This was supposed to be a oneshot and I started to write this before the epic rewrite on today's episode. I love Maxie as a character, and Johnny and Nathan are my favorite ships for her! Here is an alternate version of the convo today in canon of this fanfic! Enjoy!

"As bad as it was, as bad as it hurt

I thank God I didn't get what I thought that I deserved"

Good in Goodbye, Carrie Underwood

Maxie turned over in her bed reaching out to cuddle closer to Nathan, only to find there was no one there, for the millionth time that night. She had gotten so used to falling asleep with him next to her that now she was cursing herself for kicking him out of the apartment.

It was for their own good, she told him, she reassured herself. Taking all the pressure of having to cohabitate as a couple, and allowing them time to slow down. Because at the breakneck pace they were going, Maxie knew she was liable to do something awful to slow it all down.

It also gave them a safe distance, because she knew that eventually she was going mess it up, and she didn't want to have to deal with the pain of knowing he wasn't coming home, of finding his things when he left her.

"I've always thought you were a great person."

Johnny's words from earlier seemed to echo in her head, and Maxie was reminded of another reason why she could be glad about her distance from Nathan. Her guilt.

Not that talking to Johnny was wrong, not that she did anything wrong, but she realized that there was so much stuff about her that Nathan didn't know about, things that a criminal record didn't report. Hearing Johnny call her great person was different because she knew about her being a messy, vindictive person. Johnny was a criminal, so her behavior made sense to him. Nathan was so good, that he was just sympathetic to some of her failures.

But would he be sympathetic if he knew about Lucky?

Logan.

And of course Johnny.

"I think you'll cross those bridges when they happen." Lulu had told her as they ate lunch that afternoon.

She never wanted to get to the bridge in the first place. She didn't need Elizabeth letting it slip she'd been her husband's drug supplier and she used her body to control him. She didn't need Scott Baldwin bringing up his distaste for how she ruined his son's life.

He knew about the drama with Georgie and lived through the drama of Levi. She didn't want him to blind sighted.

"Why didn't you tell me that you met Johnny?" she asked innocently the next day as they sat at Kelly's. She had to smile, as he looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "I'm not mad. I'm just curious."

"With your mother's election and everything I had kind of forgotten."

"You're a terrible liar." Maxie admonished jokingly, "How did you forget that you threatened someone that you just met."

"For the record he said things that pushed me."

That got Maxie interested, "Oh really? Like what?"

Nathan seemed to ponder if he wanted to tell her. "I'm not sure if you're going to like it."

"What did he say? Johnny told me that he-"

"He what? You saw Johnny?" Nathan got animated leaning over the table.

Maxie sighed, "Nothing, I just ran into him at the Haunted Star, I was waiting for Lulu."

Damn it, there she was covering something up that didn't need to be covered. "Lulu actually told me about what happened with Johnny, when I ran into him, he told me that you warned him away from me."

"I did," Nathan paused, "But it was only because he said that he meant more to you than me."

Maxie nodded her head from side to side, "That sounds like Johnny. But that's also very different from what he told me."

"What did he tell you?"

"He told me that it was nothing, but I'm not surprised that he took it there..." Maxie looked down for a second, "Johnny and I have a past, of sorts."

"And that means?"

Maxie fiddled her straw. "When Johnny first came to Port Charles, I was not the nicest person. I hated Lulu, despised her. I had recently destroyed her life by getting her boyfriend to cheat on her with me."

"Dante told me about a Logan Hayes, I couldn't imagine you an Lulu hating each other."

"Well, you didn't know me then."

Nathan grabbed her hand, and her heart swooned. "You don't have to tell me about your past, I know you don't like it."

She looked at him and smiled, "No, I owe it to you."

"It won't change how I feel, because I know you now and that's-"

"Please, let me." Nathan nodded, and Maxie continued, "Lulu hated me for good reason. My boyfriend Jesse, was Lucky's, Lulu's brother, partner."

"The cop, who passed, Jesse."

"Yes, and I had this childhood crush on Lucky, it was so stupid. But when he got hurt and with Jesse gone, we kind of turned to each other. But Lucky had problems. And my young stupid, obsessed, self wanted to help him."

"I don't see the problem."

"You know my glorious career as a volunteer at the hospital? Well, I used my position to steal painkillers, the ones Lucky was an addict too. Then we started an affair and I ruined his already struggling marriage to Elizabeth. "

"You were young, Lucky should've stopped it before things escalated."

"No, he did. And that's when things escalated, and it made Lulu hate me. And since Lulu's abortion broke up my sister's marriage, I hated her too." Maxie sighed. "I wanted to make her pay."

"What did you do?"

"I eventually started dating this guy Coop, but Logan, his best friend, was very…persistent. With Lulu getting cozy with Coop I had to stop it. I told Logan that if he slept with Lulu, I'd…." She cleared her throat, "Sleep with him."

"Wow."

"Yeah you can't really make excuses for that one. Lulu was devastated when she found out, and that's how she ended up with Johnny."

"Dante told me that Lulu" Nathan dropped his voice to a whisper, "…that Lulu killed Logan."

Maxie nodded. "And sometimes I blame myself for it. If I wasn't so hell bent on ruining Lulu's life, she could've been with Logan and that relationship could've ended on it's own, and she would've never ran between Johnny and Logan."

Nathan squeezed her hand; "You can't blame yourself for that. Logan sounds like someone who had his own issues."

"You have no idea. I guess the bright side of the story is that after the drama with Lulu, we became friends. The year of Logan's death was when we moved in together." Maxie said reminiscing of the adventures of her early friendship with Lulu.

"You still didn't explain how this has anything to do with Johnny and your past with him." Nathan said inquisitively. "Did you date Johnny too?"

"No. The other stuff sets the stage for Johnny's history with me. At first he was just another way to make Lulu squirm. I wanted him for myself. But Johnny, ever the gentlemen, turned me down."

"He's definitely not a gentlemen, and he's pretty stupid if he turned you down." Nathan flashed her one of those smiles that melted her and she felt her heart patter even more.

He was perfect.

"Johnny and I almost got in car accident, during a snowstorm. While we tried to wait out the storm, we almost hooked up, but we stopped because I realized it would crush to very good people."

"Spinelli and Lulu."

"Yes, from then on it was like the universe was trying to force us together. Johnny worked as my escort for Crimson events, much to Lulu's dislike." Maxie shook her head. "The problem with me and Johnny was that there was an attraction, something that couldn't be solved because it would kill everyone around us."

"So things just fizzled out?" Nathan asked looking at her with detective eyes. "That all seems very harmless to me."

The little blonde nodded, "When Lulu and Johnny broke up, he told her it was because of me, but it was the mob. It had nothing to do with me. And even though I had so many chances, I could never follow through on it. I wasn't able to bring myself to hurt Spinelli."

"That doesn't sound like the self-destructive mess that you like to make yourself out to be."

Maxie laughed, "Oh no, Nathan that may have been one of my better choices in life, but it didn't mean I didn't mess up in other areas of my life. But you know that."

"And now I know about you and Johnny and I feel so bad for being so possessive."

"Well you already know that I enjoy that side of you!" Maxie dropped her voice down an octave. "But you don't have to worry about Johnny, I told him that we were just friends, and I practically went on a full fan girl rant about how important and special you are."

"Go on," He said leaning in waiting for her to list his best traits.

"And stroke your ego, I don't think so." She joked.

They sat in a comfortable silence, speaking with their romantic stares.

"You're the only person I want to be with. "

There were still details about her from him to learn, but she had told him about the worst part of her life and was still sitting there looking like she was flawless. Who needed mobsters or exes when you had perfection sitting in front of you?

Because for the first time Maxie Jones had guilt free happiness, and that meant everything.