Author's Note: So sorry it took so long to update! my iPod sucks :p Thanks for the reviews! I'm glad you all like it :) Enjoy!
P.S. No, Maka doesn't know that Soul will get his memory back eventually. It'll be a total surprise to her. Just so you know :)
It had been a month and a half since Soul had left, and Maka was still miserable.
After she'd run from him that day, she kept running, not anywhere in particular; she just wanted the pace of her feet to match the beat of her heart, the sound of her shoes clapping on the marble floor to drown out the pounding in her ears. The tears in her eyes blinded her slightly, but she knew her way around the school well enough to not get completely lost. She'd run until she was out of breath, and then even farther, because she could still hear the piano in her head, could still hear Soul in her head, and she wanted it to stop.
When she finally physically couldn't go anymore, the stitch in her side threatening to break her in half, Maka collapsed against a wall, not sure was she was but certain she could find her way back. As she listened to the deafening silence in the empty hallway, she'd finally let go of everything she was holding back; the dam broke and the flood of tears came forward, salty and wet against her cheeks. She let her sobs wrack her body, let the harsh sound echo through the space between the walls surrounding her. Her eyes closed and she saw flashes of Soul, of their life together; his shark tooth grin, his determined stare, the fond looks he gave her when she nerded out on him. Her throat hurt from crying, her eyes sore. But as bad as she felt, she knew she'd have felt worse if she had dragged her partner back into this life.
So she wiped away most of her tears and stood, squaring her shoulders and making her way back through the school, following the twists and turns that would lead her back to where she'd last seen Stein. When she finally got there, her eyes were still a bit red and puffy, but the tears no longer flowed; her mask was in place.
Stein, being able to see her soul, would know exactly how much pain she was feeling, but thankfully he said nothing. He offered one last, "I'm sorry, Maka." But the mentioned girl shook her head with a sad smile on her face, a smile that said 'I understand.' She continued past him, just to the window, just in time to see a small black car (with an unmistakable head of white hair in the back seat) pull away. She rested her forehead on the glass for a moment, content to watch Soul leave behind this difficult life they led. When the car went past the schools walls, when she could no longer see it, only then did she close her eyes and try to compose herself as more tears threatened to spill. Her thoughts were broken, however, when a loud cry from the doorway snapped her out of her reverie.
"Maka!" Even after so long, her father's voice still sent jolts of equal parts annoyance and fondness down her spine. She didn't even have time to turn to face him before Spirit was lifting her away from the window, spinning her around, then setting her down and situating her so he could look into her eyes. "You've been crying! Who did this to you? I'll make them pay!" His blade slid out, unbidden, and there were a few quiet muttering a from Stein across the room.
But Maka wasn't in the mood to deal with her crazy father just then. She wanted to go home, to hers and Soul's apartment, and- well, just hers now. "I don't want to talk about it," she said flatly, killing the conversation before it could begin. Her father's face fell, but right now she couldn't be bothered to care. She turned her green eyes on him, simply telling him, "please, I just want to go home right now." After turning down several offers of a ride home from him, she left the school, not noticing that she walked the same path Soul's car had taken. Predictably, because the universe hated her (and because hey! everything else was going wrong today, why not the weather?), it started to rain as soon as she was past the main gates. She walked home, wet, shivering, miserable. She got splashed by several cars and puddles along the way, and more often than not, no apology was called after her. But Maka hardly noticed, so lost in her own thoughts and the sadness that threatened to overwhelm her. When she finally made it home, she shut the door behind her, and proceeded to slump against it. She didn't cry then; no, the tears would come later, when she abandoned the door in favor of Soul's bedroom, curling up on top of the sheets, surrounded by things that reminded her of her partner, her best friend. At that moment though, she just let the door hold her up, because she didn't think she could do it on her own.
That night, when she finally fell asleep on Soul's bed, her dreams were filled with visions of white hair and red eyes, and a low laugh that never failed to bring a smile to her face.
When she woke the next morning, she didn't quite remember what had happened. She nearly had a panic attack when her soul reached for Soul's and found nothing but empty space. She'd sat up in the bed, panicking, before she realized where she was and whose scent was surrounding her. Only then did she cry.
She did fairly well in front of others for a while.
Her friends, thankfully, no longer mentioned Soul around her, although sometimes when she left the room she could hear them whispering. She knew they meant well. The news had shaken them too when they found out, just a few days after the white haired teen had gone. Maka had been fine, really... Until Black*Star had interrupted the light conversation with a loud, "Where's Soul?" The blonde had felt her face harden, and she quickly turned and walked away. Thankfully, Kid (being the headmaster's son) had known what happened, and explained everything as best he could to the group. Patty had cried, and everyone else had stared after the lone meister with so much sympathy in their eyes she had wanted to gag. "Poor Maka," she heard Tsubaki say, but she left the park before she could hear anymore. They all learned not to breach the topic again.
Her father, unfortunately, never learned. When he first found out Soul had left, he'd called Maka up and invited her out to lunch, for a "celebration." When she'd met him at the diner, he exclaimed, "a toast to getting rid of the shark tooth pest!" Maka , to her later dismay, had burst into tears and fled. After learning the whole story, he'd come to his daughter's apartment, with promises to "gather a search team to hunt him down," and "force him to remember my precious little Maka." She knew he meant well, but she could only take so much. She asked him to stop bringing it up. But he could never refrain, so she learned to live with it.
And so, 6 weeks and 3 days later, she was still not doing well.
She had stopped sleeping in Soul's bedroom after 3 weeks, only because she had already gone through most of the things he'd left behind, and because his scent had faded from the sheets and they no longer brought her any comfort. She stayed in her own room again, but rearranged her space so that her bed was now pressed against the wall that separated her room and what used to be Soul's. This way, when things got particularly bad and she couldn't stop crying, she could at least try to pretend that Soul was on the other side. But as active as her imagination was, she couldn't hear his breathing, or the quiet grumbles he made everytime he stubbed his toe on the edge of his bed, despite saying countless times he would move it. The illusion of his company never lasted long.
She felt like a horrible person for missing him as much as she did.
She knew it had been the right thing. Everytime she thought about it (basically all the time), she constantly told herself this. Soul could live a better, less dangerous life this way. She wouldn't be putting him at risk anymore. Never again would a scar mar his alabaster skin because of her (she'd never quite forgiven herself for the long mark across his chest). Maka knew that this was the safest thing for him, to be with his family, not with a partner that could get him killed, a meister that could make him get hurt. He could be happy now. She knew if their roles were reversed, Soul would want the same thing for her.
It didn't make her miss him any less.
Earlier that day Maka had heard Patty make an offhand comment about missing the Scythe, and Liz had swatted her in the head, not-so-subtly pointing to the exit Maka had just passed through. "Imagine how Maka must feel," she heard whispered through the wall. She didnt want them to imagine it. She never wanted anybody to ever feel this hallowness, the feeling that there was something so important missing from you that you couldn't get back. She hated it, the constant ache in her chest, the erratic beating on her heart when she thought about her partner.
The blonde hated a lot of things lately. She hated the witch that had caused this whole mess, because it was because of her that Soul was gone. She hated herself, for wishing he was back where he belonged, for wishing he was by her side again. She even occasionally felt a stab of disdain for Stein, for not being able to do more, not being able to properly fix Soul or find a way to give him his memories back. She absolutely loathed the whispers that followed her down the school hallways; Lord Death had said it was of utmost importance that nobody outside their group of friends knew about Soul. So when she made her way through the school's halls, the rumors about the Scythe's disappearance grew in numbers and ridiculousness.
"I heard he was murdered."
"No no, Soul was the murderer!"
"Idiots, he left because Maka was a terrible meister to him."
The last one, of course, was the closest to the truth. Maka had been a terrible meister; she had put them in danger, made them face an opponent that they couldn't possibly beat, because she had overestimated their abilities, her abilities. She was just as much to blame as the witch they couldn't defeat.
It was now nearing midnight, and Maka found herself sitting outside Soul's bedroom door. This wasn't quite the easiest way to feel close to him now, but she couldn't find the energy to force herself into her own room. She sat wrapped in a thin blanket, leaning against the door, letting soft music play out of Soul's old CD player. The music reminded her of him, which was both a blessing and a curse; she enjoyed these moments when she could remember the good times, but it made her chest ache so badly she just wanted to rip her heart out.
She heard her phone chime in her pocket, and shuffled her position so she could pull it out of her pocket. Her eyebrows raised a bit as she noticed it was her mother texting her.
"I've talked to your father. Don't be so down, Maka. It's hard, but it will get easier."
She knew her mother spoke from experience. Spirit had been her partner, in so many senses of the word, and when he'd left her, Maka remembered her describing the feeling as a part of her being ripped clean away. Her mother had told her that there is no worse feeling in the world than the one soul that is closest to you breaking that sacred bond that meisters share with their weapons; nothing quite hurts as much as having your partner, the one whose soul matches wavelengths so perfectly with yours, decide that your souls didn't belong together anymore. She had said there was no greater pain, but that the it fades with time.
Even so, her mother was still able to be near Spirit. They might not have been weapon and meister anymore, but they had an odd sort of friendship (one that focused mainly around Maka, really), they still talked. Their souls were no longer connected anymore, but that closeness could still be felt.
Maka couldn't do that. Soul was well and truly gone.
Once more, tears welled up in her eyes, and like she had every time before, she cursed herself for not being able to let this awful feeling go away. She hated crying; it was a sign of weakness, of vulnerability, and she hated that with a burning passion. But tears had fallen more often in the past month and a half than the entire rest of the year. It was as if she had lost complete control of her tear ducts in Soul's absence.
She sat there, wrapped in the blanket, lightly rocking back and forth to the absent boy's music as she leaned against his door. The tears didn't stop, but then again, when she was alone when did they ever?
Everything was just so wrong now. Soul was gone, Maka... The light and the fight had just gone out of her. She wouldn't force herself to be happy anymore. She couldn't.
She fell asleep against his door, checking the time on her phone one last time before she lost consciousness.
12:01.
6 weeks and 4 days.