It was hard to persuade Allen to return with me to the Order. He made me stop by a doctor and have his gray skin covered with bandages before allowing me to lead him back. The whole time, he was silent – that is, until we actually got to his room. He turned to me, and for the first time, I saw his façade. I saw the pain in his gaze, right through the fake smile that he wore. It stunned me.

"Thank you, Kanda. Don't tell anyone about this, okay? Who knows what they'd do to me if they found out…" Before I could say anything in reply, he turned away, slamming the door.

I reported that I found him to the worrying Lenalee on my way back to my room when she stopped and asked me. I told her that he just needed to be alone for a while, and was really tired. I lied, saying that he had left to go someplace that was quiet and had fresh air to try to combat a migraine that he was having. The taste of the lie stayed in my mouth until I got to my room, and I hated it. Lying was one of my least favorite things, right up top with seeing Allen in pain and the thought of him becoming an enemy. I bit my bottom lip until it bled, scrunching my eyebrows as I thought. Why the short stack? Why was he becoming a… No. He wasn't becoming a Noah. He was just… Sick. Yes, that's it. Sick. Nothing more.

I was in complete denial. I couldn't help it, though. The thought of the cute little bean sprout becoming my enemy was just too much for me to handle. I had enough to worry about as it was. Missions, trying to confess, worrying, caring… My plate was full. And it was mentally exhausting to be feeling so much. And I was only feeling all of these emotions because of him. God knows how he made me this way.

For several days, Allen remained in his room. My worry was only growing, along with my feelings of irritation and annoyance. The idiot wasn't even eating! I headed down to the mess hall, ordering several plates of random foods, carrying them all up to the shorty's room. After knocking, I hear a clink and some hurried rustling. After a few long minutes of waiting, the door opens a crack. He looks at me with his good eye through the crack, opening the door completely when he sees that it's just me and a bunch of food, and I smirk when I hear his stomach growl. But when I see him after he opened the door, I have a bad feeling.

He's covering his face with a mask, and he's wearing a rather heavy sweater.

I walk in, and after I do, I notice how quick he is to shut the door. I turn to him, questions rolling off of my tongue as I set the plates down. "What's with the mask, and what's with the sweater? It's summer, and, last I checked, you only needed an eye patch for the gray." He sighs, taking off the face-hiding garment without even arguing.

I'm silent. The entire right side of his face is now gray, as if his skin was infected with some kind of rotting bacteria. He smiles at me grimly after noticing my reaction.

"Isn't it ugly? Look, Kanda. I'm a monster."

I grit my teeth and glare at him. "You are nowhere near being as bad as a monster. The worst you can do is annoy me. A monster kills other people without thinking or regretting it."

"Well, I'm on my way to becoming a Noah. That's close enough to becoming a monster, isn't it?"

I growl at him. "No! You're just sick, that's all! You need food and rest. And you need to stop saying bad things about yourself."

He scoffs at the idea, taking a bite of what I brought up for him to eat.

"Everyone's worried, including me," I scold him, "And do you know how annoying that is?"

"Sorry to worsen your already permanent bad mood," he grumbles in response. My blood boils. I've had enough of this. I grab him by his wrists, pinning him down on his bed, glaring down at him, yelling.

"You're such an idiot! How do you think me and the others have been feeling ever since you locked yourself away?! Lenalee's a wreck, Lavi, Krory, and Miranda are all nervous, and I'm-! I'm…"

"You're what?" he asks defiantly.

"I'm just as bad as Lenalee," I grumble. He gazes up at me, his eyes big and his expression filled with surprise. "Bottom line is, we all want you back on your feet. We're all friends, even if I don't act like it. Even if I'm quiet and act like I hate you all almost as much as I hate Akuma, I really do care. And I'd appreciate it if the thought of us caring about you and worrying about you will get through your thick little skull and make it to your even smaller brain, because you need to think about how your actions are affecting us: your friends." He averts his eyes to stare at the wall on one of the sides of his bed.

"…Will you let go? My wrists are starting to hurt." This statement baffles me. I'm not even holding them down or squeezing them very hard… I am holding them firmly so that he can't get away, but – suddenly, a thought dawns on me.

Hurting wrists. Heavy sweater. Angry disposition. Depressed manner. It all makes sense. I let go, quickly grabbing hold of one of his arms and pulling the sleeve up. He cries in shock and retaliates, trying to shake me off. But it's too late. I saw. And I'm far more shocked than I was before, my eyes wider than moons.

"Why did you do that?!" he yells at me as though I've just done something horribly stupid. "Why did you-!"

"Why did you do that?!" I scream back at him, pointing to his wrists. He flinches, suddenly looking guilty. "You hurt yourself! I can't believe this! You cut yourself!"

"…I didn't…"

"You didn't what?! Don't tell me you didn't cut, I see the-!"

"I'm not saying that I didn't cut!" he interrupts, crying. "I'm saying that I didn't want anyone to see… I didn't want anyone to find out… Not you, not anyone…" he darkly, sadly laughs through his tears.

"I just didn't want to turn into a monster… I cut because it made the pain go away. I cut because it made me forget…"

I'm just watching him with my wide eyes, which moisten, but I hold back any tears that threaten to form. I'm listening to his reasoning, thinking of how I can reverse this damage that has been done to him, thinking of how I can make all of this pain end. That's when he suddenly screeches, falling swiftly to his knees, grasping and cradling his head. I'm by his side instantly, asking what's wrong, what's going on.

"Go away!" he cries. "Make them go away!" I hold him, fear clouding my ordinarily calm, irritated gaze. I search around, not understanding. I don't know what to do. I don't know what's causing him such pain.

"Make what go away?!" I ask in my stupor of horror. Finally, his fit of screams and terror ends, and he crumples into my arms, sobbing and completely limp. I hold him for a long while before he finally answers, looking up at me with a face filled with fear, agony, and pain.

"Kanda, ever since I started to change, they started to haunt me... They started to talk and call me the monster that I'm becoming… Please, make them go away…"

"Make what go away?" I ask again, my voice soft for once, as I am still in shock.

"The voices in my head…"

Well, this one was fun for me. I had a bit of trouble at first putting my idea for this chapter into words, but as soon as I had figured it out and started, it just flowed and, before I knew it, was finished. This story is going to keep getting darker, just to warn you. For thoughts, please review!