Chapter 18 - Walking the Tightrope
Journal of Ana Steele, October 15th, 2011
MORE – Four little letters with so many possibilities – something of greater importance, quantity, amount, measure, degree, etc… It was always something quantifiable. H. Jackson Brown Jr. said: 'Sometimes the heart sees what's invisible to the human eye.' When it comes to Christian, for me, this invisible item is at times my 'more' and at other times my kryptonite.
I don't know if that makes any sense, but I've been awake for all but three of the past forty plus hours, so odds are in my convoluted mind I believe it makes sense. Chicken –Egg – Chicken – Egg. Yes I'm rolling my eyes at myself. Crap, I'm tired.
Even on a maximum of three hours of sleep each night over the past few weeks, I had a good day today. Signed the contract with Eric – Can you say WOO HOO? Breakfast with Christian was actually fun, well after my initial fear subsided; plus I got to spend the day with him cooking, laughing, and getting to know each other a bit – hell, he even kissed me – well, before we fell into Lake Union. God those lips of his…swoon
I had to be responsible and go to work at the hardware store, but I really didn't want to. Maybe Kate is right, I need to get the massive caber out of my butt, throw caution to the wind, and have fun. Easier said than done though, but maybe a few small steps in that direction will be a good starting point.
Earlier this evening, after Christian and Taylor left, Luke dropped me at work. Now I understood why Kate always said: 'Big brothers can be the best thing ever or a pain in your ass – my brother Ethan is mostly a pain in the ass.' I will amend Kate's commentary on her only sibling to add, he's also cute if you are into blonde haired, blue-eyed, surfer dudes, though this one has a brain. He's definitely hot but he reminds me of Kate in so many ways, kissing Ethan would be like kissing Kate. Frankly, if what Abigail at college stated was true, Kate was the better kisser by far. She's the only person I know who has a way to compare the siblings oral abilities. Gotta love Abby!
Luke fills the roll of older brother well for me, though tonight was one of the few times he deserved at the very least a few noogies, and at most, a high colonic. Still he was amusing with his wit. For example a few Sawyerisms:
Nice to see Grey in drag for a change. Your pale pink lip-gloss looked better on him than it does on you, though it clashed a bit with his hair.
I always knew you inherited some of Ray's carpentry skills, but I never thought I'd see you convert a Grey into a tripod.
Only Luke!
On a more serious note – I've been walking around for months feeling relieved that the nightmare is over. Now knowing it might not be, leaves me feeling afraid, vulnerable, and edgy. Dad taught me to defend myself, yet right now I'm feeling conflicted about what to do, how to act, and who to listen to. Which leads me to the dichotomy of one Anastasia Rose Steele – part of me wants to return to the safety of Montesano with Dad, while the other part of me wants to be like Kate and say: FUCK IT! I'm going to make my dreams happen and deal with crap as it comes. I'm pushing myself toward the latter because I know it's the right thing to do. Yet, scared shitless here. For the past four years while in college, I fantasized about my dreams and compulsively planned – well dreamed about whether it would work or not in the long term. Either way it's my dream so I had to try.
So far so good – well I think so, but really, what do I know? I'm flying by the seat of my PMS panties here. See, there are advantages to being dirt poor through college – though I won't elaborate on them here because I know Kate is snoopy and I love her for it. Yes KATE, I have my secrets and I will protect them until I'm ready to share. Woman of mystery? Nah, I'm more worried people will think I'm bat shit crazy when they find out.
Note to self while at work: Do not spend an hour standing before the Sherwin Williams paint samples trying to gauge which color most closely matches Christian's hair – Copper Pot; Copper Mountain; or Tiger Eye. It's pathetic that I spent an hour of my shift just staring at colors that didn't do that man justice.
Yup, oh great imaginary spirit of the journal, I've got it bad. (IF YOU ARE READING - STOP LAUGHING KATE!) Oh and NEENERS KATE – he's a really awesome kisser! By he, I mean you know who… Mr. Duracell Battery (You know, the one with the Copper Top!)
Second note to self: Start a swear jar! The past few months have turned me into a potty mouth. Dad will be ashamed. Heck, even I am. So one last time – OH FUCK! Well, Fudge anyway. Oooh, chocolate!
Now I know why Taylor is turning into a grumpy old man. As head of personal security to Grey for somewhere over four years, well, that would start turning anyone's hair grey, ironic I know, or have you ripping out of your head. For the last few years I've just been one of the team - Luke Sawyer, jackass of all trades. There were days I wanted to scream or just bitch at Grey, Taylor, or even Flynn over the crap that went on, but until last night, my first night as not just Taylor's unofficial back up, but leading my own small team, I realized how much abject stupidity Taylor's had to put up with over the years; some of it probably even from me.
I will say that he's put together a diverse team with former Special Forces, FBI, and Secret Service employees. Each person had a slightly different skill set and looked at things from different angles. Now if we could just find a female CPO for Ana, I can get rid of Jackson. What can I say about Jax? He's a few years older than Ana, fresh out of the Navy Seals and two years of deployment. He's your typical twenty-six year old dumbass without respect for women. On top of that, he lacks common sense when it comes when to report in. At about two a.m., I snapped his head off for waking me up for a 'situation normal', then again at four-thirty a.m. 'situation normal and then went on to use the following words to describe Ana: chick, babe, piece of tail, hot, sexy, and doable. Apparently after I left last night, she spent the whole night in her work clothes, on her laptop, planted on her couch with a pencil sticking out of her braided hair. Is she those things he mentioned? Probably, but then again, I don't look at her like that. If she were a redhead I might – yeah, I have a thing for natural redheads, though as a rule I don't date anyone who is five years older or younger than I am. I'm thirty-seven – do the math.
My first official night as fucking management brought two interrupted hours of sleep, Grey griping until almost one a.m. about Ana's New York trip, and one dumbass, wet behind the ears CPO who I set straight and threatened with Grandma Trevelyan CPO and diaper duty if he didn't refer to Ana as Miss Steele, ma'am, or if she allowed it, Ana. Just in case, I also remind him of his NDA and tell him if I see any pictures of her on his cell phone or other electronic device, he'd have more to worry about than being fired. I can say crap like that at just over six-six, two-fifty all muscle and get away with it. Taylor hired me because they needed intimidating size, and a certain military skillset, which I just happen to have.
I'm a laid back type of guy which is odd considering my role in the military. I'm just not the type you want to piss off. I think both Grey and Taylor learned that the other night. There was nothing better than taking the control away from Grey by slowly putting my GEH belongings in front of him and walking that night. He didn't know how to react, but I knew he needed me if he wanted to get to know Ana and do right by her. Hell, I knew they wouldn't let me pull out of the garage before they realized it. Grey and Taylor are smart guys, but in that one moment in time, I held all the cards. To say that felt good, well, would be the understatement of the year.
Once we 'talked it out' and set boundaries, it was surprising to just cut lose with the two of them. Note to self: always drink higher end spirits, as it equals less of a hangover in the morning. Grey's not a bad guy. He's been his ivory tower too long and hasn't had male friends to bond with growing up. He's a nice guy, Ana likes him, and he returns the sentiment, but if he hits her, even Taylor and the full security team won't stop me, Bubba and Ray, from performing a magic trick and making a billionaire's balls magically disappear, followed by the rest of the body. Bubba and Ray don't know about his former predilections. They don't need to. I know Grey is a good guy – screwed up in the head in some ways, but a good guy. Hell, the entire security team knows he's screwy but good. Hell, we even cheered behind closed doors when the red room was dismantled.
The events of a few months ago brought me close to Ana and Ray. They are good, down-to-earth people and they invited me into their family. I have two families now, one in Texas and one here. It's the best feeling in the world. After the Brew House event, as Ray calls it, I promised him I would protect Ana. I've known since the night in her hospital room when Flynn was there and Grey intruded there was some type of connection between them. She's a good kid and deserves to be happy. I'm hopeful that Grey will work through his demons and treat her properly. Only time will tell.
Today is going to be a long day, especially on little sleep. I can't complain though because I know from Jax that Ana didn't sleep at all last night. Our plans for this fine Sunday include our regular Sunday trip to the gym and putting the new starter into Wanda. Who names a car Wanda? After that, we are heading to Montesano in the beast, visit Ray and hopefully, help Ana get over her fear of highway driving after the accident. There might be a few surprises planned along the way, but hopefully they'll be good as opposed to bad.
As I stand outside her front door, I take a peek in and Jax is right. She's still on the couch with her work clothes on from the night before, on her laptop, and the same cup of tea is sitting on the side table.
Insomnia – 1 & Ana – 0.
Well, more like insomnia 100, as I know she's had major sleep issues since the accident and they only worsened after the shooting. Hell, I had some sleep issues in the first few weeks after the shooting. It's how I know about hers. I'd wake up while we were recovering at Ray's and she'd be on the living room couch with a book and her cup of tea. She was a mess, but here is the kicker – she was worried about me more than she was worried about herself. Funny thing is, I was more worried about her.
During those weeks when we felt like hell we talked, read books, played cards, watched bad movies, and contemplated the future. Her plans appeared relatively straightforward and simple – recover, get her head on straight, and work in publishing. The first and third were easy when compared to the second one. I knew from watching Grey and his regular visits with Flynn that progress was slow. Hopefully it would be more productive for her. From what I've seen so far, it has been. She's thriving all the way around, though she still has some hurdles to overcome.
And my future? Simple - work for Grey until I can get my business off the ground, and then look to expand it along the way. I still can't believe Grey wanted to buy in. He was shocked when I politely declined his offer. The reality is I had the funds to invest in the business. Since bulletproof personal-wear is a highly specialized product with limited market, the profit would be acceptable but not a windfall. Why split it another way if I don't have to? And really, Grey would want control. It's not happening. My ultimate goal is to provide luxury attire that will keep people in my line of work safe. Luckily I know Kevlar and my partner MacKenzie, a good friend from my childhood knows fashion. Amicable friendship leads to amicable business partnership. And yes, she's a natural redhead.
Ana and I hit the gym three times per week religiously at around six am – Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday. Do we go to an upscale place? You know the snooty places I'm talking about – juice bars, aerobics, and junk like that. Heck no. I've been going to the same barebones gym since I moved to Seattle – weights, boxing rings, and in the past few years they've added cardio equipment. Our routine is the same – forty-five minutes of cardio, followed by forty-five minutes in the boxing ring working on her defensive skills.
To see this petite thing that is Ana at a gym filled with boxers and martial artists is laughable. Even the few women that go there are at least six inches taller than her and all muscle. Ana's well – Ana. Five-two, nine five pounds, feminine, yet toned. She stands out like a sore thumb. The regulars have grown to respect her because in the ring with me she'll try anything I ask her to. She'll never be a master of any martial art, but she'll be able to defend herself in a pinch and that was my ultimate goal. From what Ray told me, if she has the element of surprise, like she did with Grey, she can get away. We trained for more serious situations. This was about developing confidence and keeping her safe.
"Good morning Sunshine," I greet her as I walk through the door. "Looks like you had a good night's sleep last night."
"I was editing and couldn't put the books down. It's a triology," she replied with a smirk as she gets off the couch. "And good morning to you too. Your coffee is ready so help yourself. There are also fresh banana nut muffins. I'm going to get changed."
Ten minutes, a cup of coffee, and two muffins later, she's back ready for the gym. We head to the beast, which is my baby or a loaded, customized FJ Cruiser, and are off to the gym.
"So Luke, I'm thinking it's time to retire Wanda. Every few weeks I'm sinking money into her and at this point, I need something reliable especially after hearing this whole mess might not be over," she comments nervously.
Wanda is Ana's version of Gollum's ring. If she wants to ditch her, then she's terrified. "You can drive this car Ana. I know you don't want to give up Wanda and frankly, I have a GEH issued car that I use ninety-nine percent of the time."
Her shy, innocent, smile kills me. She knows exactly when to use it – when she wants to get her way. "It's time for someone else to adopt Wanda. Taylor had mentioned a few weeks ago that he knew a collector who was interested in her for five thousand dollars. I've looked online and that's a fair price for her. I emailed Taylor last night about selling Wanda. I can use that along with some of my savings to get a better car."
Note to self – ask Taylor is this collector is named Grey, though he'd offer her more for it just to give her money. "What are you contemplating purchasing?"
"A used Prius. I've been looking at the local dealerships inventory online and I put through a credit application for one and I qualified. I was hoping you'd come see it with me tomorrow if you have time."
I can't help but laugh. She doesn't realize that I'm her security lead, so I'm officially there for her no matter what. "You're the boss Miss Steele. I'm at your beckon call twenty-four seven and get paid to do what I would do anyway."
"So you're my bitch?" she teases.
"Yes ma'am. And if I'm not out of line, what are you going to name this vehicle?"
"I won't know until I drive her, but since she'll be newer it will have to be a more modern name. Who knows though, I might stick to older, more British names – Hermione perhaps, or maybe Clara."
The trip to the gym was quick and her cardio time goes fast. I hit the weights and do my thing, while watching over her. The days I don't hit the gym, I jog, so that's my cardio. I had to start jogging more because there were days when I ended up jogging with Grey and it just about killed me. The man runs at a neurotic, brutal pace. I have to hand it to Taylor for keeping up with him six days a week. They run six to eight miles per morning, on Grey's bad days closer to ten and sometimes again in the evening. I've got a decade on Grey and I had to up my game in the run department, so now three days per week I run ten and most of the other days I run five before picking up Ana for the gym. Not today though. Fucking newbie Jax and his pointless reports!
"Hey Short Stuff, all the sparing rings are filled. What do you want to do next?" I can't help but ask. Personally, I wouldn't mind breakfast and a nap.
"I want to shower and afterward to feast on carbs," she replies with a yawn. "Then before we get on the road I'm going to take one of those stupid anti-anxiety pills Dr. Flynn provided because I-" she sighs emotionally.
"You really don't want to be on the highway even with me driving. I think it's smart to take one before we hit the road. You're exhausted and emotional. It will take the edge off the trip. Just make sure you bring them with us in case you need them later."
She nods, leans into me, and gives a long shuddering sigh.
"Grab your gear from the locker room and I'll meet you at the door," I can't help but hug her as we head toward the side-by-side locker rooms.
An hour later we're showered and as Ana calls it – bageled-up. Between her lack of sleep and the anti-anxiety medication, she's asleep before we even get to the interstate. I'm thrilled. The last time we made this drive I had to pull over three times because she hyperventilated almost until she passed out. This time, I grab my cell, snap a picture, and text it to Ray, who texts back his usual one word response 'perfect'.
Almost two hours later when we pull up to Ray's, she's still fast asleep. Ray carries her inside and lays her in her old room. Naturally, Rungo follows and curls up beside her like the massive lap dog that he is. Once we restock his freezer from Ana's cooler, we plant ourselves in the living room to watch the latest Manchester City soccer match as we swear at the television. At the half, Ray finally asks me how I feel Ana's adjusting and if we've found out anything about the potential accomplice.
"She's exhausted, working too hard, and now that she knows it might not be over she's starting to look over her shoulder again. I had a guy watch over her on her shift at the hardware store last night and she's beyond jumpy," I explain trying to keep the concern out of my voice. "I wish we didn't have to tell her, but she needs to watch out for herself. Grey put me in charge of her security until we can work this all out and see if there really is a threat. He's had a team on her since she came back to Seattle and there have been no threats, no suspicious behavior around her – nothing. Our team and his, which I only learned about the other day, are coming to the same conclusion that it's over. My gut is telling me it's not, but I'm not sure if I feel this way because after the shooting I'm too close to the situation or if it's just gut instinct. Time will tell I guess."
It's clear the gears are turning in Ray's head. I know the question he wants to ask, so I just wait for it. When it finally comes, I don't even blink. "So has Grey set a finger out of line with my Annie?"
"He only saw her for the first time last night, though I know they've interacted via text or email occasionally." I can't help but pause for a moment to make sure I select the correct words. "Grey's a good guy. Don't get me wrong, he has his issues and he's working on them, but he's truly a decent human being. When it comes to Ana his hearts in the right place. He really cares about her; and frankly, she has feelings for him. You can see it when they are together and relaxed. I know he will treat her right."
Ray smirked at me. "And how do you know that?"
"I'm very good at getting my point across when I need to even though I'm walking the tightrope and I have the grace of a bull in a china shop. That and I can't be happy go lucky Sawyer all the time now can I? I can be a real douche bag when the situation calls for it."
"You forgot stubborn and just a plain asshole too," Ray counters with a chuckle.
"Pot – kettle – kettle – pot," I counter realizing some of Ray and Ana's favorite phrases have slowly leaked their way into my repertoire. "On a side note, Grey is pushing me to accompany her to New York next weekend to watch over her. Personally, I don't think I'm needed, but if I don't agree to go he'll just send someone else, unless of course you accompany her. This conference and the other appointments she has are important to her. My guess is if Grey sends someone else or knowing him an entire team, they'll report back on her every move and she won't have privacy. Hell, he'd wrap her in bubble wrap or make her wear a suit filled with packing peanuts if he could to protect her. She needs to keep her meetings with Harper Collins and Random House private or Grey will do one of two things – interfere so they don't hire her or do his best to try to buy either company and move it to Seattle."
"So you're saying he's got more money than brain cells when it comes to Annie?" I nod causing Ray to laugh. "Somehow that doesn't surprise me. Unfortunately, I can't go to New York next weekend as I've already committed my weekend, and most of the week after to a Habitat for Humanity project in Olympia. Looks like you are heading out east."
"You're coming to New York with me next weekend Luke?" we heard Ana ask as she came down the steps.
"I am. That is what close personal security does Miss Steele," I replied waiting to see how she reacts. It doesn't take long for that shy smile to appear on her face along with relief.
"You realize I'm going to be either at the conference or meetings the entire time I'm there, right? We'll be lucky to share a meal together. It's going to be boring for you, but I'm glad you are coming. After yesterday I'm a bit on edge. I don't like feeling vulnerable."
"No one does baby girl," Ray counters as a knock comes on the front door. He keeps talking as he heads to answer it. "I thought if you felt up to it we could go to gun range. You renewed your concealed carry permit, right?"
"I did, but I don't want to keep a gun on me," she muttered quietly.
"You need to have one at home just in case; which means you need a refresher on how to use it," Ray pushed as he opened the door. It was odd watching one of the local police act as a delivery service for Grey, but then again, he talked them into allowing him to land Charlie Tango on their helipad as long as Joe was on stand-by in case the helipad was needed. Money talks.
I knew Grey, his brother, Kate Kavanagh, and Taylor were coming to Montesano, but I was surprised to see Mia Grey accompanying them as well. All were dressed down in jeans, t-shirts, and hoodies – even Ms. Grey, who managed to follow the dress code while still wearing designer labels. Women!
"Welcome," Ray greeted them ushering them into the house.
Ana greeted them all with a hug. Even Ray noticed, Grey's hug lasted a bit longer than the others and glanced my way before collecting himself and continuing. "Your early. I wasn't expecting you for another hour and a half. We were going to head to the gun range, but you are welcome to join us. My Annie needs to get herself some practice."
It was clear by the look on all three Grey's faces that they didn't approve, but amazingly they kept it to themselves. Taylor and I exchanged a smirk. Kate grinned broadly at the prospect of the gun range. I knew from Ana and Ray that during the girl's college years, Kate would come to Montesano some weekends with Ana and they'd spend hours there.
"I can't wait," Kate exclaimed practically jumping up and down. "Going there makes me feel like a badass."
"You've been there," Elliot asked with clear dismay that his girlfriend was handling a gun.
"Every other month for our four years in college," she laughed. Her eyes were wide and beaming. "I would go in there and pretend I was Lara Croft, Tomb Raider, but fuddy-duddy Ray wouldn't let me wear the costume there."
Ray snickered. "Darn straight I wouldn't."
"Ana, do you really want to go shoot after everything?" Mia asked with concern. I know they'd met volunteering at Coping Together. It was funny how Ana knew every member of the Grey family, even though Grey himself hadn't realized how well she knew Mia. I know they'd gone to lunch a dozen times, Kate included, shopping, and even worked a few fund-raisers together.
"You to know each other?" Grey asked curiously.
"Coping Together, Christian – duh?" Mia laughed. "So Ana, do you really want to do this? I mean a gun almost killed you."
"And having a gun that day might have prevented what happened," Ana replied bitterly. "Do I want a gun? Not really. The thought of harming another human being sickens me, but I live alone and if it helps my dad sleep at night knowing I can defend myself, then I'll do anything to make that happen – including keeping a gun at home. So, with gun ownership comes the responsibility to learn how to use it safely."
"Glad you feel that way Annie because I took the liberty of picking you up a weapon." It was clear Ray was proud of his girl. We watched as he went into another room for a minute then returned with a small hard plastic box and handed it to her. "It's a Glock 26 Gen 4, also known as a baby Glock. The back strap will allow us to really make the gun fit your hand. It's lightweight and a bit better than what you're used to using at the gun range."
Ana opened the box and stared at it uncertainly, while each of the Grey's reflexively took a step back. I don't think they realized they'd even done so. I could even see Taylor tense up a bit. He's probably thinking, clumsy Ana with a gun is a prescription for disaster. Kate on the other hand, moved to her friends side, looked in the box and muttered, so cool.
"Relax people, it's not loaded and never been shot or taken out of it's box," Ray laughed as he shook a box of bullets at them. "Ready to go Annie?"
"I thought the shooting range was closed today since its Sunday?" she asked.
"It is, but since I knew last night that Grey here was coming, I arranged with Mick to get the keys so we could use the facilities without Taylor or Luke freaking out about security."
It was weird when we left a few minutes later after loading all of Ray's gear into the lock box in the back of Ray's truck. If you'd told me I'd see the boss riding in the second bank of seats in Ray's truck, I'd think you were crazy, but it was happening. Taylor riding shot gun, Ray driving, and finally, Grey and Ana in the back seat. Elliot rode shotgun in the beast, with Mia and Kate in the back. Thankfully it was a ten-minute drive from Ray's, as other than Kate, the siblings were clearly uncomfortable.
As we pull up to the range, I can't help but smirk at the looks on Elliot and Mia's faces. Clearly they expected this place to look like a military survivalist camp, not a massive airplane hangar. I parked next to Ray's truck and as we got out, I could see the same look on Grey's face. Ray grabbed his gear from his truck, while I grabbed my two bags out of the back of the beast.
"Welcome to the hangar," Ray exclaimed with a smirk as he unlocked the side door. "Looks are deceiving. This place basically has an airplane hangar exterior, but the walls are lined with a foot of solid rebar and concrete. No bullets will penetrate those walls. Give me a minute to grab the keys from the office and I'll give you a quick tour."
Once he had the keys in hand, Ray led us to the basement and through the doors. He explained the fifty-foot standard handgun range.
"As you see," Ray began as he handed everyone Pro-Ears Pro Mag earmuffs and a pair of Remington shooting glasses before turning to Ana and Kate, "there are five shooting booths. Guns should always be pointing toward the target when not in use, fingers off the trigger, and if you are on a break, unloaded by pulling out the clip and emptying the chamber."
The girls nodded, while Taylor looked on with curious amusement. Ray took his place in a booth, placed his target on the display and with a touch of a button it moved to the back of the long range. To start he used a standard bulls-eye or dartboard target. "Sound dampeners and glasses on everyone, then please step back," he ordered.
Once he was satisfied everyone had followed his order, he turned, picked up his personal Glock and fired five times before setting his gun down with the muzzle facing the target. With a push of the button, the target returned to the booth and he smiled at the fact that five out of five bullets hit within a half-inch of the center of the target. His smile faded when he turned toward Ana, who was now sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall with her face resting in her hands as her tears began to flow. She was shaking like a leaf as she struggled to breathe.
"Annie," Ray rushed over to her, as did Grey. A moment later Ana begins to rock herself. "Baby girl, it's okay. You are safe here."
The emotion in her voice when she finally found her words was heartbreaking. "She shot me and then she shot Luke. I couldn't stop it, couldn't breath to warn him, and she shot him. She shot him. Oh God, all the blood. She shot him."
Ray waved me over, telling me I looked like shit as I crouched before her. She looked like a frightened field mouse cowering in the corner. "Ana, look at me and this will be over. I promise," I told her gently. This caused her to rock herself harder. "Ana," I snapped at her harshly and she drew a deep breath before looking up at me in a daze. I knew she was reliving the brew house shooting in her head when her hand slowly moved to my chest, exactly where I'd been shot a few months ago. "It's over. She can't hurt anyone ever again. I promise."
It took a minute or two before she fully snapped out of it. I have to admit, I knew how she felt when she heard the first shot; after all, I was shot that day and it left me somewhat jumpy immediately after I regained consciousness. As soon as I was up to it, Ray brought me here one evening to just shoot until that jumpiness was gone. It really did help.
"When I heard the gunshots, it was like being pulled back into a nightmare," Ana began softly. "I knew I was physically here, but mentally I was there revisiting it in an endless loop. I felt helpless. I couldn't breath or speak. I couldn't warn you before you got through the door. I was absolutely helpless." She paused for a moment, before starting to get to her feet as she exclaimed that she needed to get out of here.
"No," Ray, Taylor and I all said at the same time. We looked at each other before Taylor and I nodded toward Ray to continue. I could see Grey struggling to hold back his protest. Frankly, I was shocked when he kept quiet. "Annie, I know you want to leave. I do and I understand why, but the only way to not feel so helpless is learning to defend yourself. You've been shooting since you were a teenager. You were really good at this – you know it, I know it, and everyone that comes here knows it. Your name has been on quite a few plaques in this place over the years. You need to get over this fear or Jameson wins. You used to love this place. Don't let her win."
She nodded uncertainly but allowed Ray to escort her to one of the booths with the box containing her gun waiting for her on the counter. Much to my surprise, Ana knew how to handle the gun. We watched as she took it out of the box, checked and loaded it before returning it to the counter pointing the muzzle down the firing lane.
"I got you a gift," Taylor informed her with a smirk before handing her a stack of paper zombie targets. "Luke told me you and Kate like to plan for the zombie apocalypse when you drink wine, so I thought we'd set the theme."
Ana giggled and I felt myself relax. She hugged Taylor tightly as she thanked him. Yup, little Ana can make badass Taylor blush. I ventured a glance at Grey as he's the jealous type and the look on his face didn't disappoint. It was amusing to see all three siblings standing as far back from the range as possible.
"Make me proud," Taylor told her. "Hit anywhere in the two rectangles."
There was no way she was going to hit anywhere near those rectangles on the zombie's body with her hands shaking like that. Her first two shots were lucky they were on the paper at all. Before either Ray or I could say anything, Kate took the lead.
"Come on Steele. You're shooting like a ten year old," Kate exclaimed as she pointed toward Ray's booth, where his gun sat. "May I Ray?" He nodded. Kate immediately took her place in the booth, sent the target fifty-feet away with the touch of a button, and then picked up the gun and took five shots.
Taylor and I had equally stunned looks on our faces that screamed, 'fuck me, blond-bombshell hit the rectangles.' Before we could say anything, Kate continued.
"Suck it up Steele. We loved doing this. I mean, remember it's you that taught me how to shoot. Remember all the fun we had on the police course shooting the bad guys? You need to suck it up dammit or you're allowing that bitch to take something you loved away from you and I'm sorry, but you're too much of a thickheaded, stubborn little bitch to let her win. Granted it's all wrapped up in a book nerd, but still, embrace your inner bitch and blow that fucking zombie away."
Much to our surprise, Ana's face changed from anxious to determined. A moment later she took ten shots in rapid succession, all hitting the small, inner rectangle on the zombie target's chest.
"That's my bitch," Kate laughed as Ana put the gun down and hugged her best friend tightly as she thanked her.
Taylor and I merely stood there looking shocked. Ray told us Ana was a good shot, but hell, we never expected that. Don't get me wrong, there was room for improvement, but hell, she was good. Little Ana Steele – Billionaire Slayer and Gunslinger. While she was decent in a quick, relatively minor emergency situation when it came to defending herself, but getting out of a quick pinch is one thing, but really fighting was another. It was something we had to work on. I couldn't help but wonder if I could recruit Kate as her sparring partner so they could both learn together.
Ray kissed Ana on the forehead. "Glad to have my baby back," he whispered, before turning to the Greys. "So you three are surrounded by protection pretty much twenty-four seven, well at least you are Christian, but what would you do if Jason and Luke are down and you are cornered? Would you know how to safely use their gun? You don't have to answer that because I know the answer is no. Gun control is an argument that will go on forever in this country, but the reality is Christian, you are all about safety but you are failing yourself where safety is concerned if you don't know how to use a gun. If you find yourself in a dire situation, Jason is down, well then what? You need to learn basic gun safety, how to unload and reload, and most of all, how to aim and shoot because there might be a day you'll need it. Besides, my Annie might not be around to protect you." He turns to Elliot, smirks and adds, "And you Elliot, big bad construction guy, are you going to rely on a one hundred and five pound blonde to protect you in a pinch?"
"I'm game," Mia announced stepping forward. Somehow Mia volunteering didn't really surprise me. She's always made up her own mind regardless of her parents or brother's feelings about an issue. She was bubbly, liked to have a good time, but she wasn't stupid. She was the underestimated Grey, but the security team knew better. She was just as smart as her brothers and thought outside the box. Out of the three siblings, she was the risk taker – hang gliding, bungee jumping, sky diving, and base-jumping were things I know she did during her time in France. She traveled while there and from her CPO reports I know she had a blast.
Even fun-loving Elliot wasn't daring, well unless you were talking about women or construction. The man whore of Seattle moniker fit his actions. Personally, I had to follow him around for six months after he came off a two-month fuck-buddy relationship a few years back and Mr. Orgy might be a better word. He went hog wild. If it were a porn movie it would have been called – Mr. Grey & His Harem's Video Guide to Debauchery. I thought I was bad when it came to my tally of women, but fuck, I'm in my late thirties, Elliot was twenty-eight at the time and in those six months he easily bedded more women that I had in my lifetime. The man should write a book and get schedule appointments for monthly STD tests.
Taylor and I stood side-by-side as Ray taught Mia how to handle the weapon, load and unload it, aim, and finally discharge it. She even followed the instruction most newbies forgot – when you aren't going to shoot, your finger should be parallel to the barrel and not on the trigger. Her first shot barely hit the paper target, but her second made it. She immediately set the gun down muzzle to the target and jumped up and down squealing. Even Taylor congratulated her.
I glanced over at Ana to see how she was holding up and wasn't surprised that she was standing next to Grey and he had his arm over her shoulders. While she still appeared edgy, she almost looked relieved. Not a person in the room missed the sexual tension between them. Even Ray kept glancing between Grey, Ana, and then to me questioningly. What can I do, I shrugged. I mean Ray really hadn't seen them together at all that I can recall. From what Taylor told me it was like that between them since the day of the interview. He had watched the CCTV feed at Grey House when she left his office and even back then he claims the look they exchanged as the doors closed was unlike anything he'd ever seen before - different. We're guys, we don't describe that romance crap well. I probably would have gone all Neanderthal and just said – he looked like he wanted to fuck her, but not Taylor. He's been in the private security business long enough to be discreet. For the most part I am, but every so often I slip. Fuck! I'm just an older version of Jax. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I'm a fucking douche! Kill me now.
"Christian, my dad is right. Why don't you and Elliot at least learn basic gun safety?" Ana asked looking up at him with those big blue eyes. I gave him a minute and he'd be agreeing to travel back in time and sale on the Titanic. Those blue eyes had a way of making people do things they ordinarily wouldn't.
"I'll make you a deal Ana," Elliot chimed in with a smirk. "If Sawyer can out-shoot his boss both with a pistol and a rifle then Christian and I will take our turns."
"You realize Elliot, that they were both Special Forces," Ray laughed. "They should be quite evenly matched, though Luke here has a few more miles on Taylor, especially lately."
Taylor and I glanced at each other and quickly agreed. "Beauty before age T," I laughed. We both mounted a paper dartboard with points to the target and sent it on its fifty-foot journey. "Ten shots, high score wins. Good luck."
We watched as Taylor pulled his weapon from his holster, removed the safety and in rapid succession fired off ten rounds. Taylor looked quite proud of himself as he pushed the button and his target headed toward the booth. All but one shot was pretty much dead center. That one was on the line just outside of dead center. It was impressive shooting.
"Looks like we have an out," Elliot muttered to his brother.
As I headed over to my booth I glanced at Taylor and waited for a positive or negative nod to see how he wanted me to handle this situation. When he gave me a slight nod, I turned to the target, drew my weapon and took my shots. I knew I hit the target dead center every time without hitting lines. Taylor and I were Special Forces and fifty-feet is nothing given our training. We could have done it with our eyes closed. I know Taylor intentionally missed center once. This was our livelihood for years. Taylor goes to the gun range once per week to stay sharp. I'm active Special Forces reserve, recently 'retired', which means nothing to our government really, but I'll be damned if I don't stop at the gun range at the end of my shift nightly, then hit the full training center in Yakima once a week. On weeks where I actually have two days off I go on each of those days.
Grey grabs my target and smiles wryly. "Something you want to tell me Sawyer?"
"Lucky shots?" I smirk at him. He's got to know about my background. I mean, I disclosed to Taylor when I was hired, with the understanding that he might have to disclose my background to Grey. Guess he didn't. Well, at least now Grey suspects.
We move to the next room where the thousand foot targets are for rifles and sharp shooting. The guns they have here are crap, so I pull an M4 Carbine from my long bag and Taylor just whistles. I've managed to impress both him and Ray.
"Fancy rifle Luke," Ray comments as he examines the weapon. "How did you get your hands on this?"
"Would you believe friends in his places?"
Taylor pulls two paper targets featuring the outline of a human and a sharpie. He hands them to Mia, instructing her to draw five filled in black circles the size of nickels in identical places on each. When she was done, Ray attached each one to the mount and sent them down the thousand-foot range.
"Can I try that thing?" Taylor asks. I hand him the rifle. The shit-eating grin on his face as he examines it is hilarious. He's practically drooling over it. It's good to be the king! I know he's been out of the service for seven or eight years and wasn't a reservist. Unlike me, when he walked, he walked for good.
I mounted an unmarked target in another booth and sent it down the range. "Come over here and take some practice shots. That thing takes a bit of getting used to," I tell him. After a few dozen shots and adjusting the scope along the way, he's got the feel for the weapon. "Let the competition begin."
Taylor takes his five shots on target. Before we haul his target back in, I take my shots in quick succession. While I'm unloading the weapon, Ray is bringing the targets in. I'll hand it to Taylor, he adapts quickly. He hit four of five of the nickel-sized circles Mia had drawn and missed the one by a hair. I knew I hit mine. If I hadn't, I should officially retire from the reserves.
"Well Sawyer?" Grey stood before me with his arms crossed over his chest expectantly.
"Marine Special Forces weapons expert and sniper," I replied with a grin. "I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I can shoot. Hence my inactive reserve status."
"What's your distance record?" Taylor asked. I merely raised my eyebrows at him and he added, "Military official and classified."
"Official 2,470 meters with this actual gun. Classified 3,112 meters."
"Fuck," both Taylor and Ray replied together.
"As I said, that's why I'll never get away. It's why I train almost nightly, and hit Yakima on every off day. When they call, I end up on a short-term assignment. Usually that's when a family emergency conveniently emerges," I informed them and I know they understand. "When I walked from full-time military they wanted me to stay on as a sniper instructor. I passed. I'm not the teacher type. I have a low threshold for stupidity."
Our plans for the afternoon included playing paintball, but once Ray, Taylor and I got the brothers Grey shooting, it became a competition for them. Between the three Greys, Kate, and Ana there was no contest. Ana's been shooting since she was thirteen. She might be clumsy, but when it came to the Glock, she had good hand-eye coordination. What was supposed to be forty-five minutes at most at the shooting range, ended up being four hours. Ana took the gold, Kate the silver, and surprisingly, Elliot the bronze. Hell, they each even tried the M4 carbine and much to my surprise, it was Mia who had the best aim of the five of them with that.
"Care to explain Mia?" I gazed down at her in shock. She merely smirked and explained that during her time in France, she visited Spain in the month of August for the fiestas in the little towns. In one particular town, they had a contest with jewelry hanging from paper ribbons. All you had to do was shoot the ribbon with a pellet rifle from forty feet away and if you broke a ribbon, what fell was yours. Figures, all it took was jewelry for her to break Dr. Trevelyan's no gun rule.
After the gun range, we headed into town for a quick, late lunch at the local diner, Roxy's. It seemed weird to see Grey sitting at a hole in the wall. We're used to him eating at only high-end healthy places. I almost wanted to take a picture so I'd remember the moment the boss chowed down on a greasy bacon cheeseburger, fries, and pie. Oddly, even without the scotch from the other night, I enjoyed myself with Grey. It's like being in the twilight zone.
As we exited Roxy's, we all sensed Ana's growing anxiety. The sun was starting to set and the time had come for 'the drive'. I handed Ana the keys to the beast, and as we all split up between the two vehicles, Ray was in the front of the beast with Ana, while Grey and I were in the back seat. Taylor took charge of Ray's truck, with Elliot, Mia, and Kate.
"Ready?" Ray asked her. I couldn't help but glance at her from the back seat. She merely shook her head affirmatively, put the car in gear and started the slow drive through downtown Montesano. I couldn't help but text Taylor that we'd be stopping along the way so Ana's lunch could make a return visit. She definitely looked green around the gills.
By the time we hit I-5, she was bordering on hyperventilating. When we saw the first road sign 'Castle Rock – 15 miles' she immediately pulled the car over, turned the engine off, bolted from the car and puked in a bush. The entire time Grey was next to her holding her hair back. Frankly, I'm surprised she lasted this long.
Kate handed her a bottle of water and a toothbrush with some toothpaste on it. Did she pull that out of her ass? Do girls carry everything in their purses? What the fuck?! I'll never understand women.
"Annie, do you need to take one of the anti-anxiety pills the doctor prescribed?" Ray asked her.
She sighed. "Maybe half of one."
Once she took half the pill, Taylor quickly ushered the Grey's back into the vehicles siting security concerns. Makes sense – a billionaire, a millionaire, and an heiress are standing on the side of the semi-deserted interstate – fuck me if that set up ever ends favorably in the movies or as the starting line of a joke.
A few more miles down the road we see the trooper presence waiting for us. The Chief has agreed to have a few key members of the rescue team on site to meet Ana and explain exactly what happened after she went into the water. Thankfully the half of a pill kicked in for her by then. She seemed calmer, yet somewhat detached. By the time she put the beast in park, Sargent Mike Jeffries met her at the driver's side window.
"Good evening Miss Steele," he greeted her with a handshake through the open window. "I'm Sargent Jeffries. I was part of the water team that discovered your rental vehicle. I was also part of the team that stabilized you for the airlift as when you were discovered by air, my team took the boat and headed to where you were found."
"Please call me Ana." Her voice was a nervous whisper. "So is this where the car tumbled into the water?"
"The water impact site is about twenty feet that way," he stated pointing. "Do you know how many time the car flipped before you hit the water?"
She sighed, the Ana Steele sign of stress. "Four or five I think. After three I lost count or I blacked out. I'm not really certain. I don't really remember the water impact, though I remember waking up surrounded by murkiness and the car slowly filling with water. I didn't feel anything – not pain or panic at first. I must have been in shock. What was odd was the overhead light was on, even though it was below me as the car was upside down, and I will always remember seeing the water pooling below me and seeing the light shining up through it. What brought me out of my shock was watching the blood dripping into the water and forming psychedelic patterns in the water. After that I felt the pain and I began to panic. I undid my seatbelt, expecting to fall into the water, but I was pinned by the steering wheel. It took a bit, but I managed to shift the steering wheel and free myself. When I couldn't open the car door, I noticed the window was cracked, so I managed to kick it to break it the rest of the way. After that I don't really remember much other than the car filling quickly with water. I don't how I got out of the car."
"What's the next thing you remember?" Jeffries asked her.
She smiled, blushed, and whispered, "Man Candy Heaven." Jeffries and his men laughed. Hell, we all laughed, even Ana.
"Ma'am, you provided us with a memory we'll never forget. We still talk about it. We expected to pull a body from the water, but when your blue eyes opened and you whispered those words we felt relieved."
"I really thought I'd died and gone to heaven," she laughed. "Is it a trooper thing or a certified protection officer thing that you all have to be attractive?"
Jeffries blushed slightly. I know that feeling all too well after her Beckham comment. "You're still delirious ma'am."
"Ana," she corrected him. "Ma'am is my mother."
"I understand your team came in tonight to walk Miss Steele through the crash and rescue sites," Grey addressed Jeffries.
"We came in as a favor to a brother in arms. I know Sawyer here from Yakima, mostly by reputation, but we've gone a few rounds on the agility course and the gun range," Jeffries counters with a smirk.
"Really?" Jeffries has Grey's attention now.
"So what else can you tell me about Sawyer?" Grey asks giving me a smirk.
Jeffries laughs. "Since we are in mixed company, I'll just say he's a MFSOB who can take me on the gun range, but got his ass handed to him on the agility course."
I can't help but laugh. "You're what? Five-ten? I'm over six-six. Yeah, you'll beat me in agility just about every time, but on the track I beat your sorry ass by a mile. Two weeks from today in the ring?"
"You're on," Jeffries agreed.
Jeffries and his team spent the next hour not only walking Ana around, but also helping her and Ray climb into their boat and go to where she was found. By the time they brought them back, it was clear she was drained. It almost looked like the only thing keeping her on her feet was Ray.
"Mr. Grey," Jeffries addressed the big boss, "that light heading our way is your helicopter. Taylor has us send a message to your pilot to head this way. We secured permission for him to land on the grass about a mile or so down the road. I have a team illuminating the area waiting for them. All you need to do is follow us and we'll make sure you are delivered to the site."
Ana thanked each of the troopers with a hug before she got into the car. Ray got into the back seat and held her as she sank into his arms. Otherwise seating was the same until we got to Charlie Tango. It was hard watching Ray say good-bye to Ana. Emotionally, she was bordering on distraught. Kate got her to take the other half of the anti-anxiety pill, which was good. I was surprised when Ray called Grey over to his side of the car before he got out. Ana had finally fallen asleep leaning against her father.
"My little girl needs a substitute pillow. Are you up for the job Grey?" Ray asked. Grey nodded and took his place in the car, with Ana now resting in his arms. "Be good to my little girl Grey. I'm trusting you with the only thing I value in my life."
Taylor and I watched as Ray leaned in, kissed Ana's forehead, and bid everyone good-bye before getting in to his truck and heading back toward Montesano. Taylor and I exchanged a knowing glance before he took charge. "Mr. Grey, Sawyer, and I will drive Ana back to Seattle. Everyone else gets to ride Charlie Tango."
"Ana wanted to have dinner at her place tonight after all this was over. I know she's a bit out of it right now, but she arranged to have our friend Mac at her place so dinner will be ready when we get there," I inform them. "All are welcome. I know Ana really does want you all to be there."
Elliot accepts for the group. "And the address?"
"2235 Fairview, slip 7," I inform them and wait for Elliot and Kate's reactions.
"She's living on a houseboat?" Kate asked astounded. "Wait, 2235 Fairview. Don't her Uncle Shrek and his Hell's Angel buddies live on that same dock?"
"Convenient, I know," I smirk as I watch them head toward Charlie Tango and text Flynn that it went fairly well.