled his eyes at her statement.

"Hey," Zee huffed, pointing a finger at him, "I'm going to be your sister-in-law one day, check yourself before you wreck yourself senor."

Fili shook his head and left the room, Zee promised herself she wouldn't forget that comment. She would save that for blackmailing purposes later.

Just as she was about to settle down again, another knock came from her door. "Who might this be now?" she groaned as she pushed herself off her bed.

The door opened without Zee's help, revealing Sam and Arwen in her door way.

"Hey Zee!" Sam grinned, "Guess what missy, we got training to do!"

"Huh?!" Zee groaned, "Why?"

"You need to master you gifts as soon as possible." Arwen smiled at Zee, Zee had to rub her eyes for a minute then saw that she wasn't imagining the elf.

"You're Princess Arwen..." Zee said out loud.

"Yes." Arwen gave Zenin a funny look, "But how do you know that?"

"Uh..." Zee stalled, "I overheard some-your-uh-Lindir mentioned you. Uh, yeah." Zee awkwardly looked around with wide eyes.

Sam sighed and shook her head, "C'mon Zee, we got a lot of work to do and we're only gonna be here a week."

"A week?" Zee asked as she hurried over to the duo, "How do you know that."

"It'll be a week until my father can read that map the dwarves brought." Arwen answered for Sam, "And also, the sooner the better."

Zee sighed, "Can't argue with that."

Sam rolled her eyes and, when Arwen wasn't looking, bumped Zee's shoulder. "Seriously Zee? Seriously?"

"Oh whatever!" Zee shook her head, "And I'm still hungover okay?"

"You're the girl who over-consumed our wine!" Arwen laughed, "I heard about you."

Zee blushed and glared at Sam, "You told her?!"

Sam laughed and shook her head, "No, the elves gossiped about you and that's how she found out." Sam continued to walk, both leaving Zee behind a little bit.

"Oh come on!" Zee kicked the ground and hurried after Sam and Arwen to wherever they were going now. "Can't I get a damn break!"

"Of course not!" Sam called back to Zee, "And I doubt that will ever happen."

"Gah!" Zee groaned, following her friend, "My life sucks!"

Arwen, truly amused with the girls, laughed at them both, "You both are strange girls, no wonder the other elves were horrified with your behavior."

"I made myself a great reputation here didn't I?" Zee sarcastically asked herself.

So we are gonna get training! Yay! Hopefully nothing bad happens of any sort.