Disclaimer:I still do not own KKM! And never will…..
Author Notes:Thank you for the 91 reviews, 73 follows and 45 favorites. It's really appreciated! On with the story.
Review Replies:Thank you Sawyer Fan, This Is Awesome, anonymousunknown, angelanddevil2 and Ilovekkm for reviewing! Sorry for not addressing each one of you individually but I am sadly short of time. THANK YOU!
"He doesn't need my help coming up with pranks. He's got too many ideas of his own
Tamora Pierce, Tris's Book
Chapter 13: Pranks Galore
William stomped through the hallways trying to make his way to his room as quickly as he could without being spotted by anyone. It was, of course, easier said than done. Where ever he went the soldiers, maids and other castle residents stopped everything they were doing to turn and stare at him.
He growled as another maid stopped and hid her giggles at his appearance.
He couldn't have drawn more attention if he had put a bright neon sign around his neck saying, 'Look at me.'
Unfortunately for him, even though there was no neon sign around his neck there still was the neon pink spray paint in the back of his robes saying the exact same thing.
And that is why Shinou should never be given the possession of a can of spray paint. It would surely lead to disastrous- or in this case, deserving- results. How Shinou was able to carry a spray can that was bigger than him or how he was able to get it on Williams robes will forever remain unanswered.
So William stalked through the hallways unaware of the condition of his robes and mentally cursing his luck. He managed to reach his room without any further incidents but little did he know that it was just the start of all his troubles.
Reaching his room he twisted the door knob handle trying to open it up. Instead he found his hand stuck to it. He tried to pull back. Special emphasis on tried. But his hand would not budge. With a jolt he realized that someone, some utter imbecile, has applied glue on his door handle. And now he was stuck.
Looking around conspicuously, he slowly started to pull harder hoping he didn't look to undignified.
But there was still someone who was watching the whole spectacle and trying not to laugh. This glue trick was not an actual prank but it was to buy time for Yozak to complete his task.
Murata leaned back and continued to observe the disgruntled Devil. He wanted to brand this scene in his memory.
William with one of his leg on the door trying to pull back with all his might, with a constipated look on his face. It reminded Murata of the Tom and Jerry cartoon he had seen a long time ago. Finally, unable to stand idle any longer, Murata decided to put William out of his misery. Only so that he can walk into the next one.
"Oh My! Is something the matter Lord Rudolph?" Murata asked unable to cover up the amusement lining his tone. William immediately stopped struggling when he saw Murata approach him with the same enigmatic smile on his face. Resisting the urge to glare he forced a smile.
"Just got myself in a small pinch." He glanced at the door handle that refused to let go of his hand.
"Oh... that sounds bad. Maybe I might be able to help you." Murata offered with a charming smile that anyone who knew him would have known was fake. But William never met him personally for long and so accepted the offer.
"A little water might help slick of the glue." Murata hummed looking around as if a bucket of water would suddenly appear out of thin air. And almost by coincidence, an innocent looking bucket sat at the base of the wall near the door. A bit too innocent and a bit too convenient.
Murata just grinned and took the bucket of water.
"Get ready." Before William could ask, he was drowned in a bucket of... Oil. It seemed like paint wasn't the only thing that could be extracted from bearbee extracts. William choked and spat out some of the oil that managed to get in his mouth.
"Shit! I am so sorry. It seemed like water and I didn't realize that..." Murata trailed off worriedly, the bucket held loosely in his hand.
"It's fine Your Eminence. Mistakes happen." William managed to grit out.
"I am really, really sorry. But at least your hand is now unstuck." Murata remarked glancing at the sticky but free hand.
William too glanced at his hand with a distasteful look on his face and tried to clean it on his robes apparently forgetting that even his robes were covered in the same oil.
"Well, I will leave you to clean up." Murata turned around. But he couldn't go without a parting shot. "And you better give those robes to Miss Anissina for cleaning. I doubt that neon paint would come out so easily."
Murata didn't need to turn around to see William's horrified look or his attempts to twist himself in order to get a glimpse of the paint. Humming lightly he slowly made his way towards Yuri's office. After all, there was no harm in stroking the fire a bit more.
On the other hand, William was sure that the Great Sage was behind all this. He had appeared too conveniently for it to be a coincidence. For a minute William considered cancelling the date. But he soon scraped that idea when he realized that this might be the only time he would be able to get Wolfram alone.
He just had to be careful. Very careful.
Little did he know that Murata was not the only one he had to be careful about.
OooO
While William was hoping his luck would turn for the better, Wolfram was freely cursing his. He was sure that his 'guardian angel'- Yuri had told him about an angel that guards a person against all the bad things and he had found it ironic- was stuck in a sand bear trap somewhere.
What else could explain the string of bad luck that had followed him since the past few days? He might have been a selfish, stubborn, spoiled, prideful, childish, prudish, brat but he didn't think he had done anything so drastic to get back this kind of bad luck.
The last thing he wanted was to go on a date with that- that- Wolfram growled scaring the nearby soldier that was passing him. But for some reason his mother had been insistent and while she might be mostly easy going she would not be happy if he disobeyed her. And no one liked facing Lady Celi when she was unhappy.
So he waited by the outer gates. He would've preferred going by horses but a crowded market place and horses did not go well together. He also didn't like waiting. As he stood there- for far too long according to him while in reality it had only been 15 minutes- someone tapped him on the shoulder.
Turning around he caught sight of a man hiding under a thick hood.
It was a natural instinct for him to call upon his maryuko and light the mysterious mans clothes on fire. After all, he had bad experiences with men wearing big hoods that covered their entire face. But the yelping sound that the man emitted couldn't be mistaken for anyone else's.
"William?" Wolfram asked shocked as the so called mysterious man removed his hoodie and threw it to the ground. Ignoring the burning cloth, Wolfram instead focused his attention on William. "What were you-"He immediately feel quiet as he took in the appearance of his date.
The bright blue skin nearly blinded Wolfram as he frowned trying to make sense of what had happened. All the other parts of William's body was covered- including his hands which were covered with gloves- except for his face and neck which were bright blue in colour.
Opening his mouth in an attempt to say something- anything- Wolfram started laughing. It seemed like it wasn't only the skin that had been affected.
The bright neon pink hair- not unlike the paint that had been on his robes- contrasted greatly with the blue skin. As Wolframs laughter got louder, Williams face slowly began to change colour. From blue it had become... red. Not the usual I-am-embarrassed red but the my-skin-colour-is-red red. And it didn't help that it was a fire engine shade of red.
And it wasn't only the physical appearance nut also the body odor that was affected.
'What the hell happened to you? And is that bearbee paint smell?"
"Some bastard decided to use me as a prank target. I think there was something in the soap and shampoo I used." William glanced at Wolfram, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Do you know anything about it?"
"No I don't. But I will find that person." William smiled at the concern that Wolfram seemed to show him. But that smiled disappeared at Wolframs next words. "Maybe we can honor those people by awarding them or something." Resisting the urge to glare at his supposed darling William took a deep breath to calm himself down. This made him turn into a shade of light blue.
"But since you have this... Problem maybe we should forget about going out today?" Wolfram asked hopefully. If he was sure of anything, it would be of the fact that William was vain. Very vain. He might have ignored it during the days they were together but the relation between William and mirrors was like the relation between a husband and wife.
But to Wolfram's disappointment and even more immense anger, William shook his head. "My colour doesn't need to stop our date." Then with an immensely sappy look he turned towards Wolfram. "And I would wear even the most hideous costume if that meant going on a date with the most beautiful creature in Shin Makuko."
Wolfram had to clamp his mouth shut to prevent his laughter from escaping. This was not what he had expected William to say. And he was sure that William didn't mean any of the crap he had just sprouted. But the prospect of going with William in the town and displaying his face for everyone to see was something Wolfram couldn't give up on. So swallowing his pride and worries Wolfram nodded and tilted his head towards the path that led to the town.
"Then let's go."
Ignoring the surprised look on Williams face Wolfram set down the path. Maybe his so called guardian angel will wake up and save him.
OooO
Yozak couldn't stop laughing. He hadn't been able to get out in time but had managed to change the soap and shampoo to the ones Anissina had given him. He had managed to duck behind the thick curtains before William could see him. Not that he was paying any attention. William was mumbling and frowning as he tried to clean of the oil- and glue- on his oil soaked clothes.
Yozak could have left when William entered the bathroom but he was curious. Anissina's inventions were known to fail and-more often than not-explode. So he had waited.
And he was happy he did.
He was awarded by the sight of William rushing out of the baths within 10 minutes. His skin was dark blue and his hair was neon pink. And as if that wasn't enough Yozak also caught sight of another part of Williams's anatomy that was normally not kept in sight of people. But that was not the only thing that made Yozak lose control over his laughter.
It was the fact that the so called appendage was not only bright blue but it was also small. Very small.
Luckily for Yozak, William had been too worried to notice the curtain that was shaking unnaturally. It wasn't until William covered himself and left that Yozak let himself out.
Of course he still couldn't stop laughing.
And that bought him to the present scene where his other partners in crime looked completely bemused as Yozak went into fits of laughter as soon as he tried to talk.
"So I am guessing that my soap and shampoo worked." Anissina's lips broke into a smile. Yozak nodded before breaking out into another fit of laughter.
"Gurrier! I would like to know what happened." Gwendal growled.
So taking in a deep breath to steady himself he launched into the tale of what he had seen. He conveniently left out the fact that Murata was the one who had helped distract William long enough for him to do his job. They didn't need to know that someone else was helping them.
Everyone had different reactions.
Conrart coughed and didn't say anything.
Gwendal's eye twitched and he looked like he wanted to tell Yozak off.
Anissina was the most different though. "People would expect that a man with an ego the size of Shin Makuko would have better goods in the basement."
Gwendal choked while Conrart just stared at Anissina.
It was a crude comment but they didn't feel too surprised to hear it from Anissina.
Yozak just started choking on his laughter after hearing the comment. This continued for a few minutes before Gwendal- who had gotten tired of all this- snapped. "That's enough. We have work to do."
He stalked off.
Yozak stifled his laughter and stared after his commander. "What's wrong with him?"
Conrart sighed. "Gwendal was always more protective of Wolfram. For him Wolfram is still the little toddler that needs to be protected from everything."
Anissina frowned. "He needs to stop being so over protective. Wolfram is big enough now. The reasons men are weak are because they are sheltered from an early age. They need to face the horrors of the world and understand what the world is capable of if they are not strong enough."
There were a few minutes of silence that seemed out of place after the raucous laughter.
"I am going to get Gwendal." Anissina announced.
"For what?" Conrart asked. Wolfram and William were already on their way to the town.
"To go to the town. You didn't think that this plan was over yet right?" There was a dangerous edge to her smirk that clued in to the further horrors she had in store for William.
OooO
"Look at him. His skin..."
"He is from the Castle isn't he?"
"Maybe he got affected by one of Lady von Karbelnikoff experiments."
"That seems likely."
The whispers that followed the unluckily duo were mostly sympathetic. Nearly all the people they encountered thought that the 'Rainbow accident'- as it had been so affectionately named- was Anissina's fault.
Little did they know that their speculations were spot on.
"At least they aren't making fun if you." Wolfram remarked glancing at his companion. Since he had burnt the hood that kept Williams face hidden, William had no choice but to display his disfigurement to the public.
Of course he had protested. He had decided to go in the castle and get another hood. But Wolfram- who wanted to make sure that the date was equally painful for William as it was for him- pouted and declared that the date would be canceled if William wore a hood. Thankfully for him, William didn't know that he couldn't cancel the date.
So Wolfram and his colorful -literally- companion were making their way through the town. They were also making a very long lasting impression. Especially since Wolfram had recently separated from his fiancé.
At last, after an eternity- for William at least- they reached their destination.
An outdoor drinks shop.
Wolfram grimaced but sat-rather unwillingly- on the wooden chair as William took the seat opposite him.
William had turned bright purple and Wolfram was sure that he was a bit too proud of his ability to 'charm' Wolfram. His hair though stayed bright neon pink attracting the attention of many shop goers.
The last thing Wolfram wanted was attention.
Resisting the urge to groan he picked the menu from the table and went through it.
But he was unable to concentrate on it.
The shop they were sitting in was located at the centre of the town. True it was a bit out of the way but during rush hour- like now- sufficient amount of people passed the shop. It didn't help that they were sitting outside. There were seats inside too but Wolfram didn't particularly feel like being under the scrutiny of a half a dozen people who were seated inside.
Huffing he snapped the menu shut and put it back in the table.
"Decided on your order?"
Wolfram glanced at William and nodded. He didn't want to interact with this-this troll that had nearly no brains seeing as he had not noticed all the Get Lost signs in Wolframs behavior. Or maybe he had noticed but deiced to ignore it.
That thought made Wolfram frown. He preferred the first option. The first option meant that William really had no common sense and Wolfram would not have to worry about anything. But if it was the second option then he knew that he was in trouble. It would mean that William had some kind of plan and was being extremely cunning. After recalling the incident that caused him to hate William in the first place he was nearly sure that it was the second option. But what could William want from him?
"I will have some red tea. What about you Wolfram?"
Lost in his thoughts Wolfram hadn't noticed the waiter approach. Jumping at the sudden interruption to his thoughts he looked at the waiter in confusion.
"Wolfie, your order?"
"Ah I will have green tea..." Wolfram turned towards William and glared fiercely. "What did you call me?"
William was quick to dismiss the waiter. As the waiter went to fetch their order Williams's lips stretched into a charming smile. "Your old nickname. Remember how much you used to love being called by that?" William sighed. "It brings back so many great memories."
Wolfram already was irritated and his new realization of the fact that William might be using him did not help endear William to him.
"Yeah actually it does." For a moment William beamed. "Memories of the lovely fire dragon that went behind you and your" Wolframs lips curled upwards in a humorless smirk. "Cousin"
William turned bright red for a moment before settling for a lighter pink.
Before William could say anything in return something bright appeared by their table. Actually it was not a something but a someone.
"Hello daaaaarlings! How delightful it is to see young love around the town."
The first thing that came to Wolframs mind was, 'where did Yozak get the wig from?'
The wig that Yozak was wearing as waist length and as colorful as a rainbow. The multicolor locks of hair caught the attention of many people. It was more than the amount of attention William hair had attracted. Even the eye shadow, blush, lipstick, eyeliner were too outrageous for anyone to actually believe him to be a woman.
The dress would have been gorgeous on a real girl. But the fact was that Yozak was a man. A very muscular man. The red glittery dress that was covered with tassels was tight fitting and did nothing to hide the bulging muscles.
Wolfram, after seeing many of Yozak's disguises, could easily recognize the spy. But William had never actually met Yozak so he looked wary of the muscular WoMan that had stopped by their table. Wolfram was sure that he thought that Yozak was a bit loose in the head.
"Do you need something?" William asked politely though disgust could be clearly heard in his voice.
"Well actually I wanted to discuss something important with you." Yozak grinned widely and hooked his arm through William's pulling him along.
Wolfram just stared after the retreating duo as their hair shined brilliantly in the sun.
A waiter arrived. If Wolfram had been any more observant he would have noticed that the waiters face was mostly hidden by a brown cap. It might not have been odd except for the fact that the cap looked strangely like the one used on Earth. It was big and did a fantastic job of hiding the face from sight. A few bright red tendrils escaped the hat and curled around.
Placing the tray of their order on the table, the waiter took advantage of Wolframs temporary distraction to add some sugary substance in the cup containing red tea.
"Shall I add some sugar to your tea too sir?" Wolfram glanced at the waiter. The voice was... off. It was low but more like a female. Not only that but the ridiculous hat perched on top of the head was not something that could be found in Shin Makuko. But a squeal from Yozak a few meters away turned his attention back on them.
"No need." He muttered as he tried to figure out what Yozak was up too.
William looked completely flustered while Yozak sported a big grin in his face. If Wolfram had been paying attention to the waiter he would have noticed the smirk that lit the waiters face while retreating.
OooO
"Are you sure that there are no toilets in the cafe?"
This question came from Gwendal who was still grumpy at being dragged out of the castle by his childhood friend- or torturer.
"Yes I am sure." Conrart repeated for the 48th time- Yozak had been counting- in 2 hours.
The only reason Gwendal had agreed to come out if the castle was the thought that his 'Little Selfish Bratty Brother' might need help surviving the horrifying date had been inserted in his mind by Anissina.
Anissina, having gotten rid if the waiters uniform and the over large cap, rolled her eyes.
"It was lucky that I was able to convince the owner to let me serve them."
"Threatened not convinced." Gwendal coughed and ignored the glare Anissina was giving him.
"Well whatever she did the manager agreed to accommodate our request." Out of all of them Yozak was having the most fun. He had- rather reluctantly- removed the bright red dress.
Their current hideout was in the antique shop that was situated opposite the tea shop Wolfram and William were in. The old man running the antique shop gave them odd looks as they just stood by the window and stared out. Not to mention the odd conversations.
Shaking his head and deciding to mind his own business, he turned back to dusting the antique pieces decorating the shelves of the shop.
"What did you talk to him about any way?" Conrart questioned noting the bright red colour of Williams's face that was visible even from this distance. It was the kind of red that could only signify embarrassment.
"Nothing much. Just about wigs and where we can buy them." Yozak said innocently.
All the three turned to look at Yozak. The moment would have looked completely synchronized if someone had been seeing them.
"Somehow I doubt that the discussion of wigs is the source of his embarrassment." Anissina remarked.
Yozak shrugged.
They turned their attention back in the duo. Now to wait for William's next sip.
OooO
"What were you both discussing about?" It might sound like a question a jealous girlfriend might ask but the fact that Wolfram was neither a girl nor a friend of William removed that option.
Wolfram was only curious about what Yozak was planning. If the morning's incident and the Williams colorful face were anything to go by, there was more to come.
"N-Nothing important." William waved his hand as if to chase away the topic.
That made Wolfram even more curious.
So to avoid more question William decided to drink his tea. Which had been tampered with not that he knew it.
He drank most of the cup in one gulp.
At first everything seemed normal. Wolfram sipped a bit of his tea and opened his mouth to question William more. But before he could say anything Williams face stretched into a peculiar expression that looked even odder on his red face.
The expression soon turned into one if horror as he stood up toppling his chair in the process. Before Wolfram could do more than blink and open his mouth William had rushed into the shop leaving Wolfram staring after him in shock.
Wolfram stood and went to the shop. As he opened the door he heard William scream, "What do you mean by there is no toilet here?"
The people sitting around were all staring at William like he as some kind of alien species.
"Sorry sir but the size of our shop is too small to accommodate a toilet. But there is a public toilet which is out of commission if you..." Before the owner could complete his sentence William turned on his heel, pushed Wolfram aside and rushed out.
For a few moments there was absolute silence.
Then it started. Slowly but surely people began to turn to each other and started whispering.
Resisting the urge to groan Wolfram went to their table and dropped a few coins for their teas. Glancing back he grimaced when he noticed all the customers staring at him like he was going to do something that would be highly embarrassing. Their hawks like gazes were making him nervous.
So as soon as he could he high tailed out of there.
The public toilet looked like it had been abandoned for a minimum of few hundred years. The door had many cuts and was rotting in many places. The walls of the toilet might have been originally blue in colour though it was hard to say through the different layers of dirt and carvings.
The toilet itself was no larger than a closet. It surely gave the person inside a claustrophobic feeling. At least these were the observations that were made by Wolfram as he waited out of the toilet for William. He would have just left William and gone up to the castle if he knew his mother wouldn't find out.
"Are you fine?" Wolfram asked. Less because he was concerned and more because he was curious.
For a reply he got a loud groaning sound whose origins are to be questioned.
"My stomach..." Another loud sound. Wolfram scrunched his nose in distaste. He would have blamed this on Williams bad luck if he hadn't seen Yozak. But knowing that Yozak was somehow involved in all this made him curious.
"Wolfram? I dint think there is any toilet paper in here..."
Wolfram couldn't hold it anymore. He started laughing.
And he would have continued if he hadn't spotted something that made him freeze.
Yuri and Sara. Laughing. Together. Near him.
If one heard more closely, a distant Bad Omen cry could be heard.
Author Notes: After 4 months I have at last managed to update. I can't give any good reasons. But I did get addicted to another anime: Code Geass. I do love many other anime but this anime captured me and I was obsessed. Not to mention my 12th grade has started and this can make or break me. So updates will be slow though I will try to update another chapter next month. Thank you for sticking with me and being so patient. Read and Review!