Chapter 15: Not a Time For Jokes

We agreed to let Joe handle this one, since this was his department. Vee and I went home and ran through a few quick lessons on stranger danger with Sarah before eating dinner and going to bed. The next morning was the day we checked the perimeter of town, so Joe and I set off to make sure there weren't any more raiders tucked away in holes somewhere close.

"So how's Nat?" I asked him as we patrolled the outside of Megaton.

"High up on the sexy scale, Jace."

"You think you may have found something good?"

"Dunno, Jace." He shrugged.

I looked at him quizzically and bent down. I picked up a rock and threw it at his back as he turned away. "What was that for?" He was irritated.

"What's wrong with you, dude?" I asked him.

"Nothing. I'm in work mode, you know how it is." He explained as he went to an old mailbox and opened it up, looking inside.

"What's inside?" I asked him.

"Just an entire baseball bat, nothing much."

"Oh." I nodded.

Joe checked the next mailbox in the house nearby.

"What are you looking for?"

Joe shook his head. "I don't know. I'm bored." He said genuinely.

"Seriously dude, you're creeping me out with the normal small-talk shit."

"Jace, I don't know what you want; I'm just doing our job. Remember how we're law enforcement? Remember how we have people to protect?"

I pointed at him and caught him in the act. "There's that humane shit again. When did you become the rational guy?"

Joe sighed and turned around. "Things look clear, let's head back home."

"Alright, Joe." I bobbed my head up and down and walked with him back to the Megaton gates.

"I'll uh, meet you and Vee at the saloon; we'll get drinks tonight, okay?" Joe suggested as we walked through town.

"Sure. See you tonight."

Joe sighed and dug his hands into his pockets, pulling out a piece of mail that was put in there not but fifteen minutes ago using some sleight-of-hand in a mailbox. He walked into his office and closed the door behind him. He looked over to a raider handcuffed to his desk and looked at the mail, stepping over him as he sat in his chair.

"Afternoon, Giggles." Joe told the raider as he lay on the ground, glaring at Joe.

"You cock-shit! Release me!" Giggles shouted.

"For a man named 'Giggles', you're not that fun to be around."

Joe opened up the letter on his desk and unfolded it before him.

"Meet me in front of the Nuka Cola Machine outside the town tonight. Go alone.

Chain"

"Wow, he's got pretty handwriting." Joe nodded at the note as he folded it up and put it in his pockets.

"Are you hungry Giggles?" Joe asked the raider as he shook the desk leg angrily.

"ONLY FOR YOUR TAINTED HEART!"

"How's mac and cheese?"

"I WILL PLANT MY SEED IN YOUR FIRSTBORN, DEVIL!"

"Well someone's not eating tonight." Joe sighed as he got up and left his office.

"COME AND FACE ME, BABY CHEEKS!"

"Who the hell gave you the nickname 'Giggles'?" Joe asked himself as he looked over to the saloon and sighed. He turned his back to it and left the city.

The sun began to set, and Joe walked down the cracked and dirty streets with his assault rifle in his hands. He spotted the abandoned parking lot with a Nuka Cola machine out in front. As the sun kissed the horizon at the end of Joe's apparent vision, he waited. He waited patiently until he heard a muffled scream to his right. He pulled up his assault rifle and aimed it at a raider as he cupped his hands around the mouth of Natalie. Joe's eyes shot open as he aimed for the raider's head.

"Drop the gun, Joey." A grizzled voice said behind him as he felt a gun to his head.

Joe inhaled sharply and exhaled quickly as Natalie stared into his pained eyes. He reluctantly lowered his weapon and put it in the holster. He turned around to see a man with a stop sign attached to his armor.

"I'm surprised you actually came here." Joe told him in a low voice.

"I'm surprised your first words weren't a wise crack." He stared at him and crossed his arms.

"Now's not a time for jokes, I think." Joe glared at him, and then glanced over to Nat and sighed, calming his face to have a normal conversation.

"Let her go, she won't scream. Even if she does, no one in town will hear her. We're too far out." Joe told them.

The raider looked over to Chain, and the leader nodded. Natalie broke free from his grasp and fell to her knees, gasping and choking on her hands and knees. She looked up at Joe and sobbed in fear. Joe looked down at her calmly, almost ignoring her. The raider held a gun at Joe to keep him in place.

"So what do you want?" Joe asked the leader.

"Take a pick of my three newest buddies." Chain responded as he crossed his arms, exposing a miniature chainsaw holstered on his bicep. "I've been doing my scouting, as you can tell. Figured out why exactly you and your friends hate me so much—"

"You couldn't figure it out yourself?" Joe interrupted.

"I never said I was smart, Joey. Just clever."

Chain ripped Natalie from the ground by her hair and held her face up to Joe's eyes.

"Joe!" Natalie yelled in pain. Joe looked back at her dolefully.

"You like what I did here? Turns out I'm not some junkie raider after all, huh?"

"Congrats, you're a regular villain. Why are we even still talking? I'm here; you've got the upper hand, just shoot me and get it over with already." Joe said in irritation.

"There's a reason why I picked you for this, Joe. Your two friends have some fire in them, that's clear. But not you, you're different. You don't seem to care at all whether I'm alive or not. You don't seem to take anything seriously, not even this." Chain pulled out his chainsaw and held the jagged and bloody chain against Natalie's neck. Natalie yelped and whined as she struggled to get free. Joe looked at Natalie, and then up at Chain. He crossed his arms.

"Nothing? Really?" Chain asked him in disappointment.

"There's not much I can do to change what you're going to do here. So do what you're gonna do."

"Wow… and I thought you were the dumb one of the three." Chain nodded.

"I never said I was dumb. Just not as clever as you." Joe crossed his arms and waited semi-patiently.

"Since I can't get a rise out of you, I'll just let you know my demands. You bring your friends out here for us, and I'll maybe think about letting you and your girl here go free… at least for a little bit."

Chain bent down to Natalie and breathed heavily on her neck. Joe didn't flinch. "Joe… please… do something! PLEASE!" Natalie begged. Joe cleared his throat and continued to cross his arms with an unimpressed facial expression.

"It was worth a shot." Chain said as he dropped Natalie to the floor.

Chain walked up to Joe and he towered over the sheriff. "I heard Sarah's turning four next month."

Joe's eyes changed expression as he breathed in his horrible breath from their five inch tension.

"You don't care about a bitch. That's fair. But I hope you'll play ball when that little girl's on the line, Doughy-Joey."

Joe breathed heavily in through his nose and picked his next words carefully. "You've made your point."

"Remember what I said, I've got spies, Joey. Let anyone know what's going on here and… well… you're apparently smart enough to figure it out." Chain warned as he and his raider lackey walked away.

"Bring them here, same time tomorrow. Please don't make me hurt a little girl to make a point. I've got a heart, just like you." Chain called as Natalie got up and ran to Joe and hugged him. Joe didn't move a muscle as she hugged him. He stood still, his eyes fixated on Chain. Natalie whimpered as Joe stared at him with his arms at his sides until he was out of his vision.

Meanwhile, Victoria and I arrived at the bar. We sat on the counter until the sun set, and looked at each other. "He stood us up." I shook my head at her.

"That's what we get for not being cool, I guess." Vee sighed.

"Jab!" I yelled.

"Get us two gin and tonics!"

"Why is everyone doing this to me, now?! I just want respect!" Jab sobbed as he poured us drinks.

"Let's just take these to go." I shrugged as Vee nodded. We took the drinks and left the bar as Jab wiped tears from his face.

"Nobody likes me!" Jab whined.

"Ah, you're getting' tears in me booze! Sell! Not cry! Or I'll get your brother to replace you!" Colin yelled as he snatched the drink from Jab.

Vee and I held hands as we walked with our drinks through the town, waiting for the numbing night that awaited us without the constant peppering of jokes from Joe. We walked through the streets past people until Joe bumped into me. I spilled my drink on him, but he didn't notice. He didn't even notice that he had bumped into anyone. He just kept his eyes straight ahead and walked forward. Vee and I exchanged looks and jogged up to Joe, turning him around.

"Joe! What's up?" I asked him.

"Huh? Oh, hey guys. I'm sorry I couldn't get drinks with you tonight, I'm just really tired." Joe sighed in the most wide awake voice I've ever heard.

"Alright, maybe tomorrow, buddy." Vee smiled as she playfully elbowed him.

Joe pulled out a smile and turned away from us, and we turned away from him. He walked a few feet until he turned around.

"Hey, guys!" He called to us with hesitation.

"Huh?"

"Can you guys do me a favor… tomorrow?"

"Uh… yeah. What do you need from us?"

Joe took us into his office and let us know his errand for us. We were to deliver a "private letter" to one of Joe's "old friends" who lives in a house near Springvale, a few minutes away from town. After a firing squad's worth of questions, we agreed and went to bed for the night. Joe stayed in his office with his hat off and his bandana resting lightly on his brown hair. He sighed and looked down at Giggles as he slept next to his desk. He then sighed again, even louder as he felt the letter and thought to himself.

He spent the entire night wide awake; his thumbs running across the letter Chain gave him, thinking of Natalie's beautiful face, the way she smiled when they first met. Because that's all he saw; a beautiful face: not the tears running down it when Chain threatened her or the fear of her life, Joe never saw any of that, not even in his reflection. But now, he was forced to, and it killed him inside. What he was about to do would haunt his life. He was going to do something that would make him awake in a cold sweat years later. He was about to make a serious decision, and it scared him.