Silver Destiny

Written by some madao

Gintama is the creation and property of Hideaki Sorachi, whereas Touhou Project is the creation and property of Zun.

Chapter Five

He didn't wake. Rather, it was more like an old CRT television turning on. The picture returned, relatively quickly, but he was still feeling disorientated. It was like his brain was still adjusting its v-hold and h-hold, and it wasn't even bothering with the degauss button, just yet.

He groaned, annoyed his brain was using old terminology most people less than twenty years old wouldn't even understand. That's not how J*mp attracted new readers! One had to keep current with all the new technologies to remain relevant to this generation's J*mp fanbase. Of course, his wallet disagreed. A CRT television set rescued from a neighbour's garbage and recycling pickup was good enough! Even if all the channels had switched to digital, having even at least an analog TV set added class to his office! And that's what mattered, in the end. And imagination mattered, too, to watch a TV set that didn't turn on, and couldn't broadcast digital channels even if it could turn on, anyway.

Soon, the picture his eyes were showing his brain levelled off, and the colours were returning to normal.

He wasn't in his office, he remembered. He was... somewhere else, far, far away from his home.

He was lying on something rather uncomfortable. He supposed it was the floor or ground, with the only protection from the cold being a sheet or thin blanket.

He was in a jail cell. Across from him in a separate cell was Reimu, who was gently snoring, yet sitting up while sleeping.

Well, now. Another jail cell? How many did this make, now? There was the drunk tank in Kabukicho,

and another one Yoshiwara, and...

There was a snore snort from Reimu, who blearily looked at Gintoki, blinking. She quickly fell back asleep, though.

"Ooh, she almost noticed me," said a voice.

Gintoki recognized the voice. He sat up, and looked for the woman who owned that voice. "Uh, Yu... Yuka... Sister Yukar*ko?" Something smacked the top of his head. It felt like an umbrella. He didn't see where the umbrella had come from. It had come from nowhere, pretty much.

"My, your guess was so close, and yet, it was so very wrong." Her name, again...? Wasn't it... Yukari? Tall woman? Beautiful? Slightly drunk? And very mysterious? And incredibly dangerous? "I think you're beginning to recognize me! Fantastic!"

She was Yukari Yakumo, the client.

"I specifically remember turning down your job offer," said Gintoki. "So why am I here?"
"Oh, I think you've begun to figure it out," said Yukari, cheerfully. "Some rats from your neck of the woods stumbled into my neck of the woods, and are now causing oh so great a fuss. I needed an... expert at vermin control. Obviously, you were one of the top candidates."

"It sounds like you had more than one candidate in mind. Why choose me?"

"I would be lying if I said anything other than the idea of Gintoki Sakata in Gensenkyou is incredibly amusing," replied Yukari. "I would also be lying if I said I chose only you to resolve this dilemma Gensokyou faces."

"Why not just use your other candidates, then, and let me handle my business back home?" asked Gintoki. "I'm a busy man, and can't be running around some world I don't know anything about."

"I've seen to your business," replied Yukari. "It was most incredibly difficult to find a substitute for you."

A... TV screen... appeared in front of Gintoki. He saw on the screen his office. He saw his chair. He saw on the chair a brick. A pretty purple bow was tied around it.

"Meet Ginrenga!" said Yukari, cheerfully.

"Oi!" said Gintoki. The image changed. It showed his assistants Shinpachi and Kagura cruising on his scooter, with Ginrenga being towed behind the vehicle. Neither of his assistants seemed to notice that Ginrenga wasn't the real Gintoki. Or perhaps they did, and they just didn't care.

Gintoki had a suspicion it was the latter, as the brick kept tumbling and shaking to and fro, and getting beat up by the road. In fact, as some point, Gintoki witnessed Kagura turn around and spit on Ginrenga. Actually, she probably might've done that to him, the real one, so it didn't count.

The image changed again, and this time it showed Shinpachi and Kagura at work at a construction site, using Ginrenga as a tool to pound in nails... Wait, no, they were just taking turns to beat up on Ginrenga, each using the hammer on him, hoping to break his ugly face.

"But... it's just a brick," said Gintoki. "It doesn't even have a face."

"One would think those two have some major underlying issues to work out with their boss," said Yukari. "At any rate, business at the Yorozuya Gin-chan hasn't been better in quite some time. In fact, I believe Ginrenga has more than doubled business in your absence."

"But, it's just a brick."

"And well done that brick," said Yukari. "I wish I could say the same of you, but, alas, you've ended up here, arrested by a little girl. It sounds more amusing than vexing, but it's actually far more pathetic than anything else." She sighed, feigning frustration, but failing to mask the amusement in her voice. "I suppose I should lend a hand in moving you along. There are places you need to be, after all, and people you must simply meet, and probably annoy."

Yukari's presence disappeared.

Gintoki heard a click from his cell door.

He looked over to Reimu, who was watching him. She clicked her tongue, annoyed. "That damn Violet!"

"You were awake?" asked Gintoki.

"It was a cute brick," said Reimu. "Anyway, she's annoying in that making you think what she wants you to think kind of way. So it's our job to try and not act as she wants us to, which is why I pretended to sleep." She then said, "But she's probably already anticipated us trying to trick her, anyhow."

Gintoki stood, his muscles protesting. Oh yeah, he'd been exploded. Or nearly so. He'd also been blasted, stabbed, kicked, punched, and spat upon. Or nearly spat upon, at least. And he'd splatted onto the ground definitely twice, and maybe even a third time. It was a wonder he was even still alive.

Actually, it was a miracle he could even move. He said as much to Reimu.

"There's something mysterious about this jail," said Reimu, in response. "A spell was cast to aid in healing our wounds." She tilted her head. "Or perhaps it wasn't for our benefit..." She looked around. "Marisa and Sanae seem to be missing. Is that a good thing, or should we be worried?" She then said, adding to what she'd already said, to absolutely remove any doubt or misunderstanding, "About what they might be up to, I mean?"

Gintoki tried opening the cell door. It opened.

Reimu tried opening hers, but it didn't. "Hmm." She shrugged, and then placed an ofuda against the door. She then floated through the door.

Gintoki couldn't believe his eyes. Actually, no, he could. Forget it. He'd seen weirder.

Reimu then said, "I've got a good feeling about this direction." She pointed with her gohei down the prison hallway.

"You know, you could get away with a lot with those kind of powers," said Gintoki.

"I've never used them for anything other then my duties," said Reimu, a bit coldly. "If there's something I want, I use my own two hands to take it."

"I... I suppose that's for the best," said Gintoki.

"Abuse your powers, and you lose your humanity. Who knows what you'll become when you do that?" Reimu shook her head. "A lonely yokai, afraid of losing your very existence? A bored immortal, with nothing to do for as long as your life continues? A fading god, desperate for people's faith?" She stood tall, proudly. "I'm happy enough to be a simple miko, working for the people."

Gintoki tried not to note the obviously stolen silverware she could not in anyway afford for herself poking out of the girl's sleeves. He also did his best not to comment on her trying to hide it from his sight.

"Living a simple honest life. That's what I advocate!" said Reimu, as she tightened her sleeves, so nothing would fall out. "Anyway, we move forward."

Gintoki supposed he could get behind the sentiment, if not the one saying it. However, it was a narrow hallway, so he probably didn't have a choice.

Reimu walked ahead, and Gintoki, reluctantly, followed.

They followed the hallway. Gintoki noted that while it was a jail, it seemed to be makeshift. It hadn't been one, prior, and seemed to indicate it wouldn't be as such for very much longer.

Was it just made? It seemed rushed.

Altogether, there were four cells, but all four were now empty. Two had never even been used.

Yup, as a holding facility, this place was the pits. Gintoki shook his head at the effort involved in building this facility. Nope, this place wouldn't do for a naughty drunk to sleep off the booze.

And it was already obvious it couldn't keep people from escaping.

Even worse, the upright miko ahead of him seemed to be investigating every nook and cranny of the facility, as though appraising for resale value.

Eventually, Reimu said, as she walked along, "This jail wasn't built to contain those who can use magic. But the healing magic seems like a contradiction. Why keep prisoners healthy, except for adhering to decent human rights? Those yokai upstairs don't care that much for that, though. They suck the blood of those they capture, and kill those who displease them, and they don't take prisoners."

Except, now they do. Gintoki scratched his head. It shouldn't concern him, but it probably did.

And there seemed to be a bit of bitterness in the girl's voice.

She said, unprompted, "People shouldn't be treated like cattle."

Except, Gintoki inwardly responded, people are treated like livestock. All the time. People do that to people, too. Not just monsters. At least yokai had the decency to look the part.

They entered a new room. Well, to be honest, it was the same room, but just a little different. That maid's magic, again?

What was different about the room was there was a little girl sleeping inside one of the jail cells. There was something familiar about the girl.

"That Yukari didn't have a kid, did she?" asked Gintoki, eventually, observing the girl, quietly.

"Not that I know of," said Reimu. "Of course, I don't know much about her, so I wouldn't be able to say for sure."

"This girl looks exactly like her, though. Just shrunk down. Really shrunk down."

"Yukari could just be fooling around again," said Reimu. "Wait, no. She's always fooling around, anyway." She placed an ofuda against the jail cell bars, and then again... floated... through it. She then kneeled down beside the girl, and tried to shake her awake.

The girl stirred, mumbled, but didn't wake up.

Reimu said, annoyed, "At the very least, she's like Yukari in how she sleeps like she's in a coma." She picked her up, and then exited the jail cell. She handed the girl to Gintoki.

"Why am I taking this girl? Actually, why are we taking her out of the cell? Isn't this kidnapping?" asked Gintoki, in quick succession.

"You can carry her, since you're the guy. We're taking her because she's mysterious, and for whatever reason in the possession of vampires. And no, this isn't kidnapping." Reimu stuck an ofuda onto Gintoki's clothing. "This is a rescue." She grabbed Gintoki by his collar, and then flew up through the ceiling, dragging him behind her.

The feeling was of confusion. One shouldn't just fly through solid matter.

Well, actually, perhaps they weren't flying through anything. This was a different space, entirely. Just above the mundane space where things like walls and barriers, gravity and distance existed.

Or maybe not. Gintoki's mind was simply trying to make sense of this strange power of Reimu's mysterious ability. Perhaps even she didn't understand it, and used it naturally.

They arrived in a room above ground level. It was wide, and it was open. Perfect for a fight.

Daggers appeared in thousands, surrounding both Reimu and Gintoki. Well, wasn't this terror familiar?

"Heh, so we're already back to this?" asked Gintoki, feeling a bit exposed, carrying the kid.

"Please, put the mini Yukari down, and step away from her," said the maid. "I'd rather not have to cut her."

"So even she wouldn't get out of this without being cut?" asked Gintoki.

"At the very most, she'd be slightly sliced up and possibly diced, although definitely not minced," said Sakuya. "But that's only if you resist."

"And if we surrender?"

"She wouldn't be harmed, whatsoever."

"What about us?" asked Gintoki.

"I'll make sure to kill you both quickly and efficiently," said Sakuya. "It's so much more appealing than you both struggling to survive and yet getting shredded into thousands of tiny pieces, don't you agree?"

"Hey, Gintoki. Take that... little Yukari, and run for the exit," said Reimu. "Don't worry about the maid's powers, cause my spell will make sure you get through anything."

Did everything in this place have to result in a fight? Gintoki shook his head. Wait, no, that was wrong. This started as a fight, and then continued to escalate.

He shifted the girl onto his back, and then started to run. Well, it started as a run, but when he kicked off, he started floating.

"I forgot to tell you, I've loaned you a spell that lets you float, slightly," said Reimu. "For convenience."

Gintoki flew head first into a table corner. The only table in the room. Through tears from his eyes and pouring blood from his scalp, he said, "Say that sort of thing, first!"

"Oh, I'm not letting you get away," said Sakuya. "The mistress specifically ordered me to either decapitate or castrate you before letting you get away."

"Are you sure she meant me?" asked Gintoki, trying to right himself. He'd somehow ended up with his heels over his head.

"She referred to you as the one who defiles fate."

"You mean defies?"

"No... she specifically said defiles."

Gintoki grinned. He was then kicked in the midsection by Reimu, who shot Gintoki toward the door.

"Get lost, already," said Reimu.

Gintoki spun about. He wasn't about to crash through a door if he could help it. He kicked it right off its hinges. The time for being comic relief was now over. The time for running from knife-wielding blood thirsty maids was now!

He continued floating onward. He really didn't have control over this, whatsoever. He tried to place his feet on the floor, but flailed about, helplessly. Okay, so maybe it wasn't time to run away. It was probably time to float helplessly in air.

And now that he was through the door, away from the two maniacs, where was he?

A library? It seemed a mysterious place, really. A bit dark, relatively cold, quite a bit dry, and even a little lonely.

The girl on his back didn't even stir from her sleep, which was rather odd, considering how much Gintoki'd already been through just to get even this far.

Well, since he now had the chance, he'd figure out how to use this ofuda, and at the very least right himself.

A big explosion from behind him caught him, though. Those two girls seemed to be getting a bit out of hand back in the other room. He was propelled forward, again, but this time he was shot forth like a cannon ball. He took the little Yukari into his arms, and cradled her.

At some point, perhaps after the first bounce when he next landed, he'd really have to seriously consider possibly gaining some semblance of control, here. He was tired of falling, being thrown about, and hitting his head onto things. And then he promptly hit his head onto another table corner.

End Chapter

Author's notes:

Well, it's been some time. Couldn't get comfortable writing at all. I have a chair, now, which should do a decent job, for the foreseeable future.

Got some reviews for another one of my stories. Couldn't help but grin at the reactions I'd received. It's probably the older brother in me, but to see so many people get mad at what I'd done just brings me a sadistic joy. My younger siblings are all grown up, now, so I've missed the feeling of getting someone so riled up they promised to never have anything more to do with me. I can't wait to release the next chapter for that story.