Too Late - Chapter IV
"Like a wall
of stars"
– M83
I finally walk into the warmth of my Victor's Village home. Mouthwatering odors of my mother's vegetable stew fills my airway. It smells like home.
Prim is outside, gathering herbs from the small herb garden that my mother had established just outside. Everyone was allowed a day off as the newly crowned victors of the seventy-fourth Annual Hunger Games have finally arrived home.
I suppose school is out of the question for me, now. Because my whole life will be broadcasted on television, and I will become a mentor alongside Peeta. I suppose we will be giving Haymitch a much needed break. Prim will be returning to school, no doubt. I won't be seeing her often, but my mother will be home.
Prim walks into the room with handfuls of fresh thyme whilst my mother tends to her stew. I sit at the dining table as they beaver away.
Night falls upon me too quickly, and not having Peeta here isn't good. I wake up crying, screaming, helplessly looking for his warmth, but instead I find nothing. It leaves me feeling very cold, and very small.
No, no, no. Not now, please.
I shoot down towards the bathroom and begin to throw up. My throat burns, and tears of exertion leak out of my eyes. I hear my mother's voice behind me, and she's by my side in a heartbeat.
"Katniss? Are you alright?" she rubs my back, as gently as Peeta did.
I lean over the bowl of the toilet. Not saying a word, I think I'm done now, so I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.
I go to say something, but again..
I just burst into tears.
My mother does her best to calm me, but I'm too shaken up. I just lean into her and cry, throwing my arms around her, I think this is the first time, in a very long time that I've allowed myself to weep with her presence.
I get the feeling that she just knows, she knows what has happened and she knows how I must be feeling.
My mother asks me questions, I either nod, or shake my head, but most of the time I'm nodding.
The last question she asks, sets me off.
"Did anything.. happen between you and Peeta?"
I nod my head slowly while tears spill over my eyes. She gathers me into her arms and tells me all that she can. It's a possibility that I could be pregnant with Peeta's child.
"I'm so afraid!" I cry, "this wasn't meant to happen!"
She holds me until my eyes dry out.
"Do you love him?"
This question, to be perfectly honest, I have no clue how to answer this. I know I do have strong feelings for him, whether its care, or love. I can't comprehend. What happened was a selfish act of comfort, and I am to blame for it. The question goes unanswered for a while, I don't reply to her, not with a nod, nor with a shake of the head.
I think back to all the times on the train, where he would hold me in his arms until I fell asleep, then I think of the one time, and one time only, that he dedicated himself to me.
The way my mother looks at me is disapproving, whilst living as a merchant, what's considered appropriate is making love after marriage, and I have done the complete opposite. I've let my mother down.
Tears fall as I whisper my lonely anticipated answer.
"Like a wall of stars."
Remember to review pleaaase sorry it's so short.. next one will be longer ! 3 :)