HELL HATH NO WRATH: A TRUE STORY
"Girl, he's cheating on you." Rosalie had warned.
"Bella…there's just something not right with that boy." My dad had speculated.
And I countered with every gullible, innocent, naive response that ever existed.
"It's not like that."
"You just don't know him."
"I think it's sweet that he dedicates a couple of hours every night to have dinner with his mother. They're not very close and he just wants to bond with her."
"It's just game night with the guys. Didn't you tell me it's important for couples to maintain separate interests?"
I was understanding of his unemployment; wasn't the news reporting how bleak the job market was?
It made sense that I had to drive everywhere – with no income, how could he afford gas or maintenance for his car? And of course, I never once complained about paying for dinner, or video games, or the movies, or any of the other places we went or things we did. Why should I when I knew he would do the same for me if he could?
And of course, I never once considered complaining about being intimate. It wasn't his fault! How terrible is it to be an insulin dependent diabetic? To know that the disease is affecting your blood flow to the point that you can't maintain an erection…let alone even establish one. It took all of his concentration to achieve orgasm, so once we became intimate, I never bothered to interrupt him by asking that he pleasure me and I knew better than to ever expect penetration from him. Instead, I bought him toys to satisfy his desire for anal penetration. I talked dirty to him; verbally painting pictures of the fantasy he had to be with me and another girl at the same time. And I touched him in all the ways he asked me to be touched.
I admit that – after a while – I came to think of him as some sort of combination lock. There were times when his instructions were so complex and confusing that it reminded me of patting my head, rubbing my belly, chewing bubble gum and reciting Macbeth at the same time.
But I never told him that. I had never felt sexy or desired before and, truth be told, it was just nice to be wanted…to know that I could turn him on. It gave me this rush of power to watch him climax, to know that I was the one responsible for it.
Despite all of this, I had to admit that there were a couple of little things that upset me. I didn't like the way he insisted that I keep hand sanitizer in my purse for him, or the way he would admonish me when I forgot to replace a bottle that he had already finished. I did wish that we could play more of the games I wanted to play whenever we went to the arcade and, I didn't think it was too much to ask that my boyfriend might want to win a big stuffed teddy bear for me. It was such a simple thing, but it reminded me of all the romantic movies when a girl gets to carry the prize her boyfriend won for her.
Instead, James hoarded the tickets in the hopes that he might one day earn himself an X-Box. He never once offered or asked, simply assumed that they were all his for the taking.
Then there was the fact that – for four months – he had evaded meeting my family or friends. This probably bothered me the most but, I tried to see it from his perspective and assumed he was probably embarrassed and just wanted to wait till he had found another job.
But, in the long run, they were minute issues and I was sure that every girlfriend had at least one or two things about her boyfriend that drove her crazy, so it was easy enough to overlook.
I could see why Charlie and the girls were suspicious. They were terrific people – but they often had a hard time seeing the positive that I saw in people. They were more suspicious; quicker to assume the worst. Although I could see why they had developed these traits, I wholeheartedly refused to let life's experiences make me jaded. Being an optimist was one of the qualities I most loved about myself, and I wasn't about to let that change.
But even an optimist would get suspicious at the phone calls he was suddenly ignoring when we were together, or the text messages he would giggle at, then hide.
He said they were from his mother, but I couldn't believe it…his mother was simply not that overbearing or funny.
And so, I felt a little tiny crack develop in my effervescent positivity…a little crack of doubt that I could no longer ignore.
~X~X~X~
Her name was Tonya, and she was everything he told me he found attractive in a girl.
She was an old friend back from my days in Phoenix, and she looked absolutely nothing like me.
We had lost touch ages ago, but her Facebook pictures were still available, so I borrowed a couple for my alter ego to use on her dating profile.
Finding James's dating profile was easy; he had not disabled it or changed it at all in the four months since we met. I messaged him under the user name "Geek_Girl", and the two of "them" hit it off splendidly. Of course, it helped that I had learned a lot about his likes and dislikes while catering to his every want as his girlfriend.
James was ecstatic to find out that the beautiful "Tonya" loved RPG games, just like he did, and arguing with her that Marvel was better than DC Comics just seemed to turn him on.
"Tonya" typed very differently than I had in my messages. Whereas I had always worked to be well spoken and use proper grammar and punctuation, "Tonya" was more into shortcuts.
She often called him "QT"…shorthand for cutie.
He liked that.
Within a week, "Tonya" agreed to meet James at 7:00 – the time he had always made unavailable to me because it was reserved for bonding with his mother over dinner. They set the date for one week later at a Denny's that was "right around the corner" from "Tonya's" job.
They say that you should never incur the wrath of a good girl.
I don't know who "they" are….but they know what they're talking about.
My positivity had dwindled down to one very, very important thing; I was positive that James was going to regret the day he had ever cheated on me.
And I had seven days to see it through.
~X~X~X~
The Wednesday that James was supposed to finally meet Tonya, I took him on a lovely afternoon date.
It was important to me that I give him every chance to save himself before I dropped the hammer later that night.
Before I picked him up, I sent him a message from Tonya's account asking him if we were still going to meet when I got out of work. James confirmed and then kept me waiting in my car an extra ten minutes as he continued to flirt with her.
He received "Tonya's" last response as he sat down in my passenger seat.
He told me it was his mom, telling me "Hi".
Our first stop was our favorite arcade. I had always let him keep the plastic card that kept track of our tokens and tickets, but I had different plans for it.
"Oh, Babe? I'm coming to a kid's birthday party here this weekend. Want to come?"
Of course, his answer was no.
I pouted believably. "Okay, but I want to try to earn more tickets for your x-box. May I hold onto the card?" I asked on our way back out to my car. He agreed…but only for the weekend. He wanted it back on Monday to make sure I wouldn't lose his tickets.
Next, I treated him to dinner at the Outback and – when he requested the hand sanitizer, I surprised him with his very own bottle that he could keep in his pocket! I admit, it was a bit childish, but I repressed my smile as he squeezed the bottle of my spit onto his hand, rubbing it generously between his palms and around each and every finger. He used so much of it before and after lunch that he told me I'd have to buy him more soon.
That wasn't going to be a problem.
Our last stop for the day was back at his place, where I was expected to perform quietly enough in his bedroom that his mother wouldn't hear us across the hall.
Once he joined me in the bedroom, I postponed our intimacy by simply talking and cuddling.
"I think I might be falling for you." I whispered.
"Me too." He agreed.
I sat up, looking into his eyes intently. "No. I mean…like…I think I love you. I want us to be exclusively boyfriend and girlfriend." I challenged.
"I thought we have been exclusive." He replied, looking confused.
"Well, I wasn't sure. I went online to reread our old messages and I noticed you still have your dating profile up." I pouted.
"Oh. I just keep it up because I have a couple of friends on the dating site, but I don't use it." He lied. "Why…have you been seeing other people?" He asked, as if he was worried.
"No." I admitted. "But…if you wanted to see other people…you'd tell me, right?" He nodded. "So, you're really okay with it being just you and me?"
He nodded again and smiled.
I told him that his hands still smelled like the ribs he ate for lunch and asked him if he would go wash them before we became intimate. He thought it was strange but – being the germaphobe that he is, he didn't hesitate to comply. As he shut his bathroom door, I swiped the unopened Marvel t-shirt I had given him for his birthday and slipped it into my purse, thankful that oversized handbags were currently in fashion.
He'd never notice.
When he rejoined me in the room, I was filled with an anger and loathing unlike anything I had ever experienced. What I was about to do was incredibly out of character for me…and I was looking forward to each and every minute.
We kissed and touched and fondled…slowly working him up into a frenzy, but I refused to touch his limp cock or to tease his ass the way he had become accustomed to expect.
Instead, I asked him to go down on me. It was the first and only time I would make any requests of him in the span of our relationship…and I quickly came to realize I had not been missing anything.
He was so turned on that he didn't think twice about my request. In fact, he almost seemed turned on by my brazen desire. Yet, what he lacked in blood flow to his dick he also lacked in oral skill. He couldn't please a woman if his life depended on it.
Yet, I moaned and groaned and swiveled my hips as if I was getting the ride of my life. "Fuck me, James. Please! I want you so badly!" I begged.
I'll give him this much – the man tried. He limply rubbed up against my groin, his hips thrusting frantically as soft skin met mine with gentle taps.
"Pleeeease, James! Can't you fuck me? I need to feel you inside me!" I coaxed.
"I'm trying!" He sounded so close to tears as he huffed and puffed in my ear that I nearly broke into hysterics.
"Don't you want to fuck me, baby? Don't you want to give me that big, hard cock?" I teased.
"Yes, but I can't. I'm trying!" His voice was pure desperation and desire and need as I scraped my nails down his back.
That was sure to leave a mark.
"Baby, let's switch places." He suggested, tiring of the façade that he could properly make love to a woman. "I just can't, and I want you so bad. Please…play with my ass. Talk dirty to me. I need to cum." He pleaded.
I was purely wicked. I had no desire for anything but his frustration and embarrassment and luckily, I had run out the clock just the way I had intended to.
"Shit!" I cursed, jumping up from underneath him.
"What?!" His eyes were frantic saucers.
"It's 6:45. I have to go." I dashed around the room, collecting my clothes.
"What?!" He asked again, his voice an octave higher.
"It's almost seven. Thank God I saw the clock or you would have been late for dinner with your mom…" I explained, pulling on my panties.
"No, no, no, no, no." He stuttered. "It's okay. Come back to bed." He reached out for me, his fingers opening and closing like a toddler craving a cookie that was just out of reach.
"No. I know how important this is to you." I peeled my jeans on.
"Bella, it's okay. I can be late this once. I won't be long." He promised, strained. I slowly, seductively climbed back into bed as his face began to relax.
"Mmmm…you must really, really want me, don't you?" I teased, biting his lip.
"Yes." He moaned. "Want you." He was so breathless, he couldn't complete his sentences.
"Then this should be really fun when we finish on Monday." I smiled, standing back up to slip my bra into place.
His misery was sugar on my tongue.
He continued to beg and plead, but I reminded him that the clock was ticking dangerously close to seven o'clock…constantly teasing him with more before taking another step closer to my escape…dangling the carrot in front of the jackass, so to say.
He didn't walk me out. He was simply in too much pain.
I sped to the Denny's and parked my car around the back where he wouldn't see it. After a quick stop to the restroom to fix my make-up and make sure I looked decent, I found my place in a little booth that was hidden around the corner from the main entrance. It was perfect – he wouldn't be able to see me till it was absolutely too late.
I waited there…breathless…as "Tonya" messaged him to inform him that she was already there.
He wrote back, his words brief and to the point, to admit that he would be running a few minutes late.
I wonder why… I grinned devilishly.
His next message to Tonya came about ten minutes later. "Parking now. Where are you sititing?"
I gave him instructions and then waited silently…patiently…for the final step of my plan to come to fruition.
The look on his face when he first rounded the corner and saw me is simply beyond words. To say he was shocked is putting it lightly.
"Hi, Q.T." I punctuated each letter, the syllables like swords on my tongue, my voice saccharine sweet.
He picked his jaw up from the floor and managed a pained smile. "Hey baby!" He tried to sound happy, but his voice was too unnaturally high.
My glare turned hateful. "Sit down." I ordered harshly.
"I knew it was you…" He babbled, sliding into the booth across from me.
"Bullshit." I answered simply.
"I was so good to you. Gave you everything you asked for. You wanted for nothing. I took nothing and asked for nothing in return. I doubt you have ever had it so good before, and I seriously doubt you will ever have it so good again. So why would you do it?"
"Do what?" He asked dumbly.
"Don't play stupid. It's too late for that, you've been caught. Why would you cheat on me?!" I asked, leaning across the table towards him.
"I wasn't." He replied.
I huffed, pushing against the table top angrily, so pissed that my back slammed against the booth back.
"She was for you." He blathered.
"What?!" Now it was my turn to speak an octave higher; incredulous.
"I thought she might want to join us for a threesome."
"Okay, let's say I forget all the other holes in this excuse because – remember – you told Tonya that you were single and had not dated in months –" I let that hang in the air for a moment, allowing the reminder time to sink in – "but why in the world would you think I want a threesome?"
"Because you said so!"
"What?!" My voice was a screech, and I had to remind myself that I was in a public place.
"When you would talk dirty to me, you said you wanted to have a threesome with another girl." He explained, as if that should make sense of everything.
"You asked me to say it! It was taking you forever, I would have said whatever I had to just to make it end!" I slammed my fist on the table.
He had more excuses and for each one, I pointed out the holes in his story and countered with reality.
He claimed the phone calls and texts prior to "Tonya" were just from another girl he was trying to meet for the inevitable ménage a trois that I "so desperately wanted".
"You know what? You need to grow up. I put up with a lot of crap that most other women will not put up with." I took my time pointing out each of his numerous downfalls and watching the weight of the truth sink in. "I don't know how you expected to juggle three women when you couldn't even satisfy one."
He started to argue again, but I put my hand up to silence him. "I want to make a point. After I'm done with you, you will never consider using and hurting a girl like this again." I had one last surprise up my sleeve. "Women are not just walking wallets for you to mooch off of. We are not just sex toys. We are people. We have feelings. And when you do this kind of shit, you don't just hurt us, but you hurt the people who care about us. You worry and hurt the numerous friends and family that you so often refused to meet. Well guess what? I want you to meet them. I want you to see how far the hurt and the anger you've caused me will go."
As the people I loved stood up from their table and walked towards our booth, I lost my bravado and cried. Not for him. Not for what I had lost or experienced, but from overwhelming love for the three people who had come out to have my back at this crucial moment. My best friend Alice slipped into the booth beside me and put a comforting arm around my shoulders as I tried to stop my tears. My mother chose to sit beside him, his face once again a shocked copy of Edward Munich's "Scream". With no more room available in the booth, my father stood sternly at the end of the table with his arms folded, his glare frightening.
I wanted them there for support. For the shock factor. For the absolute embarrassment that James would feel in that moment. But, seeing my tears brought out the protective nature of my mother, who draped an arm fiercely around James shoulders and began lecturing him on what an amazing person I was and how severely he had screwed up.
At first, I couldn't speak around the lump in my throat to stop her. I struggled with it...but it was enormous and painful. Then, my mother began with the threats. "You have no idea what her father and I want to do to you. You can't begin to imagine the anger we feel for you hurting our baby girl-"
I was finally able to cut her off. I didn't want threats. It was never meant for him to feel unsafe. My entire day was meant to be a lesson in humility and decency. If we resolved to threats, we would be no better than him.
I coughed around the lump and then asked them to give me a little more time alone with him.
"In case you haven't guessed, it's over. You will not see me again. I am keeping the arcade tickets. If you want an X-Box, you'll have to get a job and pay for one like a grown man. I'm taking back the shirt I bought you and getting my money back. You never deserved it in the first place. You are a grown man, James…it's time you start acting like one."
For the first time, he remained stoic.
"I seriously suspect that you will be lonely for a long, long time because, the truth is that you really don't have much to offer a woman right now. You are nothing more than a vacancy….a void of vast need. But, should you meet someone else like me who is willing to look past your downfalls…cherish her. And, if you get cocky and think about cheating again, you better remember everything that's happened today."
His eyes grew teary.
"Do not call me. Do not e-mail me. Do not text of message me. I have no desire to see, hear from or speak to you again. Do I make myself clear?"
He started to speak, but I once again put my hand up to silence him. "I meant that, starting immediately." He snapped his mouth shut. The look in his eyes was enough for me to know that I had made my point. He would learn his lesson. He would remember everything that just happened.
And he was already beginning to feel his loss.
"I think you should leave."
He slowly scooted out from the seat as I remained silently in place.
"I'm sorry." He whispered, before turning, rounding the corner and disappearing out of sight.
It was the first thing he'd said all day that I actually believed.
I took a second to collect myself before joining my parents and Alice at their table nearby.
"Are you okay?" Alice asked, pouting at me worriedly.
"Yeah. I'll be fine. Thanks for being here." I answered.
They convinced me to order some food. I didn't have much appetite, but I was trembling so badly that they feared I might otherwise pass out.
We all browsed our respective menus in silence. As I tried to find something I might be able to stomach, a waiter approached from behind me, and it was the first time I realized that no server had been present throughout the entire ordeal.
"I saw him leave, so I thought you might be able to use some water." He offered, placing a tall, cold glass down in front of me.
I looked past my menu at one of the most handsome men who had ever taken the time to speak to me.
"My name is Edward, and I'll be your server."
~X~X~X~
It turns out that my parents had told Edward what to expect before I had ever arrived at the restaurant, and had showed him a picture of James, so he knew what to look for and where to direct him to find me.
He pulled up a chair and sat down beside me, congratulating me for having the courage to stand up for myself. He asked how it went and, as my mom, dad and Alice began to excitedly recount the experience piece by piece, through their eyes, I began to experience a pride and wonder in the masterpiece I had just orchestrated.
Edward was a really nice guy – a student working two jobs while trying to finish his law degree. He showed so much concern for me…constantly asking how I was doing when my eyes seemed to go distant again. He'd grip my shoulder or caress my forearm and say that he was sure it wasn't easy, but that he knew I'd done the right thing.
His copper hair was thick and GQ looking; nothing like James' long, thin, dirty blonde hair which he always tied back into a ponytail. His eyes were a piercing green, quite different than James' brown. And, there was just this nice, charming, easy-going way about him that I had never once experienced in the months I'd been with James.
As we all talked, the conversation began to flow effortlessly and some of my earlier bravado and adrenaline resurged. In fact, I actually found myself smiling and laughing less than half an hour after dumping my no-good boyfriend.
"Y'know, Edward?" I smiled. Was I flirting, even? "I just dumped my boyfriend, I'm on the rebound. Not only are you cute, but my parents here already seem to adore you. What do you say we hang out some time?"
Everyone's eyes bugged out in surprise at my uncharacteristic move.
Geez, I'm just dropping jaws left and right today! I thought to myself.
Then, the reality of how cocky I'd just behaved hit me and I felt my face blush fuchsia.
It was too late, though….Edward had already written down his phone number and was ripping the page from his order pad.
We have a date next Thursday.
And he's paying.
Part of me wondered if I was moving on to soon, but then I realized…at least he'd be an idiot to ever consider cheating on me!