Sometime in 2004
She'd joined the army after high school; Spencer had been tutoring her, trying to help her get a scholarship so she could go to college. When that didn't work out she joined the army. She was sent to Afghanistan, and she'd learned how to take care of herself. She spent every day in a war zone worried about Spencer, because he would be out on a case, and he wasn't allowed to carry a gun because he hasn't passed his qualifications. This was before the team became family, when they were no closer than a children's sports team. No one had his back then, except Gideon and Hotch.
She spent her free time missing and worrying. He spent his free time writing her letters, reading books, sending her facts about Afghanistan, and the locals. She lived for leave. When she got to fly home, she would sprint to him in the airport, her duffel looking huge on her tiny form, and throw herself into his arms. They would almost topple over. He would usually be wearing clothes that were the wrong size, and not matching. She didn't care though, what she cared about, was that she was the only person he would open his arms for, when everyone was looking, and catch at the airport. That he didn't mind when she couldn't stop touching him during leave, even though he hated to be touched. That he held her, when she woke up terrified, after having another nightmare about watching one of her friends dying, and that he'd tell her statistics about silly things to calm her down.
She would talk to him as much as possible, usually never more than once a week. They wrote to each other every day. She could tell from talking to him, when the team was starting to become closer. They'd stopped making jokes at his expense, had started talking to him about things other than the case. Garcia had finally asked him about his private life, and the first thing he'd said was that he'd been with Ella since he was 19, and she was the best thing that had ever happened to him, and how proud he was of her.
Everyone on the team, excluding Gideon had thought he was dateless and was too odd to have a girlfriend. Morgan had tried to get him to go out and meet women, and didn't understand why Reid refused until Garcia told him. She didn't meet the team until she was out of the army.