I am sorry for taking so ridiculously long to update this. My gravely underestimated how much time I'd have over the summer and the return to school was hectic. Also... I've recently (as in during the summer months) started cosplaying. Check out my deviantart (ID: alesuriko) for pictures of my Tira cosplay (Soul Calibur 4) for Montreal Comic Con, I won best in class so that brought me overwhelming joy for a good while and I met tealpirate and KellyJane from Parle Productions! And Vic Mignogia kissed me on the cheek! But enough bragging... add me on deviantart if you are interested in the cosplay realm. (I will be doing Sasuke/Naruto cosplay soon).

I have twitter and tumblr now, also under ArraFrost. Please follow me if you're interested in hearing updates more frequently about where I am in the writing process (and what new fanfics I'm thinking about writing), and ESPECIALLY if you want to pester me about sitting my butt down and actually writing because seriously, it definitely helps. I remember EllaCrain, dramagirl725 and kisa167 getting on my case about Concrete Naruto and they definitely kept me on the ball with the updates, so much thanks to them. I'm also on twitter, tumblr and deviantart a hellova lot more than I'm on fanfiction... So please keep that in mind.

Thanks so much to everyone who is still reading this story, I know it's a process and I know I'm difficult to deal with in terms of updating but like I always say... I REFUSE to ever be one of those people who drop their stories. This fanfiction will never be dropped. Ever. It WILL be completed. Never doubt that. Thanks again and much love to all those who have read and reviewed! Also thanks to gummybear1620 for the inspiration... you'll know why once you read.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Chapter Five:

Naruto sighed as he pulled into his driveway late that night. Normally if he returned this late during the evening, his headlights would be the only thing that gave him any illuminating light because the streetlights were too distant to shine near the top of his driveway. But this time, his porch light was on, as though awaiting his arrival. It could only mean one thing. Someone was inside awaiting his arrival.

Only two people, other than himself, had a key to this home. Although Kiba's key was the result of his brunet friend stealing his own key off of him, copying it on his own and returning it to his desk at the school before he could know any better... Kiba was still welcomed to keep the key despite Naruto's initial protest. It had been an interesting argument to have in the hallway outside his classroom. Once he returned to stand in front of the students, his own mini-me, as Naruto liked to silently call those particular sarcastic and quick-witted students that reminded him of himself at their age, promptly asked him if he and his boyfriend needed to visit couple's counselling. Naruto had shook his head and laughed it off claiming that he wasn't having relationship problems but rather issues in training his dog.

The other person who possessed a key to the house had been given a key freely. Although he had dropped subtle hints by arriving drastically early on evenings when they were supposed to meet up, coincidentally they were also days when he knew that Naruto had plans after school and wouldn't be returning until their appointed meeting. After that one day when Gaara had been sitting on his steps, drenched from the pouring rain, Naruto began to wonder if he was doing this on purpose. Sure it could be assumed that it would have made more sense for Gaara to wait in his dry car for Naruto to return but apparently his car had been in the shop and he had called a taxi to bring him to Naruto's house.

That was when Naruto decided to get a copy of his house key and give it to his partner who insisted on being early to their meetings. Naruto didn't forget to note that after his ginger boyfriend was given a key to the house, his attention to punctuality had lessened. His not-so-subtle point was well taken he'd guessed. Gaara had simply been pushing for commitment in an unconventional way that lessened the pressure that it would put on Naruto. He was lucky to have someone as creative and thoughtful as Gaara was about their relationship. Gaara was patient, but his wishes were never withheld from Naruto, in fact they were left in plain sight for whenever Naruto wanted to notice and respond to them.

Naruto stared at the window which was lit up. Gaara was likely in the living room, sitting on the couch reading a book or doing school work with the radio on a hushed volume in the background. He didn't watch television and he didn't listen to the radio loud enough to distract him.

Suddenly, Naruto felt a flush of familiarity tempered by a sense of displacement. There he was, sitting in his car, in his driveway, staring at the living room window... waiting for the nerve to get out of the car and walk into the house to greet the person waiting for him on the couch. Naruto groaned loudly and let his head fall against his steering wheel with a loud thud, just nearly avoiding the horn that would have not only alerted his boyfriend of his presence but it would have also brought Naruto back to reality by offering a shock to his sensitive eardrums. Oh how the roles were reversed after being apart for so long.

Naruto lifted his head up from the wheel as his eyes studied his feelings with concern. Why was it that he felt guilty... as if he was in Sasuke's place all those months ago when he most probably felt guilty for cheating on his wife with Naruto. His brows furrowed as he thought back to how Sasuke would wait for a moment in his car before getting out and joining him in the house... was this what it felt like? Was he coming to terms with his guilt for cheating on his wife? Not that this was what Naruto was feeling... exactly. He couldn't feel guilty for cheating when he'd never even been in an opportunity to cheat, not that Naruto would ever put someone through what he'd gone through as the other person. Naruto was simply... afraid of commitment... afraid to commit to Gaara because he was still thinking of... Sasuke...

"God..." Naruto whispered into the leather upholstery of the steering wheel as he rested his forehead against it once more. "I can't be..."

Soft knocking on his window made Naruto jump so hard his seat belt pulled roughly against him and slammed him back in his seat. The blonde's attention shot to the window as he glared with fear before he was flooded with reassurance yet apprehension.

There his redheaded boyfriend stood, obviously worried about why Naruto had been sitting in his car in the driveway for fifteen minutes, as Naruto would realize when he glanced down at the clock as he took the keys out of the ignition.

Turning his car off for the night, Naruto got out of the car to join Gaara in the driveway.

"Hey." Gaara spoke softly as both a greeting and a question.

"Uh... hi..." Naruto responded nervously without looking Gaara fully in the eye. "I was uh... just thinking... sorry if I worried you."

His sentence was spoken almost rapidly as he moved to walk past Gaara and into the house to find solitude but as soon as his back was to his boyfriend, the tone of Gaara's voice stopped him in his tracks.

"Naruto."

Naruto breathed in and looked up at the clear sky. Stars shone so brightly way out in the country, away from the lights of civilization. And for once, Naruto actually thought he had some clarity in what he was thinking.

"I don't know if I can talk about it, Gaara." The blonde responded truthfully and almost too confidently for Gaara's liking.

"You can talk to me about anything." Gaara spoke softly once more, but his concern and possibly suspicion were leaking through.

"No..." Naruto sighed, turning around so he was face to face once more. "Not about this... not about..." He inhaled sharply as his guilt mounted his emotions. He knew that Gaara had given him nothing but time, patience, and love but when it came to something like this... something that Naruto felt he should feel ashamed of... but somehow didn't. Something that made Naruto suffer so deeply... yet long for so wholeheartedly... he didn't know if he could confess that to Gaara. He had not been the only one hurt by the affair... and that's what it was... Naruto had been involved in an affair. How much trust would he earn from Gaara if he exposed that? How much sympathy would he give a man that willingly and knowingly had sex with a married man, for a year? But Naruto had to be honest and accept that what Gaara would think of him wasn't his only reason for withholding this information about his recent past.

"Naruto... Why can't you tell me-"

"I just can't Gaara... Please understand." Naruto cut him off with a pleading look about his eyes. He was desperate to end this conversation, to have things be the way they were... but that was a difficult feat in itself. "Eventually I might-"

"Might?" Gaara questioned, still as calm as ever but Naruto knew he was starting to tire from the tension. He wanted answers that Naruto simply wasn't willing to give him.

"Yes... Might... It's not exactly something I'm..." Naruto stopped himself before he said that it wasn't something he was proud of. As true as it may have been, it was not at all an accurate portrayal of his and Sasuke's so-called relationship. Not to mention, if he said to Gaara that he'd done something he wasn't proud of... Gaara might jump to some conclusions that Naruto did not want to deal with or dismiss right now. So he settled by ending his sentence in a more safe and obscure manner. "...able to discuss right now."

"You're not able to discuss the reason you've been avoiding me for the past week?" Gaara asked abruptly with far more conviction than his previous sentences.

Naruto was actually taken off guard by that accusation. Sure they hadn't been spending as much time as they usually did but Naruto had needed time alone to figure himself out.

"I haven't been avoiding you."

"You really believe that, Naruto?" Gaara asked, calm once again but there was a note of surprise in his voice. Surprised that Naruto honestly thought he hadn't been avoiding him.

"I..." Naruto swallowed his words, unsure of himself now. "I've just been preoccupied..."

"With what?" Gaara's question didn't seem like a question to Naruto. The tone thoroughly expressed that Gaara wasn't expecting an answer.

And he was right. Naruto's eyes averted from the shame of not being able or willing to tell Gaara the truth of what was going on in his mind.

"Naruto..." Gaara sighed. "If you're unwilling to talk to me about this..."

"It's not that I'm unwilling, Gaara. It's just that... it's difficult for me to discuss... with anyone."

"Kiba?"

"What?"

Gaara narrowed his eyes as though he were displaying a bit of jealousy, "Have you discussed this with Kiba?"

Naruto frowned and bit his lip. Technically, Kiba knew everything about what was going on... at least what was going on before Naruto started to feel what he was feeling these past days. But Naruto hadn't spoken to him about his feelings that have reawakened, he hadn't mentioned to Kiba how guilty he felt despite the fact that he hadn't technically done anything wrong.

"No, not really." Naruto answered honestly, or at least as honestly as he felt.

"Kiba doesn't know anything?" Gaara asked with disbelief. Having been with Naruto for even their short time together, it was clear that Kiba was the confidant in Naruto's life and it was particular hard for Gaara to accept that the loyal guard dog knew nothing of Naruto's current predicament.

"Well... he knows some things... But what does that matter?" Naruto's brows furrowed, finding it odd that Kiba was now part of this make-shift interrogation. Kiba was a trusted friend and had been for years, it made no sense for Gaara to be jealous of him. In point of fact, it made no sense for Gaara to be jealous at all, as Naruto hadn't seen any indication that Gaara was a jealous person.

"Kiba knows more about my boyfriend than I do." Gaara answered simply and to the point. There was no anger in the sentence or conviction, merely a plain fact that Gaara felt needed to be brought to the blonde's attention.

"Gaara..." Naruto sighed, staring at his boyfriend who may have lost the higher ground, "Kiba will probably always know more about me than you. I- I don't mean anything by that and I'm not trying to say that I don't trust you. It's just... he's been my friend for so long and well he knows everything about me... just about."

"Understood." Gaara stated simply and confused the blonde by walking past the blonde toward the door to Naruto's house.

"What?" Naruto turned and followed him. "Wait, Gaara. I- I didn't mean to offend you by that-"

"I'm not offended, Naruto. He's your best friend, I'm your boyfriend. Information is privy." And he continued into the house and into the living room, which was when Naruto noticed that Gaara hadn't bothered to put shoes on his feet. Of course that wasn't unusual, as Gaara was a rather unusual person and enjoyed bare feet for the most part.

Naruto followed his boyfriend into the house and by the time he took his shoes off and hung up his jacket, Gaara returned from the living room with his bag in hand.

"Are you leaving?" Concern dripped from Naruto's voice and he prayed he didn't destroy his relationship with the redhead.

"The taxi is on its way." Gaara stated with a brief nod.

Looking out into the driveway from the screen door Naruto took into account the emptiness of his driveway, other than his car. Which meant Gaara had planned the evening so that they would only have one form of transport out in the morning. It would have been one of those splendid evenings where they do everything together... and Naruto had ruined that. Naruto and his stupid lingering obsession to the past.

"I'm not angry." Gaara spoke as he approached the door and turned around to face his boyfriend. "You need time and I'll give it to you. Don't take too long though."

Naruto half smiled at Gaara's playful jeer but it was mixed with sadness at his boyfriend's inherit ability of being so understanding. It would have been easier to watch him leave in anger but instead he would have to deal with a stronger sense of guilt and shame boiling in his stomach.

Gaara opened the door and stepped through, glancing back at Naruto one last time.

"I'm sorry, Gaara... I wish-" Was all Naruto could get out before Gaara silenced him with a soft gesture of his hand.

"I'll see you later." The sympathetic yet disappointed glimmer to the redhead's eyes caused Naruto's own blue orbs to avert directly to the floor. He couldn't believe how much of an asshole he felt he was becoming.

As if taking the lack of eye contact as his cue, Gaara closed the door behind him. The noise of it shutting startled Naruto to gaze up at the doorway now occupied by only the door. He stepped forward and leaned his forehead against the cold door, wishing he could let go of the past and move on. For both his own happiness and Gaara's.

The sound of a car made the blonde sigh. The taxi must have been in the area. A few more distant sounds and all Naruto was left with was silence, filling his eyes and suffocating him.

Why did he have to feel this way? He couldn't understand the hold this man had over him and why he wasn't simply allowed to live a simple life. First the year of waiting, wishing, hoping... the struggle to break free... the slow but intensely gratifying process of moving on and becoming comfortable with a new lifestyle... it was all shattered by one glance, one conversation, one unlucky run in at the movie theatres.

And the one thing that Naruto kept repeating in his head was if it was all worth it? One month... just one more month... if he could have waited it out.

Naruto sighed and shook his head as he recalled the Friday morning when Sasuke's name had been in the newspaper and on Gaara's lips. The fight in the bar over his sexuality. Naruto couldn't help but think at the time that if only he'd waited it out one more month, then he might have been able to fulfil the fantasy that had raced through his head since the day when Naruto had asked Sasuke to move in with him. Hell... he'd been fantasizing about that since the first time their mouths connected in a passionate kiss... or since the first time their eyes connected in such an intimate way in the dark corner of that bar...

But he knew it wasn't true. If he hadn't said anything, if he hadn't struggled for that freedom and left Sasuke... he'd still be trapped in that cycle. The Friday night anticipation. The web of lies that consumed his life. That was how it would have been... he could just feel it.

Pushing away from the door, he exhaled through his nose. There was no use fixating on it now. The damage was done... to his psyche and his current relationship.

Time... he just needed time to think about why he was so... No. That was a lie. He didn't need time. He knew exactly why he was feeling like such a douchebag. Sasuke was that reason. More specifically his feelings for Sasuke that had never truly died, it had merely been dismissed to wait in the sidelines.

Naruto cursed as he paced the length of his kitchen, wringing his hands as his thoughts ran faster than his feet. It was true that seeing Sasuke now, after all that time, had caused those feelings to rise from the pit of his stomach but it was also true that Sasuke wasn't right for him. Sasuke had lied to him and abandoned him.

"Technically I abandoned him last..." Naruto argued with himself, picturing their final break in that hospital room. Sasuke looked pitiful and the desperation in his eyes almost made the blonde crawl into the bed next to him... but Naruto had resisted everything and he'd become a better person because of that.

He'd grown stronger, learned how to say no, and was finally independent. It was only after he had finally broken all ties with Sasuke that Naruto had realized an all important fact. In order for either of them to move forward... one of them had to leave the other.

"How happy do you think you two would have been if you had just left your wife for him?"

The blunt words caused the raven's brows to furrow in offence and confusion. Dark eyes lifted to gauge the silver haired man's expression that was undoubtedly blank as it always had been since the day they'd met. Of course, that's part of why they got along so well, their stoic expressions, their unreadable eyes that rarely challenged each other and when they did... both had equal ground and the words and logic were the focus of the argument.

"What do you mean?" Sasuke asked his mentor crisply. Rather concerned at the reason Kakashi had decided to bring up his blonde mistress, as it were, during a silent night at the office. Sasuke had been at his desk, calmly sifting through the paper work of his team and Kakashi had been doing the same... with much less dedication and had gotten much less done compared to his younger colleague. Sasuke had a sneaking suspicion that the man had been reading that sleazy porn magazine that he'd seen in the backseat of Kakashi's car from time to time.

Kakashi glanced at him over a few cleverly placed documents he'd been holding in front of his face.

"Think about it Sasuke, how long do you think you and Naruto would have lasted if you'd left Sakura before he did the breaking up." Kakashi's voice sounded curious but matter of fact.

"Probably a lot longer than we did in our apparently dysfunctional relationship."

Kakashi ignored the latter part of the sentence. "I highly doubt you would have lasted even half that time."

"What?" Sasuke's brow twitched.

"Well, considering the circumstances, it doesn't give the impression that it would have been a long running relationship."

"What makes you say that?"

Kakashi lowered the documents from his face, placing them on his desk. "Without you leaving your wife, Naruto held onto the promise with more obsession and determination each time you broke that promise, convincing himself to give you a little more time. Had you left Sakura, that would have been it. True you'd have been happy for a time, but eventually he'd become paranoid that the prospect of you leaving."

Kakashi gave Sasuke a chance to speak his mind, to shut down his mentor's words or question them. But the raven stayed silent, staring at him with intensity.

"Straight and to the point, huh Kakashi?" Sasuke grunted as he piled the unfinished files into his bag, true there were only two folders but it was still something he was going to have to bring home. "Thought you were more for the roundabout approach."

"It seemed relevant." Kakashi shrugged, turning back to the considerably large pile of file folders spread into a disorderly pile onto his desk.

Sasuke scowled, grabbing his jacket and heading out the door of their office without a word of goodbye. You only say that because it is... goddamn old man. Sasuke nearly muttered to himself but kept it tightly locked in the corner of his mind.

His mentor had actually been spot on to what Sasuke had been thinking about and feeling for the past few days. The what-ifs and the possibilities that sparked in Sasuke's mind more than usual now that he and his wife had officially separated. However, his colleague's logic was unfortunately true. Naruto was that kind of person, someone who would worry, someone who would feel inferior, knowing that he had been the other... but it shouldn't work like that, Sasuke couldn't help but harp on.

Sure it could easily work like that if Sasuke had left his wife for a younger woman or for someone with bigger breasts or any of that superficial bullshit but if Sasuke had left his wife for Naruto... it would have been because he'd have excepted that he was gay and that he loved a man. It wasn't as though Sasuke was going to leave each relationship for the opposite gender because he was bored with that gender for the time being... although that could be a paranoia if someone focused on it.

Sasuke sighed loudly as he unlocked his car, dumping the bag in the backseat before climbing into the driver's seat and closing the door. His hands gripped the steering wheel and he inhaled sharply through his nose.

It had been a relationship doomed to fail... no matter how he looked at it, Sasuke couldn't see a way that would have gone smoothly. Naruto had left him... Naruto had made the choice... and Sasuke couldn't argue that it was Naruto's decision that saved any positive aspects of their time together. After making him suffer for so long... if Sasuke had finally left Sakura during their Friday night routine it would have only ended in misery. Naruto would have been happy, ecstatic even for a short while... but eventually the blame and the guilt would consume their relationship. Sasuke couldn't imagine the ordeal if Naruto hadn't been able to chose to deal with the pain the affair had caused him... the pain Sasuke had caused him... and Sasuke like the odds of how introverted and afraid he would have continued to be about his sexuality and the one he loved.

Without Naruto's courage to severe how broken their involvement had become, Sasuke would have missed the wake up call... and that realization hurt. Every time the raven remembered that he'd made and accepted this epiphany, his stomach dropped... because he had never wanted to know or accept that not being with Naruto was a good thing.