GUEST REVIEWS THAT ARE DISRESPECTFUL WILL BE DELETED!

IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY TAKE ON THE CHARACTERS – STOP READING!

NEGATIVE REVIEWS BY PEOPLE LOGGED IN WILL BE ANSWERED VIA PRIVATE MESSAGE, LIKE I HAVE IN THE PAST. I LIKE TO OPEN A DIALOG BUT CAN'T ON NEGATIVE, DISRESPECTFUL GUEST REVIEWS!

Illegitimi non carborundum!

To the Trolls, or should I say "Damaged People":

I look forward to deleting your reviews, reporting you, and dancing on your cyber-graves. When you say you will stop reading the story because you don't approve of my take on a fictional character, then please stop reading. I can't help but wonder if it's a form of OCD that keeps you coming back to read even after you vow desperately not to do so. There's medication for that you know. It won't offend me if you don't come back.

If you're like this online, I can only imagine what you are like in real life. I feel pity for your family, neighbors, co-workers, and most of all you, because you didn't deserve whatever happened to make you the way you are. I hope you can overcome it and cease attempting to lash out at others.

My best passive aggressive wishes!

Note to readers: (Guess I'm taking my stand!)

Thank you readers for your support via private messages and reviews. To those who replied as guests with positive messages, I want to make sure I say that my anger was not toward the constructive guest reviewers, but rather those unstable trolls who enjoy causing emotional harm to others. See my post in the forums regarding trolling. Maybe if enough of us raise a stink, they'll do something!

They say, don't let the assholes get you down. Unfortunately two weeks ago there must have been something in the water as it became readily apparent that there were plenty of "trolls" to be found on this site. I wasn't the only victim and honestly, my troll wasn't as bad as some others I've heard about. I spent a day of dealing with someone I beta that was trolled into tears. It makes for a rough day, when someone you care about and who has talent, is left in tears by someone who clearly has mental health issues – it's really tough. Unfortunately, there are a few unstable trolls on this site, based on reading through reviews on random stories yesterday. My personal troll has been around my reviews for roughly six weeks. I know who she is in terms of a pen name on this site, but will not disclose her identity without proof could be taken as slander.

A note to Ina & Yocasta, who sent me a guest review German & Italian respectively (thank you Google Translate!).

Ina - Ich danke Ihnen für Ihre freundlichen Worte und Gott sei Dank für Google übersetzen! Ihre Worte wurden sehr geschätzt. Ich wünschte, ich Deutsch sprach, aber leider kann ich nur sprechen Spanisch, Englisch, Katalanisch, und etwas Portugiesisch. Sie sind genial und ich hoffe, Gogle Übersetzen bekam dieses Recht. Ana-

Yocasta, Lei ha assolutamente ragione. Non posso permettere loro di inseguire me fuori del sito e la scrittura. Apprezzo le tue parole incoraggianti! Grazie!

So after reading some encouraging reviews and private messages, I've realized that I/We can't allow the trolls to win. I wasn't alone. I had plenty of authors on this site PM me with their troll tales. So I've decided that I'm going keep writing as a proverbial slap in the face to the anonymous trolls and I'm asking others to please add the tagline to their stories, at either the start or the end of the chapters, that reads:

Nurture the creative flame, don't extinguish it!

Stop literature bullying now!

In the words of Bartels & James from all those ads years ago, we thank you for your support!

Chapter 15 - Paralysis

It's been three months since Anastasia's viral video and even longer since I had a submissive. Elena has been badgering me almost daily for what feels like ages now, sending me new submissive pictures and limits, yet I've told her repeatedly that I'm trying to distance myself from the lifestyle. She's worse than the media. She just won't go away. I heard Sawyer assign her code name Herpes a last week. It was amusing.

I haven't heard much from Anastasia other than text or emails since she was released from the hospital after her live interview. She'd spent a few days there being treated for a minor blood clot to the brain, which caused her headaches, intermittent periods of blurred vision, and some balance issues. Elliot said what we saw on the live interview was Anastasia as she always is, though a little less shy because of Kate. She's shy and can be feisty, or as Elliot calls her, Sheisty. According to Sawyer the doctors said the blood clot was a complication from her last surgery, but she was doing really well now and completely recovered from both the accident and the shooting. I'm relieved.

After being released from the hospital, she returned to Montesano for two weeks, before returning to Seattle. According to Elliot it was nice to see her slowly come out of her shell and start to take control of her life. She found a job at a large hardware store in the evenings, six hours per day, five days per week; went into intensive one-on-one therapy with Flynn, along with weekly group therapy for abuse victims; volunteered at a few local charities including a food bank for a few hours per week, and at Coping Together every Saturday for another eight hours before heading to her shift at the hardware store. My mother pulled Kate into volunteering, who dragged Anastasia along. Each was assigned a mentor for their first year so they can learn the ropes. Other than that, Elliot said she was locked away in her bedroom spending a ridiculous amount of hours on her computer writing her novel.

Like Anastasia, I've spent an inordinate amount of time visiting with Dr. Flynn since her accident. It's a miracle that our paths haven't crossed there. Since our Zoolander movie night, part of me felt like it was Anastasia's way of forgiving me, but also that she was throwing the ball in my court in terms of our friendship. It left me feeling overjoyed, yet at the same time catatonic. I've never been just friends with a woman, unless you count Ros, but let's be real, she has bigger balls than I do. Hell, where Ana's concerned, I want more from her, yet I'm terrified if I push too fast, I'll scare her away.

The entire friendship-slash-relationship thing is outside my scope of knowledge and way outside my comfort zone. No matter how encouraging and guiding Flynn is – I'm adrift in a sea of uncertainty, so rather than try, I've allowed our interaction to be limited to occasional text messages and even fewer emails. All the while, being consumed by the lack of control I have over this one portion of my life. As much as I've tried to manipulate Flynn, he's treating both of us, so he can't disclose anything to me that she states in her sessions. He's had to walk a fine line between us and he's done a great job of it. This just pisses me off and at the same time makes me appreciate him more – yet another dichotomy in my life. I have the satisfaction of knowing that he protects my secrets, yet I can't access hers. Fucking Flynn is in control. FUCK!

While it's been overwhelming on one front, it's helped me grow closer to my family, and for the first time ever, I really allowed myself feel like I'm actually part of it. Elliot, my dad, and I now have a guys night every other week where we either head to a sports event, sail, fish, or on occasion, head to the nearest batting cage. Even I've been shocked at how much I enjoy those days after my initial hesitance about them. It feels normal.

My mother is thrilled at the progress I've made these past months. All it took was allowing myself to hug her and be hugged by her. The first few times were awkward and I nearly had an anxiety attack, but after that I started to relax. Hell, even Elliot has taken to swatting me on the back when he greets me. A few months ago, if he did that, I would have reflexively taken a swing at him. I'm getting used to it now.

In so many ways, my life is better, yet I know I still have secrets from my family when it comes to Elena and my previous lifestyle. I want Anastasia Steele in my life. I, Christian Trevelyan Grey, want more. Now I understand all too clearly, what some of my submissives felt. I can empathize with them. Who'd have thought, the man who lacked empathy, discovered it, and it fucking hurts. I feel like the Grinch on Christmas morning. It both sucks, because I now understand how empty my life has been, but it's also wonderful, because I finally have allowed myself to feel like I'm truly part of this family. I value it more than I ever have, yet beneath is the almost overwhelming fear that my family will discover my secrets and I'll lose what I now treasure most – them. It's absolutely terrifying.

As a favor to my father, here I sit on a late, rainy, Friday afternoon reviewing the financial records of Seattle Independent Publishing. Financially they are in the toilet due to poor financial management, shoddy contracting, and the inability to secure new talent. The doors will shut in under four months unless they pull off a miracle or are purchased by a larger company, but as they are now, they are only good as a tax write off. They've lost almost all credibility in the industry. It would take a large infusion of cash over a period of a few years before there would be a chance at making a profit and even then, it was iffy as many publishers were in financial turmoil. E-books and self-publishing were more commonplace, so traditional publishers needed to adapt, merge, or close. Publishing a novel didn't require a literary agent or a traditional publisher anymore, just a good editor, brains, and Internet savvy.

Because of Anastasia and her love of books, I've had Ros keep her eye on the local publishing companies. Locally, there are three that are viable to turn around, SIP, and one little upstart that has two of their first five books in the top ten e-books in the country right now and another three are in the top fifty and climbing. Ros is watching the little e-book engine that could, as she calls E-House Publishing LLC to see if it has any follow up success or if it's a fluke.

Gwen, Ros's better half, is an avid reader, stay-at-home mom, and a former editor for Harper Collins has been watching E-House since their first published book went to the top of the best sellers list. She'd read all of their published works – all five, and stated they had a knack for spotting untapped talent. If anything, I'd take a risk on E-House before SIP.

After a long drawn out call with my father regarding SIP, I call it a week. Tonight I am having dinner with Elliot and Kate at their place. It should be interesting as neither of them can boil water. Sawyer even provided me with an antacid on the way over – just in case.

Taylor and Gail were off this evening due to a play at Sophie's school. Since Sawyer returned to work all I've wanted to do is ask him about Anastasia. I know he'd gotten close to both her and Ray, so he probably knew exactly what was going on with her new life. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. It could be perceived as being too intrusive. I was so obsessed with the possibility of scaring her away, that I laid the first drip of the ocean growing between us by not walking through the movie night door she opened a few months ago. Yes, I'm fifty shades of lost sometimes.

Over the past few months Kate and Elliot have gotten serious. Elliot sold his bachelor pad and moved in with Kate, while Grey Construction built their new house. They've been engaged for just a few weeks, even though they'd only been dating for a few months before that. I'm hoping Anastasia will be there even if she is locked away in her room writing, I know Elliot can coax her out for a visit. He had the ability to talk people into just about anything. He could convince Satan to French kiss the Pope or even vice-versa. Hell, he even got Kate to be civil toward me. Fucking miracle! Note to Pope: Canonize Elliot after forgiving his carnal sins.

I was pleasantly surprised when I arrived at the apartment that they'd ordered food from Gaudi, an excellent Spanish restaurant. No wonder they wanted me to bring a Spanish wine. I was disappointed that Anastasia wasn't home. Elliot commented that she was working until ten, but she wasn't coming home tonight as she was heading to her new apartment because the cable installer was coming first thing in the morning.

"She's moving? Why?" I asked curiously. More importantly I wanted to know where. She couldn't live in a safe area on what she earned at the hardware store. I know because I've kept an eye on her.

"The new house will be done in six weeks," Kate explained with a frustrated sigh. "This place goes on the market next week. I offered to rent it to her on the cheap side, but she refused stating it's time she stood on her own two feet." Kate rolled her eyes. "I'm worried about her Christian. You know in a halfway decent neighborhood a one bedroom apartment, hell even a studio apartment in Seattle isn't cheap and she won't tell us where she's moving to, which means she's probably embarrassed by the area."

"I don't think Ray would allow her to live in an unsafe area," Elliot sighs. "Not after everything his little girl has been through."

"You need to remember, shy, demure, little Anastasia can be headstrong and defiant," Kate muttered in exasperation. "I mean, Ray offered to help her replace her Wanda, but Ana shut him down. If it weren't for Sawyer teaching her about car repair every Sunday and helping her restore the damned thing, she'd be busing it late at night, and I'm sorry, that's just not safe. And that's not even the worst of it."

"What do you mean?" I can't help but ask.

"I dragged Ana to volunteer with me at Coping Together and we were each assigned a mentor. Mine is great, but Ana's is just that awful woman Elena Lincoln. I mean I know she's a friend of your family, but she gives me the fucking creeps. I don't like her around Ana. She's trying to fix her up with this guy Eric Dali who's even creepier than Mrs. Lincoln is if that's possible. I've warned Ana about them, but she believes they are fine. She's so naive sometimes that I want to choke her."

Just listening to Kate has my anxiety level climbing through the roof. How the fuck did Anastasia get teamed up with Elena? When I ask Kate, her answer shocks her – my mother teamed them up after Mrs. Lincoln practically begged her to pair them together. Fuck!

"Sawyer!" I yell, causing him to rush in from the hallway.

"Sir," he replies calmly.

"How much do you know about Anastasia's involvement with Coping Together?" I ask as I run my fingers through my hair – it's my bat-signal that indicates I'm ready to blow.

I can see him hesitate for a moment before he replies. "She's there Wednesday afternoons for a few hours and Saturdays volunteering. Beyond that, she doesn't say much about it, though I know she is enjoying helping."

"We are concerned about her well-being while she is there," I reply taking Sawyer by surprise. I know what he's thinking, it's a Grey charity; it should be secure. I make certain his eyes are fixed on mine when I add, "Miss Kavanagh is concerned because she dislikes Anastasia's mentor, Mrs. Lincoln. Would you be open to watching over that situation and making sure she is secure whenever she is with Mrs. Lincoln or her associates?"

"You know I will sir, after all, it's Ana," he replies struggling to maintain his impassive stance.

"Thank you Sawyer," I reply dismissing him.

Dinner was filling – good food, good conversation, and we watched the Real Madrid game Elliot taped Wednesday. The agreement we had was neither of us was supposed to watch the game or check the score before we got to watch it. I didn't care about the game though. I was distracted worrying about Anastasia. I couldn't allow Elena to get her talons into my girl. Well, one day I hoped she'd be my girl.

I know the car ride to Escala will be filled with questions on his part. Between now and then, I need to figure out how to place Sawyer as Ana's CPO without jeopardizing their friendship or pushing her away. What the hell does Elena want with Anastasia? Is she trying to turn her into a submissive? It won't work, well at least not based on my experience with her, but Elena is manipulative and that, more than anything, concerns me.

No sooner than Sawyer and I were heading back to Escala, I said, "I want to have this conversation once, so when we get back to Escala, we'll have a meeting of the minds with Taylor."

"I'll make sure he's ready sir," Sawyer replied before clicking on his hands free and making the call.

During the ride I decide to reach out to Anastasia. I need to make sure Elena isn't screwing with her head. Chicken shit that I am, I send a text.

Grey: Good evening Anastasia. Are you free for lunch tomorrow?

Ana: Sorry Mr. Grey, I'm volunteering tomorrow from 12-5 if my cable installer arrives on time.

Grey: What about dinner then?

Ana: I'm working at the hardware store from 6 to close tomorrow.

Grey: Sunday then?

Ana: I have plans with my dad and Luke all day Sunday. I'll be out of town.

Grey: Lunch Monday?

Ana: I'm working at the food bank Monday from 8 to 3, after that getting a haircut before heading to work from 5 to close. Sorry Mr. Grey.

Anastasia Steele has to be the single most frustrating woman I've ever known. I can't help but feel she's trying to avoid me, but I'm pulled out of the beginning of my self-loathing tailspin when my phone vibrates.

Ana: Are you a morning person Mr. Grey?

Grey: I am.

Ana: I have a 6 am business meeting at Voxx Coffee House on Eastlake. If all runs smoothly I'll be out of there with my contract in hand by 6:30. The cable installer is due between 9 and noon, so, if you'd like, we can have breakfast. I was going to Bubba's Crepe House after that to grab some of their decadence to take home, but if you are free, perhaps we can have breakfast there.

Grey: Bubba's at 7 it is then. Good night Anastasia.

Ana: Sweet dreams Mr. Grey.

There is nothing better than late on a Friday night being summoned to an eleven pm meeting with the boss. Gail is warm and cozy in our bed, and I'm stuck here. This had better be good. All Luke texted me right before they headed back was Elena Fucking Lincoln. He didn't need to say more. I know the boss was trying to avoid her like the plague. It's hard to believe one little co-ed could have such an impact on his life, especially since he hasn't seen her in months.

Ana opened the proverbial door with movie night, but so far, Grey's just staring at it like it will do tricks. He's used to women throwing themselves and their cleavage at them. The one time he pursued someone, well, Ana set his dysfunctional ass straight. The rug was pulled out from under him and months later he's still off-balance.

I expected Elena Lincoln to be an issue at some point. I mean she's bombarding him with pictures and contracts for a new submissive for months now. Hell, she's stalking him worse than he stalked Miss Steele, and that's saying something. Now at least we know where the boss acquired his stalking skills. Now if that fucking bitch would get her talons out of him, my life would be simple.

It's been nice to see the boss spend time working through some issues. He's spent more time with family over the past few months than he had in the past four years. His sessions with Flynn appear to be constructive. Gail has been thrilled to watch him adapt. Heck, he's even asked her advice on occasion with regard to Miss Steele, but regardless of the advice provided, he remains paralyzed. I'd say it's amusing if I didn't feel bad for the guy.

Luke's been back for a few weeks now. I know it took some convincing to get him to come back as having spent so much time with the Steele's and knowing how Grey felt about Ana, he felt his loyalties were split. Luke was the first in his family to join the military and go to war. His father was unable to grasp what soldiers go through, but the friendship he struck up with Ray Steele became important to him. Hell, Ray became important to the four of us – Luke, Reynolds, Ryan, and even me. He understands where we are coming from. He's been there after all. In Ray, Luke found a surrogate father on that one issue and an outlet. In the end, it was Ray, who convinced him to remain working for Grey. How do I know? Well, I was there the night of that conversation – just three ex-military guys in a bar.

Leave it to Ray to point out something we'd all missed – if Maggie Jameson ditched the stolen car near Mount Saint Helen's, how did she get back to Seattle? She was winging it based on the timeline and her impulsive actions, so she couldn't have planned where she was ditching the SUV. How the fuck did we all miss that? I feel like a keystone cop.

We checked, there were no records of her renting a car, no signs of hitchhikers in the area where the car was ditched, no hotel record either. The only conclusion we could draw was she had help. Now whether that help was intentional or just some schmuck now afraid of jail time that she pulled into it, we didn't know. But in the end, it was Ray who found the hole in the neat package the Seattle PD and the Troopers put together.

Since that conversation took place, I had a member of Welch's team keep an eye on our Miss Steele when she wasn't at work or with Luke. I will admit, there was a part of me that was shocked at how much time Ana spent with Sawyer when he wasn't at work. A little part of me wondered if there wasn't more than friendship there. Gail tried to knock that out of my head really fast when she reminded me that Sawyer liked the ladies a little too much and his predilection was toward redheads. Still, I was going to keep an eye on that situation. The boss would be devastated – well, after he tried to kick Sawyer's ass. In a fight, I'd put my money on Sawyer.

By the time Sawyer and the boss arrived and we sat in the security room all I wanted to do was sleep. That ended quickly when the boss informed me that Ana was volunteering at Coping Together, which I knew, but her mentor was none other than Elena Fucking Lincoln. He rambled on about the bitch introducing Ana to a Dom even more screwed up than the troll herself was. I texted Welch the details on Eric Dali and requested an in-depth background check. I knew Ana wasn't that type of girl, but Grey wasn't a slouch and the bitch got her claws into him. When he mentioned something about Ana signing a contract tomorrow morning at Voxx, I made sure I'd send someone there to watch over her and hopefully get details.

"Lastly, Anastasia is moving out of Miss Kavanagh's apartment. I want you to find out where she is going to live and make sure she has covert security," the boss ordered. I could tell he was nervous with Sawyer present. "Given Miss Steele's financial situation, I highly doubt she will be living in a decent neighborhood."

The boss and I turned to Sawyer, who was now shifting uncomfortably in his chair. I'm certain he knows where Ana is moving to, but not offering the details to us. Frankly, I don't blame him. The boss has changed a lot in the past few months, but still has a long road ahead of him. "Just say it Luke," I order.

He turns to Grey and asks, "Permission to speak freely without consequence Sir?"

The boss nods reluctantly.

"Look, I understand that you like Ana. I really do, but I'm stuck in the middle here. I'm her friend but I also work for you. It's the reason I almost didn't come back to work. I'm loyal to my friends and loyal to my employer, but this thin line I've been skating since I came back, well, it's got to end. I know you've been watching her twenty-four seven since the accident. I've seen the surveillance team when we spend time together," Sawyer snaps before turning to me. "And T, how the fuck can I be your second in command if there's shit going on you don't tell me about? I know whatever happened to Ana is probably not fully over. There's another person who helped Jameson, but we need to make sure she knows to be careful."

"I forbid it. I don't want her to worry," Grey snaps at Luke.

"Unfortunately Mr. Grey, you can't forbid me to tell her. Ray told me his theory before he even mentioned it to Taylor, so technically it's not covered by the NDA I signed," Sawyer snapped back bitterly.

"If you tell her you are fired," the boss explodes, but I have to hand it to Sawyer, he just laughs.

"Mr. Grey, I don't need this job. I've done decently for myself investing my salary. Well that, plus two jobs ago I had a morbidly obese female billionaire sexually harass me. While disgusting, it was worth the settlement," Sawyer shivers.

It's amusing to see Luke 'I'll screw any redhead with a hot body and decent personality' Sawyer shiver at the thought of his harasser. I mean, Sawyer's six-six plus and the biggest guy on the security team. Hell, even I wouldn't want to go head to head with him when he's pissed off. I've seen it. The aftermath is not pretty. He's a protective guy. That happens when you have three older sisters who he'd protect with his life. I'll always remember that night in the bar in Texas, when Grey gave us the night off. Four douche bags were harassing a teeny tiny waitress. Sawyer made short work of those guys a split second after the first one touched her.

"Have you ever been in combat Mr. Grey?" Luke asks.

The boss shakes his head no. Sawyer knew the answer to that question. I know the point he's about to make.

"You never forget the people who stand by your side on the battlefield. You bond with them. They are your brothers. In this case, she's like a kid sister to me," he continues more quietly as he hands the boss his GEH identification card. "I'm done here. I choose Ana and her Ray over my job. I can protect her better if I'm not here all the time and I know she'll allow me to do just that once I tell her Ray's suspicions."

The boss looks stunned as Sawyer gets up and starts emptying his pockets. After he leaves his GEH issued gear including numerous work identification, car keys, credit card, note pad, phone and other electronics. Before he turns to leave, he warns the boss one last time. "Right now, she's safe, happy, and moving forward with her life. You and your former lifestyle are like kryptonite to her, so if you want to date her, then date her, but she's not your sub. She's not to be disrespected or beaten and fucked like a plaything you can discard. You disrespect her and you deal with me. I promise you, it won't be pretty."

I can see the boss slowly stand and his posture change. He's in Dom mode. "Who do you think you fucking are Sawyer?"

Sawyer smirked as he glared down at him. Nope, the boss didn't intimidate Luke one bit. It was impressive. "What if someone tried to take your sister Mia to a playroom like yours where he disrespected her, beat her and fucked her without regard for her well-being? Would anything stop you from destroying the guy? Now consider this, I've got six inches in height on you, fifty pounds of muscle, ex-special forces, and all kinds of paramilitary training. It's why you hired me after all. Just stay on the path you've been on the past few months and we won't have a problem."

The boss merely nodded as he contemplated Luke's words.

"Enjoy Bubba's tomorrow," Sawyer said knowingly as he walked toward the elevators. "Ana's favorites are the dulce de leche crepe and the nutella crepes. She keeps trying to get them to combine the two and add shaved peanut butter cups in them but they won't budge. Perhaps you'll have better luck getting them to do it for her. Oh and don't try to eat off her place or she'll lightly poke your hand with her fork. She protects her precious crepes."

The boss looked at me uncertainly as Sawyer waited for the elevator. "He's playing the role of big brother sir. The ball is in your court. We can't afford to lose him. Ana will listen to him, so you're better off with Luke on your side."

I waited for the boss to give me a signal regarding letting Luke walk or not. Frankly, I think they both want the same thing – to keep her safe. Finally the boss orders me to bring Sawyer back, make him Ana's CPO, give him a raise, and his own small team. He decided to tell Ana his concerns in the morning about Jameson potentially having an accomplice.

Why do I feel like I'm the one who's going to be walking the tightrope around both of them now?