Part 2: Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow
"You should be able to track them south of Manaus. We were able to locate them along the Pa du Canhuma." Alice pointed to the map that was displayed across the grand dinning table.
"Don't be afraid of the locals, they won't be able to recognize your uniqueness. Most of them have only heard whispers of your kind and assume the opposite of what you are." Jasper mentioned.
"Which is what?" I asked inquisitively.
"A strikingly beautiful, young, human." Esme murmured as she kissed my forehead. "I still don't see why you must go alone."
"Agreed." Bella said with a sigh as she placed her hand a top mine.
"I'll be fine. I'm old enough to do this on my own. Plus, if I run into any trouble, I'll just make a break for Isle Esme and call you from there."
"Isle Esme." Edward said with a smile as he traced a finger across Bella's arm.
"It all started there, Nessie." Emmett chuckled. I threw a pencil at this forehead which he unfortunately caught mid-air.
"Cut it out Emmett, we all don't want to be reminded of that part of her history. So how long do you plan to be gone, Ness?" Rosalie asked from across the room. She above anyone wasn't too thrilled about me leaving.
"A year, maybe two, I really don't know." I saw everyone's face twist in pain as I spoke. "As long as it takes, I guess, but what's a few years for a family of vampires?" I spoke trying to lighten the mood. No one, apparently, had thought it funny.
"The sun is stronger down there near the equator so be wary of it. Try and stay out of its rays as much as possible. Your skin will begin to become more noticeable over time." Alice suggested.
"Oh and be careful of Serena, she has a feisty temper. She takes after her father apparently." Jasper spoke up. "Make sure to stay guarded around Jennifer, she tends to be territorial of Nahuel, and vice versa. Nahuel, although kind, is very protective of her, she is the closest one to him."
"Territorial?" I questioned not understanding.
"She will be very, very protective of him, wary of you trying to entice him into falling in love with you." Jasper stated plainly. I couldn't help but blush at his frankness.
"I wouldn't…I mean that's—"
"Of course not." My father said as he gave me a comforting wink.
"Who knows if I'll even meet them? Nahuel's sisters are migratory. They never stay in one place, let alone with him. Besides, he's over a hundred and fifty years old." I said making a slightly disgusted face.
"Didn't stop your parents." Emmett laughed, his whole body shaking from it.
"You might even see Zafrina, Senna, and Kachiri. They will probably pick up your scent, so don't be afraid if they find you." Jasper added.
"I would love to see Zafrina again." I said with a smile, remembering some of the beautiful pictures she had shown me as a child.
"Just be careful." Alice said with a sigh, her eyes glazing over as if seeing something.
"I will." I stood and gave her a hug. I stepped out of her embrace and looked around at my family.
"Well we had better say goodnight. You leave early tomorrow, the first flight out." Bella motioned her head towards the door as she stood.
"We can say goodbye tomorrow." Carlisle smiled faintly as he kissed the top of my head. "No need for goodbyes just yet."
I nodded my head and grabbed my father's extended hand. I followed behind him and my mom as we made our way out the door, leaving the rest of my family behind. I knew they wouldn't be sleeping, they never did. I was the only one who ever needed it, but somehow I wished that tonight I was just like them. That I could have one full night just to be with them all before I left.
"You okay?" My mom wrapped her arm around my waist and I laid my head on her shoulder as we followed the pebbled path down to our cottage.
"It's just harder than I thought." I mumbled into her shoulder.
"Saying goodbye always is." My father caught my mom's eyes in the dark and I wanted to ask what memory they were referring to, but I figured I had had enough of their history for one day.
The moonlight glimmered on the path as we approached our home. A funny notion passed through me, a sense that this could be the last night I would spend here caused me to shiver. I tried to press the terrible thought out of my mind.
"I'll be alright." I mumbled as we stepped into our cottage, my home for the last seventeen years. "I had better go finish packing my bag. I want as much time in the morning as possible."
"Of course, your mom and I will come check on you in a while."
"Unless you need help?"
"I'll be okay." I said with a smile before I turned to head to my room in the back of the cottage.
My half-packed bag lay atop my bed, I had begun once returning from the reservation. Just a few more shorts and shoes, a swimsuit, maybe a tank top or two and I would be good to go. What did a half-vampire, half-human wear in the middle of Brazil anyway? I shuffled around the room placing things left and right into the hiking bag before finally clamping it closed.
I was finally leaving. After years of pondering, of deciding, it was finally happening. My family was not excited about it or truly supportive, but I knew they never would be. There were a few things my family really did fall short on; being overly protective was not one of them. I knew it was going to be hard for them. I just never really had given much thought or consideration for how hard it was going to be for me. Yet here I sat, my bag fully packed, my private plane scheduled, my journey before me, and despite it all there seemed to be a large lump caught in my throat and a species of highly active butterflies caught in my stomach.
I took a deep breath and lay back on my bed. I just needed to convince myself that it all was going to be okay, that I could take care of myself, that doing this was right. I took another breath, but before I could try and convince myself harder there was a hard knock on the slidding glass door that led out into the garden.
"Hello?" I whispered as I flew to the door.
"It's me."
"Jake?" I questioned as I slide the door back. There he was, the one person I thought I wouldn't see again for a very long time. I guess a long time wasn't very long after all. "What…what are you doing here?" I asked as I stepped out into the night, closing the glass door behind me.
"Hey." Jacob exhaled, his eyes catching mine. "I know we already did all the goodbye stuff but I couldn't…I just couldn't let you go without…" Jake stood there in his khaki shorts and thin green t-shirt, his bronzed skin almost black in the moonlight. His body, although a steady 108 degrees temperature on most days, shivered in the night air. Why was he nervous?
"Without what Jake?"
The intensity held behind his eyes made me take a step backwards. He took a step towards me forcing my body to run into the door behind me.
"Without doing this." His breath was warm against my face as he spoke. His body inches from mine.
Before I could even move out of his way, he reached up and gently cupped my face in his hands. I felt myself freeze within his touch, my breath catching in my throat. In one moment I felt his lips brush mine, they were soft and smooth, warm and sweet. His scent was intoxicating; the smell of musk, grass, cinnamon, and fresh fallen rain filled my nose.
His lips moved against mine tenderly, his hands firmly held me to him, his warm body pressed up against mine. It took me a second to realize what was happening, to realize that Jacob Black, my Jake, the person whom I had known my whole life was kissing me. Instinctively my brain and body began to finally react. I fought him, my arms trying to push him away, pulling my face away from his.
"Jake, please." I spoke fervently as I tried to free myself from his hold. I felt a tear fall across my cheek, but I didn't understand why.
"Please, Ness, don't go. Stay here, stay with me."
I had never heard Jacob talk this way. Jacob who was always solid, secure, strong, looked so fragile, so vulnerable standing there in front of me, shaking, his face nearly inches from mine. I knew in that moment that I could kiss him back, that I could give into the part of me that had somehow come to care for him more than anyone in the world. I knew that I could stay here with him. I could do that, and for him, for my Jake, I nearly would.
"I'm sorry, Jake. I…can't. I just…I just can't."
I felt the tears stream down my face as I spoke, I didn't have the strength to brush them away. Jake's gaze never left mine. His eyes seemed to penetrate me in that moment, as if he was reading me, listening to my heart, trying to understand my mind, my emotions. When he seemed to have his answer he took a step back.
"Renesmee, are you okay?" I heard my father call from the other side of the door.
"She's fine Edward. I was just leaving." Jacob spoke aloud.
He took a single deep breath and with one reach he wiped away the tears that had streamed down my face. He took another step backwards away from me, then another step away from the garden, another step away from the cottage. I kept my eyes fixed on him until he reached the edge of the forest. I watched him turn one last time, his gaze on me.
"Goodbye, Ness." I heard him whisper across the distance. I began to raise my hand but he had turned and vanished into the darkness of the forest.
"Jake." I heard myself cry.
Within moments my father appeared in front of me. It had seemed easier for him to go around the cottage than through the closed door just behind me.
"Renesmee?" He questioned as he looked into my face.
It took me a moment before I was brave enough to look up at him. Yet when I did I crumpled into his arms. On instinct, as if I was suddenly a toddler again, my father picked me up and held me to him. He opened the door to my room and in a swift movement sat me on my bed, where my mother was waiting for me. There underneath my parents loving embrace, I laid the tears of my confused and wandering heart.