About 20 minutes after the first Klingon had first grabbed T'liz the bar was in shambles. Even more people lay on the floor than were in the bar when the fight started. Not a single person had come out of the bar without some kind of injury, but in a testament to the egos of the people there, no one had thought to call for medical attention until 3 minutes after the last fighter had slumped on the floor in exhaustion, and no one bothered to call the police. Once the bartender had finished his call to the closest starfleet medic, he began to clean up, which most involved using a hose on the floor and any partons unluckily enough to be in it's way. Talla and T'liz were stuck in a heap next to the door of the bar, having falling down the last, they chose their spot to fall as far away from the hose-wielding bartender as possible. At the front of the bar they were also the first to be noticed by Starfleet medics when they walked in.
The chief medical officer was Commander Bronx. He was a slightly older white male, who had lived through the Romulan war like Captain Nelson had, and upon seeing the carnage in front of him, stated his educated and succinct opinion very loudly. "Holy sh*t, the front lines weren't this bad, at least then we had an excuse, we were at war". He immediately began barking orders, "Alright, lets these lazy bums out front so we aren't in the way of our friend Guido that way he can wipe the floors of all of the drool, those who can walk, drag the ones who can't, and get them out front". He then grabbed Talla's arm, slung it around his shoulder and carried her to the front, repeating the procedure with T'liz. He then began checking their reflexes, pupil dilation and pulse, talking as he did so "Okay Ensign 'TAILA'"
"It's Talla"
"Alright Talla, what the hell happened in there?"
"A very burly Klingon pulled a knife on T'liz and we defended ourselves, other patrons joined in and it escalated from there"
"And you Ensign T'liz, do you have anything to add to her statement?"
"No sir"
Bronx was quiet for a second, then he said "You two are terrible liars".
"What!?"
"A word to the wise you two, don't answer interrogation questions when there is someone taking your pulse, now what else would you like to add to your story?"
With a look of bashful embarrassment, Talla sheepishly began to reply "I may have added a little insult to injury when T'liz was breaking his wrist..." she trailed off as Bronx looked at her sternly.
"And..."
"I may have compared his fighting abilities to a tribble, he tried to stab me in the back, I broke his face, and asked the rest of the bar of they 'wanted a piece of me'"
"And this was when the fight broke out?"
"Yes Commander"
"Don't call me a g**d*** commander, it makes me feel old, now that I heard almost the whole story, I'm gonna treat your wounds"
As he began to bandage the cuts on the women's faces, he kept quiet, until T'liz spoke up "Sir, what sort of a punishment do you believe we'll be facing?"
"That depends"
"On what?"
"Whether you will tell me your real ranks"
The women traded twin looks of confusion again when he spoke up a second time "I have worked in Starfleet for almost 20 years, and I have never met a pair of ensigns who have stood up this well to a commanding officer questioning them like this, add that to the fact that your pulses spiked every time I called you by your formal ranks, so I'm guessing you missing a few pips on your collar"
With a sigh, both pulled out extra pips, and put them on, marking them both as lieutenant commanders, which threw Bronx into a state of shock for 8 solid seconds, before he began to speak again. "At first I thought you were just lieutenants, and you had to answer to your section heads, now, since you are the section heads, you're going to have to deal with the captain"
"So what is your estimate of our punishment"
"Lets put it this way, targs at a Klingon feast have better odds..."
After T'Liz, Talla and everyone, (including the Klingons, who actually mumbled a slurred compliment to the Starfleet officers for their "fighting prowess of a Klingon") left, the two women got a call on their communicators asking them to meet with the captain. Trading twin looks of apprehension, they proceeded to the local transporter, as the devices were finally free after unloading the last of the cargo 10 minutes ago.
After getting on the station, they consulted a nearby ensign, and learned that the captain was in the ready room of the Excelsior, and proceeded there. When they walked through the doors they were faced with a stone-faced Captain Nelson.
He addressed them calmly and said "Do you know where we are?" The two looked at each other with twin looks of confusion.
"Sir?"
"We are on frontier space, the edge of civilization, the border of law and anarchy. We are going to be here for a long time, there are going to be very few allies out here, and there will be a lot of enemies. Long story short, we're on our own and we are the law and order out here. So when I hear about how my own officers managed to find the only Klingons in a light year and kick their a**es do you know what I do?"
"No sir"
"I think of 23 different ways to punish you for it, then laugh at the absurdity of it and move on without using any of them."
"Sorry sir, I must have heard you wrong, are you not punishing us"
"No, you didn't hear me incorrectly, I checked the security footage of the bar, that Klingon pulled a knife on you and I am never going to punish my officers for fighting back. We are a hell of a long way from home, and we aregoing to have to do things differently than what we would normally do on Earth. We'll loosen up a few rules, and tighten others. If we were on Earth, I would demote your sorry a**es back to ensign, but here there are going to be gray areas where we bend some rules. Now how much damage did you actually do to the poor man's establishment?"
The Vulcan spoke up, "Very little structural damage was done to the bar, it appears as though this has happened before so the owner reinforced certain areas for this sort of event"
"Good, now, this is pretty much normal here, so we won't get anyone suing us, and it seems like you guys actually might have improved our standings with the local populace, people on the surface are opening up more with us instead of treating us like legends. Also, since according to Guido everyone paid for their drinks beforehand, there was no harm done."
The two women snuck a look at each other, Talla with a smirk, T'Liz with a slight twitch of her lips in what was a slight imitation of one, while he finished. "Now I know that everyone needs to burn off some energy, and this is a fat lot better than Russian roulette or some other crazy-a** sh**..."
"Uh sir, what is Russian roulette?"
With a slightly sheepish grin Nelson replied "If you hadn't heard of it by now I won't tell you two, you would think it's nuts, hell, even humans think it's insane, anyway, there are far worst ways to spend your time. So, I will allow a few bar fights here and there, but there have to be a few ground rules. No weapons, if I see one phase, laser, or projectile anything within ten feet of a bar without a very good reason, I'm banning all Starfleet officers from going there. I also expect you to show good judgment, I don't want to see one yawn, complaint about a hangover, or oversleeping that will affect performance. Understood?"
"Yes sir" they both chimed.
"Now last of all, I'm putting you two in charge of Starfleet conduct on the surface"
"What?" Talla questioned.
"Apparently, you two know how to have a good time on the surface, so you two will be in charge of it. Also, you two set a precedent and you will atone for it. Now remember, as Harry S. Truman said, the buck stops here, or in this case, two feet in front of my desk, where you'll tell me any relevant news about the state of affairs on the planet concerning off and on duty Starfleet officers. Anything wrong, it's on your head, understood?"
"Understood." they chimed in unison.
"Good, now get ready, the briefing's in 20 minutes"
"Yes sir!"
As they walked out of his office, Talla turned to T'Liz and asked "Was it my imagination, or did he just give us a job for being in a bar fight?"
"It wasn't your imagination that appears to be the case"
"I am going to love working on this station"
"I believe I shall enjoy this as well".
As the two walked out of his office, Nelson smiled to himself. He was never going to punish the two, he had gotten into bar fights himself as a cadet and lieutenant, and found it a great way to relieve stress. He had also gotten a call from Guido asking him not to punish the Starfleet personnel because of the fight, as it was "a part of life" out here, and the Klingon's officers had started it and were merely blowing off some steam. As he walked to the briefing room, he was glad that he had a crew that knew how to blow off steam and relax, as he doubted that stiff necked purely professional military types would be taken kindly to here. As he pondered his thoughts, he walked with a steady gait to the briefing room to meet his new crew.
Author's Postscript: any and all reviews are appreciated, please leave your thoughts on the story