Chapter 13: Preparation for Guests

Hayate

It was good to be at sea again. Every time we docked, I could sense Sasame's unease at being so close to land. Even all the brothels in Port Royal could not alleviate his anxiety, so I did my best to soothe him. Seeing his precious Pretear repaired set him in excellent spirits, as did setting sail again. He felt in command of himself and at ease at sea.

I surveyed the deck, pleased to see the crew working efficiently again. Perhaps the repaired ship and the fair winds lifted their spirits. I suspected the extended stay near the brothels had something to do with it as well, along with the promise of a new capture. I nodded in acknowledgement as Kei approached.

"The captain would like to see you," he stated.

I followed him back to Sasame's quarters. Sasame was standing by the windowsill, the colored light from the stained glass window painting patterns on his otherwise lavender and white outfit. As he turned to face us, I could see the excitement radiating from his eyes.

"As you both are aware gentleman, this," he said, stabbing his dagger into the map spread onto the table, "will be the site of our next capture."

We were a few days' sail away from the marked site where we would intercept the course of our target ship. If the information we had gathered was correct and the winds remained as favorable, we would be raiding a large passenger ship on route to Hispaniola from Spain. A prize truly worthy of the captain of the Pretear.

"Our cannons are all in working order, I trust?" Sasame asked. Kei nodded.

"The Pretear is in pristine form and fully stocked," I added.

Sasame was beaming with the excitement of a predator when it has but little to go to capture its prey. The hunger in his eyes thrilled me—a hunger that was at once savage as it was coldly intelligent. It had been far too long since our last capture; even I was anticipating the next hunt. Sasame turned to me and I immediately recognized an undertone of a different sort of hunger in his gaze.

"Very good. Kei, see to it that the preparations for our guestsare completed. You are dismissed," Sasame said briskly.

After Kei had left the cabin, Sasame wordlessly gestured to me. I approached him with conditioned robotic movements. I knelt before him and removed the sash around his waist with my teeth—gently, for I knew how precious his clothes were to him—and arrived at the bulge underneath his breeches. I moved forward to lick the bulge, but I was moving too slowly. He unclasped his breeches and his hand gripped my hair suddenly in his impatience. He thrust deep into my throat and I resisted the urge to gag. Tears were forming in my eyes, but I focused my gaze upwards at his flushed face with his wild eyes. The eyes whose hunger was never satiated.

Captivated by those eyes, I released as he did—liquid fire flowing straight down my throat as the fire in my loins gushed forth. He released his grip on my hair as suddenly as he had grasped it, and I dutifully swallowed all of his offerings. With a satisfied look on his face, he said softly, "Does that new boatswain treat you this well?"

I averted my eyes. Anything I said now could harm her—if anything, I wanted her to escape his notice and to be able to remain on this ship freely. I remained silent. He knelt down and grasped my chin in a vice grip, yanking my face upwards so I met his gaze.

"Shall I do to her what I did with your last pet?" he murmured, bringing his lips to my ear.

I felt my eyes widen and my breath become ragged at his words. I physically could not answer him—I had forgotten how to breathe. The tightness in my chest exploded and I felt my vision blur into a sea of red. A red of guilt, of sorrow, of my sins…

My mind swirled again as I felt myself falling towards the floor. More memories surfaced, each tugging at my senses, throwing them into disarray. I found myself falling headfirst into the past.

"Don't you ever wish you could just get away?" she asked me. Her dark black hair blew against the sea spray.

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

She looked right at me and whispered, "Haven't you ever dreamt of getting off this ship? Stop being a pirate and lead a normal life."

I was taken aback by the question. The sea was where I belonged — but more than that, I could not just abandon this ship. I could not abandon him.

"I didn't think so," she whispered so quietly, I wondered if she meant for me to hear.

"Where would I go? What would I do?" I asked her.

She blinked for a second. Then, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world, she said, "You could be with me."

I laughed, thinking she was making jest. "But I'm already with you!" She smiled weakly, but turned away for a moment, as though she knew that we could not last.

Forgive me, I thought desperately as I regained consciousness. Forgive me for my negligence. Forgive me for never listening to your requests…

I found myself on Sasame's bed. My clothes had been changed, and I found that I had crusted streaks of tears down my cheeks. Sasame was sitting in a chair by the edge of the bed, a book in hand, observing me with a detached curiosity. A flicker of emotion passed across his face, one that I could not decipher, and he stood.

His hand gently caressed my face, tracing the tears. And then in an unexpected gesture of kindness, he lent towards my cheek and kissed me. A slight application of pressure with his soft lips. Nothing more, nothing less. A simple kiss of a parent tucking in their child to bed.

He turned away from me and said, "You have been remiss of your duties. I expect you on deck within the hour."

"Yes, Captain," I answered immediately, rising to my feet, "I apologize for my negligence."

As I headed out of the cabin, I turned to try to ascertain his mood, but he remained faced in the opposite direction. I bowed and exited the cabin, worried about his sudden change in demeanor. I would be sure to check up on him once my duties for the day were over.

As I walked across deck, my eyes drifted over to the new cabin boy and the new boatswain. She was teaching the young boy how to tie a basic sailor's knot. The patience she brought in her instructions reminded me so strongly of her—of the motherly instinct she had embodied. A moment later, the similarity was gone; the cabin boy was venting his frustration at being unable to tie the knot and Himeno's patience was clearly wearing thin.

"Make a figure eight and then slide the shorter rope through this loop here," she explained.

"No problem! That kind of knot is easy!" the cabin boy announced while he made a hopeless mess out of his rope.

Himeno shook her head, smiling softly. She was watching the young, white-haired boy with an expression that reminded me sharply of my own in the past—the expression of the protector, of the guardian. It had many years since I had had that role for an innocent boy with snow-white hair…

"Hayate!" he called out, gasping for breath as he ran after me, "Wait up!"

I paused and turned to face him. His bright, beaming face never failed to make me smile. His innocence and his optimism despite the radical change in his life was an inspiration to me—and I wanted to protect that naivety for as long as possible.

"Sasame, I know you're tired, but bear with it for a bit, okay? We need to get back to shelter before it gets too late. It's not safe out here," I said, reaching out to pat his head.

He nodded in understanding, his dirt-streaked face lined with exhaustion. We had been spending the day stealing little bits of coin and food—which led to our eventual close calls with the police. While I had been used to this kind of life—tired from hunger, on the run—Sasame had been accustomed to better things. I reflected on how much he endured without complaint; even I did not have that nobility of character.

I pulled out a piece of bread crust from our sack of the day's spoils and handed it to him. He took it gratefully and shoveled it down as he followed beside me. He looked ready to collapse from the day's work. Street life had taken its toll; months before when I had found him he had been plump with smooth skin and a thick head of hair. Now, he was emaciated with tufts of hair missing and a layer of grime that seemed to never come off. He deserved better than this, and I wanted to make sure that he received it.

"It will get better, won't it?" he asked me once we had reached our home—a small, but dry, crevice in an old brick building wall.

I snuggled beside him to keep him warm, and pulling him close to me I murmured, "Yes, I promise you it will."

A promise I had still to fulfill. True, life as a captain of an infamous pirate ship was a clear improvement from being a street urchin. But I desired more for him. I thought briefly of the soft kiss he had given me and hoped that the sweet boy he had once been was still there. Such kindness would be the death of him—unless I was always there to protect him. To protect his happiness, his kindness and his ambition.

Himeno noticed that I had been watching her and the boy and immediately stiffened. She turned and gave me a frosty look before continuing her instructions for the boy. A part of me missed the familiarity we had developed over the time we had spent together. Though she remained in my room, she acted as if I was not present and kept to herself. It wasn't until deep into the night that I could hear the soft sobs coming from her hammock. I hoped that the new cabin boy and her new position would provide her with enough distraction from her troubles.

I felt the corners of my lips tug upward slightly as I watched the boy struggle with the knot. I made my way over to them—to Himeno's disdain—and took the boy's hands in my own. He did not freeze at my touch—perhaps he trusted me since I had resuscitated him—and allowed me to guide him through the flow of the rope. When finished, I pulled my hands back and allowed him to view his handiwork. A smile burst across his face. One of pride and self-satisfaction.

"Now try it on your own," I said. His face fell slightly, but his expression soon transformed to one of rugged determination.

As he worked with the rope, I turned to Himeno. She wavered between focusing on the cabin boy as a means to ignore me and meeting my gaze for the first time in weeks.

"How are you finding your new duties?" I asked her.

"Fine," she responded curtly, bringing her sharp gaze to meet mine.

I had missed those brilliant eyes. The tough yet also delicate eyes that had captivated me from the moment I had first seen them glaring at me from her small ship. Her audacity, her sensitivity, and her perseverance—I had never met a woman like her before. And would probably never again.

"Glad to hear, tulip head," I said, a soft smile on my face.

Her eyes narrowed at the mention of her nickname, but I could sense part of the edge in her demeanor fade. She resumed her instructions with the boy and I turned once more to survey the deck. The preparations for our soon-to-be guests were well under way—ammunition ready to go, the proud pirate banner restored and ready to fly high on the mast, and the crew riled up for the next capture.

I watched as the sun dipped towards the horizon and felt my heart race with anticipation and an anxiety I could not place.