Chapter 13: Newlyweds

The townspeople congratulated their mayor for the next weeks. Joe didn't seem like he had time to see us, since he was with his new "lady friend", Natalie. For the next couple months, the three of us have gotten busy with renovating the town, even if we all couldn't see each other do it. Bunkhouses for people to sleep in were built for people who can't afford Moriarty's rooms. Victoria hired people to scavenge food for the vault and the town. Before we knew it, the town was thriving with newcomers from other towns. Any raider who got close to the town was swiftly executed by our new and improved guards, who have been trained by Joe and I. Weapons have been shipped to Megaton so the townspeople and guards can feel safer. Sniper rifles have been shipped in for our new watch tower, along with more automatic rifles for the outside guards and patrols. Things were looking better out here, for us, and the town, and better yet, me. Victoria and I have been together for a long time, and our relationship was unbreakable by anything and anyone. Joe has gotten used to our relationship over time, we figured this out by the jokes he made towards us while we worked. Victoria started living with me as soon as our new house was built and we moved out of our old one. For once, things out here were finally looking up, and it was about to get better.

I was trimming my hair and beard in my bathroom one day when Victoria walked in with Joe.

"Jace, it's us, come downstairs!" Victoria shouted.

I walked downstairs and saw Joe and Victoria sitting at the dining table.

"Come here, I've got to tell you both something." She said, sitting down.

I walked to the table where Victoria left water and some cups. I sat down and Joe grabbed a cup and started to drink, inspecting it as he drank it.

"Eh, I'd rather have some booze. Drinking this is just-"

"I'm pregnant." Victoria interrupted. Joe choked on his water and spat it up onto the floor.

"Christ, Jace! I didn't even know you knew how to do that!" Joe exclaimed.

"Are you sure?" I asked, ignoring Joe's outburst.

"The mothers around here told me after I told them about my symptoms; they say I'm most likely pregnant." She said.

"That's great!" I laughed.

"Call me uncle Joe!" Joe yelled. We laughed.

"So, you're happy?" Victoria asked. I forgot to smile at her, so I did.

"Happy? I'm ecstatic! I'm… gonna be a father! What about you?" I asked.

"I'm just as happy as you are about it, but it's just that... I don't know if I'm actually pregnant. Is there any way to find out?" Victoria asked.

"The vault has pregnancy and gender tests, we could go there." I guessed.

"Alright, we could do that." She nodded. I got up and hugged her. I then smiled as much as I could and we kissed.

We packed up our things and headed for the vault. We've memorized the path to the vault and could go there with our eyes closed now, as Joe and I were the lead caravan drivers for the trading missions. The trip there seemed fast, before we knew it, we were already there. We went to Rachel's office to ask her where they were. She was working fast at her desk, with papers and technologies scattered all around her.

"Hey guys, what do you need?" Rachel asked.

"Hey there, Rachel..." Joe said as he inched closer to her.

"Joe, if I told you once, I've told you a million times already, I'm not going out with you, get that through your head." Rachel said. Joe sighed.

"That's fine, Rachel..." Joe said. "Bitch…" He whispered in the same optimistic voice he used in the beginning.

"He's got a pretty deep relationship with this girl already." Vee told her.

"How gentlemanly of him." Rachel smiled slightly.

"Yeah, they also like to break up every second month."

"Wow, a good round number, so what is it you guys would like?" Rachel asked.

"We need some pregnancy and baby gender tests." I smiled.

"Sure, we have a bunch of those, who's it for? If you don't mind me asking." Rachel questioned.

"It's for Victoria; we want to know if she's pregnant." I said.

"Oh, okay. They're in the doctor's office." She smiled.

"Thanks, Rachel." I nodded.

The three of us walked out towards the office. I thought I heard a sigh on the way out of the office, but I wasn't too sure. We went inside the office and saw a robot inside with several metal arms with medical tools on it, sticking out of its circular body. It floated in the air by a small jet coming from below it. I looked at it, confused. Joe raised an eyebrow at it.

"What are you?" I asked.

"Mr. Handy model number 10b-1187a 'Andy'." The robot said in a posh tone.

"Your name's Andy, huh? What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I have been issued here to perform medical treatment on subjects, sir." Andy said.

"So, you replaced my father, is that it? Great. Do you have any pregnancy and gender tests around here?" I asked.

"Of course, sir. The containment unit behind me holds several." Andy explained.

"Thanks." I said, with an ungrateful tone.

"I—I don't think I like robots, Jace." Joe whispered to me as he stared at the floating machine.

I walked to the closet behind Andy and opened it. I found the tests and took one of each. I gave it to Victoria.

"It has the instructions on it. Good luck." I said.

"I don't need luck. This isn't a speech I'm making in the bathroom, Jace."

"The amount of time you spend in there…" Joe mumbled.

Victoria read the instructions and elbowed Joe at the same time as she walked away. We waited in Rachel's office for Victoria to come by with the news. She walked inside the door. Rachel, Joe and I looked at her with our eyes wide open.

"I'm having a girl!" She screamed.

We jumped up and cheered.

"Congratulations!" Rachel smiled.

"Thanks! So, what are we going to name it?" Victoria asked.

"Svetlana, the only woman who scored a 9 on the sexy-scale." Joe said.

"No." We all said at once.

"How about Xanex?" Rachel suggested as she typed quickly into her terminal with a pencil tied into her loosely made bun.

"Uh… no." Vee denied.

"Dammit this kid's gonna be born before we can name it." I sighed.

Joe looked at the floor and bit his lip. "What about Sarah?"

"Hold on, was that a serious suggestion?" I asked, surprised and sarcastic.

"I can be serious sometimes." Joe folded his arms.

"I like it, what about you guys?" I asked them.

"I like it!" Victoria said.

"I guess it's better than Xanex."

"Hold on. Svetlana." Joe snapped.

We ignored Joe, and Victoria and I hugged and kissed.

"I just hope she'll be safe with Chain still around." Victoria muttered.

My smile went into a frown quickly. "We'll hire more guards and doctors, then. Easy fix, Vee." Joe said, putting his arms back.

"Yeah…" I said, trying my best to fake the fear I felt.

"I hope it will be..." Victoria said, looking around.

"I promise it will be. Okay?" I lied to her, and I knew it at that very instant.

We said our goodbyes to Rachel and started to walk out, but Rachel told me to stay. I waited inside while Joe and Victoria kept walking.

"Yeah, what's up?" I asked.

"Jace, I have a question." Rachel said.

"Sure, what is it?" I asked.

"You know we have room in the vault, why don't you live back here, in your home? I mean, do you really want a kid to grow up out there?" She asked.

I thought about it for a moment and turned my body fully to her.

"I've spent a long time out here, and met so many people, been through so many things and from what I went through here, I can't have a baby grow up in here. There's just too many things… weird here. You know?" I asked as Joe and Victoria were talking excitedly on the baby outside.

"Have you met Svetlana?! We can't even find any bras that fit her!" Joe yelled outside.

Rachel nodded. "Yeah… I know. Well, alright. If you change your mind, there's always room for you here." Rachel said with a smile.

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot, can I have some of the books our parents used to read to us when we were little? I want to give it to Victoria as a present." I whispered.

"Sure thing, Jace." Rachel showed me her white teeth. She gathered the books from the nursery and gave them to me. I put them in my pack with a smile.

"Thanks, Rachel, you're the best!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah, I know. Good luck." She smiled and waved to me.

The door to her office closed as Rachel slumped in her seat and scratched her forehead. She lifted up some papers and documents related to birth and read through them, entering the information into the terminal under 'Project Legacy'. She quickly got up and lifted a black marker and began to write on the window overlooking the atrium. She wrote down computed codes and arrows with intersecting lines along with random names that even she didn't know. These names cross-connected to others while some had check marks, some didn't. She backed away and sighed, dropping the marker and erasing all of her work sloppily, leaving black smears along the window. She picked the marker back up and began to write down the lines and codes again, glancing back at the birth records and recording specific parts of them. She slept in her office that night.

Joe held up to his words and hired more guards with the extra money his book is earning. "Joe's Guide to Wasteland Knowledge" has sold a lot of copies and is popular with many people who plan on leaving the vault, as well as many people from other cities who just want to learn about how to survive outside the confines of a city. A school has been made, and a great homework tool is Joe's book. We've also installed a training area for the new guards, made the doctor's office bigger, and made a farm to grow crops from the seeds that we have purchased from cities further away from the city. Megaton has grown four times as larger than it was before, and the number of people coming into the city has increased exponentially. The three of us have made the city thrive, and have become local celebrities in the process. When the renovation spree calmed down, we sat back and continued with our normal businesses. I wish I could fill in the next few months with something more exciting, but that's a pregnancy for you. It's just morning sickness and catching up on sleep.

One morning, I was off of work, letting the new trainee's run for the day. I walked to the office, and saw Joe talking to his new protégé, a young boy named Michael, who was the top scoring trainee in town. He had a blonde crew cut, and always wore his blue guard armor.

"Nah, just use regular 5.56, hollow points are way too expensive to make, and besides we haven't seen a problem in a while, so no need for the overkill." Joe told him.

"Alright. They just look so cool." Michael smiled.

"It doesn't matter about how good you look, because I already beat you in that department." Joe joked, and the two laughed.

"You're right, Joe. You're the best. I love y—"

"Hey, Joe." I nodded.

"What's up, buddy?" Joe asked me as Michael backed away for a moment and quickly cleaned his gun. He stared at me as Joe patted my back.

"Have you seen Victoria? I wanted to give her a present." I said, holding my bag where the books were.

"I think she's out in the garden." Michael informed me.

"All the way out there?" I asked hectically. "I always tell her not to make that trip when she's like this. The baby could come at any moment, and I don't want her to be all the way outside the city-"

"Take it easy Jace. Just go and see her, I'm sure she'll be happy to get those books." Joe said with a smile, slapping my shoulder. Michael winced loudly as he looked at us. We both looked at him.

"Uh… finger got caught." He said as he looked at his gun.

"Yeah... yeah I'll just go see her, then." I said, walking out of the room and waking outside.

"Since when did you become such a baby?" Joe asked his protégé.

"I dunno Joe. I'm trying, I'm gonna get better, trust me, sir—Joe, sir."

"Sure…" Joe looked at him and walked away.

I quickly walked outside, holding the books behind my back and smiling as I walked out into the farm, almost jogging out there in happiness. As I walked up the hill that overlooked the farm, I looked down at her as she talked to a group of men that didn't look like they were living here. I squinted down at them as she pushed them away and pumped her gauntlet. My eyes shot up and I ran down the hill, putting my books away. I heard shouting.

"VICTORIA!" I shouted as I ran towards my wife.

Victoria punched one of them in the stomach, sending them back. Another woman with short, fire orange hair then took her and held her in a headlock, aiming her pistol at me as I tried to reach for my pistol. I held my arms up and looked at Victoria as I stared helplessly at her.

"Don't move another muscle, hubby!" The woman commanded as the man to her side pulled out something from his pocket.

"Let her go, now!" I commanded.

"Screw you, Deputy Dumbass! Have fun with the baby! Oh wait..." The woman then broke out into a snicker as she dragged Victoria away.

"She's pregnant, stop!" I screamed as I ran into the farm to get them.

"No shit, didn't you laugh at my joke?!" The girl asked.

The man then pulled out a Molotov and threw it into the farm in front of me, sending up a huge flame, and engulfing the garden in a great fire, forcing me to retreat. I moved back and tried to see through the smoke, but it was no use. Finally, the flame died down, and the raiders were nowhere to be found. I looked around, practically spinning in circles as I tried to find them. I then ran as fast as I could into the city, and slammed the door open to Joe's office.

"So you like animals?" Joe asked Natalie as she sat on his lap.

"Joe." I said frantically, running my fingers through my hair.

"We'll take this up later." Joe said as she walked out.

"Wow, she's totally a nine on the sexy-scale." Joe smiled as he turned his eyes to me, and frowned.

"What's wrong?" Joe asked, calling Michael in the room.

"What is it, buddy?" Michael asked Joe.

"Don't call me that." Joe said quickly.

Michael's eyes seemed betrayed by the words. "Bu—"

"They have Victoria." I said, tearing up my words, and pacing around the room.

"Who?" He asked.

"Raiders. They took her and burned down the farm. I don't know where they went; we have to hurry up before..." I breathed in.

"Relax, Michael's a good tracker, he can lead the troops into their hideout." Joe said as he took a hunting rifle from a gun rack.

"No. No—"

"Calm down, Jace. It's okay." Joe told me.

"They'll kill her if they see us. Don—Don't bring the troops."

"We have to be quiet on this." Michael said.

"He's right. Are you sure you can find them?" Joe asked Michael.

"If they have feet, I can track them." He nodded.

"They have feet right?" Joe asked me. I glared at him.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I asked.

"Easy, dude. Lay off." Michael told me as he stepped in front of Joe and held onto his shoulder. "Nooope." Joe said quietly as he brushed Michael's hand from his shoulder.

"Get your weapons and let's get moving." I said, pulling out my magnum and popping out the cylinder and checking my ammunition amount.

Michael and Joe took out ammunition and weapons and put it in their holsters. We then quickly moved outside, telling all the citizens who spotted smoke to remain calm as we handle the situation. I led the two outside and up the hill to the farm. Joe sighed and turned away from the blackened farm.

"Oh Christ…" Joe looked around the burnt crops.

"Where did you see them last?" Michael asked me.

"Down here." I said, sliding down the hill and running to the spot where I last saw Victoria. Michael then kneeled down at the spot, feeling the dirt.

"There's signs of them here, and they lead that way." Michael said, pointing out of the farm.

With the help of Michael's tracking skills, we followed a path in the dirt, looking around for them and keeping low to the ground. We finally made it to a cave not too far from Megaton. Joe held out a flashlight and peered inside with it as Michael and I pulled out our weapons.

"Remember your training Mike, and we can still get out of here with Victoria." Joe told him quietly.

"Don't worry about it, I learned from the best. Do you think I should get a bandana?" Michael said with a smile as he blinked slowly at Joe. Joe turned back at him.

"Are you ga—"

"Now's not the time for this." I said as I aimed my pistol down the dark cave.

"You son of a bitch." Michael muttered to me.

We walked deeper into the cave, where it opened up into a camp, where there was fire in the center, surrounded by a group of raiders laughing and drinking.

"Yeah, he'll be up here next week for her." A raider said.

"How much are we getting for this?" Another asked.

"A good amount, no doubt. She's on the list."

The three of us crept into the cave and startled the raiders by our noise. They got up, some of them falling over, while the others pulled out their guns. I fired into them, running into cover.

"Where's my wife?!" I shouted in my cover.

"She about to be just like you, dead!" A raider shouted.

I ran out of my cover and ran at the raider, shooting him in the chest and charging into him, sending him into a box of food. I stared down at him and clenched my fists. I turned around to a raider aiming a shotgun at me. I put my hands up as the raider picked the shotgun up to his eyes, looking through the sights, and aiming the barrel at my head. A shot fired at the raider made him look at me for a moment quizzically. He felt his chest and looked at me.

"Wait, what the f-" A bullet raced through his head and he fell to the ground. I turned to Michael, who nodded at me and showed me deeper into the cave, aiming his pistol at the darkness. I pulled Joe off of a dead raider and he looked at the raider that almost killed me. My hands clammy and balled up I walked forward, looking around for Victoria.

Joe and I ran ahead of Michael and into a room where raiders stood in front of cages with people in it. The raiders were ready for me, aiming rifles and pistols at us. I looked into a cage and saw Victoria inside of it, looking at us and holding her power fist.

"Victoria!" I shouted as I walked forward. The raiders then cocked their weapons at me, making me stop.

"Well look-ie here! We've got some volunteering help!" A raider smiled as she aimed an assault rifle at me. I recognized her short orange hair and realized she was the one that took Victoria.

"Let her go, and we'll leave." I told them.

"I have a better idea! What about 'no'? Asshole?" The raider answered.

"Drop your weapons." She ordered us. Joe and I then bowed, and dropped our weapons on the ground.

"Now get in the cage." She commanded as she opened up a cage door, directly across from Victoria.

"Fuck you!" I shouted. I felt something poke at my back.

"Get in the cage, Jace." Michael's voice told me.

Joe turned around to see the boy. "Michael? Oh, you're breaking my heart, and now I'm going to have to break your ass."

"And you say I'm the gay one?" Michael asked.

"You totally are. Have you seen your haircut?"

"IT'S THE SAME AS YOURS! And just so you know, I'll happily use my hollow points on both of you… you know… because hollow points are badass. Now... get in the cage." Michael said angrily.

"You happy now, Joe? You've finally got a fan." I sighed.

"I'm not a fan! I'm his BEST FRIEND!" Michael yelled as he kicked my knees.

"Where were you when he and I had to fight through a radscorpion den?! Because I was there and we fought them all off!" Michael screamed.

Joe and I started to walk slowly to the large metal cage as the raiders peered at us with their weapons. I turned to Victoria as she stared at us, breathing heavily. She then gasped and held her stomach with both of her hands, screaming and falling to the ground, holding her stomach.

"Holy shit, what's wrong now?" The woman asked.

"The baby... she's coming..." Victoria moaned and sweat.

"Oh shut up and stop trying to shift our attention." The woman said.

Michael's feet sloshed. "I'm uh… I'm stepping in… uh…"

"Ew, you've got to be kidding me!"" She screamed as she stepped back. The raiders then backed away and stared at Victoria as she breathed heavily and started to sweat. As the raiders backed away in disgust, I jumped out and punched the woman as hard as I could in the face, throwing out my shoulder way too much and making me bend over to my knees as the woman fell. Joe then kicked up his rifle and held it by the barrel, and smacked Michael in the head with the stock, knocking him down. Joe then turned and fired at a raider, pulling the bolt action afterwards. Victoria screamed through her contractions and got to her feet, punching through the bars and sending them into a raider, impaling him with metal rods. She then stumbled to walk.

"I just punched a woman in the face." I huffed, disgusted in saying those words.

"It's okay, she was a bitch. It brought her down to a six on the sexy-scale." Joe shrugged.

"Shut up about the sexy-scale! I'M HAVING A GODDAMN BABY!" Victoria screamed as she fell onto me.

"And I'm having hearing problems for the rest of my life if you keep that up, Vee." Joe replied. Vee looked at Joe's face for a moment, and brought down the mother of all elbows into his ribs. Joe arched back and took a breathed as it slapped against him. Michael used that moment to slide kicked Joe to the ground and get up, picking up his rifle and running back into the cave. He lit a match and threw it at the ground, igniting gasoline and illuminating the cave to the words "MARRY ME?"

"You've got to be shitting me." Joe grutned from the ground as I held Vee back.

"I've got this, guys." Joe said to us as he got up slowly.

"Mike…" Joe called to him.

"I need you, Joe! I NEED YOU!" Michael screamed as he ran at Joe with a knife.

"Joe looked out!" I yelled at him as Michael slashed it into Joe's face. Joe screamed and fell back as he held his face. He got up slowly and turned back to us, grabbing at a bald patch in his thick beard.

Joe's eyes shot open wide. "Did you just—"

Michael taped Joe's beard hair to his chin and wrapped a red bandana around his head.

"I need you! I NEED TO BE YOU!" Michael yelled as the fire ignited tables and food boxes.

"Vee, stay here." I told my wife as I ran over to aid Joe.

"NOOOO! NOT YOOUU!" Michael bellowed as he fired at me.

Joe pushed me away into cover as Michael screamed hysterically and fired at the rock.

"I said I got this!" Joe yelled at me.

"What the hell are you talking about?! He stole your beard and bandana!" I yelled back.

"You're not his best friend! I AAAAAM!" Michael yelled to the heavens.

"Shut up with your bromance and fucking kill this guy already!" Victoria shouted through her contractions.

Michael pulled out a bottle of whiskey and chugged the bottle. "ALCOHOL MAKES ME FUNNIER!" Michael screeched after the swig.

"This is absolutely ridiculous!" Joe shouted at the parody of himself.

Michael took another sip of booze and ran over to Joe.

"I love you, BUDDY! Let's get drunk and get into fights because I don't know how to mask my feelings!" Michael laughed as he tackled Joe to the ground and slashed off more beard hair. I ran over to Michael and jumped on his back as he ran out of the way, taking us both to the side. He soon fell after his quick turn and we both fell to the ground. Michael kicked me away and I returned to my cover spot.

"You fucking shit! I'm not like that at all!" Joe shouted as he felt skin where beard used to be.

Michael taped the hairs onto his mouth and fired at my cover spot.

"I just don't want to be lonely! So I mark women on a scale to undermine them to the point where they feel their self-esteem is equal to mine!" Michael yelled.

"How much thought have you put into this shit?!" Joe shouted back.

"EVERY THOUGHT! YOU—ARE MY—EVERYTHING!"

"Joe…" I called over impatiently.

"If you two cock-birds don't solve this soon, I'm going to stab you both in your UERETHRAS!" Victoria yelled in pain, sobbing in pain afterwards.

"Joe, I really don't want that to happen!" I yelled through the firefight.

"What the fuck do you want me to do, marry him?!" Joe yelled. I raised both eyebrows at the prospect.

"Fuck you, Jace!" Joe pointed at me as a stray bullet hit the rock ground.

We looked to see Michael holding a half-empty whiskey bottle and firing lazily at us.

"Cool, he's drunk, now can we plea—"

"FUCKING KILL HIM ALREADY!" Vee screeched.

Joe and I ran from cover at Michael as he licked the beard hairs on his mouth and lifted his rifle at us. He pointed it at me and pulled the trigger as Joe tackled him to the ground. The bullet missed and sparked off the chain gate of Vee's prison cell. Joe slammed his fist into Michael and lifted him up. Michael ran into Joe and hugged him warmly as Joe backed away in disgust.

"I—I love you! I Looove you!" Michael sobbed.

Joe pushed him away as Michael lifted up his rifle and bashed it against Joe's head using the room Joe gave him.

"Are you serious, Joe?!" I yelled at him.

"He smells like sweat and oil!" Joe argued as I ran at Michael and grabbed the rifle barrel and threw it to the side.

"Get away from me!" Michael yelled as retched free from my grasp.

"He doesn't like you! He likes me! He calls me 'buddy' and gives me pats on the back!" Michael sobbed at me.

"I… I have feelings like Joe, and… I keep them locked away under all my facial hair and drinking!" Michael cried at me pathetically. I rolled my eyes to let the kid vent.

"I'm the comedic release of the group and I keep heavy situations light with my sarcasm!" He continued. I folded my arms.

"Sometimes… sometimes I like to write books because I'm secretly deep and brooding…"

"And… and another thing, there are times where I can't decide what's good and bad and so I decide to save whatever's closest to family an—"

Joe bashed the back of Michael's head violently with his rifle from behind and echoed out a scream and smack as Michael dropped to the floor instantly.

"Oh my God… he's so annoying…" Joe exhaled.

"I'm not like that, right?" Joe looked up at me.

"Eh." I shrugged.

Vee inhaled and shook her head. "I'm gonna kill you… I'm gonna kill you both. You—two—FUCK-STUMPS!"

"One second, honey!" I called over to her as I ran to aid my wife.

Joe stared down at Michael and held his rifle at his head.

"I know what you're going to say. I could have done better if I lived a pure life." Michael sighed at him.

"No, I was just going to say you're nothing like me and I hate you." Joe told him quickly.

"Wha-" Joe fired into Michael's head and lowered it gun afterwards, closing his eyes and shaking his head at the body, he then turned to the unconscious red haired woman and fired. He then smiled at his rifle. "Where was that booze?" Joe asked as he picked up the bottle and drank from it.

"I really do like this thing." Joe said to himself as he appreciated the rifle. I quickly smacked the bottle from his head and broke the glass on the ground with my free hand as I helped carry Victoria away. Joe then holstered his weapon and helped carry Victoria out of the cave.

"I know this isn't the time Vee, but you are way heavier than the last time I carried you." Joe grunted as we ran outside, making haste to Megaton.

"I've got a friggen' baby in my stomach, you idiot!" Victoria screamed.

"And she's already got to lay off the cake. Make sure you give her Barbies to play with, okay?"