Chapter 9:

There's something to be said about Happy Endings and how they just don'texist. People believe they're supposed to fall in love and get the equivalent to the American Dream…but that's just not true. The post-apocalyptic warzone didn't offer anything but pain and hope—which was more painful than pain itself…because for a fucking minute you expected the world to hand you everything it never handed you before. You actually thought it was going to be like an ending from a movie. The credits were going to roll and you were going to be with the person you loved…

But happy endings just don't exist.

The wet grass brushed against his skin as he shifted—he heard nothing, he felt nothing, he remembered nothing about the last few hours…and he was happy. There was a moment where he was happy that he'd managed to escape somehow and then the memories hit him like a 400 pound grounder with anger issues. His body shot up due to his fight-or-flight reaction but if he were being honest, he didn't want to move at all.

"Bellamy, man…" Miller said slowly, capturing the face of his friend. Nathan Miller was positive the face would be locked in his memory for the rest of his life. Bellamy Blake was angry and he was sad but he looked as if he were absolutely worthless…he looked like he'd failed the mission but it was Nathan who failed the mission. "I'm sorry."

"You were here?" Bellamy said, "You couldn't stop her! You just let her go in there to die…why the hell would you do that?"

Nathan remained strong, "Clarke made her choice." He motioned towards the mountain and said through his teeth, "She walked in there knowing damn well she wasn't walking out."

He watched Bellamy's angry outburst as he threw a grief-stricken tantrum. Part of Nathan wanted to know what Bellamy thought punching a tree would do, the other part wanted to join him…but they had to get home and there was no fucking way they were going to do that if both of them were falling apart. He would have to keep the seams of his sanity tight until he was alone. He watched as the fight in Bellamy drained…heard the sound of his legs hitting the dirt as a lone fist hit the tree once more and he cried…no, he was beyond crying—he was wailing, "Why would she do that?"

He wanted to give Bellamy a good answer but he didn't know what to say. It wasn't Clarke's time. It wasn't how it had to be. It wasn't her time…god, it wasn't her time. They came down to Earth with extra time—time they shouldn't have been allotted in the first place. They'd survived and the most resourceful person Nathan knew was almost certainly dead—it wasn't her time. "I know what you're thinking and it's a pretty shitty plan, Bellamy." He said after all sounds ceased from Bellamy. "It might hurt to hear that she sacrificed her life for yours, but that's what she did and if you storm that place with a thousand people—a thousand people, Bellamy—and you die in the process, she has died for nothing."

"She could still be alive." Bellamy insisted, "I have to save her, Miller." He stood up, walking in the direction of the mountain. Nathan grabbed his shoulders, pulling him to the ground in a tackle. "Get the fuck off me!"

"You can't go in there!" Nathan said, "If you go in there and die the council has won… no one will give a damn about us anymore. We need a leader, Bellamy. We need a leader and that's who you have to be. Mourn her the right way—don't be an idiot."

"She made the choice…" Bellamy said, "I deserve to make the same choice."

Nathan's voice lowered, "We don't get what we deserve here. You deserved—hell, Clarke deserved to have everything she wanted. She deserved to be an artist and she deserved to get married and have kids and all that bullshit that we think we don't want but we really want because we're human…she deserved all of that but we don't win here. We don't get what we want, we don't get what we deserve…we don't get happy endings." Bellamy was silent, his mind somewhere else other than fighting Miller. "She left you a letter."

He nodded for Miller to hand it over—which, Miller did after a few deep breaths.

I told you I'd come for you,

-Your Princess