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Chapter 3

They were moving slowly. Havoc was carrying Edward on his back and was doing all he could not to shake him. The kid was heavy. Really, how could someone so small weight so much? Oh, he'd be so dead if the teen knew he thought something like that about him. But still, automail sucked. Havoc had no idea how Ed could carry it everywhere all day and still do his crazy stunts. He made it seem so easy. The lieutenant didn't think he could've walked much faster with a burden like this even if he didn't have to take care of two injured comrades and pay close attention to his every step. Ed at least held a torch in his right hand so they could see what was in front of them. It was the pain-filled panting next to him that worried him the most.

When Havoc thought about it, he should be happy they were moving at all. They were really lucky. The wood was relatively free of any brush and the land was more or less flat. Even like this the colonel walked with great difficulty. He shouldn't be walking at all!, crossed Havoc's mind. Walking with crutches was tiring. Mustang was soon exhausted and who knew what kept him going on. Even when he didn't stand on his broken leg at all, it still aggravated the injury. It had to hurt a lot. The older alchemist was gripping the crutches so hard his knuckles were white. Havoc wished he could do something more to help him, but he really couldn't carry them both.

"Hey," mumbled Edward. "Why don't we take a break?"

The soldier took one look at his superior and nodded.

"Boss," he called. "We should take a break."

Mustang stopped. He was dripping sweat. Havoc didn't wait for his acknowledgement; it was clear he was too tired to answer. The blond man just found a good piece of ground and carefully put Ed down. He found out earlier that it hurt the teen to sit on his own, so he supported him and laid him down. Then he helped the colonel to sit down and let him catch his breath.

"This isn't the way we came here earlier, is it?" asked Mustang after a while.

"No," agreed Havoc. "We walked a good distance before and there was a worse terrain. I didn't want to go there again. There should be a road soon where we're heading now. You two can wait there and I'll get the car."

"I see. We should get going, then."

"You sure, Boss?"

"Yeah, I'm okay." he nodded. He sure didn't look like it, but at least he was a little rested now. And the sooner they got out of here, the sooner they could get proper medical attention. The lieutenant helped him to his feet and then turned to the younger alchemist. Who had his eyes closed and didn't respond.

"Chief!" the blond shouted, slapping the boy lightly across his cheek. "Hey, chief! No sleeping!"

"'M tired," mumbled the teen, waving him off lazily.

"Not now, Chief. Come on, we're going." the man tried to pick him up, but this time Ed wasn't cooperating.

"Ah, just five minutes, Al. Colonel Idiot won't get crazy if he waits for a while."

"What interesting things you can find out sometimes." Roy sighed and then shouted: "Fullmetal! Get up! That's an order!"

Edward flinched. "Bastard," he grunted, but finally opened his eyes. "You don't have to shout. I'm up, you see?" And he tried to stand up, forgetting momentarily about his injured back. He didn't get far. Burning pain spread through his body. The world swayed. Fortunately Havoc was there, catching him and supporting him. And Ed was grateful for the help at the time, waiting for the world to settle down.

"Was that necessary, Boss?" the lieutenant asked.

"He's awake, isn't he? And we need to get going." The colonel sounded annoyed, but Havoc realized he was just tired. They all were. No doubt Mustang was in a lot of pain, and there was still a long way that he would have to walk on his own. He had every right to be annoyed. They should move on.

"Hey, chief, come on," he got the teen's attention and helped him climb onto his back.

They set off, maybe even slower than before. Havoc was really worried for the colonel. He was white as a sheet and was soon sweating and panting again. The lieutenant just hoped the other man would last long enough. They couldn't be far from the road now. It had to come into view any minute.

In the end it took at least another fifteen minutes to reach the road. The colonel was beyond exhausted now, leaning heavily on his crutches. Havoc put Ed down first; the teen didn't look that much better. Who knew how he managed to stay awake. The lieutenant then helped Mustang sit down and leaned him against a tree. He left the torch there for them and rushed out into the woods. The sooner he got them out of here, the better.

They couldn't do anything but wait. The minutes slowly dragged on. Neither of them was talking; they were saving their energy. Edward laid on the ground and tried not to move. It eased the pain in his back. His injury still worried him. He didn't want to say anything in front of the lieutenant so the man wouldn't feel guilty. Now that they were alone he couldn't help it; his mind was full of the worst case scenario. He had had broken ribs before and this just wasn't it. It felt different.

If he took deep breaths, it sent a sharp pain through his back. He used this to pinpoint the exact source of the pain. It was too close to the spine for his liking. Had he hurt his spine? It definitely wasn't broken; he could still feel and move his legs, both the flesh and the prosthetic. He had tried that a few times earlier.

The only problem was that he couldn't sit on his own. Or to be precise, he could but it hurt like a bitch. Which led him back to the spine. What could be wrong with it? Or was it something else? If he thought about it, he felt the same pain when he used his back muscles. Maybe it wasn't the bones that were injured. Although Ed wasn't sure that it meant he was out of danger of some permanent damage.

He hated to be kept in the dark. He had to know. Would his injury leave a permanent damage or not? Could it get so bad that they would make him leave the military? They couldn't. They just couldn't! No way! He had made a promise. And he was going to keep it! He was going to get his little brother's body back! He wasn't going to leave the military until it was done!

Ed glanced at his superior. Mustang should know how these things worked. He could ask him what his options were. If he told him though, he wouldn't be able to keep it a secret if things weren't going to end well. What should he do?

"You want something," grumbled the colonel, "or am I just that interesting to stare at?"

Ed lowered his eyes. The key question was if he could trust Mustang. The man was an idiot, and acted like a bastard sometimes, but deep inside he wasn't half bad. He never hurt him or made things difficult for him. He kept his secret and gave him a chance to fix his mistakes, even helped him along the way sometimes. Yeah, Mustang was annoying. He was pain in the ass to work with. But could Ed trust him? Yes, he could.

"I was just thinking..." the teen mumbled, but then took a steadying breath and spoke more clearly. "It's just... My back hurts. Can't deny it. Back injuries can get serious, you know. What if I was hurt worse than we thought and it leaves permanent damage? Can the doctor make me leave the military?"

Roy sighed. He was really worn out and wasn't in the mood for 'what ifs' right now. "Technically he can," he answered, "but only if it's serious. I wouldn't worry about that."

"But what if..."

"You don't know it, Fullmetal!" the colonel snapped. Now he had to argue with a paranoid teenager. Just great! "Don't speculate about things you can't know! Just wait for the doctor's verdict."

"I need to know my options before that!" Ed shouted. He needed to know what his options were before the doctor told him the bad news, so he could act quickly to save his title. Why couldn't Mustang understand this? "I just... I just can't leave the military. Not yet."

Roy looked into the boy's eyes. Really looked. There was that familiar fire he had seen the first time he had met the boy, always burning. There was more though. Ed was desperate. And Roy now realized what was really going on here. Edward needed the military to help him gain back what he had lost. That was the only reason he was here, right? And now he was afraid someone would take it from him. He could see it deep in the teen's eyes. The fear. It really unnerved him. He wasn't used to seeing this particular young alchemist afraid. And now Ed turned to him for help. Him of all people! Whether it was because he was the only one around, or because Ed really trusted him, he didn't know. And you just snapped at him.

Mustang cleared his throat. "Fullmetal, can you move your legs?"

The teen blinked. It took him a second to catch on to the sudden change of topic, but then he answered. "Yes, I can."

"You think you can walk, after you're treated properly?"

"Yeah, I'm sure of it." He really didn't have another option.

"Then you're clear."

The younger alchemist blinked again. "How can you just say that?"

"Unless it's something serious like paralysis, the doctor won't give you medical discharge if you don't want it. He can write some recommendations though and give it to your superior officer to consider. As for me, as long as you can walk, you're fit for duty."

There, he did it again. He kept Ed's only hope living; and at the same time opened the door to a dangerous world of adults to a kid. He still thought it was the best option for the boys, and he desperately hoped he wasn't wrong.

Edward just stared. Had Mustang just said what he thought he had? That was... unexpected, but welcomed. It warmed his heart to hear the words from his superior, Ed couldn't help it. He always knew he could somehow count on the colonel and his team, otherwise he wouldn't have told him about his worries in the first place. Hearing such open support though, that was something else. It buried the last bits of doubt gnawing at his mind. He may not always get on well with the man, but Mustang was someone he could trust. Ed felt like a heavy burden had been lifted from his heart. He would continue his journey no matter what. He wouldn't stop until he got Al's body back; whatever it took.

They were lying silently again, just waiting. Edward listened to the other man's calm breathing. The only other sounds were the night animals; an owl somewhere above them and a field mouse pattering on his small legs in the woods. Ed felt his eyelids dropping and had to fight hard to stay awake. All the sounds were soon so monotonous, as if inviting him to fall asleep. It was all so soft that it was like a lullaby. If he just gave in... It was almost soothing. And speeding up. Wait, what?!

Ed was wide awake immediately. Mustang's breathing pattern was speeding up. This wasn't good.

"Hey!" he called. "Hey, Mustang! What's wrong?"

The colonel just looked at him with tired eyes. He was white as a sheet and sweating.

"What's wrong?!" the teen repeated, propping himself up on his forearms. Sharp pain shot through his back and he gasped. He had to stop there but he didn't fall back to the ground. Something wasn't right here and he wouldn't just lay there and watch this time.

"I feel awful," said Mustang in a whisper, so the young alchemist nearly missed it. "I think the leg's bleeding again."

Edward looked at the man's broken leg. Bleeding indeed; there was a large red stain on the bandage. Could someone bleed to death from an open fracture? Not that Ed would want to wait and see. Mustang looked bad enough now. Shit. Shit! He had to something about it. Who knew how long it'd take Havoc to return.

Ed got to his hands and knees. Bad idea. Oh, hell! His whole body burned with horrible pain. He couldn't see for all the dots before his eyes. His arms and legs trembled. He tried to breathe but his lungs refused to cooperate. But he couldn't give up! Somehow he managed to get over the distance and crawl to the colonel's leg. He knelt there, allowing himself a few seconds to recover. This is nothing compared to the automail surgery! He repeated to himself over and over again. I have survived a lot more. This is nothing!

"Fullmetal..."

The voice woke him. Ed realized he had nearly fallen down. He quickly composed himself again and blinked a few times. The black dots cleared a little. He went to work.

"Fullmetal, stop." said Mustang weakly while the teen took off the bandage.

"Shut up!" Ed grunted through clenched teeth.

"You don't have anything... to bandage with..." the colonel whispered between his shallow breaths. He really looked awful.

Ed stopped for a moment. This was something he didn't think through. What could he use as a bandage? His mind was blank. He was using all his strength to stay upright; thinking wasn't something he was up to right now.

Under normal circumstances he'd be ashamed at how much time it took him to take off the jacket Havoc had lent him, clap his hands and turn it into some bandages, but these weren't normal circumstances and he was just glad that he could get back to work. Mustang sighed silently. Ed was worried that the man was losing consciousness, but he couldn't treat his leg and keep him awake at the same time. He had enough problems to concentrate on with this one task.

Edward continued to take off the bloodied bandages. He had to work fast. His harsh, jerky breaths couldn't get enough air in his lungs and his strength was running low. Searing pain was spreading through his back. It was getting worse every second. He was dizzy and nauseous. His hands trembled so hard he had problems coordinating them. His body just didn't listen to his commands anymore, like it was slowly going to sleep. It was just a matter of time before he passed out or fell on the ground. And no way in hell was he going to collapse before he finished this!

Edward took one of the new bandages and simply put it on the wound, then another and fastened it as much as he could. The colonel screamed. He tried to squirm away but wasn't strong enough. Ed winced, but he didn't have time to be more careful. He had to work fast. First priority was to stop the bleeding. Mustang's pained cries slowly died down and that worried the young alchemist even more.

Edward nearly couldn't see what he was doing anymore. He was gasping for air. But the wound was bandaged safely again and hopefully wouldn't start bleeding until they got into hospital. The fracture just needed to be fixated; even if the colonel didn't move, it would ease the pain and prevent the injury from getting worse. So Ed hastily reached for the sticks and immobilized the limb.

Then he allowed himself to give out. He couldn't see. Couldn't hear. Not that he'd care about such things right now; he just waited for the pain to ease into a bearable level. His harsh gasps for air slowly turned into shallow breathing again. He felt almost relaxed.

It took him some time to realize he was lying comfortably on something. He felt totally spent. The sharp pain was still coming with every breath. He was wrapped in something warm. Didn't he turn the jacket into bandages? How was it there again? He slowly opened his eyes. The wood was all around him. So he wasn't in a hospital yet. He could see legs. Military blue... Mustang? He was lying in Mustang's lap?! If he hadn't felt so awful, he would have jumped up.

Ed slowly turned his head and looked at his superior. The colonel was shirtless. Well, that explained where the jacket came from. He still looked terrible. His face was sickly pale and he seemed to be sleeping. When Ed carefully lifted his left arm and touched the man's skin, it was freezing cold.

"You idiot!" the teen mumbled. "What good will it do to help me if you kill yourself in the process?"

"I don't plan on dying anytime soon, Fullmetal." Well, Mustang obviously wasn't sleeping.

"Really?" Ed said with a stronger voice. "have you looked in the mirror lately? You look like crap. And you're freezing. Take your jacket back."

"No," the colonel said weakly but firmly. "You're one to talk, Fullmetal. You don't look that much better."

Edward didn't argue with him because he knew it was true.

"This sucks!" the teen grumbled.

"What?"

"We look pathetic! What great state alchemists we are, coming back home in pieces like this. Everything because of a little trap. We can't even handle some stupid rogue alchemist!"

Roy chuckled. "I'm surprised to hear something like that from you, Fullmetal. You should know that we're not knights in shining armor and we don't live in fairy tale. We can't win every battle."

Ed scowled. "Do you think I'm some stupid child who knows nothing about the big world?

I don't need someone like you to enlighten me! I've seen enough!"

The colonel didn't reply. Edward just sighed, forgetting his anger. "I know the way people look at me, like I'm a hero or something; but there is nothing heroic on the life we live. We could easily die here tonight; while searching for evidence in some stupid cave. There'd be no meaning to our deaths, no purpose. We'd be just a few more numbers on the victim list of some no-name idiot. We should be happy that we got out with our lives."

Mustang looked down at the boy. It was strange how harsh his words sounded. Roy had seen people twice Ed's age who were far more naive. Hell, he himself was a naive idiot with heroic dreams when he was younger. Shouldn't young people have the right to be naive and innocent? Roy knew at least one who had every damn right.

"And still," Ed continued, "we look like idiots here. I mean, shouldn't we be the elite? How can we just walk right into the trap of some second class alchemist? That's embarrassing!"

Mustang couldn't help but chuckle. That was the brat he knew! How often had he scolded the kid about his childish behavior; and how glad he was now to hear him fuming at something so stupid?

"I wouldn't say it's embarrassing," said the colonel, "but I know what you mean. I have an important mission to do and people who count on me, and here I am, not even able to stand on my own."

"Just as I said. It sucks."

"We should learn from our mistakes, Fullmetal. Besides, I wouldn't call what you did today pathetic. Despite the tough situation you saved the lives of your comrades and didn't get yourself killed in the process. That counts too."

Ed smiled. That was another way to look at the situation. It wasn't often that Mustang complimented him for something. Actually, he couldn't remember if Mustang had ever complimented him at all.

"You just have an answer for everything, don't you?" the teen couldn't help but reply.

There was no answer to that. Edward looked up, alarmed. The colonel had his eyes closed again.

"Hey!" the young alchemist shouted but got no response. "Hey, Mustang! Wake up, you idiot!" He reached up to shake him. His skin was freezing cold and clammy. Now when Ed thought about it, the colonel's breathing was way too fast and shallow; and when he had talked earlier, he had sounded awfully tired. Apparently he had lost too much blood and was going into shock.

"Colonel Mustang! Open your damn eyes right now!"

Tired black eyes looked back at him. They weren't very focused, though. Ed's thoughts raced as he tried to remember how to treat shock. He wasn't very coherent himself, so it was a bit difficult. All he could think of was that Mustang was freezing and it wasn't good. How could he keep him warm? The colonel refused to take back his jacket; and if he did, Ed knew that then he would face the same problem himself. He wasn't in that much better condition. So there weren't many options now. Talk about embarrassing...

"Mustang, help me sit up." It almost sounded like an order. The teen grabbed his superior's shoulders and lifted himself up. The burning pain spreading through his back made him gasp. Black dots appeared again before his eyes. He didn't have enough strength for this. His body trembled with effort. Then strong arms held him firmly, though little clumsily. With the colonel's help Ed managed to sit himself up somehow. He leaned on the man, unable to hold himself upright. His back hurt. It was much better when he was laying down. While sitting, the pain just didn't get better. He had trouble breathing as every breath sent a sharp pain through his back.

Ed refused to give up. He just allowed himself a minute to put himself together and then shifted a little and embraced his superior so he lent him as much of his body heat as possible. Mustang, who somehow caught onto his idea, had already shifted the jacket so it was now covering the boy's back and shoulders. Then they stayed like this and waited.

"Talk about embarrassing," the colonel voiced Ed's earlier thoughts.

"One dirty comment about this, Mustang, and I'll kill you!" Edward grunted. "And if you ever tell anyone, I'll rip your head off and use the rest of your body as a punching bag."

Roy sighed, but didn't say anything. It didn't occur to him to say any dirty comments about the boy's act. He knew very well why he had done it. Roy was actually grateful; and really surprised. He had known Fullmetal for a long time and the kid just wasn't the cuddling type. It had to take a lot to put his pride aside. And here he was, saving his comrade again. Mustang would have to find a way to thank him later.

Ed thought about it a little and just couldn't find out what made him to do something like this. Cuddling with Mustang! Wasn't he an idiot? Yesterday he'd beat anyone into a bloody pulp for even suggesting it. The only reason that he didn't pull away was because he just couldn't move anymore. But then, when his mind cleared a little from the pain and embarrassment, he remembered. Those eyes. Mustang's black eyes, suddenly so empty and distant. The fire, always strong and burning, was now gone. The eyes looked almost dead. And although Ed would never admit it, he was scared.

Edward felt his superior's head resting on his flesh shoulder. It hurt, but he didn't complain. It took him a minute to realize that Mustang had passed out again. For good this time, it seemed. Well, there wasn't much Ed could do. Just sit there and wait. He listened to the man's breathing; much calmer now to his relief. He let himself relax. It didn't take much time until he too fell into unconsciousness.