Today was her birthday. Bella had told Alice and Edward that she didn't want a birthday party, but they didn't listen. Then again she didn't expect them too.
Bella only put up a small fight for show. For their benefit. They enjoyed it when they got their way.
She stared in the mirror and raised a hand to the dull eyed girl reflected back at her. She traced her reflection before stepping back and putting on the dress and heels Alice had laid out for her and light makeup.
Charlie was sitting on the couch. He stood up when he saw her and smiled awkwardly.
"You look good."
"Thanks." Bella wasn't sure what to say to her dad. This was her first birthday in the same state as him for years and she couldn't spend it with him. She wanted nothing more than to order a few pizzas with him and watch a few movies together. Or go out to the diner and have dinner. Just the two of them.
A knock drew her from her thoughts.
"I'll call if I'm going to be late. I'm not quite sure what Alice has planned."
Charlie hesitated and then nodded before throwing a look of distaste at the door. Charlie didn't like the Cullen's, but be didn't know that Bella didn't like them either.
"Be safe."
A bitter smile curved her lips.
"Of course."
-time skip-
Bella was in the doll house again. Not long after answering the door she slipped back into herself. Retreated into safety, but it was a for naught.
She got a papercut. A simple papercut.
Their hungry eyes gazed at her and she was suddenly in full control of her body. She didn't have time to be afraid before she was pushed into a glass table. After that all hell broke loose and the next thing she knew she was at home in bed.
The following week was strange. None of the Cullen's showed up to school except Edward. He was distracted, distant from her and she didn't question it. Far too terrified that he would turn his attention back to her. Today was different however. He walked her deep into the woods his face passive. Expressionless.
Bella looked around at the unfamiliar forest around her.
"Edward?" Was the doll broken and used? Was the spider finally hungry? Was this where she died?
"Bella we're leaving."
Bella's heart skipped a beat.
"When you mean we..." She trailed off.
"I mean me and my family. Bella you can't come."
"Edward-" she wasn't quite sure what she was about to say.
"No Bella," Edward looked at her with cold eyes, "I'm tired of pretending to be something I'm not. Human. You aren't my soul mate Bella. I was wrong."
Bella let in a sharp intake of air.
"The human mind is a sieve the memories of me you have will fade. I'm sure you'll forget all about me soon enough."
Bella met his cold eyes. Was this it? Was he finally done with her?
"Goodbye Bella." And then he disappeared.
Bella stared at the forest sightlessly. This isn't real. I'm dreaming. She pinched herself and winced at the pain.
"No this is just a horrible trick. They are waiting for me to mess up. They have to be." She thought hysterically.
She began walking around the forest looking for some sign of them. Looking up at the trees behind bushes. She began running trying to catch a glimpse. Something.
"It's a trick. It's a trick. They aren't gone. They wouldn't leave me alive. It's a trick." She repeated to herself over and over again first whispering and then finally screaming. Finally, she wasn't sure how long. She tripped over a root and collapsed. She clutched the ground and looked around at the silent forest.
Bella huddled into herself. Desperately wanting to believe.
"They're...they're gone. They're gone." The relief was overwhelming. Bella began laughing hysterically and her laughter soon turned into sobs.
"It's over. They're gone. He's gone." She whispered over and over again.
That's how Sam found her whispering over and over again.
"Gone. Gone. Gone. Gone. Gone."
The next day was a blur. Bella had caught a chill in the forest and was fever ridden and dreaming horrible dreams. Dreaming that it was all a trick and that they were all around her smiling cruelly. Saying over and over again.
"Did you really think that we would just let you go?"
She'd wake up screaming in terror. Charlie rushing in and comforting her until she returned to sleep.
The next few days was spent in a haze. She was happy they were gone, but that didn't stop her from waking up at night and terrifying herself into believing that Edward was sitting in the rocking chair. It didn't stop her from looking at the Cullen's table during lunch (she didn't eat lunch anymore). It didn't stop her from dreaming at night that they had returned to torment her.
Bella huddled in her bad. She hugged her legs to her chest. It was midday maybe. Saturday perhaps? Charlie would have woken her up for school if it was during the week.
Bella blinked rapidly and stared at the bed and tried to concentrate. She looked out the window. Walked over to it and put her hand against the frosted pane. She shook her head.
"No. It can't be."
It was snowing.
"That can't be right." It was just fall. It had just turned fall.
Bella's breath came into sharp pants and she ran around the room rifling through drawers looking for something. She pulled the covers off her bed and her phone clattered to the floor. She snatched it up and looked for the calendar with trembling fingers.
"No. No. No no no no no."
It was November.
Edward had left in September.
Two months.
Bella had lost two whole months. She sat down on her bed shakily.
"What's wrong with me?" She whispered.
November and December were two of the hardest months in Bella's life.
She constantly lost track of the days. When she was awake she would mark the days and then she would lose herself for weeks again at a time.
From what she could tell she didn't eat and hardly slept during the times she would lose herself. She wouldn't communicate at all. Not with the people at school and not with Charlie. It was like she was running on auto pilot again but her purpose wasn't there anymore so for the most part she just sat there.
When she was aware she desperately tried to find out what was wrong with her before she was stuffed back down into herself again. To nothingness.
Bella was terrified. She couldn't go to anyone for help. Charlie and Renee would send her off to 'get help' she'd be locked up. Charlie was already desperately worried for her. He'd tried to send her home but she fought against it. What if she lost herself completely when she left Forks? She couldn't risk it. She'd briefly thought about Billy, but what could he do? He couldn't help her before how could he possibly help her now? She was also still bitter about his late warning. Why hadn't he told her sooner? She could have been spared this fate.
~January~
Bella was outside in the woods behind her house. She sat down and leaned against a tall, old tree. The woods didn't frighten her despite Edward leaving her there. In fact, they comforted her more than anything and it was only the chill of winter that drew her away from them.
Bella didn't like the cold. She detested it with every fiber of being. Long hot baths were now routine and they helped her sleep better at night.
She closed her eyes and tried to concentrate. She'd learned about meditation on the Internet but had yet to try it. The times between nothingness were becoming fewer but she had only gained another few more days of awareness.
She began to breathe deeply in and out and after an hour opened her eyes and huffed in frustration at her failure .She took a breath to calm herself before trying again. Idly she found herself concentrating of the forest. Slowly she began to drift off. Bella dreamed off the Cullen's house encased in spider webs.
She woke up with a choking scream.
For the next few days Bella was too terrified of trying again. It was Charlie's worried eyes that made her try again.
Friday after school she went back into the woods. She calmed herself again and drifted until she was back in front of the Cullen's house. She went to the door and pulled away the thick, sticky webs. Then she opened the door.
The door creaked open and she screamed.
Standing in the middle of the doorway was herself.
"Burn it. Burn it down." Her doppelgänger whispered. "If you don't we are stuck forever. If he comes back we'll always be his. Hurry. Hurry now."
Bella stared at herself terrified.
"What is this place?"
"We built it," the other her whispered, "we built it to escape. It wasn't always like this. It wasn't always their house and their web."
"What changed?" Bella asked.
"The venom. It's still here. In the webs. In the house. Get rid of it. Get rid of it. Get rid of it." The her stuck inside of the house began to sob.
"How can I burn it if you-we are inside? What will happen to us?" Bella asked fearfully.
"Well finally be free!" The other screamed. "Burn it! Burn it!"
Bella looked around herself. A canister of gasoline appeared she splashed it on the house and around it. The canister never seemed to empty. She went back to the open door and her doppelgänger kept whispering.
"Burn it. Burn it."
Bella through the canister inside of the house. She hesitated before reaching into her pocket. Her fingers curled around a zippo lighter. She pulled it out and flicked it open and watched the flame. She threw it onto the ground in front of the house and watched it slowly engulf into flames.
Her doppelgänger stepped out of the burning house.
A tear ran down Bella's face. It was over. It was finally all over
"What now?" She asked doppelgänger.
The doppelgänger smiled at Bella. Her pale, sickly skin gained color, her oily, limp hair took on an appealing sheen.
The doppelganger's body filled out slightly, subtly to a more womanly curve and finally her dull eyes gained the life that had been missing for months.
"Now we become what we were always meant to be. Now we can finally allow ourselves to live again."
Bella smiled